[But at the time, I was also bewildered.] [The End]

page views:1 Publication date:2023-08-10 08:12:15

I was on duty at the hospital when I received ll's call. I didn't have much to do today and was feeling bored, missing my daughter Duoduo who was back in my hometown.
"Hey, FF, it's me, LL." I recognized his voice immediately; it was still slightly deep and hoarse. "How did you get my phone number?!" I blurted out without thinking. After all these years, I never expected him to contact me suddenly. "Oh, my dad got it from your mom." Yes, Mom took Duoduo back to her hometown, so she would definitely run into her dad often; they lived on the same street and knew each other well. "I didn't ask around; they met and chatted on the street..." He added, and for some reason, I got a little angry after hearing that. What did he mean?! He was even reluctant to make a phone call! I was also a little disappointed. "So what do you want?" "Oh, nothing much. I just suddenly thought of you. We used to have a pretty good relationship, but now that we've lived in the same city for so many years, we haven't kept in touch at all, which feels really strange... Why didn't you contact me even after you came to Beijing?" Ah... " I stammered, thinking, what's so strange about it? You were so heartless to me back then!
LL has liked me from elementary school to university. He lost his mother when he was young, and his family wasn't well-off. In elementary school, his clothes were always tattered, and he was mischievous, dirty, and not very likable. However, in middle school, he suddenly became more mature, possessing a maturity beyond his years. In my second year of middle school, he happened to sit in front of me and took many opportunities to befriend me. He started studying incredibly hard, and his grades improved dramatically, becoming one of the top students in the grade, which impressed everyone. My impression of him changed drastically. Once, when the classroom was dark and we were studying by candlelight, he came over to chat with me. I learned that he had a stepmother since fourth grade, who brought two older sisters with her, making his family's situation even worse. His stepmother had always treated him poorly, and his father never favored him; he suffered a lot of bullying and injustice at home. I almost cried when he told me this. Looking at his melancholy but strong face, something inside me melted—I don't know what it was, maybe a mix of sympathy and admiration. So I started treating him very well, caring for him and listening to his troubles. Rumors about us dating circulated throughout the class, which was considered very shameful in junior high at that time. I deliberately changed seats to get away from him, and you could tell how disappointed and hurt he was. Soon after, my mother contacted a relative to transfer me to another school.
I saw him again during my sophomore summer vacation. He suddenly appeared at my doorstep, much taller and with a very sunny disposition. He said he had always wanted to visit me but lacked the courage. We chatted about old times, exchanged contact information, and then he left. We began corresponding. Every letter he wrote was filled with deep affection, expressing his unending longing for me over the years. I felt this feeling was heavy, and with the college entrance exam approaching, I deliberately reduced contact and never directly answered his questions about our relationship. This continued into university; I grew tired of him, and with other suitors around, I intentionally distanced myself. Then one day, he suddenly stopped contacting me, and I didn't think much of it. Until my junior summer vacation, he came to my house again, insisting I accompany him for a walk. We walked for over three hours, traversing the long lake embankment until my legs cramped. On the way, he quietly poured out all his feelings for me over the years. At the end, as we parted, he suddenly grabbed my hand and said, "Thank you for spending time with me today. I think I'm finally free." At the time, I didn't quite understand what he meant. Later, I unexpectedly learned that he already had a girlfriend at that time, and that he wanted to see me to end things. At that moment, my heart suddenly ached terribly. Humans are so fickle; only after truly losing him, losing his care and concern, did I realize how much I actually loved him, but I had been so absorbed in his love that I forgot that. Now, I'm the one heartbroken, and I finally understand how deep his love for me was, but it's too late!
After graduation, he went to Beijing for graduate school, while I went to Wuhan. We lost touch because we were so far apart. When I returned home in 2004, I heard he had gotten married without inviting me, or even informing me! That jerk! I planned to never speak to him again, since I had no shortage of suitors. But after several boyfriends, I couldn't feel the same genuine and intense love as him. I started to regret my cold attitude towards him; I deserved it! In the quiet of the night, I would inexplicably think of him and miss him.
After graduating with my master's degree in 2005, I wanted to go to Beijing, to the city where he lived, so I applied for a doctoral program at Peking University Health Science Center. To bolster my courage, I contacted him to help me book accommodation. The thought of seeing his melancholic yet resolute face again filled me with excitement, but I was unexpectedly met with a bucket of cold water. That bastard told me he had asked his wife to book the room for me! What did that mean?! So heartless! I hated him. Later, after arriving in Beijing, I didn't contact him. My exam results weren't good, and I was in a bad mood, so I returned to Wuhan afterward. Afterward, I regretted apologizing to him on QQ, but he seemed indifferent. Oh well, I should blame myself for being so pathetic as to contact him in the first place.
I didn't get into the doctoral program, but I was accepted by XX Hospital in Beijing, and by some twist of fate, we ended up in the same city. Now I have a husband, a civil servant. We were introduced by someone; he seemed like a good person, had a stable job, and I was getting on in years, so we got married. I didn't even tell him about the wedding! Actually, I know that the deeper the hatred, the deeper the love. Luckily, I gave birth to Duoduo last year, and the busy care for the child gradually pushed him out of my life.
Lost in thought on my end of the phone, the other end spoke again, "How about this, when are you free? I'd like to come over for lunch and have a good chat. How about tomorrow? You work at XX Hospital, right? I'll come see you at noon. It's settled then, I'll call you when I get there tomorrow. Bye." Before I could even say anything, he hung up, and my thoughts began to wander, a turbulent storm brewing.
The next day, close to midnight, I received his call saying he was already at the hospital entrance. I quickly changed my clothes and came out, wondering what he looked like. Sure enough, there was someone standing quietly facing the road at the hospital entrance. It was definitely him. My heart suddenly started racing. When I got to him, his eyes lit up when he saw me, and he said happily, "Long time no see! You're still so beautiful!" I felt a sweet warmth in my heart. Since having a child, I hadn't paid much attention to my appearance or dress. He hadn't changed much; he was still a bit thin, more mature, and I could still see that determination in his eyes.
We found a Hong Kong-style tea restaurant nearby, chose a window seat, and started chatting. We talked about everything—children, parents, jobs, housing prices, cars—it didn't feel unfamiliar at all. Strangely enough, all my hatred for him vanished.
He suddenly said to me, "FF, actually, I came to you this time to ask you for a favor?" I wondered to myself, could it be that his father was unwell and needed to come to our hospital for a visit? But it turned out to be completely different!
"I've been deliberately trying to forget you all these years. Even knowing my dad had your contact information, I restrained myself from contacting you. I believe you know why. My life is happy, and I believe you are too. So not contacting you is the right choice for both of us." What he said made sense, and I nodded.
"But I still can't forget you. I often dream about you, and each dream has a sad story. After waking up, I can't shake off the sadness. I don't know what's wrong with me; I can't control it at all. I feel like it's a knot in my heart, so I came to find you." "Me?...How can I help you?!" I suddenly tensed up. I hadn't expected him to still have feelings for me. I was both happy and worried; this meeting might go wrong.
”我想，额…“他犹豫了一下，然后突然问我”你喜欢过我吗？“天啦！他果然又要提感情的事，怎么办？！我赶紧避开他的眼神。”没关系，喜欢过就是喜欢过，没喜欢过就是没喜欢过，咱们也不是小孩子了，没必要藏着掖着“，也对，喜欢过就喜欢过，有什么不好意思承认的。当年没有来得及表达自己的心意以至于失去了他。于是我微微点了点头，却还是不敢看他的眼神。
”ff，我想让你给我做半天女朋友！就半天！“啊？！万万没想到他会提这种要求！现在我们都有家室，为人父母，怎么能这样？见我的反应，他赶紧解释了一下。
”我只是想感受一下和你两情相悦的感觉，感受一下拥有你的感觉，这样就不会再痴心妄想了。“他的语气很温柔很诚挚，都是肺腑之言。我有些动摇了，我何尝没有想过，错过了当年我曾经后悔得肝肠寸断，现在他再给我一个机会，我还要再错过吗？他伸出手来握住我放在桌上的手，他的手有些凉，但是很有力，给了我些勇气，我没有动，任他这么握着。
”就今天下午，从现在开始！“他高兴地宣布，让我很不好意思。
他起身坐到我身边，抓过我的另一支手来紧紧握住，双手非常有力，让人安心。他又挪了挪更靠近我，把我拉过去正好偎依在他怀里。我有些不好意思，但是也没有抵抗的力量。这么软软地靠在他怀里真温暖，我能感觉到他咚咚的心跳非常有力，顿时觉得很幸福。
一会儿，我忍不住问他：”咱们要在这坐一下午吗？“”如果你愿意坐我们就坐，不愿意我们就去你想去的地方做你想做的事情“”那怎么行？“”不是要治你的心病么？当然是去你想去的地方做你想做的事啊“我一边摸着他的手摩挲着，感觉像初恋一样的心动。
”是吗？我还没想好。要不这么着吧，你亲我一下，我就知道去哪儿了。“他说”切！“真是厚脸皮这么快就要我亲他。
”怎么？你现在是我的女朋友，亲我一下有什么啊？“”反正我不亲“我才不好意思呢，这儿人这么多。
”那只有我亲你了“我还来得及反应，他已经低下头来轻轻亲了一下我的脸，”你…“我又羞又急，话还没说完，嘴已经又被他封上了，一股暖流穿过身体，我软软的失去了挣扎了的力量。他并没有强吻我，却松开捧起我的脸，面带笑容，眼神非常的温柔。多年前的感情突然从胸口迸发出来，我只想告诉他我也爱他。他又再次抱紧了我，我们把头靠在彼此肩头上。我很陶醉在这拥抱中，再也不在乎周围是否有人在看。
片刻后，他招呼服务员过来买单。我突然想起下午还要上班，赶紧给同事打个电话帮我顶一下，反正今天事情不多。出了楼座，外面冷风四起，我突然从刚才的温存中跌落到了现实。我这是在干什么啊？！突然觉得很荒唐，都是有家有口的我们这是在干嘛？！如果不是他一直牵着我的手，我可能转身就跑了。”咱们就去个安静的二人世界吧“他说，然后拉着我过街。我此时已经心乱如麻了，不知道自己在做什么，凭着他拉着我。
他居然把我带到了xx酒店门口，难道他要…？！我简直都不敢想，那一刻我很害怕很想退缩。但是他搂着我进了门。我突然绝望地意识到已经没有回头路了，只是紧紧抓住他有力的手以支持自己心里的软弱。终于进了电梯，天啦，我受不了那个前台服务员看我的眼神。他把我再次搂在怀里，”宝贝儿，不要怕，有我在。我爱你！“他轻吻我的头发，我这才慢慢平静下来。
进了房间昏昏暗暗的，有点冷清，一个电视，一张桌子，一张大床，卫生间，房间里还算是收拾得挺干净的。感觉腿有点软，我在床沿上坐下。估计是面色不太好，他关切地看着我。”这拉着个苦瓜脸可是治不好病的哦“肩头被他撞了一下，他戏谑我。我想笑，忍住了。亏得他还有心情开玩笑，也撞了撞他。他躺下来，长长舒了一口气。突然我腰间一痒，这个讨厌鬼！”唉，这里什么都没有，你说咱们做点什么呢？“他故意问我，男人最坏！开了房间了还能干什么，谁都知道。”你还说，把人家骗到这来…“”哈，你这么好骗啊，有什么办法…“他更乐了。你这个坏家伙，还这么说？！”真够讨厌的！他突然一把搂住我侧躺了下来，面对面四目相对。“你不是说这是我的半天，我想去哪想干什么都行吗？这儿就是我想来的地方啊。”我心想你们男人满脑子就只想这个，就不能想点浪漫的事情吗？
他又接着说：“再说这里有什么不好？清清静静的二人世界，你只属于我，我也只属于你”说着说着，话语不觉温柔下来。是啊，说得真好！二人世界，没有人打扰我们，我又回到那时候成了爱着他的女孩，而他又回到过去成了那个一直追求我的男孩子。有什么不好呢？
突然的安静带来一种暧昧的气氛，他的眼神更温柔了，满含深情地看着我，我都快要被他的眼神融化了。他慢慢将嘴唇凑近来亲我，我闭上眼默默等待着。当嘴唇贴在一起时，我浑身一阵战栗。他是那么温柔，含着我的嘴唇轻轻吸咬着，蠕动着。我也回应着他，他的嘴唇也软软的滑滑的。他稍稍调整了一下角度，用他的舌头舔我的嘴唇，麻麻的感觉。然后他的舌头钻过来碰到了我的牙齿，在上唇，下唇，牙齿间游弋，偶尔还用牙咬咬我的唇，非常舒服。我感觉一阵温暖从唇齿间向下流窜，延伸到了乳房和下身，感觉下身有些温热。
于是我也吐出了舌头去碰触他的舌头，交织着，彼此缠绕着，用牙轻咬着，细细吸吮着。他甚至将舌尖伸进来很深，碰触到我的口腔上颚，越来越温暖，禁不住有些气喘发烧。他的右手绕过我的脖子抚摸着我的头发，动作非常轻柔，左手放在我胸脯隔着衣服按压揉捏起我的乳房起来。每一次揉捏都非常舒服，乳房也非常渴望得到他更有力的绕捏。陶醉着，下身便有些温暖得痒痒了，感觉已经情不自禁流了不少爱液，估计都湿了。
突然他停止了动作，对我说：“宝贝，咱们去洗个澡吧？”，幸福戛然而止，真让人懊恼，又不好意思说。不过他说的对，洗澡了爱爱更干净，亏他这么细心。老公却不这样，想要了就扒了裤子插，才不管这些。有时候臭哄哄的还要我给他吃，真是恶心死了。不想了不想了！
面对他我不好意思脱衣服，我还从来没有在老公之外的第二个男人面前脱过衣服。突然意识到我和他虽然都爱着彼此，却又是那么的陌生。正纠结时，他上前来吻我，在我耳边轻轻说：“我帮你脱衣服吧”。这样就不会太尴尬了吧，真是贴心的男人！心里不由得为他的体贴感动。
我们亲吻着，他则一边脱我的衣服，上衣脱完后，他停下来说“让我好好看看你”“不要看，我太胖了” 。
我挺不好意思的，说实话我以前身材还可以的，有腰有屁股的，胸不是太大但也绝不是旺仔小馒头。怀孕期间胖了不少，生完孩子到现在虽然恢复得七七八八，但是腰身、胳膊和大腿还是多了些肉。不过胸部却因为哺乳大了不少，只是现在断奶后有些下垂。于是我赶紧用手遮住胸部“别这样死盯着，怪不好意思的”“谁叫她那么好看呢，让我多看看，我还要亲她呢”他挪开我的手，用手托起乳房，乳头正硬硬地凸起着，羞死人了，都是刚才亲吻的结果。他凑过来用嘴轻轻叼住我的发硬的乳头，用他的温暖的舌头拨弄和舔了起来，好痒！我打了他一下，向后跳开。乳房跳动得像兔子一样。他故意用舌头舔了舔嘴唇“嗯，真是美味啊~还要吃”，真够讨厌的，心里却很甜蜜。
然后他又靠近来要脱我的裤子，我赶紧后退了一步。“我自己来，不要你来了。你太坏了。”好好，我不来了，你自己脱，我就在这看，我倒是乐意呢“他双手交叉，一副看戏不怕台高的样子。”真讨厌！“我又羞又气。结果正要脱裤子，他走过来正面蹲下来看。我就不动了，赌气地看着他。也好笑，自己还跟小姑娘似的。”好好好，我不看，你脱吧“等他转过身去我才开始脱，刚把裤子脱了他就突然转身过来。不由嗔道：”你赖皮！“”我就是赖皮，呵呵“。他走过来跪在我腿间，把头埋在我的腰间，那是我怀朵朵的地方。他靠在那里，挺温暖的，倒是让我想起了怀宝宝的日子。他摸着我的腿，没有侵犯我的三角短裤，反正挺舒服，便任由他摸着。摸着摸着突然发现他竟然抽泣起来，这可是我压根儿没料到的。男儿有泪不轻弹，刚刚还脸皮涎涎的和我开玩笑，怎么突然哭起来了，一时不知所措。
我突然想起他一直和我说他童年一直缺少母爱，因为喜欢着我而支持着童年的梦想，我曾给予他的关心和理解被他当做至宝收藏在心间，我想那是种对母爱的渴望吧。他一定是心有感触情至伤心处。于是爱怜之心顿生，把手放在他头上轻轻抚摸着他。他是个坚强的孩子，在缺少爱的环境中长大，刻苦学习，孤身来到北京奋斗，身上有种坚韧不拔的气质让我很钦佩，但是再坚强的男人也有脆弱的一面啊。
片刻后他从伤心中走出，不过还是有些忧郁。他让我先去洗澡，我亲了他一下，确定他没事才离开去卫生间冲澡。一边冲澡，我一边想着刚才的那一幕，想着怎么抚慰他。同时也对自己略微发胖的身体不满意，该减肥了。他推开门，没有进来，笑眯眯地盯着我看，好像已经摆脱了刚才的情绪。我招呼他赶紧过来，”别傻看了，快过来，不怕着凉！“他洗澡时我偷偷地瞟他的身体，像他那样直勾勾地盯着我的身体看我可是做不到。他略瘦，不过肌肉很结实，身上没有什么赘肉，连啤酒肚都没有，不由得想起了老公的大肚腩。他的阳根正傲然地挺立着，正对着我，阴茎头张开着像是愤怒的望着我一样。他的阳具怎么这么好看，不光好看也很雄壮挺拔，却不好意思细看，老公的那个黑家伙真是狰狞可怕，看起来就有点不太悦目。他似乎若有所思，我想或许他在想怎么占有我吧，要不小弟弟怎么这么昂扬着！
”想什么呢？“我便故意问他
”哦，没什么“他上前抱住我狠狠地亲了一口”谢谢你陪我！宝贝“看来是我想错了，不由得为自己的骚情有点害臊。
”我来帮你擦“我刚洗完，他就拿来了浴巾。我便任由他给我擦身体。他非常温柔，从头发开始细致地擦干。擦到乳房时，突然含着乳头吮了吮，还叼着乳头不怀好意地冲我抛媚眼。我赶紧敲了一下他的脑袋，他就老实了。
然后他开始给我擦下身，我有些紧张，因为腰上还有些赘肉，还有腹部肚皮上怀宝宝留下的妊娠纹。还有我的私处，还从来没有给他看过，挺羞人的。他从我的阴毛丛中亲过去，向下移到了我的阴户处，仔细看了一会儿然后亲了一下，我其实蛮希望他多亲几下的，但是不敢表现出来怕给他淫荡的印象，他又故意伸出舌头去舔我的阴唇，我害羞得不行，推开他跑了出来。
等他追我出来，我们马上就迫不及待地抱着亲吻在一起了。我们再次吸着咬着对方的嘴唇，伸出舌头去触碰，缠绕…他搂着我把我慢慢放在床上，自己则斜躺在侧面一些。一边亲着我，一边用手轻柔地抚摸我的乳房，用拇指和食指轻轻按压乳头，时而轻挤，时而绕圈。乳头就又不争气地兴奋着挺立起来，更硬了，也更痒了，痒痒的感觉从胸部传到下体，感觉有爱液分泌出来。
他开始亲吻我眼睛、鼻子、脸，然后转到侧面吻我的耳垂，轻咬着，痒痒的非常舒服。突然他向我耳朵轻轻吹了一口气让我浑身一个激灵”宝贝，你就这样闭着眼睛好好享受吧“。于是我安心地闭上眼，静静感受他的抚摸、亲吻和身体各处麻麻痒痒的温暖感。当他顶着我的脖子亲我的脖子的时候，感觉呼吸有些不畅，但是既兴奋又刺激。
他温暖的唇舌移向了我的乳房，乳头突然被他温热的嘴唇包裹住，然后乳尖各处被他的舌尖舔着绕着，舒服感一阵一阵地传来。左乳仍然在被他的手揉捏着，一阵阵舒服的压迫感传遍全身。我陶醉在这幸福中，下体的爱液一阵阵分泌，感觉都渗出来了。双腿无力地扭动着，渴望夹住什么东西。
他的右手离开了乳房向下抚摩，穿过阴毛时他用手指绕着阴毛打着小卷。然后移到我的大腿内侧上下抚摸，这时我的舒服感已经向下转移到了阴部，感觉阴道里面痒痒的舒服着，爱液便不知羞耻地分泌着，而阴蒂处也明显肿胀充血，渴望得到抚摸、亲吻。但是这个讨厌的家伙却迟迟在那慢慢抚摩，急死人了，我却不好意思开口，腿和腰不由自主的扭动着，嘴里也忍不住开始呻吟了。
感觉到他的手指触碰到了我的阴唇，非常敏感的触感，然后在我那呼呼冒着淫水的阴道口摸了摸就向上走，触摸到我的阴蒂那一刻，跟触电了一般，一股兴奋从阴蒂尖传遍全身，忍不住啊地大声叫了出来。他继续抚摸我的阴蒂，我多么渴望他那雄伟端庄的小弟现在能够插入我那痒痒的阴道中啊。这个可恶的家伙把一条腿搁在了我双腿之间，这样，我得到至宝一般夹紧了双腿。心里在想，你还要折磨我多久啊？可是我不好意思开口，他肯定会笑我的。
他又调整了姿势，但却不是我期待着的插入，而是一路从乳房吻到私处，他的舌头从外阴慢慢舔到内侧，在阴道口转了转，然后沿着我的肉瓣而一路向上。当他温暖圆滑的唇包裹住我的阴蒂时，我又一次体会到了酥麻的感觉。他却不放过我，一边伸出舌头来舔阴蒂头，阴蒂周围的细肉，一会儿吮吸，一会儿轻轻按压，一阵阵的刺激源源不断，而阴道深处却更饥渴难耐了，痒得难受。我的爱人啊，赶紧插入我吧。此时我的神经高度集中在下身的阴蒂和阴道上，浑身烧得难受，迷迷糊糊的。
还好，可恶的他并没有无休止得折磨我，我感觉到阴道口得到了安慰，他把手指插入了我的阴道，多少给瘙痒难忍的阴道一些安慰，同时他的嘴和舌仍然节奏地吮舔我的阴蒂，让我里外都得到刺激。感觉到他的手指在我的阴道口缓缓进出，我则尽力收缩阴道去夹它。后来感觉阴道口更充实了，他用了两个手指，而且已经慢慢深入到了阴道深处。突然感觉到阴道深处的一阵酥麻感，浑身舒服得一阵战栗，他的手指碰触到了一处敏感的所在，应该就是传说中的g点区吧，他在那轻轻地按压着，时而用手指抽插进出，我的阴道深处的瘙痒感大大缓解，同时酥麻的感觉一浪接着一浪地涌向全身，一阵强过一阵。他把另一支手移到了我的小腹上，正在阴道深处手指的上方，轻轻的揉压，配合着阴道内手指的按压，舒服和兴奋的感觉越来越强烈。此刻我迷迷糊糊神情恍惚，沉醉在一波接一波的快感中，情不自禁地呻吟发泄体内的兴奋，下身也不由自主地配合着手指的进出和按压而扭动。快感越来越强烈，我感觉自己已经失控了，身体强烈紧绷，下体疯狂扭动。他似乎掌控着一切，无论是唇舌对阴蒂的继续刺激，还是小腹上手掌的按压，以及阴道内手指的抽插以及g点的按压都随着我的节奏逐渐加快。我只记得我终于全身神经系于下身，绷紧了身体，子宫和阴道强烈地收缩，无法抑制的快感从阴道内和阴蒂处扩散传遍全身，呼吸急促，爆发出了长而持久的呻吟，便脑子一片空白舒服得昏厥了过去。
他的唇舌和手还在继续动作，伴随着我高潮的节奏，让我达到了一个又一个更高的巅峰，直到阴道内部还余震似的轻微抽搐他才缓下来抽出了手指。我浑身瘫软在床上，一股温暖的感觉从下身扩散到全身，身体还在兴奋中，脸上烧得厉害，大口喘着粗气，神情恍惚着。他爬到我身边，欣赏着我面带红潮的样子，爱意十足地抱住我，亲吻我的唇、脸和耳垂。他的爱抚和轻吻让我的快感温顺地扩散，真的好体贴！我心里一阵感动。
”宝贝，舒服么？“我不好意思地钻到他怀中。”到底舒服不舒服嘛？“他一定是满脸坏笑地戏弄我。我用手掐了他的后背，点了点头。”那还要不要？“”讨厌！不理你了“我转过身去，跟他撒娇时感觉自己又回到了自己的少女时代。
他从后面搂住我，贴着我的后背，感觉非常温暖和安全。他的双手从我腋下穿过，一只手握着一只乳房轻轻揉着，我觉得很妥帖和舒服。感觉屁股那儿有个温暖的家伙慢慢硬起来了，我心里偷笑，我就让你这么硬着。意外的是他居然没有动，就这么抱着我躺着，我被他的温情感动，转过身来，亲了他一口，说”我来服侍你吧“他点点头，看起来很高兴。我也让他把眼睛闭住好好享受，其实我是不好意思让他看着。
说实话，服侍男人我真的没什么经验。老公是个不太有情调的人，我们并没有太多的感情基础，只是岁数到了经人介绍，接触了几次觉得条件和长相都还行便结了婚。婚后发现他并不浪漫，可能和政府部门的陈腐的气氛有关。刚结婚那会儿他对房事非常积极，隔三岔五就要来，每次都既毛糙又猴急，和我亲吻几下也就是走个形式，很急切就掏出他的肉棍子往我下面插，往往爱液不够插入生涩有些疼痛，说了他几次后他便学乖，每次抹了自己口水在棍子上再插入，样子挺不雅的。
最初他倒是常常弄些花样，不知道从哪而学来的。有时让我骑着他身上，坐在他肉棍上上上下下动，但是我觉得很快就累了，而且没什么快感，他倒是很容易就高潮射精了。有时他让我跪在床上面朝下背朝天撅着屁股他从后面来，这个姿势我倒是不累，但是却不是很舒服，有时阴道内还有些痛。有时他又让我侧身把一只腿扬起来，他半侧着身子从旁边来回抽插，我抬着腿也坚持不了多久。这么来来回回试了几回后，他觉得不太满意，就越来越少尝试了，还是让我躺着，他趴在身上肆意抽插来得比较惬意。
每次都是我躺在那任由他分开了腿，抹了口水就往里头插，也没什么技巧，就是来回哼哧哼哧地做活塞运动，时间长了我也有些感觉，抽插着也就有些爱液分泌出来，这样他就更爽快用力地更快地运动起来，等我被他抽插得舒服起来忍不住要呻吟时，他已经喘着粗气做了最后的冲锋缴械了。事后把我夸奖一番，亲两口草草擦了生殖器和排泄物就躺下了。留下我下身淌着爱液和他的精液，阴道内的瘙痒火热久久不能平息。
我曾问过他从哪儿学的这些个花样，他只说是看片子看的，我很好奇就让他给我看了一次，一个金发女人，嘴里、阴道和肛门同时被三个强壮的欧洲男人插着，让我吓了一跳，不过这种没有情节的场景我没什么兴趣，他又给我看了日本的，一堆电动玩具，各种凌辱让我很不愉悦。于是我便再也不看了，其实我反而喜欢韩国情色电影，往往能入戏，看完后有时下身都湿了挺想做爱，但是老公不爱看，嫌磨叽。所以婚后其实我几乎没有和老公做爱达到过高潮，但是我知道高潮是什么感觉，因为私下里我曾经自慰过，高潮来临时那紧绷的神经，那一脉一脉的阴道收缩和扩散的快感是多么的舒服啊，只可惜没有人压着我爱抚我。
怀上孩子之后，房事就少了，我也专心保养身体，老公曾经试着让我用手或嘴巴帮他解决性欲，但是试了几次后他再没找我了，说什么还不如自己撸，为此我们还闹了一阵子别扭。后来孩子生了，我天天忙着给孩子喂奶，哄睡觉，把屎把尿还要恢复身体，没有精力再应付老公，老公也睡了客厅的沙发，便几乎没有了房事。前一阵子，让妈妈把朵朵带回老家去，想着老公应该会再要我，却个把月才来了一次。他倒不像有了外遇的样子，但是似乎对我生完孩子后的身体性趣不高，让我苦恼不已。
现在想来，我一直都是被动被老公做，如果是主动我还真的不知道怎么做男人才会更舒服。想了想，老公曾经想让我用嘴给他吃，可能他也会喜欢吧。
于是我也模仿他刚才对我，从他的胸膛开始亲，然后去亲他的乳头。他的乳头很小，舔起来只是一个小突起而已。不过他似乎没什么反应，于是我便继续向下。
他的阴毛好多，浓密而杂乱，从肚脐处一直延伸到阴囊下方。此时他的阳具已经高高地挺起了，向肚脐的方向斜戳着，刚健有力的样子。他的阳具样子还蛮好看的，不像老公黑黑的那种，粗细倒是差不多，感觉比老公的要略修长一点，很好看。肉棒坚硬地挺立着，很难想象这是没有骨头的家伙。上面粗粗的血管围绕着，青筋毕露，看起来很辛苦的样子。而肉棒头上则是那个虎虎生威的家伙，扁圆形，红的发紫，涨得光滑发亮，顶端的尿眼红红的张开着，感觉霸气怒张，一副很生气的样子。越生气我越觉得可爱。
用手把肉棍子握住，真的是又硬又热，还用力跟我较劲，似乎更生气了，我想偷笑，就让你生气个够！我张开嘴唇包住了这个红紫色发亮的小钢炮头子，他更生气地跳动起来了，一抖一抖的。好啊，我让你不服。于是我就用嘴唇用力夹住它，然后伸出舌头去舔他头上的口，舔他光滑肿胀的头部，舔他下侧龟头系带的地方，舔它头部周围的沟子。它应该是高兴了吧，每次都会跳一跳，真是太可爱了。
舔了一会儿后，我用嘴紧紧含住它上下套弄起来，让龟头伸入口腔中，看的出来，这个动作让他很舒服，偶尔还会挺一下腰。而我则用那只闲着无聊的左手便去摸他下方那个软软耷拉着的袋子。
吃了一会儿，突然发现他撑起半坐了起来，想到自己现在含着他肉棒子的样子，觉得挺太难为情了。赶紧对他说”不许偷看“没想他我干脆坐直了身子，深情地看着我说”我每时每刻都想要看着你的样子，我怕下一刻就会梦醒“，真甜蜜的话，那我就让你看吧。我小声问他”你舒服吗？“我笑着用力地点头说”特别舒服！“我就放心了。于是我再次俯下身含住他的阴茎上下套弄起来，他轻轻拨开了我耳边垂下来的头发好看个清楚。看就看吧，我今天就是你的女人。
又上上下下吃了一会儿，我觉得嘴老是这么紧紧含着也累了，他的小弟弟还是神采奕奕的，一跳一跳跟我故意作对似的。难道是我吃的不舒服？正想着，他突然伸手捧住我的脸，拉我靠在他胸前，亲吻我的嘴唇。”是我弄得不舒服吗？“我对自己好失望，他摇摇头，抚摸着我的脸庞和头发”很舒服，傻孩子。我已经很舒服了，你辛苦了，换我来。“既温柔又体贴。他再次把我放倒在床上，然后细细地从上看到下，不放过我身体的每一个部位似的。我也不再害臊了，就由着他看，只要他喜欢看就好。
他轻轻分开我的双腿，跪在双腿之间，这样我的阴户就一览无余地呈现在他眼前了。刚才的高潮已经平息，我担心现在下身没有足够的爱液让他顺利进入我的身体。还好，他并没有急着插入，而是俯下身来趴在我身上，硬硬的肉棒子紧贴着我的阴户顶着。我顿时觉得好充实。我又开始亲吻我，唇、舌、颈、耳垂，手也在我身上抚摸，脸庞、肩膀、乳房、乳头、腰和臀处。同时下身硬邦邦的肉棒子也在用力地顶压我隆起的阴户，我的身体开始慢慢苏醒，酥麻感和温热感开始缓缓流窜。
一会儿后，他用手指在我的下体摸了一下，摸到了分泌出来的爱液。于是他便弓起身来，捏住肿胀坚硬的老二，将肉头在阴道口出的爱液中磨了几下，沾了足够的爱液之后，将它顶到了阴道口上。此时我的下身又感觉到了肿胀瘙痒的感觉，渴望他的强势插入。
”宝贝儿，我要进去了哦“他说了一声，我也满怀渴望。感觉阴道口被强有力地挤占，顿时充实起来，于是也用力配合他收缩阴道口死死夹住它的肉棒。他并没有直接插到底，而是在洞口附近来回抽插了几回后才将肉棒一鼓作气插到了尽头，阴道里顿时充实了起来，我舒服得忍不住发出了啊的呻吟。
”怎么了？宝贝儿，弄疼了吗？“他明显是故意捉弄我，语气中带着戏谑。
”不是啦“
”那就是特别舒服喽？“
”讨厌鬼！“我忍不住又掐了他一下，心里却十分甜蜜。理想中的做爱就是这样啊，一边打情骂俏一边身体结合，多么美好！
他趴了一会儿没有动，我正纳闷时，他开口说”我只是想好好感受一下和你一体的感觉，真想就这样永远保持这样让时间停止。“说这话既多情又伤感我也不免受到感染。是啊，就这样我们结合在一起多么充实而温暖啊。
他开始动作起来，和老公不一样，他的节奏慢的多。他先在阴道口附近浅浅的来回做几次抽插，弄得阴道口有些挤涨，但是阴道深处却很空虚痒痒，然后他会突然全根尽入插到最深处，让我的深处也感到充实和舒服，在最深处，他会紧紧抵住我的阴户和阴蒂进行厮磨，这个动作让我非常舒服，整个阴户从内到外都得到了刺激，舒服传遍全身。而我则在这个位置，尽量抬起腰和臀部，以便让阴道深处的敏感区的到他龟头的爱抚，他也会适时地配合我做几次深度挤压。
正舒服的时候，他又突然抽出了肉棍，再次到阴道口做浅浅的抽插，急得我挺起腰来去迎合他，期待他再次插入到我的深处。真是个狡猾的家伙！正等得焦急时，他又如期而至了，阴道内外再次充实起来，酥麻起来。
这样来来回回几次之后，我已经舒服得的阴道里淫水泛滥了，兴奋的感觉越来越强烈，阴道深处的渴望越来越急迫，渴望更有力的抽插和抵压，因此要不情不自禁地扭动起来要尽力去迎合阴茎的插入，更深更有力。脑子里头兴奋得晕晕乎乎的，情不自禁的放声呻吟。他觉察到了我的兴奋和渴望，开始加大了插入的撞击力，加快了抽插的速度和压磨的频率，真是舒服得要死了。
我感觉高潮要再次来临了，他的一次比一次更有力跟快速的抽插撞击对阴蒂的挤压，对阴道口的拉扯，对阴道深处敏感区的厮磨让我再次不由自主地奔向了高潮的巅峰，这一次，比他用嘴的那次还要强烈和深沉。高潮到达时，我剧烈的腰臀运动突然静止在最深的姿态，然后从子宫和阴道深处开始剧烈的收缩，喉咙中抑制不住地发出了高亢的嘶喊。
而他则死命抵住我的阴户，在我剧烈收缩的阴道中更用力更疯狂的抽插，让我的高潮达到了极致，更高更持续，感觉阴道都被他插出了火花一样灼热，伴随着他发出”额~~“的低吼，他的肉棒子硬到了极致，然后也开始急剧地收缩，伴随着收缩一跳一跳地射出了他的宝贝，持续了好一会儿，而我的阴道深处，宫颈附近一阵温热。我也幸福到了极点。
他伏在我身上喘着粗气，汗水从额头上流下来，我能感受到他扑通扑通有力的心跳。我的高潮还没有完全消散，他压在我身上让我非常充实和温暖，于是我紧紧搂着他默默享受着这拥有他的幸福。他的肉棒还坚挺地在留在的阴道中，我顽皮的用力夹了夹，它不再跳动了，这个生气的家伙总算撒气了。
”宝贝儿，舒服吗？“他问我
我点了点头，不过浑身酸软无力，还是忍不住要夸奖他”你真棒！…从来都没这么舒服过！“
”那你高兴吗？“
”嗯“我肯定地点了点头”你真好！你真温柔！“我便紧紧地搂住他。前程往事浮现在心头，想到当初因为自己的懵懂无知从此与他天各一方形同陌路，我就不由得一阵阵心痛，我失去了他，我竟然失去了这么爱我疼我的他！忍不住鼻子一酸，泪流如注。
感觉到他温柔地亲吻我的双眼，舔去我的眼泪的。这温柔的举动反而让我更伤心，眼泪又不争气地流了出来。
”怎么啦，宝贝？有什么伤心事吗？“
”没有，不是…“这个傻瓜，什么都不懂！
”如果有什么委屈就告诉我，有什么不高兴的都告诉我“他还是那么温柔那么耐心，我实在不忍心伤他。
”没有，真的没有，我是…“我是幸福的眼泪，是的，虽然这幸福原本应该属于我，但是现在只是临时属于我。但是我真的在他身边感觉到了幸福”谢谢你！！！“他紧紧抱着我，使劲亲吻我。
”该说谢谢的是我啊，傻瓜！谢谢你让我真正拥有了你“是吗？到底是该我谢谢他还是他该谢谢我，我糊涂了。本来两情相悦的我们本应该谁也不用谢的，可现在…可这怪谁呢，命运就是让我们这样阴差阳错。这就是我们之间的宿命和缘分吗？他打算起身把变软的小弟弟拉出来，我却不愿意，我想永远这么躺在他的身下，让他紧紧抱着我亲我抚摸我爱我。我怎么变得这么贪婪？
”别，让它多待一会儿，就这样多待一会儿“
他便没再动，而是抱着我轻轻抚摸我的头发、眼睛和脸。我们四目相对微笑，陶醉在这安静的温情中，谁也没有再说话。
”宝贝，真对不起，只想着和你一起好便没有戴套也没有拿出来。回头我给你买点避孕药片吧？“我不禁想笑，都什么时候还想起这个来。赶紧安慰他道”不要紧，我会处理的“一会儿后，我们才爬起来清理现场，他的肉棒已经软下来蜷缩起来，软软的，头上还带着透明的涎液儿，看起来好可怜的样子，真想再亲亲它抚慰一下它。赶紧用纸擦掉了阴道口还在往外流的白色的精液。阴毛和阴部都红红的，都是他用力撞击的结果。床单也湿了一大片，我们俩相视而笑。
擦了身子之后，感觉身体有点冷，便盖了被子躺下，侧身面对面看着。我心里开始羡慕妒忌起她老婆，便问：她一定很幸福吧？”“额，还可以吧。”他的回答不痛不痒“你呢？”“我们也还好”我能怎么说呢，日子都是这么过着。“咱们不提别人，今天只有你和我，还记得吗？你是我的，我是你的，好吗？”
是啊，现在提这个破坏心情真没劲，我“嗯”了一声点头答应。心底却还是忍不住想他和他老婆感情怎么样呢？他房事要得多不多呢？每次房事他都用什么姿势呢？还是每次都像刚才对我那样？怎么尽想这个了，不由得有些害臊。口上却忍不住说。
“你真的好厉害！”
“没有啦，一般般吧”他末了又补了一句“只要你舒服就好”
“很舒服，很久没这样了，真的！”我说的是真话，唉，老公这辈子可能都不会让我这样欲仙欲死地达到高潮的。
“我理解”他抚摸着我的头。“爱情都会归于平淡的啊”
“那你说如果当初你要是娶了我，咱们也会归于平淡么？”问完有些后悔，我怎么像小女孩一样傻了。爱情当然不会永远那么浓烈，迟早会被生活琐事冲淡。
“是啊，小傻瓜。再浓厚的爱情也会被生活和时间冲淡”
这是个多么伤感的话题啊，我们女人都幻想着爱情永远那么炙热浓烈，但是现实是不可能的。
“不要多想了，重要的是此时此刻我们拥有彼此。好不好？”
对，重要的是现在我拥有他，我点了点头，挤进他温暖的臂弯中。
我们便不再说话，双手时而紧扣在一起，时而分开轻轻抚摸对方，不知觉中竟睡着了。
等我醒来，他正安静地睡着，鼻息均匀，看来睡得正香。我便细细地看他，他的面容比以前更有了轮廓，看起来更成熟了。胡子也密密匝匝的，粗粗的。头发没有以前那么长那么厚了，可能也是操心的吧。眼角处和额头仔细看也有了轻微的皱纹，唉，毕竟我们都三十多了啊。岁月不饶人，女人过了三十老得最快，再过几年，我不知道会怎么变丑变老呢。不知道那时候他还会说我漂亮吗？幸好现在给他的身体还不算太老…我就这样思绪万千，突然发现他眼皮动了几下，然后睁开了眼。
“你醒啦？”我问
“还好你没走，要不我该又以为做了一场春梦呢！来，我确认一下”他笑嘻嘻地拉我过去亲了一口。
“你没睡吗？”他问
“睡了，不过一会儿就醒了。…我一直在看你，你睡得真沉，眼皮都不动一下”
“是啊，我们男人就是这样嘛，运动太激烈啦”
"Ugh! You're so indecent!"
"That's what you call being improper!"
He suddenly reached out and grabbed one of my breasts, squeezing it tightly. His other hand reached out to touch my lower body, and I quickly dodged away.
"You're energetic again?" I asked deliberately, provoking him.
"You little vixen, I'll teach you a lesson!" He pounced on me fiercely, and I was pinned down.
"I'm not that great. I wanted to come, but my little brother wouldn't allow it," he said, pointing to his limp little brother. I couldn't help but laugh; the little brother looked so pitiful.
"Shall we take a shower?" he said, glancing at his watch. Yes, we were covered in sweat and discharge; we needed to wash up. We both went into the bathroom naked.
There was only one showerhead, so we took turns washing ourselves. I dried him, and he dried me. As we were drying, I suddenly noticed his little brother wobbling and standing up again, starting to swell. It was so cute! I grinned and grabbed it, watching it throb again, veins bulging, the purplish-red glans shining. "So funny, so cute! Haha!"
"It's so pretty and white!" I couldn't help but praise it again; it's much prettier than my husband's. I squatted down to admire and caress it closely. "Do you like it?" "Mmm." I couldn't resist taking it into my mouth again. I gripped his penis tightly with one hand and sucked on the glans, starting to stroke it back and forth. He took off the showerhead and occasionally rinsed my undershirt with it—so considerate! "Baby, are you going to finish it off?" "Mmm." I didn't stop for a moment; I wanted to tease this angry guy. "Then you'll probably be taking half an hour." "Huh? I don't believe it!" Was he trying to scare me?! I'd probably have a cramped mouth after half an hour. "Try it if you don't believe me," he said smugly. "Anyway, I feel great." "Hmph, I don't believe it." He was definitely faking it. I thought to myself and continued to suck and stroke it. Soon enough, he still showed no signs of finishing, and I started to feel discouraged. "You little rascal, why don't you use your hand to help? That'll be faster." I felt both ashamed and angry. How embarrassing! Why not give it a try? I tried stroking my penis with my hand, following the rhythm of my mouth. Would that feel better? I wondered to myself.
He hadn't lied to me after all. A little while later, he suddenly said to her...
"Baby, I'm almost done, don't stop, hold tighter." I quickly gripped tighter and continued to stroke back and forth forcefully.
"Can I...be inside you?" He suddenly threw down the showerhead, grabbed my head tightly with both hands, and began thrusting into my mouth. I was caught off guard, but I had to hold on, so I held him tightly with my lips. He thrust faster and deeper, almost to my throat, and I almost felt like vomiting. Suddenly, I felt his penis harden even more, and he thrust even harder. Then he paused, let out a gasp, and something rushed up my throat, almost making me cough. Luckily, most of it ended up on my lips, warm, slippery, and slightly fishy.
I quickly spat it onto my hands; it was a grayish-white, tangled mess. I pinched it between my fingers; it was sticky, slippery, and stringy. "Wash it off, you're dirty, silly girl!" I stuck my tongue out at him, letting him rinse the strands of semen off my hands with the showerhead. Then he pulled me up and rinsed me with hot water, saying, "Don't catch a cold!" Finally, he pulled me to his chest and hugged me tightly, and I quietly nestled on his shoulder, hugging him back tightly. Making him happy made me truly happy; his happiness made me happy too. I don't know why, but I was so willing to be his woman.
After drying me off, he said, "Do you want me to serve you with my mouth again, baby? I'm afraid he won't be able to stand up anytime soon." He pointed to his poor little brother, which had drooped down again.
"No need, I've already satisfied myself," I said. "I just wanted to serve you well this once." This was what I truly felt. I wanted to be his woman, to serve him well, to make him comfortable and happy. But… I dared not think about that "but," that heartbreaking "but."
We silently got dressed, and as the moment of parting drew closer, I suddenly had an urge to turn back time. He hugged me again, so tightly I could hardly breathe, so reluctant to let go.
“Baby, thank you for this half-day, thank you for fulfilling my dream, thank you for making me whole, thank you for your love, thank you!!!” His voice was a little hoarse, and he choked up after speaking.
I felt the same way, and I also want to thank him for giving me this opportunity.
"Don't say that, I'm very happy and joyful too!"
He gripped my hand, closed the door, and came downstairs, no longer bothered by the strange looks from the receptionist. As we checked out and left the hotel, the cold wind at the door intensified the sadness and desolation of our parting. He embraced me again in front of everyone at the door, and tears welled up uncontrollably. The scene was heartbreaking.
Finally, we calmed down a bit. It was getting late, and I decided to go straight home. We went into the CY Gate subway station together, holding each other without saying a word. Saying anything would only hurt, and even a glance would pierce my heart. He went south, and I went north. We waited for three trains, neither of us wanting to go first. In the end, he practically pushed me onto the subway, whispering in my ear, "You must be happy!!!" Watching the subway doors slowly close, my heart ached, and tears streamed down my face. Had I lost him again? Forever? My vision blurred with tears as I watched his figure disappear into the crowd behind the train.
Amidst the astonished gazes of those around me, I slowly wiped away my tears, still unable to hold back my sobs. It all felt like a dream, but the dream was so real, so heartbreaking. Did I really ever have him? I couldn't help but reach out and sniff my hand. Was his scent still on my hand? It seemed so, yet so not; I just stood there, stunned, my heart breaking.
【over】
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