An older man's confession: My love affair with a beautiful Arab woman (19-20)

page views:1 Publication date:2023-07-17

19.
October 4th was the Mid-Autumn Festival that year. My mother called me home for dinner. My brother, sister-in-law, and nephew were also going back, and the whole family gathered to make dumplings.
It was partly to celebrate the festival, and partly to see me off, as I was leaving for Morocco on October 7th.
My daughter, however, would be absent from this family gathering. She and Zhao Lin went to Mianyang with Zhao Lin's parents to celebrate with Zhao Lin's aunt. Zhao Lin's cousin, whom she treated like a younger brother, was her aunt's son.
I invited Aimeni to come home with me for the festival. She was initially hesitant. Firstly, I had only been divorced a few days prior, and bringing a woman home would undoubtedly make my parents suspicious. Secondly, she wasn't my girlfriend, nor was she related to my family, so attending such a family gathering seemed inappropriate.
I said, "You're usually a very cheerful and outgoing person. Why are you being so hesitant? Just because she's not my girlfriend, but just a friend of the opposite sex, doesn't mean she can't come home for dinner with me. My parents, brother, and sister-in-law are all from working-class backgrounds; they are simple-minded and don't have many rules. They will definitely welcome you."
Only then did Aimeni agree. I told my mom beforehand that I was bringing a colleague and friend home for dinner. She lives alone in Chengdu and has nowhere to go during the holiday. My friend has never eaten pork, so I asked my mom to prepare some ground beef. My mom readily agreed.
That day, at Amy's insistence, I accompanied her to buy gifts for my parents and then we went to my house.
When we arrived, my parents, brother, and sister-in-law were quite surprised that I had brought a young and beautiful woman home, and a foreign one at that. They had initially thought it was a man. However, they quickly adapted and warmly welcomed Amy.
After learning about Amy's background, my mom laughed and said, "Zhongyan said the guest doesn't eat pork and asked me to prepare some ground beef. I thought his colleague was Hui, but it turns out he's a foreign Muslim!"
Amy smiled and said, "Auntie, I'm sorry to have troubled you..."
My sister-in-law asked how we met. Amy said that due to work, we met on my first day in Morocco and became good colleagues and friends afterward.
My brother was quite surprised, saying, "Didn't Zhongyan go to Africa?" How come this girl is so fair-skinned, even fairer than many Chinese people? I explained to my brother that although Morocco is located in Africa, it's a North African country with a predominantly Arab population, making it a predominantly white country. Furthermore, Amyne is of mixed Arab and Spanish descent,
so of course she's fair-skinned! The whole family was amazed by Amyne's fluent Chinese. She mentioned studying in Chengdu for four years and even spoke a few words of Chengdu dialect, which made everyone laugh… This allowed her to seamlessly integrate into our family gathering without seeming out of place. She even asked everyone to call her Xiao Ai, saying that's what all the Chinese people in the project team called her.
My mother quietly pulled me onto the balcony and asked what my relationship with Amyne was. Was my divorce from Zhao Lin because of her?
I said we were just colleagues and friends. She took good care of me in Morocco. When Zhao Lin took Amyne to visit relatives in Morocco, they even lent us their house to stay in, so it was only polite for her to treat them to a meal when she came to China.
“Zhongyan, don’t hide it from me. After all, you and Zhao Lin just got divorced, and you brought a girl home for dinner right after. It won’t sound good if word gets out… Also, what will Zhao Lin’s parents think if they find out? How will your dad and I face them? After all, we’re in-laws.”
My mom was still a little worried, so I explained it to her again, and she finally calmed down. She said that since that was the case, we had to treat them well.
My sister-in-law prepared both kinds of meat fillings, and the whole family happily started making dumplings. Aimeni joined us. My brother was in charge of rolling out the wrappers, my dad, my mom, and my nephew made the pork dumplings, and Aimeni, my sister-in-law, and I made the beef dumplings. We chatted and laughed, having a great time.
When cooking the dumplings, we cooked them in two separate pots, making sure that none of the dumplings Aimeni ate had any pork smell. All the side dishes also contained nothing related to pork.
Soon, the steaming dumplings were on the table, and everyone sat around. My brother poured wine for my dad and him and asked me if I wanted some. I said I had to drive Aimeni back to her hotel after dinner, so I wouldn't drink anymore.
Aimeni ate her delicious dumplings while chatting and laughing with everyone. She was not only beautiful, but also poised and articulate. My family called her "Little Aimeni" all the time; it was clear they all liked this foreign woman.
That evening, when I took Aimeni back to her hotel, she said, "Your family is so nice. Men and women all sit together to eat, and they're all very equal. Even your father and brother are very considerate of your mother and sister-in-law."
I laughed and said, "We Sichuan people tend to be henpecked!" Amy asked, puzzled, "Zhongyan, I know what 'Pa Erduo' means, it's one of those small tricycles that carry people, right? I used to see them a lot in Chengdu. Does that have anything to do with what we're talking about?"
I laughed, "Even though you lived in Chengdu for a few years, you're still a foreigner at heart. 'Pa Erduo' is a Sichuan dialect term meaning a husband who is afraid of his wife. Why is that kind of family tricycle called 'Pa Erduo'? Because the husband pedals hard in front while the wife and children sit comfortably in the back, hence the name—it's a vivid metaphor, isn't it? But with the widespread use of private cars, you hardly see 'Pa Erduo' in Chengdu anymore these days."
Amy suddenly understood and laughed, "Oh, I see." "So, I was quite puzzled back then, wondering why she had such a name. Now that you explain it, it's really vivid and interesting. But then again, whether it's a husband being afraid of his wife or a husband riding a bike with his wife and kids, it all feels quite heartwarming. In China, especially in Sichuan, women are quite fortunate."
She paused, a hint of jealousy in her eyes, "It's completely different in Morocco. Even at home, women can't sit at the same table as men; they have to eat separately. From a young age, I ate with my two mothers, my sister, and my grandmother, and with my father, my grandfather, and my brothers. We women even had to serve those men..."
“The men in my family, including my brothers, have never lifted a finger to help with household chores since I was little. The women in the family have always taken care of them. When I’m home, I not only have to help take care of my grandfather and father, but also my brothers…”
Amy sighed. “That’s how it is for women in Morocco. Before marriage, they serve their fathers and brothers; after marriage, they serve their husbands and sons; and even when they return to their parents’ home after marriage, they still have to serve the men in their parents’ family. It’s not that I don’t want to serve the men in my family—I love them very much—but I feel it’s so unfair to women. That’s why China is so much better.”
Listening to her words, I couldn’t help but sigh. Even in relatively civilized Islamic countries like North Africa, this is the case; it shows how low the status of women is in less civilized Islamic countries.
At the same time, I was also impressed. Amy is truly a woman among women. She is beautiful and intelligent, loyal and righteous, an independent career woman, and possesses feminine virtues, even more forbearing than the average Chinese woman. The man who marries her will be truly blessed.
On the morning of October 7th, Amy and I set off for Morocco. We had purchased connecting flights, first flying to Shanghai for a layover, then heading west to Brussels, the capital of Belgium, before transferring again and flying south to our final destination, Rabat.
At 5:00 AM Beijing time on October 8th (11:00 PM local time in Belgium on October 7th), our flight landed at Brussels International Airport. Our
next flight was scheduled to depart at 8:00 AM local time in Belgium, meaning we would have to wait at the airport for nine hours. Since we didn't have Schengen visas, we couldn't clear customs and had to wait in the departure lounge. Fortunately, our luggage was checked through, saving us the trouble of retrieving and re-checking it.
Amy and I went to a café in the departure lounge to kill time and charge our phones.
The café was full of transit and waiting passengers of all skin colors, including Chinese people. We could hear conversations in French from time to time; Belgium is a French-speaking country, and many North Africans transit through there.
Amy was organizing data on her laptop, a task assigned to her by the North Africa office, to be used on October 9th after the National Day holiday. That year, because the Mid-Autumn Festival fell during the National Day holiday, there was an extra day off compared to previous years, from October 1st to October 8th, and the North Africa office followed the domestic holiday schedule.
Amy asked me some technical questions, so I sat down next to her and explained. Just then, a voice caught my attention. It was a young couple who looked Chinese, talking to a café server, speaking only English. The café was full of people waiting for their flights, seemingly without any seats available.
The young woman was Li Meishan. Her beautiful face, tall and graceful figure, and fashionable clothes attracted the attention of many people of different nationalities in the café.
She wore a black blazer, a black pleated skirt, flat-heeled strappy shoes, and a small backpack. Under the collar of her beige shirt, a dark blue silk scarf was tied like a man's tie.
She was nineteen that year. Her purity and beauty were just as I remembered when I first met her, now with the added elegance and maturity of a college student.
I also noticed a tall young man in his early twenties standing next to Li Meishan. He was over 1.8 meters tall, wore glasses, and while not handsome, he was clean-cut and refined. Judging from his clothes and demeanor, he seemed well-educated and from a wealthy family.
I was overwhelmed with emotion at this unexpected encounter with Li Meishan. How could she be here? And who was that young man? Memories flooded back.

20.
Just then, a Chinese man nearby stood up and said to Li Meishan, "Beautiful ladies, please sit here. I'm leaving."
As he walked out of the cafe, Li Meishan and the young man quickly thanked him for offering them their seats. Li Meishan even gave him a slight bow, appearing very polite and well-mannered.
As they walked towards their seats, Li Meishan suddenly saw me. Her gaze froze, and she slowed her pace. She glanced at Amy, who was engrossed in her laptop beside me. A hint of sorrow and melancholy flashed in her eyes.
"Shanshan, come sit down..." The boy had already walked to the seats and beckoned to Li Meishan.
Li Meishan quickly looked away and went over to sit down with the boy. They ordered two coffees and two cakes, eating and chatting, their relationship seeming quite close. I wondered if that was her boyfriend? What were they doing in Europe, traveling or studying? Amy
asked me a question again. After I finished explaining, I couldn't help but look at Li Meishan and found her looking at us. When our eyes met, she immediately looked away.
I guessed that she might still resent me even now? That day when she stood downstairs looking at me, her sorrow and resentment were unforgettable, and every time I thought of it, my heart ached.
After Amy finished organizing her documents, she chatted with me for a few minutes. I said, "Let's go sit in the waiting area. Let's leave this space for other passengers who need it." Amy stood up, packed her things, and walked out with me, carrying her bag.
The boy was wearing headphones, looking at something on his tablet, occasionally chuckling softly. Li Meishan's gaze followed us out of the cafe.
Sitting in the waiting area, Amy fell asleep, but my mind was filled with Li Meishan's image, and I couldn't sleep.
I had a craving for a cigarette, but there was nowhere to smoke, so I got up and wandered around, eventually reaching the corridor. Outside the floor-to-ceiling glass walls, the tarmac was shrouded in night, with planes preparing to fly to or arrive from all over the world.
Suddenly, I saw Li Meishan standing there, gazing at the tarmac, her brows furrowed, seemingly lost in thought. Just as I hesitated whether to go over and greet her or quietly slip away, Li Meishan turned and saw me. Her gaze froze once more.
Meeting her gaze, I walked over, my thoughts drifting back to two years ago on campus, to the moment she walked towards me.
"Shanshan, are you alright?" I asked softly, feeling a sense of déjà vu yet also like it was just yesterday.
"I'm fine! How about you, Uncle?" Li Meishan smiled slightly. Her address of "Uncle" stirred my heart, a mix of emotions.
"I didn't expect to meet you here..." I said.
"Yes! What a coincidence..." She smiled at me, "Uncle, where are you going?"
I said I was transiting through Morocco; I was stationed there for a project, and the woman traveling with me was my colleague from Morocco. Li Meishan told me she was transiting through here to London.
When she spoke to me, there was an lingering melancholy in her eyes, which made my heart ache.
We chatted, like old friends who hadn't seen each other for years, harmonious yet serene. I felt as if there was a wall between us, a wall built by two years of time, a wall I had built myself back then. I couldn't help but feel sad and lost.
Li Meishan was a sophomore at Beijing Normal University, and this time she was going to the UK as an exchange student for a year. As I expected, the boy was her boyfriend. He had received an offer for a one-year postgraduate program at a British university, and they were going to study together.
I thought to myself, she should be with a boy like that; that's the kind of emotional home she deserves. But I didn't know whether to be happy for her or feel disappointed for myself.
I asked Li Meishan if the British university semester had just started. She said yes, each academic year in British universities is divided into three terms, the first term being the autumn term, which usually starts in mid-October.
"Shanshan, are you... really okay?" I couldn't help but ask.
She looked at me and smiled, "I'm great! You've seen it all, haven't you? I'm doing very well now, and my boyfriend is very good to me... Speaking of which, I have to thank you for this. If it weren't for that older man abandoning me, I wouldn't have met my current boyfriend, and I wouldn't have gone to study in the UK, would I?"
Her words, her gaze fixed on me, made me feel ashamed.
"How are you and your ex-wife doing now? By the way, you should have remarried her, right? Weren't all those things you did for your ex-wife?"
Tears welled up in Li Meishan's eyes, but she still smiled. I understand; she's never forgotten the past. Neither have I.
I told her that I did remarry my ex-wife back then, but we recently divorced again. She was surprised and asked me why. I smiled bitterly and said it was a long story, too complicated to explain in a few words.
"Perhaps, I shouldn't have remarried her at all. It hurt her, it hurt me, and it hurt..."
I trailed off, looking towards the tarmac. She looked towards the tarmac too, tears streaming down her face.
After a long silence, she wiped away her tears, turned to look at me, her eyes still brimming with tears, "Uncle, tell me, did you... ever love me back then?"
I looked at her and nodded firmly. Her tears rolled down her cheeks, "And now?"
I was speechless, turning my gaze back to the tarmac under the night sky.
"Uncle, do you still love me now?" Li Meishan's voice echoed in my ears again.
I suppressed my complicated emotions and said, "Shanshan, this is the life you deserve..."
"Uncle, why won't you answer me?"
Li Meishan was still crying, looking at me and saying, "Okay, if you won't say, I will. I... I still love you, Uncle, that's never changed."
At that moment, I really wanted to hold her in my arms and go back to the past.
I looked at her and murmured, "Shanshan, your boyfriend..."
She wiped away her tears and smiled. "I don't love him. He's just the one my mom wants me to be with and marry..."
She stared at me again, making it hard for me to look her in the eye. "Uncle, tell me! Answer me!"
I avoided her gaze, desperately trying to calm myself down. Her next words made my heart pound even harder.
"Uncle, you shouldn't be going back to China soon, right? I'm only studying in England for a year, and I won't be living with my boyfriend there... Uncle, are you listening to me? Can you look at me?"
"Shanshan..." I knew that with just one sentence, I could win back this girl that countless men dreamed of, and relive those dreamlike times with her.
I softly called her name and looked at her. A glimmer of hope appeared in her eyes.
"The woman who traveled with me, she's not only my colleague but also my girlfriend. We're planning to get married, and she even met my parents this time back in China..."
I managed to say these words with difficulty. I left her not only because of Zhao Lin, but also because of her mother and grandparents. I couldn't let her family, who loved her so deeply, fall into the same old worries and anxieties. So I had to use Aimeni as a cover.
The glimmer of hope in Li Meishan's eyes vanished in an instant, replaced by endless despair. Tears welled in her eyes as she looked at the tarmac, wiped away the tears, and turned to me with a smile: "Really? She's beautiful. Congratulations."
She took the crystal necklace I had given her off her neck and placed it in my hand. Only then did I realize that she had been wearing it ever since I sent it back to her before I left the country.
Pain and reluctance surged through me. A voice called out, "Zhongyan..."
Aimeni walked over and smiled, "So you're here!"
She looked at Li Meishan, "And this is...?"
"Excuse me, I have to go find my boyfriend..." Li Meishan lowered her head and quickly walked away.
Amy stared blankly at Li Meishan's retreating figure until she entered the departure lounge.
"Zhongyan, who is she...?"
I composed myself and said, "She's the girl I told you about."
"Ah?" Amy was quite surprised. "My God! You two actually met here?"
I smiled wryly. "You know, the world is small."
"She's so beautiful. No wonder you wanted to be with her and can't forget her," Amy murmured.
"It's all in the past..." I said, telling myself, yes! It's all in the past, no need to linger.
Li Meishan's flight was an hour earlier than ours. As she stood behind her boyfriend in the boarding queue, looking down at Amy and me sitting on the bench, Amy, asleep, had her head resting on my shoulder.
"Miss, please move forward," a blonde, blue-eyed woman reminded Li Meishan in English from behind.
She gave us one last look, a look filled with a deep, unyielding loneliness and melancholy...

(To be continued)

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An older man's confession: My love affair with a beautiful Arab woman (19-20)

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