Spring in Beijing is short, and unsuccessful 3P...

page views:1 Publication date:2012-03-30

People can't live without coffee, tea, and alcohol, but not honey and fruit juice. Is it because of the bitterness? I think it's because of the aftertaste.
The experience of emotional connection may be slower than that of physical desire, but few people seem immune to that kind of subtle influence, and desensitization takes much longer.
N is my best friend. I understand that friends should maintain a certain distance, but I often can't help but share my secrets with him. He feels the same way about me. JJ is his mistress, commonly known as his lover. They haven't been together for long; I found out they'd only been together for three weeks, and they'd had one unsatisfactory sexual encounter. Because their meeting was rather accidental, their motives weren't pure, and given their respectable professions and stable families, they were wary of each other. But the urge for sex led them to open up to each other. JJ is a contradiction; that's how I later came to describe her.
Their first time wasn't very satisfying; N experienced a brief erection erection. Luckily, the four-star hotel wasn't very soundproof, and the moans of the woman in the next room helped him regain an erection and finish the sex. JJ was quite horny; N hadn't satisfied her. N said to her, "How about we have K (that's me) join us? It'll be a threesome. K's really good in bed; the three of us would be really exciting." JJ readily agreed. N often tells me, "The world is too wonderful; you'll never know how chaotic it is if you don't participate."
JJ got my QQ from N. "Let's chat, let's chat, something's bound to happen sooner or later." "Heh, isn't that why we're chatting?" The purpose was clear: a threesome. JJ and I were going to flirt beforehand. "I like you to eat me." "Where?" "Down there." "Let N be on top while I eat it." "You have to eat both of us." "I like deep throat." "When you're eating my dick, look up at me." "Okay, I like to eat your dick while looking up at you." "When I lick you, you have to close your legs, so you can feel my stubble rubbing against your thighs." "It's so itchy." "It's itchy, I won't penetrate you yet, I want to eat you properly, lick you, make you drip with juice to quench my thirst." "My dick is so hard." "The harder the better." "Insert..." "Shoot in my mouth, I like it, white and thick." Online flirting gets my blood pumping, my dick stays hard every day. My lower body is a little sore, but I still like this transmigration feeling. JJ said her shorts were wet every day.
Besides online sex, we gradually started talking about many other topics: "Literature, philosophy, art, music, social life, education..." The internet is a strange place; we'd only seen each other's photos, yet we felt a mutual attraction. JJ began to distance herself from N. JJ often chatted enthusiastically with me, but barely spoke to N. Gradually, jealousy began to spread. Something subtle appeared between the three of us. N seemed somewhat sad. JJ and I remained obsessed. The pre-arranged threesome was repeatedly postponed. JJ made various excuses. I asked why? She said, "You know why." I didn't quite understand.
They still met weekly, and their sex was always great. I, who should have joined in for a threesome, ended up being JJ's chat buddy. She said she treated N like a younger brother and me like a sex partner. But in reality, she slept with the younger brother and chatted with her partner. She often talked to me about her sex scenes with N. How she took N's penis, how N ejaculated into her mouth, and how she swallowed it. Sometimes, I would be online at home while they had sex in a hotel, and during breaks, she would use her mobile QQ to report the process to me. I felt uncomfortable, and I thought I should leave.
The way to make JJ forget me was to make her think I was worthless and unworthy of her affection. So, the only solution was to abandon the positive and start talking about the negative aspects. "What kind of person are you? I really misjudged you." "Yes, this is who I really am. You didn't even know I was playing along, huh, silly girl." JJ then blocked me.
I was very down that day, and I'm sure JJ wasn't doing well either. That night, a friend invited me for drinks, and I drank quite a bit. In the karaoke bar, I was hugging a hostess, singing songs, my mind filled with thoughts of JJ. "When you're on the other side of the mountains, I'm on a lonely road with no end in sight. I often feel your breath behind me, but I never feel your breath on my chest. Longing is a disease, a disease." I hate crying, but it's okay to have tears welling up in my eyes.
The next morning, N told me that JJ told him, "I know K said that to make me give up on him and let me continue to be with you. I'm grateful for his sacrifice, we should cherish it and strive to be better together."
Now, I really want to meet JJ.
The Ferrero Rocher chocolates were a gift I brought her. We both had a good impression of each other; she looked pretty much the same as in the photos. There was a little awkwardness, but we relaxed and chatted naturally as the conversation progressed. She asked why we met. I said, "Firstly, I didn't want to hurt your feelings, and secondly, I wanted to tell you I like you, but it's impossible for us right now." She said she understood. As I left, she didn't look back. I glanced back at her retreating figure.
She added me back online after that, but we rarely chatted. She still told me about her and N's sex scenes, and I told her about my fictional ones. We were both sulking. It was pretty pointless. "You're my buddy's woman, we won't have anything to do with each other anymore, we can't be friends if you keep doing this, please block me." That was our last sentence.
She and N continued their weekly dates, and N was now doing great every time. N and I could also naturally talk about him and JJ. Although I still felt a little uneasy, it had healed considerably.
Looking back now, I think it was such a special, almost miraculous experience. Even though there was no sex, no threesome. Like JJ said, "It felt like we'd already done it, it was amazing, so liberating." I feel the same way.
Humans are complex, women are even more complex, and JJ is a contradiction. God is a girl; men are strong, yet controlled by women. Emotions are selfish; sex is easy, but love is difficult. Threesomes are possible, but love is not, because intense love leaves scars.
I believe I remained calm and rational. I didn't hide my meeting with JJ from my friend N. Emotionally, I don't think I hurt JJ. Morally, I feel I have a clear conscience. Sex is wonderful, romantic love is rare, and friendship is precious. I cherish friendship, yearn for romantic love, and crave the pleasure of sex even more.
Men rely on feelings, women on emotions. Over time, they might become confused about who cares about whom and who has left. Of course, they might also become clearer at other times. Hehe~
Spring in Beijing is short, and the winds in March are too strong!

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