A record of my feelings after ******

page views:1 Publication date:2012-06-29

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I woke up after 10 a.m. and kissed my husband. He seemed a little excited, so I suggested he go to the next room. He said no, but I knew he was just saying it for me to hear. I was still quite happy though... That's how silly women are... I don't know why I suddenly felt better.
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He went past, and C came over.
C, still very concerned about his wife, asked me, "Do you think they're over yet?"
I told you to go and take a look.
He asked me if I was going or not, and I said I didn't have the courage.
He went over and came back a little while later. I asked, "Are they done yet?"
He said, "It seems like it's over."
"
So I put on my clothes, feeling a tightness in my chest, but I still bravely said, "I'll go take a look too."
The husband sat on the edge of the bed, and Q also sat, with a certain distance between them.
They smiled when they saw me coming. I asked, "How is it?"
The husband said, "I can't take it anymore, I feel the pressure."
I asked him why, and he said, "I'm always worried that someone will come over..."
I said, "I didn't come here on purpose. He told me you were finished, so I came."
My explanation is correct, but the correct explanation actually serves as a good cover for my true thoughts... I am still selfish.
...
So we all got up and washed up. Then the men went downstairs to buy groceries, I watched TV in the living room, and she went online.
Later, the men cooked, and she helped them, while I went online in the inner room.
Seeing TT and "Mood" online felt like meeting family; an overwhelming wave of unspeakable grievances washed over me… They comforted me, offered guidance, and even scolded me, but no matter what, they meant well. That was the best gift I received that day… "Mood" even called to comfort me and listen to my troubles…
My husband smiled tolerantly when he saw me chatting. He knew I was seeking comfort, something he couldn't provide.
During the meal, C meticulously served his wife rice, picked out food, poured her drinks, and even took care of cleaning up the dishes afterwards…
He's a good husband, and Q is very happy.
After lunch, Q and C were having sex in the room and asked my husband to film them. At the time, I was extremely lenient (now I realize I was being dishonest, and I don't know if I can still be considered honest now, haha) and said to my husband, "You three come on, I'll film you."
My husband shook his head and gestured for me to look at them. Only then did I feel a little less depressed.
They were very affectionate and engrossed in each other. Later, they suggested that we do it too, saying we should record it together.
So, our two families each did our own thing on the same bed. We kept to ourselves...
But I felt so good, and I fainted on top of my husband again... I love this, I love my husband so much, and at this moment I can only accept this kind of love.
Later, everyone felt that this went against our original intention. Yes, how could a 4P be like this? So, we naturally changed it.
I watched my husband moving vigorously on top of Q, a smile on my face. Q's moans grew louder. C asked, "Is it good?" Q didn't have time to answer... I felt like a spectator in the audience... even though C was working hard on top of me... C ejaculated. I looked at my husband, he glanced back at me, and finished quickly too.
Q lay in bed for a long time, too weak to move, while C gently stroked her the whole time...
C made porridge for dinner, which we enjoyed.
Afterwards, Q went to the inner room because she had work to do, while the three of us watched a DVD outside. It was "The Pianist." Although I had heard of it a long time ago, this was the first time I had seen it. It was indeed very good. They have a lot of good movies. C has a hobby of collecting these.
The scene was beautiful. I sat between them, next to my husband, with a slice of watermelon C had cut in front of me. There were no lights, only the flickering light from the TV screen following the plot... We chatted happily...
C's left hand fingers gently caressed my buttocks, moving very lightly through my pajamas...
After "The Pianist" ended, C put on another film. At that moment, my husband's fingers probed inside me. He looked at me in surprise; I knew he was asking why I was so wet down there. I smiled shyly, and his fingers became restless, grinning mischievously… I involuntarily twisted my body, leaning my upper body towards C. C responded, and my husband began to move from behind… At that moment, I felt incredibly alluring, because I was simultaneously and confidently displaying myself in front of two men…
Because he was on the sofa, perhaps C was still thinking about his wife, so the relationship eventually ended without a clear conclusion.
When Q came out, we were already sitting there watching TV properly. But when Q came over, he asked C in surprise, "Where are your pants?" C awkwardly pointed to the condoms on the coffee table with his foot and said, "I gave them to them."
Q stopped talking; I could tell she was angry. I didn't say anything, pretending not to notice. At the same time, I noticed my husband hadn't had time to put his pants on...
Q went into the bedroom, and C followed.
I felt Q needed comforting, so my husband and I went inside together.
Q was lying in bed, while C was chatting and video-chatting with someone online. So we joined in.
Later, my husband and I were chatting while they were making love in bed.
...
Later, at a friend's request, we put on a show. But we still performed it with our own people, even though we were in the same bed.
Near the end, in order to prove to others that it was wonderful (at least that's what I thought), we switched places.
<
Q moaned with pleasure, and C took her hand and asked, "Does it feel good, baby?" He then kissed the back of her hand repeatedly... My husband and I looked at each other... I turned my head away... C ejaculated inside me again.
　　The husband moved a few times...maybe he was afraid of condoms, but anyway, it didn't work out.
Netizens said it was exciting, and I think anyone who saw it would say the same. Sensory experiences often mask many subtle details. I gave each netizen a shy smile; they only associated it with allure, and that's just how it is. It's nobody's fault but theirs.
That night, my husband and I slept together, and we made love perfectly. I had multiple orgasms, like a winged angel soaring in heaven... My husband said I was both crying and laughing, and my voice was very loud... But really, I felt so released, I love him to death... We slept very late.
I didn't get up until noon. After lunch, Q had to go out, so I shook hands with her to say goodbye. At my suggestion, my husband hugged her goodbye... At 2 p.m., my husband and I said goodbye to C.
...We left beautiful Tianjin in the cool afternoon shade...
In the blink of an eye, we've experienced one of the most challenging things in our marriage. My mind is still filled with the unfamiliar street scenes of Tianjin, the strange yet warm home, and vivid images... I'm already sitting in the study room again, nestled in the dim light of my computer, using memories to wake myself up.
I remember telling TT, "I felt very sad to see the scratches on my husband's back."
I really cared about it back then, but now I've forgiven everything...
I remember telling C before leaving that neither of us had been perfect. We should have treated the stranger like a completely different partner for those two days, but we were too attached to our own, which is why we were so reserved… C said, “Actually, it’s a gradual process, and that makes it easier for everyone to accept…”
...I'm always a theoretical giant, but in reality, I was the most fickle person throughout the whole process. I didn't know how to hide it, and I did whatever I wanted...
As I walked out of their house, I began to regret not having a proper talk with Q. She's a very tolerant woman, much more mature than me, and I really like her. I'll always remember wearing her pajamas and sleeping in her wedding bed… We should actually be very close friends.
4P is a very challenging game. I mustered up my courage to participate and gained love and harmony with my husband, as well as a trace of lingering unhappiness...
Nothing can be perfect and flawless for all four people at the same time. So, whether it's regret or happiness, what matters most is that it's in the past and has been experienced.
Everyone says that the first step is hard to take, but once you take it, you're done... Sometimes when you look back, you feel like you were caught off guard.
Looking back at threesomes, I think the woman was actually the happiest at that time. To be honest, I really look forward to it happening again, because a threesome won't make another woman cry.
Moving from one step to another, and then looking back, understanding no longer needs language; everything falls into place naturally. This is how practice and theory are repeatedly demonstrated.
In just one month, we suddenly tried everything, and we felt extremely uneasy, like a child who had stolen too much and was terrified.
Therefore, we hope to have a quiet life, or rather, to live with a contemplative attitude. We need to revisit love and get closer to our family and children.
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