If you have a lustful wife at home, you won't be able to be lustful anymore!

page views:1 Publication date:2013-04-06

1. I was watching TV on the sofa when my wife, wrapped in a bath towel, sat on my lap and said seductively, "Sir, won't you take me?" I pretended to be unmoved and said, "No, no, I don't have any money on me today!" My wife said, "What money? As long as you make me happy, I'll give you an IOU later!" I was speechless... What was going on? 2. I lifted my wife's chin with one hand and teased her, "Hey girl, come on, sing me a song!" My wife slapped my hand away, "Sir, please show some respect. I only sell my body, not my art!" Shocking... I've walked right into their trap! 3. I was lying in bed reading after taking a shower when my wife came out of the bathroom and pounced on me like a hungry tiger, saying with a ferocious look, "Hehe, you're quite handsome, young man. I want to try something new today!" I resisted fiercely. Seeing that I wouldn't comply, my wife turned gentle and said, "Sir, will you just give in to this little lady?" I said, "Give me a reason first!" My wife's eyes darted around mischievously: "This little lady was just released from jail, and hasn't had any sex in years!" My goodness~~~~~~~ That's a good reason, there's no reason not to comply! 4. My wife asked me, "You men always say women are 'secretly sexy,' what does 'secretly sexy' mean?" I said, "Secretly sexy means outwardly dignified but inwardly passionate!" My wife asked again, "Do you think I qualify?" I pretended to look her over carefully, then shook my head: "You don't qualify!" My wife nodded: "I think so too, I should be considered 'openly sexy.'" I chuckled to myself: "Accurate but not comprehensive!" My wife was puzzled: "Then what is it?" I answered triumphantly: "You're 'fully sexy'!" Ugh~~~~~~~ I'm definitely going to get a beating! 5. One night I went to a KTV with a client and didn't get home until very late. When I got home, I thought my wife was asleep, so I tiptoed to the bathroom to take a shower. I had just taken off my clothes when my wife suddenly appeared, shouting sternly, "Trying to destroy evidence?" Startled, I quickly said, "No, no, I already put my weapons away before I went out!" My wife chuckled mischievously, reaching out to touch my penis: "Hmm, the gun's still there, but I need to check if any bullets are missing!" Goodness~~~~~~~ She even has a way to check that? She stayed up half the night just for this? 6. My wife loves all beautiful things, including handsome men and beautiful women. The greatest joy of shopping with her is her searching everywhere for attractive men and women to admire. Once, after a tiring shopping trip, we sat in front of the Starbucks window, admiring the beautiful women walking by. My wife, staring intently at me, asked me blankly, "Who do you think all these beautiful women sleep with tonight?" I glared at her in surprise and replied, "Perverts!" My wife was equally surprised: "Huh? Doesn't that mean those perverts get a good deal?" I was both amused and exasperated, flicking her head with my finger: "A good deal my foot! What are you thinking about all day? Your head is full of sorghum flowers! I'm saying you're a pervert!" "Oh!" My wife nodded, seemingly understanding, and then said something that made my liver ache: "So if I sleep with them, who will you sleep with?" Speechless... I'd like to sleep with them too, but you'd probably kill me! 7. Once, I made a small fortune. When I got home, I threw the envelope at my wife: "Honey, you did a good job last month. This is a tip from your master!" My wife, looking like she was eyeing the money, weighed the envelope in her hand, hugged me, and gave me a quick kiss. She said with a charming smile, "Thank you, sir. It's my duty to serve you well. Please come again, sir!" I nodded dumbly, "Oh, definitely, definitely!" Well... what a fleeting romance! 8. My wife has a habit of hiccuping when she inhales cold air. One evening, she came home from get off work hiccuping. I asked her with concern, "Did you inhale cold air again?" My wife sighed with feigned worry, "What else can I do? You haven't been with me for days. I have no income, so I'm just starving!" I then remembered that I hadn't made love to my wife for two or three days, so I started to get handsy. My wife was quite cooperative at first, but at the crucial moment, she suddenly stopped: "Fine, I'll just continue drinking the air!" I was a little confused: "Why?" My wife smiled sweetly: "My old friend hasn't left yet, it's not convenient!" I knew it! Why has she been so well-behaved these past few days! 9. One Saturday, my wife was off work as usual, but I had to work overtime. In the morning, she clung to me and we made out for a while, then went back to sleep contentedly, while I had to go to the office exhausted. I said goodbye to her and was about to leave the bedroom when my wife said from behind: "Honey, come over tomorrow!" I nodded: "Come!" "Huh?" Luckily, I reacted quickly: "How dare I come tomorrow!""Coming tonight!" "That's more like it! Go on, I'm going back to sleep!" Wow~~~~~~~~ Being with a wife is like walking on thin ice; a slow reaction really won't work! 10. My wife and I started dating in college. Back then, girls could enter boys' dorms, but boys couldn't. One late autumn night, I angered my wife, and she left me behind to go back to her dorm. There were no cell phones then, and my wife lived on the third floor, so I shouted apologies to her from downstairs. I shouted for a long time without any effect; instead, more and more people gathered around. Seeing that the lights were about to go out, my wife asked her roommate to throw her blanket down from the window (I recognized the blanket cover because I had given it to her). Seeing the situation was getting bad, I quickly shouted, "Could you please throw down a pillow too?" "But then there was no more, only a burst of laughter from the entire building. A wise man doesn't fight a losing battle, so I quickly ran back to my dorm and spent the whole night snuggled under her blankets. The next morning, before I was even fully awake, my wife was standing in front of me, yanking the blankets off and giving me a good beating: 'You heartless bastard! You made me freeze and have a runny nose all night, and you're acting all carefree!'" "My dear~~~~~~ Do you think I wanted this?! 11. One winter was exceptionally cold. One weekend, my wife and I went to the park. We saw many people skating on the frozen lake, so I invited my wife to skate with me, but she was too scared. To prove the ice was solid, I took the lead and ran onto the ice for a lap. My wife was itching to try it, and finally decided to give it a shot. I went from the center of the lake to the shore to catch her. When we were about a meter from the shore, to further prove there was no danger, I jumped up. As a result, I heard a 'splat' and fell into an ice hole. Luckily, the water was shallow near the shore, only reaching my waist. My wife screamed in fright and almost cried. It took me a lot of effort to get out of the mud. After making sure I was alright, my wife asked me very seriously, 'Is your little brother frozen?' I endured the excruciating cold and nodded vigorously: 'It's okay, the little thing is like a polar bear!'" "Hiss~~~~~~ I still feel cold just thinking about it! 12. One afternoon, I was at work when I suddenly received a call from my wife, sounding very anxious: 'Honey, come quick, I hit someone in the Walmart parking lot!' I was really shocked and dropped what I was doing to rush to the scene. My wife was arguing with a woman in her forties. The woman's Golf's front bumper was hit by my wife's car, and my wife's car's rear bumper was also slightly damaged. I paid the woman two hundred yuan in compensation and said a lot of nice things to her. The woman was quite pleased with my flattery and drove off happily. I asked my wife, 'Where is the person you hit? Is it serious?' My wife said with a grin, 'I was backing up when I bumped into a handsome guy, and I accidentally hit the car behind him. I didn't know how much to pay him, and I was afraid of being ripped off, so I had to call you!'" "God save me! ~~~~~~ This is what you call hitting someone? When are you going to get rid of this lecherous habit? 13. My wife has always been particularly interested in my nipples, and she often plays with them to fall asleep at night. Once, my wife asked me, 'What do you think men do with these two little things since they don't breastfeed?' I thought about it for a long time but couldn't figure it out. My wife gave me a silly laugh, and I said randomly, 'Is it just for perverts like you to play with?' My wife shook her head: 'No!' I asked, 'Then what are they?' My wife said something surprising: 'I think they serve a decorative purpose!' 'What?' This unconventional statement surprised me. 'Think about it, men and women are the same. Before a woman breastfeeds, her breasts serve an external decorative purpose, while a man's are an internal decorative purpose. If he didn't have these two things, how could he look good without such an embellishment on his chest when he took off his clothes?'" "Sigh... It's such a waste that my wife isn't an interior designer! 14. One evening, I was playing games on the computer, and my wife was pestering me to play with her from behind. When I refused, she started playing tricks on me, closing the monitor, unplugging the mouse, and even secretly pulling the chair away from behind me when I was distracted. Just then, the water in the kitchen boiled, and my wife skipped off to pour it out. I was secretly pleased, finally rid of this nuisance. But my joy turned to sorrow when I plopped down on the floor. Almost simultaneously, I heard my wife yell "Ouch!" from the kitchen. I thought she had been scalded by the hot water, so I ignored my sore bottom and jumped up and rushed into the kitchen. My wife was leaning against the kitchen door, laughing heartily. I was furious. My wife patted my shoulder: "Don't be angry. This was a test to see if I'm more important to you than yourself. I'm honored to tell you that you passed the test!" "Ugh... What can I say? Earning a good reputation is better than suffering some minor harm, right? 15. My wife and I both have a habit of sleeping in late on weekends. One night we were up all night, and when I opened my eyes I felt like I'd slept for days. I nudged my wife, who was sleeping like a log on, and said, 'Look at the clock, what time is it?' My wife, still half asleep, pulled the clock out from under her pillow and looked at it: 'What's all this fuss about? It's only seven. Go back to sleep!' I touched my stomach: 'Why do I feel so hungry? I want to get something to eat.' My wife perked up at this: 'How about we continue (making love)? Didn't you see the text message saying that this kind of thing can be eaten as food and drunk as alcohol? Let's try it, are you brave enough?'" "I wasn't going to back down from that provocation, so I grabbed my sword, mounted my horse, and we had another fierce battle. Just as we finished, my mom called. We chatted for a bit, and she asked if I'd eaten lunch since it was past 1 p.m. That's when I realized my wife, that blockhead, had read the clock wrong—12:30 instead of 7 p.m. After hanging up, just as I was about to confront her, she gave me an admiring look: 'Honey, you're so brave! We lasted over six hours this time!'" "I'm spitting blood~~~~~~ If that really happened, I'd probably die from exhaustion! 16. During my university years, my wife and I went to see a movie one night. Because I had played cards all night with my roommates the night before, I was really sleepy during the second half of the movie. After getting my wife's permission, I took a short nap. I don't know how much time had passed, but a girl (sitting next to my wife) got up to leave. My wife gently nudged me, and I thought the movie was over. I groggily stood up and grabbed the girl's hand to leave. The girl was startled and tried to pull her hand away, but I held on tighter. I was thinking to myself: Why are you acting so serious in front of people? Weren't we just holding hands when we came in? Finally, the girl got impatient and simply plopped down in my seat and refused to move. I turned around and saw my wife grinning from ear to ear, and the girl's boyfriend (who looked like a student too) glaring at me. I quickly put on a smile and said, 'Dude, your girlfriend's hand is really soft. I was wondering why something seemed off! You're so lucky!'" "The crisis is over~~~~~~~~ My wife almost beat me to death after we left the movie theater! 17. For a while, cross-stitch was all the rage, and my wife joined the ranks of cross-stitchers. Every evening, she'd stay home and not leave, focusing solely on her embroidery, turning herself into a textile worker. That was good, because after dinner, I could finally have some peace and quiet, undisturbed to surf the internet or play games. But this didn't last long. My wife said it was boring to embroider alone and insisted on dragging me into the group. I was so unwilling, but there was nothing I could do. Luckily, I'm not cut out for embroidery, and I was dismissed by my wife after less than half a night. Her comment was: 'Go away, go away, your hands are as stiff as a little brother's, go somewhere cool and stay somewhere else!' Ugh~~~~~~ Turns out, not everything a man can do is good! 18. Before we got married, we bought a car, and after all the hard work of handling all the paperwork, I was so exhausted that I lay on my back on the bed, panting heavily. My wife came bouncing over: 'You can't even handle this?'" "Won't you be even more exhausted when we get married and go through the paperwork?" I asked, "What does buying a car have to do with getting married?" My wife pouted, "Of course they're related! Buying a car requires paperwork, getting married requires registration; buying a car requires gas, getting married requires food; buying a car requires maintenance, getting married requires beauty treatments..." I said, "Then let's not register, let's just live like this!" My wife glared at me, "If I let you keep test driving, how will the car dealership make any money!" I thought about it and realized she was right, so I said to her, "I know the biggest difference between buying a car and getting married!" "What?" "Buying a car allows you to get third-party liability insurance...""Marrying a wife is out of the question. What if you run off with some pretty boy one day? Who will I compensate you with?" My wife blinked and had nothing to say. It's been so long... finally, she couldn't find a reason to argue with me! 19. On the night of our engagement, my wife was removing her makeup when I, like an idiot, hugged her from behind: "My little lady, this time I've finally redeemed you from your servitude. From now on, you truly belong to me!" My wife asked, "What do you mean?" I explained, "Before, your parents-in-law were your guardians, but now they've been handed over to me. Doesn't this transfer mean I've redeemed you?" My wife turned her face away: "Pah! You're taking advantage and acting innocent! I'm telling you, you have to treat me even better from now on, or I'll go back to my old ways!" "Goodness gracious! How could she say that?! 20. My wife is someone who loves me but doesn't cling to me. She often advises me not to neglect my social life because of my infatuation with her, but there's a condition: I must be available whenever she calls. This touches me deeply. Once, I was having dinner with colleagues from work. Around 9 PM, my wife sent me a text message. I had just gotten a new phone, and a female colleague was playing with it. Without noticing, I opened the message. She immediately blushed, lowered her head, and put her phone aside. After three or four minutes, she told me, 'I think there's a text message for you.' I picked it up and saw it read: 'Aren't you done yet? I miss you and my little brother at home!'" "I was so embarrassed~~~~ For a long time afterward, I always felt strange whenever I saw that female colleague! 21. My wife, after taking a shower, was lying on the sofa in her nightgown, leisurely watching TV while eating a pile of popcorn, while I, poor me, was clipping her toenails. I joked, 'Look at you, acting like a rich landlord, always bullying us poor peasants.' My wife gave me a silly grin, her other foot restlessly rubbing against my crotch. I asked, 'What are you doing?' My wife replied, 'What's wrong? The rich landlord's daughter is flirting with you and you're not accepting it?' I said, 'Don't mess around, I'm a married man!' My wife smiled smugly and said, 'That's more like it, you haven't forgotten your roots!'" "Hmph~~~~~ I'm not stupid enough to make my wife happy! 22. My wife has a childhood friend named Alin, who works as a makeup artist in a photo studio. She's beautiful and knows how to dress well. My wife and Alin are inseparable, and my wife is always talking about Alin this and Alin that, which sometimes makes me jealous. Especially Alin's theories about dressing and styling, my wife treats them like Chairman Mao's quotations and won't allow anyone to disagree. Once, my wife was nagging me about Alin again, and I said irritably, 'I think you should just live with Alin! Alin is almost becoming my rival!' My wife was even more arrogant: 'You think I don't want to live with Alin? If I were a man, Alin would be the first person I marry! Don't provoke me, I'll sell our house and get a sex change, let's see what you do then!' I was stunned for a long time and blinked: 'Forget it, if that's the case, let Alin get the sex change, that way we can share you, so I won't be left alone!'" "Hehe~~~~~ This method is still the best of both worlds! Actually, all men like their women to appear dignified, proper, and elegant in public, but passionate and alluring at home. For more exciting content, feel free to share it on your social media so more friends can see it. Thank you for supporting my space! Any questions..."

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If you have a lustful wife at home, you won't be able to be lustful anymore!

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