My first woman was my mother-in-law.

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(I) In my life, I am grateful for Xiaohua's care and for reminding us to be careful and take care of our health. Sometimes, when she sent a small amount of food, she would specifically ask me to eat some.

Xiaohua also cared for me a lot. She would let me wolf down almost all the food sent from either of our families. Xiaohua seemed more satisfied and gratified watching me eat than she was eating herself. Unfortunately, at that time, I only knew how to fill my own stomach and never considered Xiaohua's equally hungry stomach. In July 1971, I returned to Beijing for my first family visit leave. Shortly after Lin Biao's defection, my father was "liberated" and reinstated to his original position. Our family moved to a courtyard house in the city. Aunt Li's family was also exonerated, but because Uncle Bai had passed away, Aunt Li moved alone to an apartment in a suburban area.

When Xiaohua saw me off, she tearfully repeatedly urged me to visit her family and ask if I needed any help. Actually, even if she hadn't told me, I would have gone to visit Aunt Li anyway. I'd been pampered by her since I was little; she practically treated me like her son. Sometimes when I bullied Xiaohua, she'd protect me, while my mom would get angry and spank me a few times. I was 19 then, and I understood some of life's lessons. I felt sorry for Aunt Li, all alone, and I was determined to help her in any way I could.

The day after I returned to Beijing, I went to Aunt Li's house. As I was leaving, my mother told me, "Your Aunt Li has had a tough few years, and I haven't had time to visit her. I heard she's living in a fairly spacious place now, just in a very remote area. Go see if there's anything we can help with. If there's any heavy work, lend a hand. I heard she moved there more than six months ago, and she's still packing up a lot of things. Sigh, it's tough being a woman alone! If you need anything, you can go more often, or—you could stay at her place. The housekeeper isn't here these days, and your room isn't ready yet. It's okay to come back in a day or two. If she has a phone, call her."

It took me over an hour to find Aunt Li's place, following the address Xiaohua had given me. It was a cluster of three buildings at the foot of the western hill. The buildings looked nice from the outside, but they appeared quite desolate, as if not many people lived there.

Aunt Li's house was on the second floor of the westernmost building. When I knocked on the door, Aunt Li was almost stunned to see me. She stared at me blankly for a moment, then suddenly hugged me tightly, crying and laughing, saying, "Bingbing, I'm so glad to see you! How is Huahua? Why didn't she come back? Why didn't she write a letter earlier..." A barrage of questions left me unsure which to answer first. I had never been hugged so tightly by a woman before, and I was momentarily at a loss. - By then, I was taller than Aunt Li; her head barely reached my nose. My nostrils were filled with a captivating fragrance, a scent that made me uneasy and restless. Later, I learned that it was the scent of a mature woman. At that moment, I stood there dumbfounded in her embrace, my little brother restlessly rising up. I was extremely embarrassed and dared not make any movement, blushing and inwardly cursing myself for being so cowardly.

Aunt Li seemed to sense the hardness in her lower abdomen, and quickly let go, taking a step back, her face flushing red.

I stammered, "I'm sorry, Aunt Li, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, I..." Aunt Li looked up at me in surprise, pausing for a moment, "Bingbing has grown into a grown man... Ah, it's alright, it was Auntie's fault, I shouldn't have... hugged you like that, it's just... seeing you reminded me of Huahua, and I forgot myself for a moment, Bingbing won't blame Auntie, right?"

"No, no! No! Of course not, Auntie, it's just... I didn't mean to, please forgive me!"

"What's there to forgive? Bingbing is three months older than Huahua, he's 19 years old now, a grown man, it's perfectly normal to have a reaction, don't think about it, come inside." Saying this, she led me into the room and sat me down on the rare spot where she was very kind.

"When did you get back? What would you like to drink, would you like some soda? Was the journey smooth? How's Huahua lately..." Aunt Li asked as she busied herself.

She wore a thin white polyester shirt, the shape of her bra faintly visible underneath, and grass-green military trousers. She was barefoot, wearing plastic slippers. Aunt Li used to be a dancer in the Qianjin Art Troupe. She had a great figure, fair skin, and short black hair that made her look energetic. Her breasts, while not huge, were full, and they trembled slightly with her rapid movements. I couldn't answer her question; I just stared blankly at her rhythmic movements.

"Bingbing, what are you daydreaming about? Isn't Auntie still somewhat attractive?"

"Ah! I...no...I..."

"Tell the truth, is Auntie very old? Have you lost all your charm?" she asked, gracefully turning to display her still youthful and vibrant body.

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