I'm really not an exhibitionist! (1-27 15)

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(5) Bullshit!!
My name is Chen Aling. Ever since I admitted to being an exhibitionist in front of my boyfriend and his classmates, my life has become a mess. I don't understand what those kids are thinking. I only called myself an exhibitionist because my boyfriend likes exhibitionists. But being an exhibitionist doesn't mean I'm a promiscuous girl! Just because I'm not a virgin doesn't mean I can just grab, touch, grope, and penetrate anyone I want. But guys probably don't think that way. To them, seeing a naked woman means they can do whatever they want. What's annoying is that my boyfriend thinks so too! What's going on? I haven't even given myself to Xiaowei yet, and I've already given myself to his classmates and his frenemy friends? Do they think my house is a shelter? Ever since I admitted to being an exhibitionist, a bunch of people have been staying at my house and won't leave? How can you do this? It's one thing to rummage through someone's clothes and play with them, but to rummage through someone's clothes and play with them like this?
That day, a group of people seemed to be celebrating my official status as an exhibitionist. I was deeply happy because my boyfriend was happy, because I love him deeply, but I didn't understand what they meant by "exhibitionist." The group kept saying how amazing I was! Big breasts, big belly, big fat, big butt, great skin… But I felt like they weren't praising me; they were just touching and grabbing me. I awkwardly smiled while looking at my boyfriend. He didn't seem to care that I was sharing with his classmates, and he joined them in grabbing me like a pervert. My feelings were a complete mess. I like it when my boyfriend touches me, but what's going on with all these friends touching me?
I don't know? I don't understand? My mind and emotions are a complete mess. I feel like a mannequin, a toy, a doll... completely unresponsive, letting a group of people play with me. I don't remember what happened that day. Only the first person's penetration was a little painful, probably because I hadn't had sex in a long time and needed some lubrication. I don't remember what happened after that. I can't really remember my boyfriend, Xiaowei. I fell asleep without realizing it, then woke up being played with, then fell asleep again, then woke up again. I don't like this, but I feel like a tiny piece of driftwood in an ocean current. Besides going with the flow, I don't know what else I can do.
The alarm clock dutifully went off the next morning. Thankfully, I bought one of those that goes off every day, not one that needs to be set every night. Perhaps its daily, error-free performance is a blatant and sarcastic commentary on my current chaotic life.
Looking at the group of strangers sleeping soundly in my house, each person's snoring seemed to tell a story of how easily I had been manipulated yesterday. I, Chen Aling, a lovesick fool, unsure whether I'm in love with my boyfriend or with a lovesick idiot. Standing at the doorway before heading to work, I looked at the chaotic crowd, the chaotic house, the chaotic life, the chaotic relationships… and suddenly wondered if I was an exhibitionist? Then I looked at myself, dressed neatly and about to go to work…
Bullshit!! Screw you exhibitionists! I'm not an exhibitionist!
(vi) A complete mess!
I work as a telephone customer service representative at a telecommunications company. All day at work, my phone received photos of what they did to me last night. So many people… they were touching and grabbing my whole body… some of their actions were so embarrassing. I was constantly deleting the photos they sent while I was working. Then I scolded myself for being stupid! Actually, I often scold myself for being stupid! Why didn't I just turn my phone off? So stupid! And so, I spent the whole day at work, regretting it, and trying to figure out how to get them out.
But I was wrong.
Every day when I get home from get off work, there's always a group of people, some I know and some I don't, gathered in my house. I don't know when they came in or if they've never left. They also bring their electric toys to play with. They probably tidy up the place and take out the trash. Maybe it's because they've invited new friends over. They always strip me naked the moment I get home, saying things like, "What's an exhibitionist wearing?" It's like I really am one of their toys. Besides daily sex, they also make me go shopping naked and tease me about how often I used to shop naked. The shopkeepers nearby seem a bit used to it; they just stare at me but don't say much. Faced with the unfriendly stares of my neighbors, I don't know what to say.
Young people are so creative; they always come up with tricks to play on me. Sometimes I have to feed them drinks by mouth, and other times I have to sit on their erect penises with my vagina. Many parts of my fat are always scratched red. Being naked to shop isn't enough; they want me to be naked to work too. I'm terrified! Because at work I'm a completely normal person; nobody knows I have a bunch of vicious little kids at home who abuse me every day. Luckily, there's one person who likes to smell my underwear. He's always the first to take it and pervertedly suck on it. But this didn't last long; after a while, he took all my underwear and disappeared. Now everyone else wants me to be naked to work.
On my first day, I was completely lost. It was crowded during work hours, so I had to constantly cover myself while searching for clothes. I first found a newspaper on the street and grabbed whatever I could find to cover myself. I changed into anything I could find along the way. Young people are so creative; it inspired my own. Gradually, I discovered that there were actually many things I could wear to work: newspapers, plastic bags, rags, clothes from recycling bins, umbrellas…etc. No one at the company knew that I actually left home completely naked every day and then grabbed something to cover myself. They only noticed the occasional sour or strange smell.
Thank goodness, the company requires uniforms. I'll change into my uniform as soon as I get to the office. If the smell is too strong, I'll immediately throw away any smelly coverings. So I can cover myself up completely at the office and then put on my uniform naked. The downside is that sometimes the coverings I grab from the street have a strange smell or dirt that I can't see. Sometimes I'll smell it, or only notice something dirty on my body during breaks.
Getting off work is also a hassle. If the covering I wear in the morning doesn't smell too bad, I'll keep it and wear it home. I'll leave it in a familiar spot near my house, hoping no one will take it so I can find it again the next day and go home naked. If I throw the covering away at work, I'll make my own at the office. The company has plenty of plastic bags and paper, which makes it easy for me to get creative. Of course, I still end up leaving my creative covering near my house before going home naked.
My neighbors are used to me now. But the problem is, I don't have my key! The little brat took it! They're demanding I do what I did before (in previous episodes): stand naked at the door, banging and yelling for them to open it. Good heavens—that's my house!!
Then, when the neighborhood kids heard me knocking and yelling to open the door, they would run out and hug my legs, slapping my naked body. Because of their height, besides hugging my legs, they would mostly just touch my genitals and slap my bottom. The uncles and elders in the neighborhood would also come out and chat with me for a bit, then casually touch and grab my body for a while. This would continue until my little kid opened the door and let me in. Sometimes the uncles and elders from the neighborhood would come in too. But it didn't matter how many came; I just felt like a toy, always being played with.
I don't understand what kids or men are thinking. They always ask strange questions. They ask if I feel good? If I'm happy when I'm naked in public? If I feel pleasure when I'm gang-raped at home? I don't understand. Although sometimes I do feel warm currents running through my body, most of the time it's just a little painful and numb, with no pleasure to speak of. Especially when one person is penetrating my anus from behind, grabbing my hips and pulling me back. Because he's pushing forward and pulling my hips back forcefully from behind; but another person is penetrating my vagina from the front, grabbing my buttocks and pulling me forward forcefully. Because he's pushing forward and pulling my buttocks forward forcefully from the front.
Sometimes when someone is thrusting into my anus and vagina from both in front and behind, my hips and buttocks are constantly being pushed and pulled in all directions by their hands and penises... What... What are they doing? They actually think I'm enjoying it? No way! I have to brace my legs against the ground to prevent you two from spreading me apart.
Not only were the two of them in front of and behind, but different people were also constantly pulling in different directions. They were constantly kissing from different angles, pulling my breasts from different directions, and grabbing my waist. They were also constantly grabbing my hands and doing different things with them.
We can keep doing it all the way from the living room, the closet, the bedroom, the balcony. What am I like, if not driftwood?
My sleep is definitely not good every day, because there are always people who don't sleep at night just to have sex. At most, they are both tired at the same time, so I can rest for a bit, have a drink of water or take a shower.
Occasionally, when I see cases of people being gang-raped and killed in the news or even dramas, I find it unbelievable. Because I'm gang-raped every day, sometimes by people I know, sometimes by strangers, but I don't feel much pain. I don't know when I'll be able to stand up for myself and drive them away? As for Xiaowei? Hmm? It seems like I haven't seen him in a long time? When I do see him, I don't even feel like he's my boyfriend anymore. Maybe the biggest gain I've made lately is that I don't love him anymore. And I don't care about him that much anymore.
(vii) The Climax of Freedom
Several months passed, and the telecommunications company said they were short-staffed at the branch and anyone who wanted to transfer could apply. At first, I didn't think much of it, but I noticed my colleagues kept mentioning how great the branch was, how much better the benefits and salary were, and suggested I consider it. Strange, if the branch was so good, why didn't they go? Later, I thought, maybe in their eyes, I wasn't an easy person to get along with. I could have lunch with them, but I didn't want to go home with them. Every day at work, I wore strange coverings and was practically naked in my uniform, unlike them who all wore underwear. Although I tried my best to hide it, they could still smell that I smelled a little bad. I thought, maybe it would be better for them if I asked for a change of environment. And every day for the past few months felt like an adventure to me. I always try to come up with creative ideas on the spot, even if it means being naked without anyone seeing me. Although I often fail, I have no choice but to curse myself for being stupid again.
Finally, I applied for a transfer. The company said it would take effect immediately!?
Is this for real? I can apply today and report to my new workplace tomorrow? Does the company also find my eccentricities unbearable? I don't know. But at that moment, I felt a sense of freedom… as if I had been liberated from something… a wondrous feeling I hadn't experienced in months… it was an unknown, and the unknown usually brings unease and fear. But I didn't know that at that moment, I felt a profound peace and tranquility.
Xiao Wei came that night. I looked at him, not knowing what I was looking at. All I knew was that he used to be the person I deeply loved, but now he was just like me, a piece of driftwood in a vast ocean, a toy controlled by the entire social system. He played with me like those other kids, boasting about how much better my figure had become—my belly was gone, my waist was thinner, my buttocks were smaller and perkier, and my breasts weren't as big and sagging as before, but firm and slightly upturned. And my vulva—he said he didn't understand why, after so many people had penetrated me, my labia minora hadn't everted, and my labia majora were still like buds waiting to be opened by every philanderer? And why was my vagina still as tight as a virgin's?
I was happy to receive his praise, and I felt that this was my biggest gain in the past few months. In addition to letting go of my obsession with him, I also gradually regained my health. I don't know if it was because I spent a lot of energy "exercising" with a group of perverts every day that I became healthy, or because I lived a life of secrecy and impulsive sexual activity every day.
They're still keeping me in check, but I feel that same sense of freedom I felt when I heard the answer to my transfer request… I'm free… I know the answer… I know… the opportunity has arrived! That is, I can leave them! They know my current work environment, so I can't leave them. But tomorrow, right tomorrow, I can go to my new job immediately! Rent paid, that's it! I don't have to come back! I can finally get rid of them!
Even now, there are still people thrusting into me from both in front and behind. And when I finally understood the answer to that freedom, my anus and vagina felt like two living dragons coiling upwards, shooting straight to my head, making me cry out. And those two energies didn't stop immediately; instead, they continued to coil and impact me like two living dragons, making me tremble slightly with excitement.
That night, the kids were ecstatic. They said they'd made me orgasm, because I'd never orgasmed before. They were overjoyed with their achievement. But I felt sorry for their naivety and gave a dismissive smile.

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I'm really not an exhibitionist! (1-27 15)

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