Making friends ≠ exchanging (from a friend's blog in Jiaxing)

page views:1 Publication date:2017-12-08

Making friends is not just a simple exchange.
When you add new friends online, many people's first question is always: Are you a couple? Do you do swapping? How many times have you swapped?
Although these are couple accounts, and most of the women registered in the profiles have female profile pictures, the men are usually sitting in the back. They'll chat for only a few sentences before wanting to video chat; some even call without any prior greeting.
When faced with such situations, I initially tried to patiently explain, but later I simply told them they were a couple, but should be friends first. If they didn't understand, I would sometimes show them articles, and sometimes I would ask them to figure it out themselves. As for video calls, I almost always rejected them with strong aversion, and if someone persisted, I would block them on the spot.
Making friends and exchanging ideas has become a crucial step, allowing me to quickly assess the other person's character and maturity in making friends.
A friend who had once distanced himself from the group once told me: "This place is really boring; it's all talk and no action." I just smiled and didn't reply.
It's true what they say: when people don't see eye to eye, even half a sentence is too much!
Another friend angrily said: How could this be? Even animal pairing isn't this simplistic and vulgar! You should write an article to educate people about this!
Making friends and exchanging things seem to have become a sign that people group themselves together.
But I can say definitively: making friends is not an exchange, but it may include elements of exchange! (Note: only "may")
I find those who view exchange as their sole purpose deeply repulsive. Such people automatically reduce themselves from human beings to the level of animals. Aside from the needs of their reproductive organs, they seem to have no other needs.
Couples making friends is essentially a joint effort between husband and wife; both men and women have their own preferences. Since they are adults and spouses are friends, there are virtually no restrictions on the topics of conversation. Sex is often an important topic, but it's not the only one. Birds of a feather flock together; people always need to find friends who share their interests. All aspects of life—national affairs, family matters, private matters—as long as they can get along and trust each other, they can talk about anything.
If you feel good about something, you can video chat, meet in person, and if you feel it's a good fit, you can exchange partners. That's perfectly normal.
In life, because of various concerns, we certainly can't find spouses who can communicate without any reservations, right? This is a need of ours—a very normal need, both emotionally and physically. I call this kind of interaction: a close, family-like friendship!
Such a state is beautiful, but not easy to achieve; one could say it is something that can only be encountered by chance.
Furthermore, not all couples and friends are suitable for swapping partners. Some couples get along very well, are kindred spirits, and feel like they've known each other for a long time. But once they swap partners, it's not pleasant, and it may even ruin their wonderful relationship.
In fact, those with experience in making friends as a couple know that the most beautiful feeling comes from the process of getting to know each other. Couples who can enjoy this process and are not in a hurry to pursue friendship are truly psychologically mature.
Couples who remain compatible and understanding after the exchange are truly blessed.

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