How to pass sexual signals in public

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A single word can evoke intimacy

. Sex is a perfectly normal part of married life, but many believe it's also the hardest thing to say. Think about it: when you want to be intimate with your partner, you can't just say, "Let's go to bed," right? That sounds too direct; an elegant lady wouldn't say something like that, especially with young children around. Dr. Tina, a relationship advisor for *Red Book*, suggests that when couples have shared a particular experience where they felt a connection,

a word related to that experience can evoke memories—a perfect code. "For example," she says, "some American couples now use 'candles' as a code because they always have candlelight dinners on their honeymoons, and that atmosphere is undeniably romantic." So, when they have children and want to be intimate, one of them might say, "Honey, let's go see if we have any candles." In an instant, the passion of their honeymoon transforms into an electric current, instantly drawing them to the bedroom.

37-year-old Anna said that when she first met her husband, she knew she would marry him. “But I didn’t want to say something as cliché as ‘I love you,’ so I told him, ‘You are my home.’” More than 10 years later, Anna and her husband have two children, but that phrase remains their secret code before intimacy.

The Secret to Public Displays of Affection

Sophie and her husband both work for large companies, and many colleagues are often around when they talk on the phone. “I don’t want our sweet nothings to be overheard by my colleagues, so we have some secret codes,” Sophie said. “For example, when answering the phone, we’ll say ‘Incredible,’ which means our love is unparalleled.”

Sometimes, secret codes used in public don’t have to be verbal; they can also be gestures. Catherine said, "My husband likes to touch his nose, and we take this as a sign of love. So he often does it to me in public, whether it's a big banquet, a family dinner, or the kids' ball game. It's our little secret, and I love the feeling."

Using Codes to Overcome Communication Barriers

Men tend to be concise, while women often have a lot of unspoken meaning, which can create communication problems. Codes, however, are always simple. When a woman uses a code to convey a message to a man, he finds it clean and efficient, and the woman finds it emotional, thus removing communication barriers.

Vivian and her husband kiss every day at noon. "We got married at this time 23 years ago. We do this to commemorate our marriage and express our love," Vivian said. "I invented this code, but my husband loves it because he no longer has to rack his brains for long, mushy words. He always says that I invented the code, and he turned it into a tradition."

Sometimes, codes can even save a marriage. Wendy first met her husband while working as a waitress at a bar, and he was a customer. Their first conversation was Wendy asking, "Do you need some fries?" From then on, this became their secret code. After marriage, when they argued fiercely, one of them would always suddenly ask, "Do you need some fries?" Then they would both laugh and make up.

How to recognize your partner's sexual cues:

First: Affectionate gestures, hugs, kisses, tender gazes, and lingering whispers from your partner all send you messages of affection.

Second: During sexual arousal, the intensity of your partner's embrace can convey information about the strength of their movements. More precisely, when your wife hugs you tighter or presses her body closer to you, it means she needs stronger stimulation. When she slowly pushes you away, you should consider whether you've been too rough.

Third: Couples can also pre-arrange secret codes for conveying sexual feelings, using eye contact, but more often, gestures. For example, both partners can place their palms together and adjust the position and intensity of their sexual activity based on the pressure applied by the other person.

Fourth: Female orgasms tend to occur more slowly, often requiring a longer period of excitement and plateau. Mastering the timing of the female's late plateau and the onset of orgasm, allowing both partners to reach orgasm simultaneously, is quite difficult and not achievable for everyone or every sexual encounter. However, this is not a problem; the husband can wait until his wife reaches orgasm before ejaculating, ensuring both partners achieve maximum satisfaction.

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