Wife's Desire: A Labyrinth of Desire - Chapter One: Internet Infatuation (Part 1)

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Since I added Tan Rui as a QQ friend, we've been chatting on QQ frequently. Originally, I had absolutely no interest in QQ chatting; I thought it was a waste of time, a toy for people to kill time. I only used QQ for work and transferring files, rarely chatting with anyone. I only had six friends, two of whom were my sister He Yi and cousin Tingting. Tan Rui was my seventh QQ friend. After Tan Rui became my QQ friend, I had to be online on QQ frequently, otherwise Tan Rui would send me reminder text messages: "Brother He, hurry up and log on to QQ, let's chat for a bit," or "What, are you playing dumb with me? Why don't you even log on to QQ? I have to remind you!"
To avoid being teased by her, I've gotten into the habit of logging onto QQ as soon as I turn on my computer at work, and being online on QQ as soon as I get home and turn on my laptop. My sister, He Yi, discovered this and teased me on QQ, saying, "Big brother, are you in a relationship? Why are you always online on QQ lately? You weren't like this before. Even your little sister has to call you to find you."
I have immense respect for women's intuition; they're all like female strategists, always spotting things right. I was too embarrassed to admit it to my sister, so I pretended otherwise, changing the subject to get away with it. But I still agreed to visit my sister's child, my little nephew, Tongtong, in early December. Thinking about it, it's less than a month until 2010. I'm already 34, and my sister, four years younger than me, already has a child, while I'm still single. Thinking of my parents eagerly awaiting their grandchild, I feel a pang of anxiety myself. I feel guilty towards Qiqi; I still want to wait for her to come back, which is why I've been hesitant. But now there's still no news of her. In this vast sea of people, I can't find her anywhere. It seems Qiqi and I are destined to be apart. It seems I have no choice but to find someone else. Tan Rui is a good option, but we live in different places; how can they possibly be together?
Tan Rui seemed quite willing to communicate with me online. During the day at work, we could only chat by typing, because employees in Shenzhen weren't allowed to use voice chat. At home in the evenings, we often used QQ voice or video chat, saving us the trouble of typing. Sometimes I wondered what exactly our relationship was: We were dating, but neither of us had said it; we were friends, but we seemed too close. Sometimes, even if Tan Rui got a pimple, she would report it to me on QQ: "Brother He, what should I do? I got a pimple on my face, and I'm too ashamed to go out today." Sometimes, if she wanted to buy a new outfit, she would nag me on QQ for advice.
Actually, I've always been clueless about fashion. My sister, who lives far away in Shaoxing, takes care of all my clothes and underwear. I know absolutely nothing about women's clothing and grooming. I've spent a lot of time searching on Baidu to learn about popular styles and trends in women's clothing, and that's how I managed to get by.
I chatted with Tan Rui on QQ for less than two months, and our relationship quickly warmed up. I also gained a basic understanding of her personality and temperament. One evening at home, Tan Rui invited me to join a group on QQ: Tianya Mingyue (meaning "The Ends of the Earth and the Bright Moon"). I didn't know why, but trusting Tan Rui, I didn't think much of it or ask any questions. I just joined the QQ group using the number Tan Rui provided.
The person who approved my entry into the group was someone with the QQ nickname "Whose Tears Are Flying." Only after joining did I realize this person was the group owner. I checked the group owner's profile; the information was pitifully scarce. I could only see that the group owner was female, and nothing else. I started searching for Tan Rui's QQ nickname in the group, and surprisingly, Tan Rui was also an administrator. The group only had "a few people, most of whom had grayed-out avatars, either invisible or offline." The group was completely silent.
Just as I was about to chat with Tan Rui privately, the group admin appeared in the group chat: Newcomer reporting for duty!
I could only reply: I'm new here, please take care of me.
Group admin: Sure, newcomers, please state your initials!
"Three Firsts"—what is "Three Firsts"? I've never heard of this term before, so I had to honestly ask the group admin. The admin told me that "Three Firsts" refers to first kiss, first love, and first time. This put me in a dilemma; can my personal privacy be publicly disclosed in the group? It seems I can only ask Tan Rui for help.
Tan Rui and I started chatting privately, and I confided my secret. But Tan Rui told me that the rule of this group was that everyone had to tell the truth, otherwise the other members would look down on me. Even with Tan Rui's warning, how could I be so foolish as to tell the truth? In the group chat, I replied: "My first kiss was with my mother, but I don't remember exactly when. My first love was a kid from kindergarten, but he didn't like me. As for my virginity, I'm saving it for my fiancée; I still have it." As soon as I posted these words, a member immediately responded: "Newbie, I'm just being kind, but this is unfair! You need to correct your attitude and answer again, or you'll be kicked out!"
One group member chimed in: "9494 (Exactly!), I think he's just putting on a show. He claims to be kind, but he's actually up to no good. He's definitely after the pretty girls in our group. Newbie, confess!"
I sent a wronged QQ emoticon to show that I wasn't lying, but people still wouldn't let it go, and a few people jumped out to ridicule me.
What's most infuriating is that "Waiting for the Flowers to Bloom" (Tan Rui's QQ nickname) also jumped out to make things difficult for me: "The newbie's name is 'I Am Kind,' but she's not honest at all, and she's quite glib. If I tell you to register for 'Third Junior High,' you should honestly register for it; don't try to get away with it. Kindergarten doesn't count; it's at least junior high or later."
It seems they're really going to make things difficult for me. Who am I? How could I let them play me for fools?
I feigned sincerity: Since our group member Lao Muxiang isn't satisfied with my answer, I'll try again. My first kiss was in my junior year of college. I fell for a senior, who was also my first love. She was the one who initiated the relationship. We were watching a movie together one night, and we were so moved by the plot that we kissed without thinking. Of course, my kiss was clumsy; it was just a light, fleeting kiss. Later, she graduated and went back to her hometown, and our relationship ended without a trace. As for my virginity, I still keep it, saving it for my life partner.
A user with the nickname "Perverted Bad" immediately teased me: "Reporting to the group owner, I know that 'I am inherently kind' is no longer a virgin, and I also know who he gave his first time to."
I sent a horrified QQ emoticon to express my shock. "Perverted Bad" sent a laughing QQ emoticon and said: The newcomer's first time was given to his right hand. I don't believe a 34-year-old man is still a virgin.
Damn, this guy actually spoke rudely to me and went out of his way to ridicule and make things difficult for me. Sure enough, several group members sent gloating QQ laughing emojis or snickering emojis.

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Wife's Desire: A Labyrinth of Desire - Chapter One: Internet Infatuation (Part 1)

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