Dawn

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23 08:17:27

The person in front of me finally died. I picked him up, placed him on the small cart he had pushed himself, and pushed it towards the organic waste processing area. He was heavy, unlike when I carried Lulu; she was so light, her limbless body leaning softly against my chest, as if she might float away at any moment.
—I placed her on the conveyor belt leading from the sorting center to the organic processing area, watching her go further and further away with the various rotting meats, gnawed bones, moldy vegetable leaves… until she finally disappeared. I wonder if she and the person I'm pushing now will become fertilizer or animal feed?
"Congratulations, you have a name now. Dawn." Dawn, who had been listening to our conversation, finally spoke.
"What does a name really mean? Why are you congratulating me? Why..."
"Wait. I know you have many questions, and so do I. Let's take it slow. A name is a unique designation for each person, indicating that you are different from others."
"Why do people need names? Why are people different from others?"
"Because everyone is unique. You are not only one of billions of clones, not only one of tens of thousands in this work area, everyone should not just be a number, but should have their own name. You are Dawn, not anyone else, not just Z-2258-DUT-0309."
"I still don't quite understand."
Dawn sighed, staring intently at me for a long time, paused, as if making a decision, and said in a low voice, "Your questions are difficult for me to explain. Perhaps you need to read a book to understand it yourself."
"A book?" I was taken aback: "—No clone may possess, read, or disseminate any books, publications, or pictures without authorization—"
"Stop, stop, stop. Do you want to know the answers to those questions? Do you want to read a book? I can tell you, I have some books that I painstakingly pieced together from scraps and fragments found in the trash."
Although my self-awareness was instilled with the strict discipline to follow orders, I disobeyed them this time. Later, I learned from the books that clones also have humanity, such as curiosity and a thirst for knowledge.
"Look, this is the book." Dawn pulled a book out of nowhere and waved it in front of me, staring into my eyes. "Report to command center, or read this with me?"
If it were before that day, I would have grabbed him without hesitation. But at that time, I had just met Lulu, and I had too many questions.
My teeth chattered, and I trembled. I finally reached out, and Dawn shoved the book into my hand. I saw on the cover: "Common Flower Cultivation Guide."
Actually, it couldn't really be called a book anymore; not a single page was intact. Although Dawn had carefully glued the pages together, a lot of content was still missing.
But that was enough. So many words and pictures showed me that there really are flowers on the ground, in all sorts of colors.
"I already have dozens of books, and I'm still collecting. You can come and look at them for a while every day," Li Ming said when I left that day. From that day on, I went to his place every day to read for a while. Or we would search for fragments of books together in the filthy, stinking, unsorted garbage heap.
More than three thousand days have passed, and every day has been like this. But today I don't have time. The unexpected death just now delayed me. I can only go to Li Ming's place for one more inspection before leaving. After sending the dead body to the organic waste treatment area, I returned to the command center to register his death information and set off again towards the automated preliminary sorting center where Li Ming was.
The buildings in the work area reflected a dim, yellowish light under the night sky; everything seemed cold and dirty. Passing the intersection I had just been at, countless workers were still busily coming and going, as if nothing had happened. Only the large pool of dark red blood on the ground reminded me that a life had just been lost here. And tomorrow morning, this pool of blood would be cleaned up. A new him will appear in our work area, and the world will be as if nothing has happened; everything will be the same as before.
Today, I walked 1,920 steps to the automated preliminary sorting center, whereas I used to walk a full 2,550 steps every day. The sorting center is the tallest building in the work area, located right below the exit leading to the ground. Several thick pipes connect it to Nightfall; I think those pipes could easily accommodate a hovercar. The garbage on the ground is continuously transported to our work area through these pipes. Unlike other sections, the automated sorting center only has one staff member, Dawn. The actual work is done by the main control computer controlling various robotic arms, and Dawn's main job is to look after the computer and maintain the robotic arms.
I entered the sorting center. Although the air in the entire 74th district is polluted, the smell here is particularly unpleasant. As usual, no one wants to come here; the tall building is quiet and seems exceptionally empty. I first went to the control center. Various data were flashing on the holographic screens of the main control computer. Dawn wasn't here. He
was probably out looking for books again. I hurried towards the garbage collection hall, where all the trash transported through the pipes would gather.
Dawn wasn't there either; only the clanging and scraping of metal from the mechanical arms moving overhead, and the rustling sounds from the piles of garbage. Where was he?
I was too late. I thought for a moment, then headed towards the maintenance area. There, various parts and tools for repairing the garbage sorting system were prepared; perhaps Dawn was doing maintenance work.
The maintenance door was ajar; I pushed it open, the heavy iron door groaning softly. As soon as I stepped inside, Dawn appeared before me: "You've come?"
He was a clone of average build, like us, but his skin was paler, and his face was lined with wrinkles—we clones hardly age, but he showed signs of age due to his long service. However, his eyes were deeper than anyone I had ever seen.
"What are you doing?" I asked with a smile.
"Doing some routine maintenance." Dawn didn't look at me, and I immediately realized he was lying—I had read a book that taught me how to read someone's emotions through facial expressions. I looked at him intently. "Are you lying?"
Dawn laughed loudly. "Yes, I'm sorry. This is important, but I shouldn't have kept it from you. Come with me."
Curious, I followed him into the repair shop, through a door into an inner room, where a hovercar was prominently displayed among a pile of various parts.
"A hovercar! Where did this come from?" I exclaimed in surprise. The hovercar looked dilapidated and old, like a pile of junk.
"I slowly assembled it from scrap parts I collected from the junkyard," Dawn said excitedly, rubbing his hands together with a smug smile.
"You...you can assemble hovercars?" I couldn't hide my astonishment.
“Yes, I was born to repair machinery and handle mainframe computers. My self-awareness is already infused with a lot of mechanical knowledge, and my clone source also possesses a high level of mechanical talent. So, after seeing a book on hovercar maintenance, I learned how to assemble it.”
“But… this is an extremely serious violation.”
“Even the most serious violation is just like possessing a book—forced disposal. I’ve already served for over ten thousand days; I don’t care.”
“But why do you want to assemble a hovercar?”
“I want to go to the ground and see Dawn.” Dawn looked up, her face filled with longing.
“Clones leaving their work site without permission will definitely be dealt with. Even if you see Dawn, you’ll be discovered immediately. So…” I didn’t know how to continue.
“It’s alright. As long as I can see the dawn, I’d be happy even if I’m disposed of immediately.” Dawn smiled at me.
“I don’t understand. You, the old Dawn, and Lulu… all desperately wanted to see the surface, why? You secretly logged into the government’s data center three times through the main computer, altering your service information. Your lifespan, originally only five thousand days, has now been extended to nearly twenty thousand days, yet you’re planning to give it up just to see the dawn… Why?”
Dawn stared at me and shook his head: “For no reason.”
I fell silent. I didn’t think life was precious before because I had no meaning in living. But now I have Lulu, I can think, I have knowledge, and my knowledge is constantly growing, making me feel that I should live as long as possible—I had originally planned to ask Dawn to change my service information in the next few days to avoid being disposed of.
Dawn saw my question and sighed: “Even paramecia yearn for light.”
I knew about paramecia. I had seen them in a book; they were the lowest of creatures. However, they did indeed swim towards the light.
Dawn continued, “We are human. We can’t be satisfied just because we can eat our fill, sleep well, and stay warm… We should have pursuits beyond survival.”
“We are clones…”
“Clones are human too. At least, I consider myself human.”
I fell silent. Actually, I didn’t understand the difference between us and natural humans.
Dawn smiled and changed the subject: “You seemed very happy when you first came in?”
I remembered what happened this morning and laughed, “Yes, they’ve started distributing clothes to the staff now. See, we’re getting better and better, and we’ll definitely get even better in the future.”
Dawn scoffed dismissively: “They took everything from you, and then bestowed a small portion of what they took upon you, and you’re grateful to that?”
I fell silent again. Captain and Dawn, who was right?
Dawn laughed again: “It’s alright, don’t think too much. This vehicle might not even work yet, because the book is missing the part about the power source, and I don’t know how to solve it, nor can I find a complete piece of glass… Dawn, I’ve lived too long, I’m tired of living without knowing why. Once I have the chance, I want to do what I truly want to do… Here, this is Shelley’s poetry collection, I’ve collected it all.”
I quickly reached out and took the tattered book of poems pieced together from scraps of paper. There wasn’t time today, but even reading just one page would be fine. I quickly flipped through it and began to read softly:
“…
Why till the land for the landlords?
They never considered you their own kind.
Why weave
endlessly the magnificent garments for your cruel kings?
…”

The day’s patrol work ended, and I returned to the patrol team’s command center, my mind filled with Dawn’s words. Of course, I wouldn’t report his actions, but was going to the ground to see Dawn really that important? In the
distance, I saw the captain distributing red and green cards to the patrol members, and some of those who had received their cards had already gone to exchange them for their food and were munching away. Today, each of them received a whole fish, accompanied by some vibrant green vegetables and glistening rice. I desperately tried to suppress the urge to imagine what it would taste like.
"You don't have it because of your own fault! How can you blame the government? — That's just how the world is, unreasonable? Let me tell you… it's like that everywhere… Yes, only two-thirds of people get it each time, but why don't you think about how to improve yourself, how not to always be in that third? How to strive to be one of the two-thirds?"
The captain was probably scolding that guy again. He almost never received a green card or red card.
"…It's because I'm good-natured and too lazy to argue with you, otherwise, based on what you just said, I could have arrested you… Go and reflect on yourself. If you want a card, work hard."
"Fair? Working hard gets you a red card and a green card, how is that unfair? What? You're saying it should be as fair as natural persons? Are you crazy?"
The poor guy huddled on his mat, head down, while two team members who had received food were deliberately grinning and eating loudly in front of him, smacking their lips. For some reason, I suddenly felt that we were all so pathetic.
It was my turn. The captain gave me a questioning look. My Adam's apple bobbed; the fishy smell of fish mingled with the sweet aroma of rice, relentlessly cutting into my nostrils, almost driving me to a nervous breakdown. I held my breath and nodded with difficulty.
The captain handed me two red cards, which I grabbed and fled the command center as if my life depended on it. I passed through the rest area, where the smell of food was even stronger—most of the staff were happily enjoying their rare meal, the soft chewing sounds making me want to vomit.
At the end of the rest area was the cleaning area. Originally, there were only open-air shower facilities, but later a building was built next to it, which was where Lu'er was: the changing room. I didn't understand why they didn't just call it the mating area, because the staff basically had no clothes to change into. Perhaps it was planned from the beginning that clothes would be provided to us?
Some people were already showering in the open-air shower area, their naked bodies reflecting the faint glimmer of water. We could enjoy a fifteen-minute hot shower once every five days, and most people relaxed their bodies under the hot water, groaning softly.
I took off my clothes, carefully wrapped the two red cards, stood under a showerhead, and ran my palm across the reader on the wall in front of me. The reader read the chip implanted in my palm and coldly announced: "z-2258-du131t-0309, showering permitted." Then the showerhead above my head suddenly turned on, and warm water began to wash over my body.
I closed my eyes and quietly enjoyed this brief comfort. The hot water had a strong, rusty smell, somewhat pungent, but we couldn't ask for more. The captain said that when he first arrived, there were no shower facilities, and everyone was as filthy and smelly as garbage.
"We will get better and better, especially with this new leader, young and promising, and willing to improve the living conditions of the clones. We must believe in him and give him time..." He always spoke of this with gratitude and longing, and I hoped he was right. But Dawn didn't think so. Dawn said, “No matter how you change it, you can’t change the fact that we are enslaved. As long as this world is still divided into clones and natural humans, and as long as the system of natural humans ruling over clones remains unchanged, hoping for one or two brilliant leaders is simply a joke. Is it possible for him to fundamentally abolish the system of clones supporting natural humans? If so, natural humans would never choose him as their leader.”
Dawn always thinks of things I can’t even comprehend. I don’t have as much time to read as he does, and I can’t think like him. Perhaps one day I will be able to tell who is right, and I hope to wait until that day. Right now, the most important thing is to clean myself up and go see Lulu.
Fifteen minutes passed quickly. I washed away the grime, and every pore breathed. I felt much lighter, and every cell was full of vitality. I picked up my clothes and went to the changing room door. I inserted a red card into the card reader, and a holographic screen was projected in front of me, displaying photos and numbers of the female clones serving here—I think it’s more appropriate for me to call them “women” as in the book. I flipped through the screen four times, and the first one in the second row was that familiar face. Without even glancing at the number, I tapped it with my finger, and the holographic screen retracted. A cold, electronic voice announced, "Please proceed to Room 1132."
The automatic door in front of me slowly opened, and I entered the changing room. A long corridor stretched out, lined with neat rows of small doors, each leading to a small room. Some doors were open, with women waiting for their mating partners; others were closed, suggesting mating was underway. It was eerily quiet; even during mating, clones remained remarkably silent.
I quickly reached room 1132, entering through a small door. A mat sat on the floor of the cramped room, and a metal rack protruded from the wall, holding a basin of water. A naked woman sat on the mat, head bowed, lost in thought. Seeing me enter, she quickly stood up: "Hello."
I saw Lu'er's familiar and warm face again; she seemed even more beautiful than before. I smiled involuntarily, closing the door behind me. A voice sounded from the doorway: "Countdown begins. Please finish mating within thirty minutes."
Thirty minutes was too short. I longed to spend every single second with Lu'er. But there was no way; each person was limited to thirty minutes. I could only hurry. I smiled at Lu'er and said, "Lu'er, I read a collection of poems today, written by a man named Shelley. Let me read you a poem:
'...Only your light, like a mist drifting over the mountain peaks, or like the night wind passing through a harp...'"
Before I could finish, Lu'er interrupted me, somewhat puzzled and timid, "I'm sorry, I don't understand. b-2241-du004t-0583, may I mate with you?"
I was stunned. 0583? I immediately realized that the previous Lu'er had already been disposed of. She had served for over six hundred days. Due to the frequent mating, her body aged rapidly, so these women were disposed of within a thousand days.
Before me was a new Lu'er, the fourth Lu'er, and my only Lu'er. But once again, I felt sadness. Yet I still smiled and said, "Ah, it's alright. I'll tell you, you are Lu'er, and I am Dawn. You are my lover, and also my mother. We shouldn't call it mating, but love." Lulu
opened her beautiful eyes wide in confusion. Her eyes were so pure, so indescribably pure, like the stars I saw in a book. Then, just like the previous two times, she tilted her head slightly and asked softly, "I'm Lulu? What does that mean?"
"Lulu is your name."
"What is a name?"
"It's what you're called as a person, indicating that you're different from others."
"Oh... so, Dawn is your name?"
"Yes, actually, you told me all of this."
"You were told this by the me from before, weren't you? You knew another me before?"
"Yes... I knew three of you before. Number b-2241-du004t-0528, number 0559, and number 0577." "Thinking of No. 0577, the last Lu'er, I feel a pang of sadness. I wonder where No. 0578, No. 0579... are they? Are they like the first Lu'er, becoming sex slaves or toys of some natural being, or are they working on some farm? Serving in some hotel? Or even... like the captain vaguely mentioned, being eaten?
" "Oh. I only gained self-awareness yesterday, I don't know these things." "
It's okay, I'll tell you."
"Hmm, there are many things you just said that I don't understand. What does 'lover' mean? We clones are all cultivated in incubation tanks, we don't have mothers, aren't you? Also, what is love?"
"Lover means that we are two people who love each other. We clones don't have mothers, but our clone sources are natural beings, they have mothers and children. Your clone source is the mother of my clone source. So, you are also my mother. As for making love, that's a special way of saying mating between lovers." "
Lu'er blinked in confusion, trying her best to understand what I was saying. It was indeed difficult to understand. It took me a long time to understand that Lu'er was my mother.
—Back when it was the second Lu'er, I told her the same thing: I am Dawn, she is Lu'er, we are lovers, but she asked a question I hadn't thought of: 'I am Lu'er… I understand. But where did I come from?' Where did I come from
? This question bothered me for days. Finally, I went to ask Dawn, and he said, 'This… is a bit troublesome. I haven't tried to bypass the second level of firewall yet. Wait a few days and see.' I did
n't understand any of this, but a few days later he told me that he had finally logged into the government database using the sorting center's main control computer and found my and Lu'er's information.
'b-2241-du004t-0559, let me tell you how to interpret this: b refers to female, 2241 indicates the year your clone source died. d - political prisoner. u - executed. 004 - the number of the fourth person executed for the same crime in that year. t - forced cloning.'" 0559 - The 559th clone. Here's a brief file: This person was executed for treason on January 2nd, 2241, for opposing the Cloning Act, and was forcibly conscripted as a clone source.
"What about mine?"
"You were executed in 2258 for the same crime. By the way, your files are specially related, I really didn't expect that..."
Dawn looked very surprised, and I quickly asked, "What happened?"
"Lu'er's clone source is your clone source's mother—" Dawn stared intently at me.
"Mother? ...I don't quite understand."
"That's right, biologically speaking, Lu'er is your mother."
"Then Lu'er is my mother? I have a mother?" I was overjoyed.
"I'm not sure if the current Lu'er is your current mother. Genetically, yes, but you two individuals never met. 0559 was even born more than a thousand days later than you..."
I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed: "Can't we clones really have a mother?" "
Dawn suddenly laughed, looking at me and saying loudly, 'If you think she is, then she is. — Or rather, if you want her to be, then she is your mother. Why not? Originally, her genes came first, then yours, and half of your genes come from her.'
I became happy again: 'I know. Lu'er is my mother! I have a mother!' I was so happy I didn't know what to do. Suddenly, I remembered something and asked nervously, 'In that book you showed me last time, it said you can't mate with your own mother... right?'
Dawn only answered me with one word: 'Pah.'

I talked to Lu'er for a long time, and she listened attentively the whole time, rarely asking questions. After a while, she suddenly laughed: 'Oh dear, I forgot about work. You came here today to—make love? —Right?'
I smiled and said, 'Yes. I come to make love with you once every five days.'
'That's a strange way of putting it, but it sounds better than 'mate.' Come on, let's make love.'
'Okay.' " I smiled and lay down on the mat. Lulu lowered her head to my crotch and took my genitals—I'd read about them in a book—into her mouth. Her mouth was as moist and warm as ever, and my penis quickly became engorged, hard and thick.
Lulu sucked rhythmically, her dark hair falling over my lower abdomen, obscuring her face. A dazed pleasure surged through my penis, and I wanted to enjoy it a little longer, but thirty minutes was far too short, and talking to her had already taken up most of that time.
"Hurry up," I thought. I reached out and stroked her head, whispering, "Lu'er."
She smiled, looked up at me, understood, and lay back on the mat, her white thighs spread wide, her hands reaching between her legs to part her pink labia. The tender, rosy flesh glistened with moisture, exuding an instinctive allure. I skillfully gripped my penis and slowly inserted it into the soft crevice.
Lu'er moved her hands away and hugged my back. I inserted my entire penis into her vagina and then breathed heavily. Her vagina had become much tighter; every woman serving here, over time, mating with dozens of men every day, would cause her vagina to become increasingly loose. The last Lu'er was probably disposed of for this reason.
Lu'er's vagina was hot and moist, pressing tightly against my penis. I called softly,
"Mama."
Lu'er smiled and replied, "Dawn."
I leaned down and embraced her neck, my chest pressing against her soft breasts, and began to thrust forcefully. Her vagina secreted a lot of mucus—I knew that women serving here were always in this state—making her vagina tight, yet allowing me to move smoothly. The intense pleasure quickly brought me to my limit, and I ejaculated with low, panting breaths.
Lulu held me tightly; they didn't experience pleasure, I knew, they existed only to satisfy our sexual desires. But Lulu's expression remained content, and I knew why: for a female clone without the right to reproduce, being a mother, even though she didn't quite understand what motherhood meant, was enough.
Actually, I didn't quite understand what motherhood meant either. What's the difference between a mother and a lover? In books, lovers kiss, and mothers and children kiss. Love exists between lovers, and mothers and children love each other. Perhaps, as long as she loves me, she can be my mother, and as long as I'm willing, I can make her my mother.
That's what motherhood… feels like. I quietly leaned against Lulu's chest, tilting my head to press my ear against her firm breast, listening to her calm, gentle heartbeat. Lulu cradled my head, gently stroking my cheek. With Lulu, I had a lover and a mother; for a clone, this was a luxury of happiness.
The time had come, and the loudspeaker by the door announced, "Mating time is over. Please leave the changing room."
Reluctantly, I lifted myself from Lulu, withdrawing my limp penis from her vagina, a large glob of white semen flowing out. Semen was utterly useless to us, because while we had sexual desire, we couldn't reproduce—men and women were the same.
Lulu picked up water from the shelf and began cleaning. I whispered, "I'll come back in five days."
"Don't you only come once every ten days?" Lulu carefully wiped my penis.
“I traded my green card for a red card.”
“Oh.”
“I’m leaving now. I’ll tell you about the starry night sky and what poetry is next time. Mom, I love you.”
“Okay, I’ll wait for you. Dawn, I love you.” Lulu smiled as she watched me leave the room. Another male clone waiting outside quickly went in, and I immediately heard Lulu’s sweet voice: “Hello. B-2241-du004t-0583, may I mate with you?”
Leaving Lulu’s room, I went to the real changing room to get a clean uniform and returned to the rest area. Everyone was exhausted after a day’s work, and most people were already fast asleep on their mats. I found my mat and lay down, but I became even more awake, looking up at the darkening night sky. This was the third time I had told Lulu our story. If nothing unexpected happened, I would tell it for the fourth time within a thousand days—if Dawn helped me change my service information. After that, there would be a fifth, a sixth… I suddenly felt a little tired. What was the point of this repetition?
Yes, she is still Lu'er, my lover and mother. I always have a unique sense of closeness to her. Every time, she would say that she wanted to go up there to see the dawn, to see the dewdrops of daybreak, even if she were to be disposed of. "There will still be dawn and Lu'er, we will still love each other, right?"
Yes, as long as it's Lu'er, I will love her. As long as it's me, I will love her, I think that's for sure.
But, is the dawn that saw the sunrise me? The first time I saw Lu'er, she died with such regret, regret for not seeing the moment of dawn. Later, every time Lu'er was disposed of, did she also imagine the scene on the ground with regret?
Perhaps, I should take her to see the ground.
Night had completely fallen, and there wasn't a single ray of light in the entire work area. Darkness surrounded me from all sides. The breathing of others sleeping soundly rose and fell around me, but I kept my eyes wide open, looking straight up at the sky I imagined.
Yes, I really should take Lu'er up there to see those things we've longed for for so long. Since we're both stuck in this endless cycle, I should try to find meaning in life. Even if I'm disposed of, it doesn't matter. I'll still be here, patrolling, working, meeting Lulu, loving her…
If I have the chance, I'll go see Dawn, to show our difference from others. Everyone is unique; we shouldn't just be numbers.
That should be our meaning as human beings.
The next few days were no different from the previous four thousand days. I finished reading Shelley's poems and was with Dawn, searching for fragments of *A History of Western Philosophy*, trying to piece them together. Dawn, however, was troubled, sighing constantly.
"Sigh, I really don't know how to solve the power problem; I'm completely clueless."
I knew nothing about mechanics, so I could only comfort him: "It's okay, take your time. We have time; we'll definitely find the whole book."
"I can't wait to go up and see it. Who knows how long this wait will be? If this hovercar is discovered, I won't have a chance. I might have to take a risk."
"What risk?"
Dawn shook his head, remaining silent.
Five days passed quickly. After finishing my patrol for the day, I eagerly took a shower and went to the changing room.
As usual, I went to Lulu's room. She saw me, stood up on the mat, and looked at me with a smile.
I closed the door, ignoring the annoying electronic notification sound, stepped forward, pulled her naked body into my arms, and kissed her lips deeply. Her lips were warm and soft, and even my taste buds, dulled from not having eaten real food for so long, could easily distinguish the sweetness of her saliva.
I carefully sucked on her lips, and she froze there, somewhat bewildered. Not long ago, I had learned the art of kissing from a book, discovering that a kiss wasn't just about lip contact, but could express so many other ways. I had just taught Lulu these things when she was disposed of. It seemed I would have to teach her again.
But it didn't matter. I tentatively pried open her teeth with my tongue, slipping the tip of my tongue into her warm mouth, beginning to search for her tongue. She seemed a little panicked, but finally reached out and instinctively hugged my bare neck, our tongues intertwining.
I greedily sucked on her tongue, slowly feeling my body begin to burn. Lulu's naked body gradually grew hotter and hotter, until finally I released her lips, panting, and smiled as I looked into her bright eyes.
"Huff..." Lu'er breathed heavily, a blush rising on her fair cheeks. She looked at me curiously and asked, "Why...why did you bite my lips?"
"It's not a bite, it's a kiss."
"A kiss...what does that mean?"
"It's a way for lovers to express their love."
She blinked, her long eyelashes fluttering, her bright eyes filled with curiosity: "Why express love this way?"
"I don't know...but I feel comfortable and happy."
"Oh, it feels strange, my heart is beating so fast, I've never felt this way before."
"Do you like this feeling?"
"Yes." Lu'er smiled slightly: "Can I kiss you?"
"Of course, I love you."
Lu'er didn't speak, but pursed her full lips and leaned in. We kissed passionately again. She was clever—she always has been—and quickly learned to tease my tongue with the tip of her tongue, just like last time.
"Huff..." I gasped, "Lu'er, I want to make love."
"Okay." Lu'er smiled sweetly, "Lie down, I'll give you oral sex first."
She only knew the programmed mating process written into her self-awareness, but I was different. I smiled and said, "I'll stand, and you kneel in front of me to give me oral sex, okay?"
She opened her bright eyes wide in surprise, looked down at my penis, thought for a moment, and smiled, "It seems okay." Saying that, she knelt in front of me, took my engorged penis into her mouth.
I don't know where Li Ming found that tattered book, it was the most worn one in his collection, without a beginning or end, and I didn't even know the title. But that book described many, many ways of mating, and I hadn't had a chance to try them all with Lu'er yet.
"Don't just suck... try licking it with your tongue... the very tip, just like that... mmm, so good..."
Lu'er carefully gave me oral sex while raising her eyes to read my expression to judge the effectiveness of her work. I lowered my head, looking at her smooth body, and remembered the methods of teasing women in that book. Their nipples, genitals, even their ears and soles of their feet could be sensitive. If we were normal, natural people, I should caress her breasts, or perform oral sex on her in a 69 position at the same time.
Unfortunately, we weren't.
Women like Lulu had been engineered to be in a constant state of heightened sexual desire, every day, every hour, every minute. This was to ensure they were always ready to mate—that's what they existed for.
But they didn't experience any pleasure.
I couldn't tease her; I could only selfishly enjoy the pleasure she gave me. I thought, how could this be considered making love? The book said that both parties must experience pleasure and satisfaction for it to be considered making love.
I felt weary and sad again.
Lulu keenly sensed my change in mood, released my penis, and carefully asked, "Dawn, are you uncomfortable?"
"Ah, no, I'm very comfortable."
"But..."
"It's nothing, come here." I reached out and pulled her up, holding her tightly in my arms. She remained obediently silent, letting me hold her smooth shoulder with one hand and slip the other under her knees, supporting her full buttocks and lifting her up. Then, my hard penis slowly slid into her warm, moist vagina.
Lulu reached out and tightly embraced my shoulders, looking at me tenderly. I supported her buttocks with both hands and slowly began to thrust. The heat of her vagina enveloped and pressed against me, bringing wonderful pleasure.
But…
Lulu kept smiling at me, and I thought, I should kiss her. She said she liked the feeling of kissing.
I took her lips into my mouth, and so, I kissed her passionately while making love to her intensely. I didn't last long, ejaculating hot semen inside her vagina.
Reluctantly, I released her, and we both lay limply on the mat. Lulu's eyes were somewhat glazed; I had never seen her look like that before.
"What's wrong?"
"Making love with you feels so good."
"You...feel something?"
"No. Kissing you feels so good, and you hold me so tightly, I know you love me...I just feel so good. I've had sex with over a hundred people these past few days, and this is the first time I've felt this way. Making love and mating are definitely different."
Oh, I see. I finally felt a little better, smiling as I pulled my limp penis out of her vagina. "Let's clean up. I'll tell you about us."
"Okay, okay, go ahead." Lu'er smiled, stood up, picked up a basin of water from the shelf, and began to wipe us both down.
"Look, the night sky we see isn't the real night sky. The real night sky has a moon and lots of stars...some stars twinkle, some don't..."
"What are stars?"
"Stars are tiny specks of light, they come in many colors, red, blue, and some even move, they're called shooting stars..."
...
I don't know how long we talked, but we naturally ended up embracing. Lu'er leaned against me, her face against my chest, her expression focused and longing.
"
Have you seen it?"
"I haven't either. But the captain and Dawn both said that dawn is the most beautiful and glorious moment of the day, so I named myself Dawn."
"I really want to see it."
I remembered my question from last time, paused, and asked softly, "Lu'er, if you have the chance, would you like me to take you to see the sunrise, to see the dawn, to see the dew?"
"Of course I would."
"But... if we do that, we'll be disposed of. Are you scared?"
"I'm not scared. Anyway, I'll be disposed of sooner or later, so what does it matter if this meaningless life is a little longer or shorter?" Lu'er answered without thinking.
"But then you won't be able to see me anymore."
"Hey, there will still be me in the future, and there will be you, right? Dawn and Lu'er will still love each other." Lu'er looked up at me, her eyes big, beautiful, and bright.
Everything was the same as before. Lu'er is Lu'er, always saying the same things.
I gently kissed her eyes: "Okay, I'll definitely find a chance to take you to see the dawn, to see the sunrise."
"Okay, thank you."
The annoying electronic notification finally rang. I stood up: "Then I'll go back. Lu'er, I love you."
"I love you. --Wait."
"What is it?"
"Last time you came, you read a passage, and you said it was called 'poetry'?
" "Yes."
“Although I don’t quite understand it yet, it sounds different from normal speech. These past few days, when no one’s around, I’ve been secretly reciting it by myself. Are there other poems like this?”
“Yes. Do you want to hear it?”
“Yes, yes.”
“Okay. Hmm… I’ll read this part to you.”
“…
I’ll be sad without you, I need you to keep me company through the long, dark nights.
At dawn we will laugh loudly, wearing the shackles we’ve forged ourselves…
”
A few days later, when I came to the automated sorting center again, I saw a tragic scene. Dawn lay motionless beside his dilapidated hovercar, black smoke rising from several places on his body.
I was shocked and rushed over. The life detector showed he wasn’t dead. I reached out and turned him over, seeing his face contorted into a terrifying expression.
“Dawn!” I shouted. He didn’t respond. After thinking for a moment, I got his water and forced it down his throat.
He finally groaned in pain. He grinned, looking at me with difficulty: "Dawn...?"
His voice had completely changed, and I asked helplessly, "What's wrong? This..."
"I... I've assembled... a hovercar engine..." His body convulsed uncontrollably, his distorted face remaining unchanged.
"Ah."
"But I don't know how to charge it... If I can charge it properly... I can... cough cough... I was too hasty... I tried using the cable of the third robotic arm... but the voltage was too high... I got electrocuted..."
"Then, what should we do?" I was terrified; Dawn's condition definitely needed to be addressed. We clones had never encountered anything like the "doctor" described in the books.
"It's such a pity... Cable number two will definitely... cough cough... definitely... as long as it's charged properly, I can see Dawn..." Dawn looked at his hovercar, his face full of regret.
"Teach me how to drive it! I'll take you to see it! And Lulu too!" I shouted. Dawn was my only "friend." The book said that friends, like lovers and relatives, are very important people.
Besides, Dawn had taught me so much. He and Lulu are both my family.
"I... I can't hold on much longer... I'm already paralyzed." Dawn shook his head: "It's midnight up there... I definitely won't live to see the sunrise..."
"What should we do?" I cried out in anguish.
"It's alright, I'm already much luckier than... most people... By the way, go find a chip in my books..."
"A chip?"
"Yes... the size of a fingernail, black, between *The Prince* and *Jin Ping Mei*..."
I quickly ran to where Dawn kept his books and soon found the memory chip he mentioned.
“Here it is.”
He stared at the chip, forcing a twisted smile. “Do me a favor, get me to the main control computer… take this with you.”
I quickly stood up, hoisted him onto my shoulder, and headed towards the control room, asking, “This memory chip… what is it?”
“You’ll find out soon enough… By the way, driving the hovercar is simple. Go to my book… find the copy of *Divine Comedy*. There’s a piece of paper tucked inside; it explains how to drive the hovercar.”
“Oh, I know. Now?”
I put him down in the control room, and he whispered, “On the left side of the control panel, below that red button, there’s a slot… insert the chip.”
I did as he said, and soon, a holographic screen on the main control computer lit up with a scene I’d never seen before.
Blue sky, white clouds, green trees, red flowers, as red as blood.
“Continue, on screen four, in the upper right corner, there’s a circular icon. See it? Click it…”
I did as instructed, but my eyes were glued to the beautiful image. The images kept changing; I saw sandstorms, swirling snowflakes, rushing rivers, fluttering butterflies…
“Enter 847-k001-3353 into the pop-up box…”
I continued operating the computer as Li Ming instructed, but the shock was no less than when I first saw Lu'er. After more than ten minutes of operation under Li Ming's instructions, as I grew increasingly confused about what he was trying to do, he finally said with satisfaction, “It’s done.”
“What is this?” I looked at him curiously; he seemed increasingly weak.
“That chip… is… a landscape documentary… I originally… planned to release this when I repaired the hovercar… and went to the ground… but now I have to release it directly…”
“I still don’t quite understand.”
Li Ming remained silent for a long time. Just as I thought he was dead, he suddenly spoke in a weak voice, "Just now I... taught you... how to log into the government's... projection control center... Now projectors all over the world are playing... this video..."
"Huh?" I was startled. "Why did you do that?"
"I... can't see it myself... so all the clones can see it... it's good... to tell everyone... that humans aren't born... to live under the cover of night... but—"
Dawn's voice trailed off. I waited a long time before walking over and running the life detector across his chest.
He was dead.
I stared at his corpse in horror, my mind blank. This man had taught me so much, most importantly, he had taught me to think. I had become accustomed to learning from him, and my life was therefore more fulfilling than that of countless other clones. He had even brought me Lulu.
That's right, Lulu. I still had Lulu.
I jumped up and rushed towards the sorting center's door. It was quiet all the way, not a soul in sight. —This was the first time I had encountered such a situation since gaining self-awareness.
Where had everyone gone?
I rushed towards the rest area, and finally, after turning a corner, I saw in the distance a dense crowd of people standing there. The night sky above the rest area was projected onto a huge image: green trees, red flowers, blue sky, and white clouds.
All the clones silently looked up, watching it all. Their expressions varied—some were confused, some were bewildered, some were shocked, some were fearful, some were joyful, some were sad.
I even spotted the captain in the crowd; he didn't stop them, but instead, like everyone else, looked up, lost in his memories. Was he recalling the days years ago when he was still serving on the ground?
Where was Lulu? I ran to the locker room door; it was open. All the rooms were empty. I came out again and finally found the female clones in the shadows.
They stood together, also watching silently.
I moved among them, trying to make out each beautiful face, and finally found her.
“Lulu,” I said softly, taking her hand.
“Dawn?” She glanced at me, giving me a questioning look.
She's so clever. I smiled and nodded. "It's Dawn."
"Oh. So beautiful." She exclaimed, tilting her head back, her beautiful eyes reflecting a kaleidoscope of colors.
I grabbed her hand and ran towards the automated sorting center. She asked, puzzled, "What's wrong?"
"I'll tell you later, there are too many people now." I pulled her along as we continued running, but as before, no one noticed us.
We ran all the way to the sorting center and finally stopped to catch our breath. Lulu was also panting heavily, looking at me with a puzzled expression.
"Come on, I'll take you to see the real Dawn."
I led her to the piece of paper in the Divine Comedy and then to the hovercar. I started charging the hovercar with cable number two, and it worked—Dawn rarely makes mistakes.
Lulu stared in disbelief. I didn't bother explaining, opened the piece of paper, and began learning how to drive the hovercar.
"Let's go." I pressed a button by the door of the maintenance room, and the roof slowly opened, revealing the dim night sky. I jumped into the hovercar, sat in the driver's seat, and reached out my hand to Lulu.
Lulu, both nervous and excited, was pulled into the car by me; I was just as nervous and excited. Taking a few deep breaths to calm my nerves, I reached out a trembling hand to grip the control lever, and pressed the start button with my other hand.
The hovercar didn't respond. My heart was pounding in my chest. Could it be… that Dawn hadn't handled something properly?
I pressed the start button again, and this time the hovercar's engine roared to life. I pulled the control lever, and with a scream from Lulu, the hovercar, carrying Lulu and me, slowly rose. Soon, we hovered above the sorting center.
It was the first time I'd seen our work area from this angle; the rows of gray buildings looked like piles of garbage. I used to live amidst this garbage.
Goodbye.
I pulled the control lever, and the hovercar began to move sideways, heading towards the end of the night.
Epilogue:
"This must be the ground now." After passing through a long, suffocating tunnel, a rush of cool air suddenly filled my nostrils. In an instant, my vision opened up. Although the world was still shrouded in darkness, I knew I had arrived under the true night sky.
The air on the ground was so refreshing, carrying an intoxicating fragrance. —There was even the legendary "wind," blowing against my bare skin, making me shiver slightly. I turned to look at Lulu; her hair was flying in the wind as she looked up at the night sky.
The sky was dotted with stars, and there was the Milky Way, which I had seen in books. It was more beautiful and more radiant than I had imagined.
"I can't see the moon..." Lulu whispered.
"Bad luck today," I laughed. Following Dawn's instructions, I set the hovercar's course to due east and started it again.
—Dawn had written on the paper: "If you don't arrive on the ground at dawn, keep heading east."
The hovercar sped eastward. The dilapidated cockpit was just a frame; Dawn couldn't find a complete windshield. The strong wind made it almost impossible for me to open my eyes. Lulu kept gazing up at the night sky. After a while, she whispered, "The stars seem to be getting fewer and fewer, and the sky is getting darker."
I looked up, and sure enough, more and more stars were disappearing, the night sky becoming pitch black, so heavy it felt like it was pressing down on us, with only one or two stars still stubbornly shining.
Could something be wrong? Why is the night getting darker and darker?
The hovercar continued speeding along, a cluster of lights in the distance, probably the natural beings' "city." I wondered when they would find Lulu and me. I wasn't afraid of being caught, I was just afraid of not being able to bring Lulu to see the dawn.
But the hovercar gave a hoarse creaking sound and slowly plummeted towards the ground. After all, it was assembled from parts found in a junkyard, and many parts were still missing. We had been driving for so long, far beyond the two hours expected by dawn.
But... the night sky grew darker and darker.
Finally, the hovercar landed on a grassy field and stopped moving. The chirping of insects could be heard all around, making the space feel empty and silent.
"What's that sound?" Lulu suddenly looked around alertly. I strained my ears and realized that a piercing alarm was blaring from afar behind us.
They had spotted us.
"Run!" I jumped out of the vehicle and shouted to Lulu.
"Run?" Lulu hesitated. I went around to her side, picked up her naked body, and laid her on the ground. "Run. Run... forward, try to see dawn before they catch us."
Lulu understood. She smiled and said, "Run."
I took her hand and we ran barefoot across the grass. We had no shoes, never had. The hard grass stalks, pebbles, clods of earth... prickled my soles, slowly causing pain.
After all, I had walked barefoot for over four thousand days, and most of that time had been spent walking. But Lulu...
now that she was out of the hovercar, I couldn't see her expression in the darkness. But her speed didn't slow down at all; I could hear her rapid breathing.
The alarm behind us grew clearer, and the night grew darker. I slowly began to despair. Suddenly, Lulu stumbled and fell heavily to the ground.
"Ouch." She groaned, and I quickly knelt beside her. "What's wrong?"
"My... my foot hurts, I can't run anymore."
"Let me see." By the dim light of the last two stars, I could barely make out that her foot was bleeding.
"You run by yourself, Dawn, run!" Lulu gasped, urging me on.
"I won't run anymore, I'll stay with you." I knelt before Lulu and hugged her tightly.
"Why? Didn't you want to see the dawn? Go see it!"
"I want to stay with you more, Mom."
The sirens behind us were getting closer, pausing briefly at our abandoned, broken hovercar before approaching again.
"They're coming! If we don't run now, you'll miss your chance!" Lulu cried anxiously.
"I'm sorry, I... I didn't get to see the dawn with you."
"No, thank you, Dawn. You've shown me so much—"
I didn't let her finish, instead kissing her deeply. Lulu froze, then hugged me tightly too. Blinding police lights flashed in the distance; our time was running out. Since we can't see dawn, let's stay with Lulu.
Suddenly, Lulu froze, shoving me away. "Look!"
I turned around, puzzled, and saw a white band of light rising on the horizon. In an instant, heaven and earth, light and darkness, night and day separated. The dark sky was instantly dyed a deep blue, so distant, unlike the somber, dim night I'd seen before.
Was this dawn? Was this sunrise?
Lulu and I stared in disbelief at it all, watching the sky gradually brighten, watching the first rays of sunlight illuminate the clouds, watching the clouds paint a kaleidoscope of colors.
With a whoosh, an electromagnetic rifle bullet grazed my cheek, the air pressure making my eardrums ache. They had probably given orders to dispose of it on the spot; the next bullet might end my life, or Lu'er's.
But what did it matter? Lu'er and I had seen the dawn, the sunrise, though brief, we had finally escaped the eternal night.
I turned my head, smiling at Lu'er. Her eyes were large, beautiful, and bright, reflecting the changing light of the sunset, and looking at me too. I seemed to hear the dawn tapping on her bare skin, splashing out melodious notes.
It's alright, I smiled. There have been many dawns and Lu'er before, and there will be many more dawns and Lu'er in the future.
One day, we will meet again in the river of time.

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