Wife's Thoughts

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

That year, I wasn't even nineteen yet, and just like that, I went from a girl to a woman.

On our wedding night, Zhen and I drank a few sips of liquor at the urging of relatives and friends. After the guests left, Liu Zhen carried me into the bridal chamber.

Lying on the bed, he began to gently remove my dress. The moment my clothes were slowly removed, I couldn't suppress the panic in my heart; my blood began to rush through my body. I tried my best to suppress my excitement, waiting for that moment to arrive. In

the naive and confused days of my youth, I longed for that mysterious sex, but when it was about to happen to me, I felt fear.

In mutual caresses, we embraced naked.

My shy breasts began to spasm under his playful teasing, and my whole body convulsed. Yes, I had fantasized countless times about being caressed like this by a man, and then the two of us making love passionately.

Breathing heavily, I whispered in his ear, "I've heard them say a woman's first time is very painful, is that true? I'm a little scared."

He stroked my fragrant hair and kissed me with his sensual lips.

He said, "It's okay, every girl has a first time. I'll go slower later, and if it hurts, just scream."

I said, "I'm a little nervous, afraid of bleeding."

He stroked my body gently, careful not to hurt me.

"It's okay, relax."

In his sweet caresses, I forgot the excruciating pain when he penetrated me. That night, I experienced the mysterious life that boys and girls yearn for. From the moment crimson blood stained the white sheets, I had transformed from a girl into a woman.

Liu Zhen was a gentle man in that area; he cared about my feelings, asking for my opinion as we made love. I knew he wanted me to reach peak satisfaction.

Looking at his blissful face afterward, I felt so happy. I thought, I must cherish this considerate man I've met in this life.

I lay in the crook of his arm, savoring the lingering warmth of our recent ecstasy.

"Was that good? Does it still hurt?" he asked affectionately.

I nodded contentedly.

He smiled; I knew he too had found satisfaction in me.

Married life became increasingly dull. Liu Zhen and I had married without much understanding of each other. Gradually, his laziness and lecherous nature surfaced. He frequently got into fights with street thugs and frequented brothels. After I learned of these things, I argued with him many times, but each time I ended up with bruises and welts on my body. Bored

, I learned to play mahjong. In my spare time, I would go to the neighboring women to practice my skills.

One day, I returned home from playing mahjong and found the door unlocked. I quietly entered the living room and heard a series of pleasurable moans coming from my mother's room.

These familiar moans attracted me, and I went to the bedroom and pressed my ear to the crack in the door to eavesdrop.

"You lecherous devil, you're getting bolder and bolder. Every time the old man leaves, you sneak over here to bully me." It was my mother-in-law's voice. From her satisfied tone, I guessed they had already had their fun.

"You must be really hungry. If you hadn't eaten too little tonight, would I have had this chance?" the man teased.

My mother-in-law said, "Don't let his big, strong appearance fool you. He's terrible in this area. He always finishes in a few quick strokes. I just happen to get aroused by him, and then the 'fire extinguisher' goes out. What am I supposed to do if I don't find a 'fire extinguisher'?"

The man said, "I'm pretty good at this, aren't I? You always scream like a pig being slaughtered."

My mother-in-law said, "You annoying rascal, bullying me and then talking flirtatious nonsense."

Hearing this flirtatious conversation made me burning with desire, and my hands began to wander unconsciously over my chest.

After a burst of laughter and playful fighting, the house fell silent. I quickly stopped what I was doing and fled the house like a thief.

That night, Liu Zhen staggered into the bedroom. I knew he'd gone out drinking with his bunch of buddies again. I'd lost count of how many nights he'd come home drunk like this.

He rubbed his eyes, let out a few burps, and the room instantly reeked of alcohol. I couldn't imagine how I'd survived like this.

"Honey, still not asleep? Can't sleep alone? Waiting for me to come back?" he mumbled, pulling at his clothes.

I covered the lower half of my face with the blanket and didn't answer. He

'd probably drunk too much; he couldn't get one shirt off for ages, clutching the hem and pulling it up with all his might. Seeing his comical state on the bed, I couldn't help but laugh and get annoyed at the same time.

He mumbled, "What's going on? This shirt suddenly looks too small today. That brat will wear it tomorrow."

I said, "Do you want me to hand you a pair of scissors? Looks like you can't get out of there."

Seeing that he'd been busy all day without getting his clothes off, I got up to help him. After all, he was still my husband, and I couldn't bear to see him so pathetic.

But my tenderness and care didn't earn him any appreciation. Before I could even put the clothes down, he suddenly pushed me down onto the bed.

Perhaps the white, transparent nightgown had given him endless fantasies, arousing his lust.

His lips, reeking of alcohol, were rubbing against my face, his stubble stinging my skin.

"Honey, go take a shower, I'll be waiting for you."

Liu Zhen, consumed by lust, paid no attention to any of this, just relentlessly sucking and licking me. Normally, I wouldn't have been able to resist such teasing from a man; I'd probably be burning with passion by now. But tonight, no matter how much this man moved on me, I felt no interest whatsoever; instead, I felt a little disgusted. Looking

at the man groping and sucking on my body, I suddenly felt completely unfamiliar with him.

Under the influence of alcohol, his actions were so rough. My breasts ached from his pinching, but I dared not stop him, fearing another beating from Liu Zhen.

Suddenly, a commotion came from the next bedroom. My parents lived there. My father's voice was loud, filled with resentment.

He said, "What are you doing? We're husband and wife. Do you think it's so difficult for me to have sex with you?"

My mother said, "You have the nerve to say that? Every time, you're like that, mechanically going through the motions on me for a while and then rolling over and falling asleep. You don't even think about my feelings. Every time we make love, I feel nothing at all."

Perhaps because my mother didn't want to cooperate, the two of them started arguing about pleasure in the middle of the night.

Women, why are they always so pathetic in that aspect? When I heard my mother say that mechanical way of venting, my heart trembled slightly, because all of this had happened to me.

"Look at how miserable you are, it's so boring." It was my father's voice.

"If it's boring, then go to sleep. I don't want to do it anyway."

After a while, the movements and the commotion stopped.

A piercing pain shot through my lower body as Liu Zhen forced his way into my dry body. Tears streamed down my face from the pain. Just like Mom had said, I felt nothing during this kind of sex.

Every time Liu Zhen came home drunk, he had a habit of wanting to have sex with women, and I had become his tool for venting his lust. I was always terrified whenever I saw him come home drunk at night.

He was used to ravaging me. In his eyes, I was like a toy, devoid of emotion and uncaring about my feelings, only knowing how to vent his frustrations on me.

Sometimes I wondered, what kind of love is this marriage? But then I thought, what can an uneducated woman do without him? At least in this home, I have food and clothing.

After tormenting me for over half an hour, Liu Zhen finally rolled off me, panting heavily. Without my cooperation, I knew he was exhausted too; throughout the entire ordeal, I gritted my teeth and endured the pain.

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