6 ways to prolong the freshness of your marriage

page views:1 Publication date:2023-05-02 08:17:22

Statistics show that in the 19th century, people who married were prepared for a long-term relationship, even until their partner died. The reason was simple: the average marriage lasted 43 years. However, statistics show that the "shelf life" of marriages today is typically only 9 years. Currently, in medium-sized and larger cities, about 50% of marriages end in failure, yet 72% of people believe in true love, and 69% believe they have experienced true love.
But the question remains: can love truly survive in marriage? Is marriage a paradise or a grave for love?
Option A: Reward him for talking more.
Since we women love to hear sweet words, and we know that most men don't like to say them, why don't we, like Pavlov did when he studied "conditioned reflexes," implement some kind of reward mechanism for their sweet words? We should start doing this from the beginning of their courtship, cultivating in them the good habit of "expressing love."
When he compliments you, saying "You look so beautiful today," remember: never call him silly; when he says, "You're the most elegant girl I know," never say, "Stop being so cheesy." We all know that we women love hearing cheesy things—without the romantic atmosphere created by those words, our love would seem so pale. Therefore, you must learn to let him know what you need and what you like. Whenever he says the sweet words you want to hear, reward him with what he desires most.
Option B: Learn to enjoy "doing"
The "doing" here doesn't refer to cooking or housework. You know, we're talking about sex. For most women, our desire for sex is always less than men's. Besides work, we have endless housework; besides our careers, we constantly worry about our families. We might refuse our husbands' requests for sex for various reasons, such as being too busy, too tired, too stressed, or too annoyed. But for men, being busy, tired, annoyed, and stressed don't affect their libido; on the contrary, it might even intensify it. This might be related to physiological structure, or it might be due to hormones—in any case, it's a reality. And we need to confirm this reality.
At the same time, we can learn to enjoy and appreciate the pleasure of sex. Since we can work like men in society, why can't we enjoy sex like men in our private lives? Perhaps we aren't naturally as sexually fantasizing as men, but we can use movies and books to stimulate ourselves. Watching erotic DVDs at home, or reading a few pages of a romantic and moving book before bed—it's both relaxing and arousing, so why not?
Option C: Don't force yourself to be a role model.
From elementary school onwards, we've been accustomed to "learning from Lei Feng, a good example." Role models are everywhere in society, and exemplary figures are in every aspect of life. Magazines say that a good woman should be both a good cook and a presentable lady. So, we constantly put pressure on ourselves—to be a model employee at work and a model wife at home…
In reality, the more a woman loves herself, the more love she will receive. Conversely, the more a woman sacrifices herself, the more others will overlook her existence. Don't constantly buy him clothes, dressing him up like a celebrity, while you always wear outdated, discounted supermarket clothes, making yourself look more like a maid than his wife. If one day he cheats on you, people will laugh at you for being old and shabby. By then, it will be too late for regrets.
You must never be stingy with money. You must persist in a woman's natural love of beauty. As long as your finances allow, try your best to satisfy your own desires and make yourself happy—buy whichever dress you want, go on a trip if you want, and sign up for a French class if you feel like learning a few words... You must make yourself happy first and worry about others' worries later—if you continue like this, you will definitely become an optimistic, content, and beautiful wife, and will never become a resentful woman.
It's important to understand that a resentful woman will never have any passion or tenderness in her marriage.
Option d: Let yourself go bad
The theory that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" by Eileen Chang is outdated! The current theory is: the way to a man's heart is through his sex life.
Nowadays, there are countless restaurants offering delicious food, and even if you use all your skills, you can't possibly master the best of Cantonese, Shandong, Sichuan, and Hunan cuisines. So, you can leave his stomach to the chefs at the restaurant, but you'll have to take responsibility for his sexual needs. Satisfying a man's sexual desires is usually not as complicated as cooking.
If you dare to face reality and put the same effort into studying the "bad ways" of a vixen into preparing for the TOEFL and GRE, I guarantee your husband will be constantly smitten with you, unable to shake you off. If you don't have a vixen around willing to teach you, no problem, there are plenty of bad women in movies. Once you've mastered the art, not only your husband, but all the men around you will fall at your feet. At that point, remember not to give up halfway; you must be thoroughly "bad." You can go on dates with any man who excites you—even if it makes your husband a little jealous. Remember, the more sought-after something is, the tighter people tend to hold onto it.
Option e: Become his buddy
Back in the day, Wang Shuo wrote a novel called "Half Flame, Half Sea." That was essentially every man's ideal woman. Men all hope that their women, when passionate in bed at night, are as turbulent as the sea; and during the day, as fiercely loyal and courageous as fire. Therefore, you can be as passionately devoted as a "vixen" in private, but in public, you absolutely cannot be too fussy or hesitant.
Calling his workplace frequently during work hours is a major no-no. You could go shopping with a friend or meet up with a boyfriend who's interested in you for coffee, but whatever you do, don't bother your husband.
If he's incredibly busy and asks you to go with his mother to the airport to pick up his uncle from his hometown, don't haggle. Just agree without hesitation: "Don't worry, I've got it covered"—that's what a true friend does. He won't forget your kindness.
Option f: Love yourself more than you love him
For a long time, the so-called traditional virtues of Chinese women, which are full of self-sacrifice, have not only produced generations of Chen Shimei (a notorious womanizer in Chinese folklore), but have also turned women into resentful wives.
If he's incredibly busy and asks you to go with his mother to the airport to pick up his uncle from his hometown, don't haggle. Just agree without hesitation: "Don't worry, I've got it covered"—that's what a true friend does. He won't forget your kindness.

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6 ways to prolong the freshness of your marriage

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