Sinking into the Sea of Desire: A Wife-Swapping Man's Confession - Chapter 355 The Wife's Monologue 23

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I was somewhat startled by my own thoughts, wondering what was wrong with me. Whether it was a compromise with Lei's desires or a compromise with my own inner desires, I ultimately agreed.
The thought of where I was, the thought of being seen at any moment, made me incredibly nervous, and it was precisely this nervousness that gave rise to a unique kind of pleasure. Lei seemed to be stimulated by the environment as well, his movements becoming very wild. I tried my best to restrain myself, but I couldn't help it, and soon I was lost in desire.
Sure enough, someone passed by later, and I was too scared to make a sound, yet my need only intensified. I didn't feel evil or depraved, but I couldn't stop the physical and spiritual demands that had broken through all shackles.
Limited by time and place, although it didn't last very long, we were both very satisfied. The thrill of that moment was something we couldn't experience in bed normally. I actually started to vaguely like that feeling, that blushing, heart-pounding, thrilling fear like having an affair.
After we finished, Lei asked me to come again sometime. I said on the surface that I would never do it again, but I wasn't really that determined.
Not long after, I went to another gathering with Lei. After a few times, whether it was numbness, compromise, or habit, I seemed to have become accustomed to these gatherings. I no longer resisted them, nor was I afraid of them. On the contrary, when I was alone, I would occasionally think about them, about the people at the club and what had happened.
That night, I danced with the others in the dim light. It felt strange—a mix of anticipation, shyness, excitement, and nervousness. I couldn't see who was in front of me, yet I had to cooperate. Perhaps because I had only recently joined the club, many men were very enthusiastic towards me, constantly groping me while we danced.
I was filled with shame and anger, yet also excitement. I even thought this was a perfect opportunity to catch Lei and see if he would make a mistake when he mistook me for someone else. I forgot how many men I passed before I finally reached him. As soon as I got close, I knew it was him. I was not only familiar with his hands, but I could also easily recognize his scent.
Whether it was the alcohol numbing effect or my head being already dizzy from being surrounded by those women, Lei initially didn't seem to notice me. His hands were roaming all over my body, and I felt both sweet and troubled. Thinking that he must have been doing the same thing to those women, I couldn't help but give him a hard time.
No, even though my heart ached a little, I didn't find it as unacceptable as before. What's done is done, and I could only accept reality, quietly leaning against him, hoping he wouldn't become too swayed. During this time, he deliberately tested me, putting his hand under me, which made me a little troubled and scared. But after he noticed, he didn't say anything.
After the party ended, when it was time to choose partners, it was the women's turn to "catch" the men. I felt a little shy, but mostly adventurous curiosity and anticipation. I kept thinking about who I would catch, and at that point I couldn't even tell which way was which. Only after the person I caught left did I see that it was Wu Peng. I had seen this man a few times, but we hadn't said much to each other.
I can't say whether it's a habit or I've become decadent, but everything feels natural now. When I left the villa, I wasn't so afraid anymore. I relied on Lei and got straight into Wu Peng's car.
I knew Wu Peng was a photographer; he was the one who took the photos when I went to the square to hand over the embezzled money. Perhaps because of his profession, he was very good at praising women. As soon as I got in the car, he said I was beautiful and charming. And his praise wasn't like the perfunctory compliments of other men; he could point to certain beautiful features of my body and say convincing things. He could also give many examples, saying I resembled someone else and why I was beautiful.
Women love to be praised, especially genuine praise. We quickly became acquainted, and Wu Peng would often teach me makeup tips to make me look prettier, more energetic, and more elegant.
Wu Peng and I arrived at the club before Lei. We chatted and before we knew it, we were in a room. I was a little surprised to see him holding a camera, but then he offered to take pictures of me. I hesitated, but I thought to myself, after all, women care a lot about their appearance, and a beautiful photo might be the only way to preserve evidence so I could look back on it in the future. I couldn't resist Wu Peng's persuasion and finally gave in.
While taking photos, he kept praising how beautiful I looked and occasionally pointed out my expressions and suggested more flattering poses. At first, the photos were relatively modest and within my acceptable range, but as the conversation progressed, his demands became increasingly explicit.
Every time Wu Peng took a beautiful photo, he would get excited, praising it and feeling proud for a long time. I couldn't tell if I was intoxicated by his praise or just liked the atmosphere, but I no longer resisted his subsequent requests. By the time I came to my senses, only my last line of defense remained.
Wu Peng suggested that I be bolder and shoot more boldly, but thinking of Lei, I still didn't dare, and I couldn't get over my own mental hurdle.
Wu Peng finally came up with a solution: he asked me to cover my sensitive areas with my hands. Actually, putting aside my hesitation and timidity, I still wanted to take the picture. I drank two glasses of wine to bolster my courage and finally complied with his suggestion.
During the photoshoot, the only thing I insisted on wearing was those pink high heels; I never took them off because Lei had given them to me. Even though he wasn't by my side, I still hoped that the photos would contain his memories.

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