Wife's Desire: A Labyrinth of Desire - Chapter Ninety-Eight: When We Were Young, Our Spring Clothes Were Thin

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In the dimly lit car, Lin Yuxin continued to recount her past to me in a low voice.
My roommate, the class monitor Zhong Lixin, and I are quite close. Zhong Lixin is of average build, has a decent appearance, and is quite lively and capable, with excellent academic performance. We, along with the class monitor Sun Qingpeng and the sports and arts monitor Teng Xiangling, often get together to discuss class matters, so the four of us are also quite close. She has a crush on Teng Xiangling, but because of me, Teng Xiangling doesn't seem to reciprocate her feelings.
Once, to prepare for our class activity on New Year's Day, the four of us agreed to go shopping together, of course, after obtaining the school's permission beforehand—that's how strict the school's management is. We passed a photo studio, and Teng Xiangling suddenly suggested that the four of us take a group photo. Zhong Lixin naturally responded enthusiastically, the class monitor also smiled and said it was okay, and I agreed as well.
When the photo was taken, Zhong Lixin and I stood in the front row, while Teng Xiangling and the class monitor stood in the back. After the photos were rushed out, it was clear from the pictures that all four of us looked great in them. Our expressions were natural smiles, radiating youthful energy. Perhaps everyone was in a good mood that day, and the photographer was also very skilled, so the photos turned out exceptionally well.
In the second semester of our senior year, perhaps due to the school's relaxed management of upperclassmen, or perhaps because we were growing up, we started interacting more. Having always been indecisive about my feelings, I gradually focused my attention on the class monitor. Partly because I disliked Teng Xiangling's domineering attitude and lack of teamwork, and partly because Zhong Lixin had a crush on him, I began secretly exchanging pleasantries with the class monitor.
The more we interacted, the more I discovered the shining qualities of our class monitor: he was kind, easy-going, humorous, understanding, and adept at handling interpersonal relationships. He not only had good relationships with classmates but also with teachers and school leaders. He possessed a natural leadership quality, capable of winning people over. Beneath his unassuming exterior lay a multitude of talents. He could paint oil paintings, play the harmonica and accordion, and was proficient in various sports and chess. He had a broad knowledge base, wrote excellent articles, and had good oratory skills. He joined the Party while still in school, and his academic performance was impeccable. In fact, many female classmates admired the class monitor's talent and affability, but everyone could see that he liked me, so naturally, they were afraid of rejection and dared not approach him.
Teng Xiangling probably sensed my fondness for the class monitor and felt resentful that I was gradually distancing myself from him, given my superior qualities. As graduation approached, he became anxious, repeatedly passing me notes, but I didn't respond enthusiastically. Finally, he lost his temper and, taking advantage of a moment when I was walking back to the dormitory alone after evening self-study, he stopped me on the way. In front of everyone, he begged me not to underestimate him and to give him a chance to pursue me, promising to try his best.
While he was pestering me, Zhong Lixin, who was walking behind, witnessed everything. I saw her turn away sadly. Not wanting to embarrass myself in public, I cruelly rejected Teng Xiangling to his face. I quoted school rules forbidding students from dating, explaining that I wanted to focus on my studies and further my education, that the school had already recommended me for graduate school, and that I didn't want my studies to be affected by a relationship—the usual platitudes. Of course, I also mentioned Zhong Lixin's feelings for him and that I didn't want to betray my good friend. Then, disregarding Teng Xiangling's reaction, I walked past him resolutely and left.
As I turned the corner at the intersection, I instinctively turned my head and saw Teng Xiangling's tall, thin figure still standing alone under the streetlight, looking so pitiful and desperate. A sudden pang of pity struck me, and I stopped, silently questioning myself whether I had gone too far, whether I had been too heartless and unfair to Teng Xiangling. Honestly, I admired Teng Xiangling's tall and handsome appearance; in terms of looks and family background alone, we were a better match. Should I reject his advances simply because of his immature personality flaws and Zhong Lixin's secret crush on him?
I hesitated, conflicted. I wanted to go back and try to persuade him. Even if I didn't want to accept his advances, I could still offer him some advice and comfort out of friendship. But then I thought of the class monitor and Zhong Lixin's heartbroken expression after witnessing what had just happened. So, I resolutely turned and left.
Back in the dorm, I saw Zhong Lixin sleeping with her head covered by the blanket, but the blanket kept twitching, so I guessed she must be sobbing uncontrollably. I gestured for my other roommates to leave, and they all tactfully left. Then I lifted the blanket and saw that she was still dressed, but her face was covered in tears, and she was sobbing uncontrollably.
I secretly rejoiced that my decision to leave so decisively was the right one. Although I had hurt Teng Xiangling's feelings, I hadn't hurt the feelings of two other people—Zhong Lixin and the class monitor. I hugged the sobbing Zhong Lixin and told her that there was nothing between me and Teng Xiangling, and that I cared more about my relationship with the class monitor. She could confidently pursue Teng Xiangling because he had been hurt by me and needed emotional comfort. A man as outstanding as Teng Xiangling deserved a girl's initiative; no one would look down on her.
Lying alone in bed that night, I suddenly regretted choosing the National University of Defense Technology. I have a beautiful face and the right to choose an excellent boyfriend, but because I'm in a military academy, I'm restricted in many ways, my social circle is narrow, and I can't even meet the boys I really like. Neither the class monitor nor Teng Xiangling are quite satisfactory. Am I destined to wait until I finish my postgraduate studies, start working, and then find someone I truly love in society?
That night I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Xiaowei, can you believe it? Even a girl like me could be so confused and sleepless about my future love and marriage.
I chimed in: "It's true that military academy management is strict, but didn't you find your current husband? So how did your relationship with the squad leader and the sports and arts committee member develop?"
Lin Yuxin sighed and said, "I was recommended for graduate school, and Zhong Lixin also got into a graduate program in another major. Teng Xiangling didn't get in, but the squad leader did. However, on the eve of graduation, the army urgently needed a group of professionals, and both Teng Xiangling and the squad leader were selected. After much consideration, the squad leader decided to give up graduate school and join the army in the remote southwest frontier, which puzzled me."
I found him and tried to persuade him to change his mind, but he said that a true man's ambition lies in serving his country, and he and Teng Xiangling, wearing red flowers on their chests, went to Tibet amidst the farewells of their classmates. Zhong Lixin and I saw them off with tears in our eyes, our hearts suddenly feeling empty and indescribably sad. A year after they left, I missed them dearly and hoped that one day I could rekindle our friendship and have the opportunity to express my feelings to the class monitor. But I also understood that military discipline was strict for them, and they had no choice in the matter, making it even more difficult to see them.

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Wife's Desire: A Labyrinth of Desire - Chapter Ninety-Eight: When We Were Young, Our Spring Clothes Were Thin

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