Yellow Love

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-10 08:15:22

Yellow Romance
************ ************ ************ ************ ************ Purely fictional ************ ************ ************ Prologue
These past few days, the snow and fog have been lingering, the colors are gray and the emotions are faint, making one's thoughts wander. I don't know why rain and snow are described as "lustful," but the truth is that in this kind of weather, emotions and desires surge up, especially past sex and love entangle your mind, making it restless. So I got up and wrote this story. Please, friends who see it, do not associate it with me. Regardless of whether it is true or false, let it melt into the snowflakes, and in the spring sunshine, melt into the earth. (I) Meeting a Couple
It was in 2002. At that time, there was a very popular online chat room. The reason for its popularity was that there were many horny friends there. There were wife-swapping, threesomes, incest, SM, xywc, etc. I still don't understand the meaning of some of the characters. In this crazy virtual world, I met a couple. The man was named Zhuang Yuan, thirty-four years old, and the woman was named Cheng Mei, thirty-two years old. We discussed playing threesomes. It sounded exciting, and I was thrilled. They were even more excited than me, especially Zhuang Yuan. He and I discussed and researched it online every day. What were we researching? His wife, Cheng Mei, had a mental burden. Although Zhuang Yuan had persuasive and persistent efforts, and even used some tricks to get her to try other men, those men were acquaintances of theirs, and those two or three sexual encounters were all with that man alone. Zhuang Yuan was just the planner, hiding behind the scenes. This time, she had to face a stranger like me, and in front of her husband. She didn't know how she could accept me and was very worried. She almost gave up. She couldn't possibly go and commit rape with her husband, and then be the only one to go to jail while they continued their lives. Zhuang Yuan got anxious and started encouraging me, then told me good news: when his wife was being horny, she said she liked my appearance in the video. Although I wasn't handsome, I looked healthy and energetic, and seemed like an honest and reliable young man. I loved hearing that, especially from his wife. What made me even more excited was that his wife kept gesturing with my penis after seeing it. Although she didn't say it, I could tell she wanted to use me. That was enough. I was ready. As for his wife, Zhuang Yuan had plenty of plans. The first time we met, we ate together and then played cards in a park for an afternoon, which eased the awkwardness. The second time we met, they came to my dorm. It was a weekend, and no one was there. They brought a bunch of cooked and semi-cooked food, and we ate another meal using my makeshift stove. He started joking around and trying to set us up, like he was playing matchmaker. But the matchmaker only said "I won't leave," making her shy and me shy, and I was all a little horny. (Part Two) The Night of the Threesome
Our third meeting was also a weekend, and I went to their house. When I got home, I found a cute little girl, so I quickly went out and bought some snacks. They greeted me politely. Cheng Mei was busy cooking, while Zhuang Yuan and I drank tea and smoked. Just as the meal was almost ready, an old woman stormed in and took the child away. Before leaving, she pointed at the snacks on the table and berated Zhuang Yuan, warning him to return the child on time if he picked him up again. I didn't understand whose child it was. Zhuang Yuan said it was his mother, who doted on the child. After the child left, Zhuang Yuan told me gleefully that Cheng Mei hadn't gotten used to me yet, and to prevent things from happening today, she had specifically gone to pick up the child. It seemed like things were going to get interesting today, but I hoped no rape would occur. Thinking this to myself, the meal was ready—several dishes. Zhuang Yuan even brought out some baijiu (Chinese liquor). Cheng Mei probably sensed something was up and disagreed with drinking. Zhuang Yuan said that since we were two men, she didn't know what to say and just looked at me. I smoothed things over, saying it was hot and a little beer would be fine. Even if it were just soda, Zhuang Yuan had a plan to leave his wife alone; beer would be even better. While eating, we drank beer, and Cheng Mei drank a soft drink. After dinner, we continued drinking beer, but started playing rock-paper-scissors. Cheng Mei was assigned to supervise the game, but she was distracted for a moment, and her husband cheated. I'm usually reserved, but I loosen up once I start drinking, and I yelled at him for cheating. Cheng Mei didn't see where he was cheating, so I said, "Fine, you'll have to drink a glass for not supervising properly."
Cheng Mei refused to drink, giving me two choices: either join the game or drink a glass and continue supervising.
So, Cheng Mei, realizing her punishment, kept shouting to join the game until her tongue was sore and she was unsteady on her feet. Then she vomited violently and went to bed, but she couldn't move; any movement made her want to vomit. I waited until bedtime without finding a chance to leave, but Zhuang Yuan, unwilling to give up, insisted I stay. Finally, I slept in his child's room to wait for an opportunity. Soon after I fell asleep, I heard the couple talking, then a slight creaking of the bed, and then Zhuang Yuan came over and quietly beckoned me to come closer. I started to get nervous. When I went in, I saw Cheng Mei sleeping face in the dark, the blanket only covering her stomach, her two white legs sticking out clearly in the night. I looked back at Zhuang Yuan, who smiled slyly, closed the door, and quietly left. I was very excited. These past few encounters had revealed that Cheng Mei was a very attractive mature woman. Her breasts and buttocks, even when clothed, were enough to make one's imagination run wild. At this moment, if I didn't go for it, would I still be a man?
Desire made me bolder. I lifted the blanket and pressed myself against her. My hands were everywhere, naked and completely exposed. My lower body suddenly sprang up, and I quickly pulled down my pants to release myself. My hand went to her buttocks... Ah! Wet and dripping, right at her genitals, this was the position for being fucked. Zhuang Yuan had just gotten off, what was I waiting for? So I grabbed my penis and thrust it in… I heard Cheng Mei let out an “Oh,” and tried to turn around. I grabbed her and started thrusting. It had been a long time since I'd been with a woman. Back then, I didn't have a girlfriend, nor did I have any women willing to let me have sex with them long-term. I remembered a colleague letting me do it twice in the office, and an online friend letting me do it once in a hotel. Those seemed like ages ago. I didn't usually masturbate, just had nocturnal emissions. Now, I felt like I'd been saving up for a long time. Having found such a comfortable hole, I wanted to make the most of it and release as much as I could. As I held her and tried to release, she no longer tried to turn around. But when she tried to do it again, I knew it was a request—a request for me to climb on her belly. Climbing on her belly meant we could kiss, a very routine action in sex, no need for hints or requests, it just happened naturally. She excitedly grabbed me, sometimes my arm, sometimes my butt, and even tried to grab something from my waist. Finding nothing, she just groped and groaned. Suddenly, the door opened, and the light came on. Cheng Mei's disheveled appearance was so bright it startled me. I knew Zhuang Yuan had come in. Feeling embarrassed, I lay down next to Cheng Mei, pulling the blanket over my head, and called out to Zhuang Yuan, "Why did you turn on the light? It's blinding!" I sensed Zhuang Yuan had already moved behind me and quickly turned the light off. I turned around to look for him, but he had already left and closed the door.
I don't know if it was from nervousness or from being disturbed earlier, but during the next round of sex, I was on my stomach and penetrated her until she orgasmed. Then I made her kneel up and penetrated her until she orgasmed again. I couldn't ejaculate, and I couldn't get off the stage. Luckily, Zhuang Yuan, who couldn't wait any longer, came in and interrupted us, and we finally finished. I lay down to rest, and Cheng Mei got up, turned on the light, and looked for her slippers. Then, amidst Zhuang Yuan's teasing, she quickly ran to the bathroom to wash up. I went limp and returned to my position with the cigarette Zhuang Yuan offered me to smoke. We had a second round, a complete threesome. Cheng Mei also let loose and gave her husband his penis while I fucked her. Because it was relatively easy, and the oral sex scene in front of me was stimulating my senses, I ejaculated quickly, shooting into her vagina where she had an IUD. As a woman who had given birth, Cheng Mei's figure was indeed well-maintained. Except for her breasts, which were slightly sagging from breastfeeding, her lower abdomen had also recovered well, although she had stretch marks on her buttocks and abdomen. That night, under Zhuang Yuan's guidance, I adjusted the technique, admiring and playing with her, ejaculating three times until Cheng Mei was so tired that her back ached and her legs were sore, and she cried out for mercy before I stopped to rest. The next morning, Zhuang Yuan was going downstairs to buy breakfast and called me over to serve his wife. We did it again, then ate, discussed our experiences, and I went back to the dormitory. (III) The Lovers of Husband and Wife
A week after the threesome, Zhuang Yuan and his wife didn't contact me again, nor did I see them on QQ. I had a one-night stand experience with a young woman I met online, and I knew that online friendships were just for fun, once was enough, and contacting them abruptly would make them suspicious and annoyed. So every night before going to sleep, I would replay the scene in my mind. After two exciting nights, I started having nocturnal emissions again. Saturday night, it was already 10 pm when Zhuang Yuan called and asked me to come to his house. I quickly took a taxi there. When I arrived, Cheng Mei was drunk again. It seemed I could only sleep with a drunk woman; I guessed she wouldn't want to anymore once she sobered up. I was a little annoyed, but when we were undressing her, she laughed like a fool, clung to me, and mumbled that she only wanted me to sleep with her and didn't want her husband anymore. Zhuang Yuan was a strange person; he seemed very happy. He just quietly came over to watch for a while while we were doing it, and then he really did sleep in the small room all night. I did it twice, and she was so turned on that she grabbed my penis and secretly compared it to a donkey's penis, laughing until she cramped up. Of course, we did it again in the morning. While we were doing it, Zhuang Yuan was woken up and squeezed in to sleep on her other side. I would penetrate him and kiss him, then turn around and switch partners until we ejaculated and she had an orgasm. This went on for four weeks, five times in total, with one week I had to work overtime. When I went in the fifth week, Zhuang Yuan told me that he wanted me to be his wife's long-term lover. I could call her and find a safe place to have sex, or she could come to his house, but we couldn't make a fuss. If his friends came over, he would explain that I was Cheng Mei's cousin, because my surname is also Chen, a homonym, and he would just call me by my name: Chen Nan. Who could guess? I'm impressed! His plan is so thorough, even using my surname. If he found someone with a strange surname, I wonder what bizarre ideas he would have. Cheng Mei also laughed at his many ideas, telling me that she shouldn't hide anything, even the smallest thing, and that not telling him early is a crime of concealment. I said I could see that too, I admire him! I admire him!
Cheng Mei started coming to my dorm as my older sister. Sometimes she would bring me homemade food, and sometimes she would take a couple of my dirty clothes. My roommates envied me for having such a nice older cousin. I thought to myself, "I'm practically sleeping with her! If you knew, you'd be either envious or terrified!" Making love in the dorm required finding a quiet spot, and she had to wear a skirt. It was quick, tense, and exciting. She said it was like when she was dating Zhuang Yuan. So, I started sneaking around to their house, though not often. I would call first. If Zhuang Yuan wasn't there, I felt embarrassed to go, but Cheng Mei would insist. I'd pretend I couldn't refuse, and when Zhuang Yuan was there, she'd urge us to do it. When he wasn't there, we'd do it if we wanted, and chat or watch TV if we didn't. This way, we spent a lot of time together. Zhuang Yuan always seemed very busy. At this point, Cheng Mei would ask me why I didn't date. I said I didn't like girls who were too crazy, and nowadays, which girl isn't crazy? You can meet someone by striking up a conversation or asking for directions, become friends the next day, and dare to flirt with them in public the third day. If you finally meet a quiet and pretty girl, you find out she's either someone's lover or protected by a mafia boss. If you dare to mess with her, I'll cut off her finger first. I don't have that kind of guts. As for ugly girls, I haven't reached that point yet. I'll talk about it when I do. Cheng Mei just laughed and praised my penis. When she got excited, she would play rape game with me. I half-heartedly went along with it. They often went to the old lady's house to see the children. I heard that the house there was big, and they could stay there if they didn't want to come back. But Cheng Mei seemed to have a bad relationship with the old lady and didn't want to stay there. So when Zhuang Yuan wanted to stay at the old lady's house, she would ask me to come and keep her company. The children were often picked up and then sent over. Sometimes the old lady would send them over, and she would be very angry. I could hear her even when I hid in the bedroom. Speaking of that time, it was dangerous. I was having sex with Cheng Mei in the bedroom, while Zhuang Yuan, who had lost interest and become numb, was watching TV. The old lady brought the child over, and we wrapped ourselves in the blanket, eavesdropping and quietly thrusting. The stimulation almost brought her to orgasm. She said she really wanted to throw off the blanket and scream, scaring her old lady to death.
I tried to comfort her, saying Zhuang Yuan was a good person, and they had a child, so she was so considerate. She said she could only scold him in front of me; her husband was a good person, and she didn't want to hurt him. She hadn't scolded any of her friends, but gradually some of them got to know me, her brother. We even played mahjong together. Sometimes when there were many people, I would go into the bedroom to play on the computer, and Cheng Mei would find an excuse to come in and secretly have sex with me a few times. She left, visibly aroused and wet. I've never seen Zhuang Yuan's friends come to the house. He's a pipeline designer, and he said his friends are all in engineering, which doesn't suit his personality; they're just casual acquaintances. Perhaps he's an expert in his field, and private engineering companies often secretly hire him to design blueprints, earning him extra money, so he's very busy. When he was busy, he'd leave his wife to me. Sometimes Cheng Mei wouldn't even call me; he'd call me from outside and ask me to come over and spend the night with her. I admired this guy's open-mindedness, but I always felt bad for him. I was taking advantage of him, and I respected their relationship, especially Zhuang Yuan. He was always so polite, asking me to keep his wife company. I felt like I owed him something, and my guilt grew. Without his or her urging, I tried to go over as little as possible, afraid of disturbing them after they'd been together for over half a year. I still kept asking Zhuang Yuan for his opinion at inappropriate times, like when Cheng Mei was in heat and flirted with me. I really wanted to, so I'd ask Zhuang Yuan, "Brother Yuan, look, my sister wants it!"
He'd repeat, "I've told you so many times, no need to ask. When you can treat her like your wife, I'll be your customer, and then I'll thank you."
That's what he said, but I couldn't do it. And it seems like there's pressure, and the pressure gets bigger and bigger as Zhuang Yuan treats me better; so, in my selfish thoughts, I hope Zhuang Yuan isn't around, so I can relax, and there are already many such opportunities, but I still feel it's not enough, I hope he's always outside calling me, this thought even I feel disgusting, compared to Zhuang Yuan, I feel like a petty person (IV) The pleasures of being a couple
Cheng Mei is very good to me, she often calls me when she cooks something delicious, and she also buys me things, clothes, shoes, etc. I am very grateful, I want to pay her for meals, but I think it's vulgar, Zhuang Yuan would scold me if he knew, I want to buy them a gift, later I saw a pair of couple watches, which are a bit expensive, more than two thousand, so I haven't bought them yet. During this period, they found a couple to play a swap game, Cheng Mei told me in detail. They were a couple from out of town, a bit older than them. It was awkward and they argued. The reason was that the wife wasn't prepared; seeing her husband so excited with Cheng Mei, she felt wronged and couldn't continue. She managed to cope, but the next day, trying to find something different, they tried two men and one woman, or two women and one man. She could handle two men, but she had a problem with two men with Cheng Mei or two women with one man. The men were very disappointed and criticized her, and they parted on bad terms. They even had a threesome with someone online once, not at home, but at a hotel. Cheng Mei told me about it, saying it was very exciting, but Zhuang Yuan said that person was too calculating and unreliable, and it was best to just have it once. I thought I was lucky; they had taken a liking to me. I was happy they wanted to find a woman for a threesome. Cheng Mei said she'd find another woman, not for a threesome, but just let the two of them have sex once. But as they talked, she felt that if they had sex with the two of them, she wouldn't be able to see it, so it wouldn't be fun, and she wouldn't accept it. Suddenly, she had this wild idea that I should find any girlfriend I didn't like, someone open-minded, and then have Zhuang Yuan sleep with her, and then break up with her afterwards. I thought even if Zhuang Yuan had planned this, he probably wouldn't have fallen for it, and besides, I couldn't do it. But I didn't say anything. When Zhuang Yuan found out, he immediately refused. Shortly after their wedding anniversary, I remember it was still cold. One day, Cheng Mei came to visit me and we chatted in my dorm. She said she had found a woman and was working on her, so it seemed like there was hope. I asked if she was pretty, and she said she looked pretty good in videos, with a good figure. Her husband was so eager to have sex with her that he kept calling her "Manman."
I asked if "Manman" was her name, and she said it was her online name, "Mantuo Luo" (曼佗罗). I laughed, and she hit me. Then she said she also wanted to see her husband with other women, especially a girl with a good figure; it would definitely be exciting to watch. I said I wanted to see it too, and she said, "That won't do. You'll scare her. We can play around, but we can't go too far. She's not like you; she's a girl."
What's wrong with me being a boy? You should monopolize me and play with me excessively, that's what I was thinking, but I didn't say it out loud. In fact, I was willing to let them play with me excessively. I was happy that I hadn't received their calls for a while. Cheng Mei also seemed to have forgotten me and didn't come to see me. I missed them terribly and had nowhere to vent, so I started masturbating. While masturbating, I thought that they might have found new men who were more to their liking than me. Maybe I would never be able to fuck Cheng Mei's pussy again. Thinking about her pussy, her pussy would appear in my mind. In my disappointment, I rubbed my penis until it was red and sore, but I couldn't ejaculate. Finally, I received their call. Cheng Mei hadn't forgotten her big-dicked little brother. She let me fuck her in her bedroom for half the night and satisfied my craving. After we finished, she told me that "Manman" and they had already been intimate, and it was incredibly exciting. She said the girl was prettier than in the videos, fair-skinned, with firm breasts and a perky butt, and her husband could even make her cum—something only young girls could do. She remembered she used to be able to cum too, but now she couldn't remember what it was like. I asked her if "Manman" was slutty or crazy, and she said she was very quiet. Then she suddenly looked at me and said, "You'll definitely like her. Let me introduce you; I think she could be your wife."
I said, "That would be great!" I was curious to hear why this pretty girl was willing to play this game instead of finding a boyfriend. I wanted to meet her. (Part 5) When I first met Ye Xiaoman
, I couldn't suggest meeting "Manman". It would be abrupt and make people feel uncomfortable. What would Zhuang Yuan and his wife think? Besides, a young girl playing this game would definitely not want others to know. So I had to suppress my desire. Zhuang Yuan was particularly busy at that time. I went to accompany Cheng Mei once. She told me that she had already mentioned it to Zhuang Yuan, but he disagreed and blamed her for being nosy. He said that girls care about their reputation and shouldn't do things recklessly. I was disappointed, but I thought Zhuang Yuan's words made sense, and besides, he was very considerate, so I didn't take it to heart anymore. After that, Cheng Mei never mentioned the name "Manman" again, and she didn't mention it when she saw Zhuang Yuan. At first, I thought maybe she just played around once, experiencing something new and exciting, and never had any further contact with the couple. So the name gradually faded from my mind. However, about a month later, one weekend, I was playing computer games with my colleagues in the office when Cheng Mei called and asked where I was. I lied and said I was in the dormitory. She asked if anyone was home. I wanted to sleep with her, so I said no one was home and asked her to come over. I hung up the phone and rushed back to the dormitory. When I got back, no one was home. I lay down and waited for about half an hour. She came with a girl, about 166 cm tall, slender and pretty. When introducing her, Cheng Mei said her name was "Ye Xiaoman". The moment I uttered the name, I thought of "Manman." Surprised, I gestured for them to sit down, then poured tea and water. A little nervous, Ye Xiaoman sat next to Cheng Mei on the bed, while I sat opposite her. She seemed nervous too, glancing around curiously at the small decorations on my windowsill. Cheng Mei asked why I hadn't come over these past few days. I said I was busy, adding jokingly, "You didn't invite me, would it be impolite to come?"
She laughed and scolded me for being quite the actor. After chatting for a bit, she winked at me and pulled the girl aside, saying, "Xiaoman is the girl I mentioned to you last time. I also told her about you. She's free today, so I brought her over to hang out."
I knew she wanted to introduce me to someone, and I knew this girl was the one named "Manman," so I was a little anxious. Looking at Xiaoman, she seemed to be blushing, but she turned her face away and looked away shyly for a while. I remembered that she had played threesomes with that couple, so she must be quite open-minded, and I wasn't so shy anymore. I asked her what she liked to play. We only had poker and chess to play. She said she would just sit for a while and didn't want to play anymore. Cheng Mei saw that she was reserved, so she leaned over and whispered something to her, laughing. She seemed a little angry and nudged her. Then I heard Cheng Mei get up and say that she had something to do and had to leave. Xiaoman also got up and wanted to leave, but she persuaded her to play a little longer and winked at me. I also asked Xiaoman to stay, and she left. After Cheng Mei left, Xiaoman seemed relaxed and got up to look through my things and asked questions. I relaxed too and told her about another roommate of mine, deliberately exaggerating, which made her laugh. She had a beautiful smile and a gentle voice, definitely the quiet type. Since I was in a good mood and the dorm was rather dull, I suggested we go for a walk. She agreed, so we went out and chatted along the street. She said her hometown wasn't here, but she went to university here, so she was very familiar with the area. She had graduated more than half a year ago and had only just found a job. I asked her what she did, and she hesitated for a long time. I said I was sorry, I didn't mean to ask, but she still told me she was working in an administrative position at the XX Construction Engineering Bureau and asked me to keep it a secret. I knew that company; it was a management unit in the construction industry, a public institution. I congratulated her, but at the same time, I connected her job with Zhuang Yuan's, though I couldn't understand why I thought that way. Later we walked to the Yellow River, where there were beverage stalls. We sat and drank for a while before parting ways. As we were leaving, she suddenly blushed and said, "Don't tell Sister Cheng's husband about what happened today. Sister Cheng asked me to tell you."
This instruction puzzled me. On the way back, I kept thinking about her workplace and Zhuang Yuan's workplace. They were obviously related. My mind was full of doubts. That night, Cheng Mei called and asked me how it went and if I liked her. I said she was my type, but I was afraid she was too open and not suitable to be a wife. She compared me to her husband and said I was conservative. She promised that if we got together, she would not let Zhuang Yuan sleep with her again. I quickly explained that I didn't mean that. But what did I really mean? It was a pity that Zhuang Yuan was so sincere to me. I was such an ungrateful wretch. (VI) Xiaoman's Character
Cheng Mei was a good woman. After getting out of bed, she was just like a real older sister. When I had the chance to ask Xiaoman what she told me before she left that day, she told me that Zhuang Yuan did not approve of matchmaking for me and was strongly opposed to it. When she talked about me with Xiaoman, Xiaoman seemed very interested, and she always felt that Xiaoman was my type. So she asked Xiaoman to secretly find me. Just as Cheng Mei said, Xiaoman is indeed my type. I just don't admit it, mainly because I think she is too open. If it weren't for the threesome thing, I would have gone crazy chasing after her. But even so, a few days later, I still couldn't resist getting Cheng Mei's phone number. Cheng Mei was very happy and threatened me to serve her. Of course, no problem. I lay on my older sister's stomach, crouching down, sucking on her nipple while pounding hard into her vagina, doing that crazy physical confrontation, making her feel like she was dying. Xiao Man didn't have time. She was busy at night and always worked overtime. We finally managed to meet at noon to have lunch together. Then she called her boss and lied that she had to run errands. She accompanied me around for a while, but the purpose was still to chat. We talked about her hometown, in a certain place in Sichuan. It was nice there, and the customs were very different from here. It was very interesting. Then we talked about boyfriends. She said she had dated one in school, but it didn't last long. She said it simply and didn't want to talk about it anymore. Later, I inexplicably asked about the threesome. She started to blush, then turned pale, and never recovered. She said she was just curious. After playing around, she found that the couple was nice, so she kept in touch.
She spoke very bluntly, which I found inappropriate. I wanted to apologize but couldn't find a way, so I confessed that I was also Cheng Mei's lover, and it had been almost a year. I often slept with her. It seemed that Cheng Mei and her husband hadn't revealed this. Xiao Man was startled and stood there looking at me, as if she was very strange. I said that my sister was fake, and Zhuang Yuan had made it up to cover up the truth. Now many of their friends believed it. I had intended to use the same sexual experience to ease her embarrassment, but I didn't expect it to make her look somewhat dazed. She remained silent, no longer happy, and then she said goodbye as she walked away. (VII) 4P Relationship
I don't know if it was Cheng Mei or Xiao Man who had the problem, but Zhuang Yuan still found out about my relationship with Xiao Man. When I was having dinner at her house, he suddenly blurted out, "Do you like Xiaoman?"
I didn't know what to say. Looking at Cheng Mei, who was clearly surprised as well, I said, "No way, I just met her and was curious why she likes threesomes. I thought it was something mature women did." As I said this, my face burned, like I'd been caught red-handed, and I felt guilty. This feeling made me very uncomfortable. Cheng Mei didn't say anything, and the atmosphere was awkward. But Zhuang Yuan continued as usual, shoveling rice into his mouth. He looked up and said to Cheng Mei, "You should talk to her. How about the four of us have a threesome?"
At the same time, he kicked me under the table, giving me a wink. I understood he wanted me to encourage him, so I said to Cheng Mei, "Sister, that's right. Just let me watch. Let's see how Brother Yuan plays with girls."
Cheng Mei jokingly scolded me for trying to find an excuse to mess with someone, but the atmosphere suddenly became lively. I looked at Zhuang Yuan with ease and gratitude, feeling a sense of closeness to him. I secretly resented Cheng Mei for making things so mysterious. Xiao Man didn't agree to a four-person affair, as Cheng Mei had told me. I didn't necessarily want a four-person affair; I just went along with Zhuang Yuan that day to ease what I perceived as an awkward atmosphere. Honestly, I don't know why, but ever since Cheng Mei said she'd talk to her, I've been worried she might actually agree. I didn't want that. A few days before May Day, Zhuang Yuan received a commendation from his company and was promoted to department head. The company celebrated for him, keeping me busy for two days, and I didn't get a chance to congratulate him. During the holiday, his family took his parents on another trip. They returned on the last day of the holiday, and I booked a meal for them.
They brought Xiao Man over. During the meal, I chatted with Xiao Man, and she said she also wanted to do something. Since I was treating, it saved her money, which made everyone laugh. Xiao Man always dressed so simply and elegantly; if I didn't know her background, I would have been completely fooled by her innocent appearance. On another note, haven't I been relentlessly pursuing this woman next to me? Everyone has desires. If she doesn't secretly seek out couples for threesomes, her desires need an outlet, and that outlet might be the hordes of lewd men around her, perhaps thugs, hooligans, or wealthy gangsters. How could she possibly maintain her innocence then? She'd be dressed like a turkey with an afro, standing at a crossroads making phone calls. Everyone enjoyed the meal. Xiaoman got a little drunk again because of Zhuang Yuan's tricks. When I realized he was using a scheme, I knew he wanted to have a foursome tonight. Xiaoman gets sleepy after drinking a little alcohol and becomes drowsy in the car. When we arrived at Zhuang Yuan's house, she wanted to go back, but he insisted on getting in.
After entering the room, she told Cheng Mei that she wanted to sleep for a while, and apologized to me before squeezing into the bedroom and closing the door. Zhuang Yuan was very excited, and like a superior, he assigned us tasks, saying that he would go in later and that I should eavesdrop at the door. He said that once he started, he would make some noise. Then Cheng Mei and I took off our clothes and went in to do it together. Once we started, she couldn't stop me. I thought that Xiao Man, as a girl, was ashamed and felt that we were going too far. I wanted to stop her, but I was afraid of spoiling Zhuang Yuan's fun, so I had no choice but to do as he said. After they went in, Cheng Mei was also very excited because of the alcohol. She came over and kissed me. Then we took off our clothes while kissing. After taking off our pants, it was still a bit cold, and I got goosebumps. I felt like I was waiting for this excuse to appear, so I quickly said that I was too cold and that it was okay. Cheng Mei noticed when she took off her clothes. She went to the balcony and turned the air conditioner to its highest setting. We were eavesdropping at the door. She kept touching my penis, which was hard at first, but it went soft when she heard it. She quietly knelt down to give me oral sex. Just as I recovered, I heard the sound of the bed. It didn't sound like sex, but more like knocking. Cheng Mei heard it too, got up and opened the door first. I saw Zhuang Yuan's slightly overweight buttocks pressed against a thin body. Two white, lotus-root-like legs stretched up from his waist. Cheng Mei had already climbed onto the bed. I slowly walked behind them and saw that Zhuang Yuan's penis was clearly inserted into the white... Between her legs, her dark gray anus was held high up by Zhuang Yuan, facing me directly. A penis was going in and out of the reddish spot, and white fluid was seeping into her anus, flowing down the groove. It was very stimulating, and I was instantly aroused with boundless lust. I quickly stepped onto the bed, straddled Cheng Mei's buttocks, and slid my thick penis into the crevice of her buttocks, tentatively thrusting into her flesh hole. I began to thrust rapidly and forcefully. After a few thrusts, I felt that her buttocks were in the way, so I pressed down and drilled deeper. As soon as I mounted Cheng Mei, I saw Xiao Man. She was covering her face with her hands, her arms were being pulled by Cheng Mei, and even when her hands left her face, her eyes were still tightly closed. I noticed her beautiful, flushed face, her hair slightly disheveled from the back-and-forth movement, her fair breasts—not large, but full and elastic, swaying with each movement. I felt a surge of desire, wanting to use all my strength, but no matter what, I felt Cheng Mei's buttocks were hindering me. In a fit of anger, I grabbed her and flipped her over, starting again with the same movements as Zhuang Yuan. This position was the traditional one, and now I understood why it had endured for so long. It allowed for deep penetration, and I could see the facial expressions on the recipient's face after each powerful thrust. Those expressions were an affirmation of our male labor, and only with this affirmation could we have the strength and ambition to continue, striving harder each time. Just as I was reveling in this moment, I saw Xiao Man beside me looking at me. When had she removed her hand from my face? She was just staring straight at me, her brows furrowing with Zhuang Yuan's thrusts. But was that signal for Zhuang Yuan? Or was it for me? Her unwavering gaze terrified me. Finally, I gave in, blushing and lowering my head. Feeling nowhere to hide, I leaned down, trying to avoid Cheng Mei's mouth, biting her ear. During later sex, she looked at me like that several times, each time when I was at my peak, then used this to scare me and cool my excitement, especially when we were on our side, Cheng Mei facing me, with Zhuang Yuan and I entering from behind. It was like she was playing a staring contest. I didn't ejaculate, nor could I. Zhuang Yuan did, and when he was about to, he yelled for me to make room for Cheng Mei. I watched him penetrate Cheng Mei's vagina, only moving a few times before stopping. Afterwards, he didn't leave Cheng Mei's body, wanting me to move to his position. Xiao Man hit me, not shy at all, staring at us naked, ready to pounce at any moment, preventing me from stepping over her. Amidst the laughter of Zhuang Yuan and his wife, I felt incredibly embarrassed. It was clear she didn't like me and didn't want me to touch her.
I don't want to talk about what happened next. I was so bored. She hated me so much, yet she deliberately went around naked, flirting with Zhuang Yuan and even giving him oral sex on his unwashed and limp penis.
I felt very uncomfortable. I forced a smile until my face felt sleepy, and quickly made an excuse to leave. (8) The Touched Nerves
Ye Xiaoman's eyes, the same look she gave me that day, her unwilling actions, are deeply etched into my mind and I can't shake them off. Every night, as soon as I close my eyes, I think about it and feel pathetic, like I'm not attractive to girls. So I go back to the scenes of shopping and chatting with her, and her gentle and quiet nature becomes even clearer. I don't know what's wrong with me. Did she hurt my self-esteem by not letting me touch her? I kept asking myself the same questions, and I started to hate her—what's so great about you? You think I'm dirty, and I think you're smelly. If I were a gigolo, you'd be a little bitch. I was invited to dinner over the weekend, and Xiaoman was there too. She was very polite to me, and I tried my best to act like nothing was wrong, but I still felt resentful. I just quietly eased some of the hatred in my heart. After dinner, the four of us played mahjong. It was understandable that Zhuang Yuan lost money; he was just going through the motions and didn't play seriously. When Xiaoman lost money, I collected the winnings, and she got angry and secretly retaliated under the table, kicking my leg until it hurt. But I was happy, and the hatred eased a bit more. When she finally ran out of money, Cheng Mei gave her some and happily showed it to me. I seemed to be infected by her joy and eased up even more. After finishing the mahjong game, I wanted to leave, but Xiaoman told me to wait and not to bother the couple to take me home. I thought she had something else to do, so I sat down to wait. Who knew she went into the bedroom, calling Zhuang Yuan? A little while later, I heard sounds of sex. The door wasn't even closed. Cheng Mei asked if I wanted to sleep with Xiao Man, offering to help if I did. I had no interest in that, saying I didn't like her—too thin, and too pretentious, boring. Cheng Mei smiled at my face, repeating the question. Seeing my serious expression, she laughed and asked if I liked her.
I said, "If I don't like her, why bother? Even if I couldn't have her, I'd still like her very much." She could tell, and excitedly came over to hug me. I took out my penis and made her ride me, bringing her to orgasm on the sofa. I ejaculated too, making a mess on my pants. She wiped me with a towel, and then we finished inside.
After going downstairs, we didn't take a car, but walked along the road like the previous two times. At first, I didn't say anything, but she asked if I had slept with Cheng Mei. I said, "You did that on purpose, didn't you hear me?" She said she really didn't hear anything.
I said, "You were probably too excited to notice," and she didn't say anything, just walked silently. I also walked silently to a pharmacy that was still open. Wanting to break the silence, I pointed and said, "Why is the pharmacy still open so late?"
She then noticed, as if remembering something, and pulled me inside. She got some birth control pills and a bottle of birth control cream. She drank the pills at the pharmacy before we came out. On the way, she said that Zhuang Yuan hadn't controlled himself and ejaculated inside her, so she was worried. I said, "You don't need to worry now that you've taken the pills. Next time, we'll use condoms for safety." After saying that, we fell silent again. She walked slowly, seemingly unhurried, playing with the bottle of cream in her hand. I was curious and asked her why she bought this after already taking the pills. She said, "To apply inside, double insurance."
I said, "You're really experienced."
She seemed a little angry, rolled her eyes at me, and then muttered to herself that it was probably unnecessary; if she had applied it then, it might have been salvageable. I thought she was right; by the time we got back, the sperm would have already entered her uterus. As we were talking, we reached the entrance of an alley with no streetlights. I said, "Go over there and apply it yourself against the wall. I'll watch over you from here; maybe it's not too late."
She looked at me, smiled sweetly, then looked around, grabbed my hand, and ran to a corner. She quickly lifted her skirt, pulled down her underwear, and said, "Hurry up, aren't you going to apply the medicine?"
I was surprised and looked at her. She said, "You don't want to help me? Fine, I won't apply it then." She made a move to pull up her underwear. I said, "Okay...okay, hurry up!"
She pulled her underwear down and held it in her hand, then squatted down with her legs spread, showing me her front. I opened the plaster with the cap, squeezed some onto my finger, and asked her to turn around and show me her buttocks. She refused, saying it was too unsightly. I had no choice but to hold her body and reach down to her genitals. Her vulva was still wet. I was a little nervous. I touched the opening and tried to put it inside. The opening was tight, and it felt like there was a vast world inside. She clung to my shoulders, her head close to my ear, and whispered, "Use your finger to rub it in evenly."
I tried rubbing it, but it didn't feel sticky or like there was no ointment. I took my finger out and told her we were crawling on the floor looking for it. It had actually fallen on the floor. So I squeezed some more on, held it between two fingers, and tried to insert it. I rubbed it in, but it still didn't feel sticky. She laughed, hugging me and laughing so hard she was shaking. After she finished laughing, I asked her how she usually applied it. She started laughing again, saying, "I squeeze it directly in from the bottle opening and then use my finger."
Wasn't she just teasing me?
But seeing how happy she was, I couldn't get angry. I inserted the bottle into her, halfway in, and then, holding her as she tried to resist, I squeezed the rest in. She stood up angrily. I said it was pointless if I didn't push it in. She rolled her eyes and squatted down again.
I stirred it with my finger and started kissing her. Her tongue was soft and delicate, her saliva was very light. I wanted to keep stirring it, but a figure came from a distance, and we had to stop what we were doing. As soon as we got up, she ran, and I panicked and ran after her. When I caught up with her and saw that there was no one behind us, I asked her why she was running. She said she didn't know, and then she started laughing, laughing at my nervousness. I was confused. Was I being tricked again? When a taxi stopped to let someone out, she insisted on taking a taxi. When we got to the place she mentioned, she got out by herself. It seemed like it wasn't even close to her workplace, but she insisted on getting out and wouldn't let me see her off. She stood there watching my car leave. Even when it was far away, she was still standing there all alone, and then she crawled away in the opposite direction and disappeared. (Nine) The Charity of Love
I fell in love with Ye Xiaoman. I knew it from the first moment I saw her. I liked her from the beginning, and I felt something for her the second time we went for a walk. Now she's deeply in my heart, and it's like my insides are being torn apart. When I call her, she's busy, and when I call again, she sounds annoyed. At Zhuang Yuan's house, I'm like some unrelated person. I can laugh and chat, but she won't let me touch her. I never intended to touch her, but Cheng Mei's enthusiasm made me feel very awkward. These are the least of my worries. I'm starting to hate Zhuang Yuan. He's always so casual. He not only brags and discusses things with me, but also generously tries to persuade Xiao Man on my behalf, acting like a possessive person. I also dislike Cheng Mei. Why is she so enthusiastic? Do I really think that way? Why can't she understand people? I can't express this resentment, much less show it. I feel incredibly hypocritical. At times like these, I feel terribly uncomfortable. I have to smile even when I'm unhappy, and my heart aches. It feels like my internal organs are being churned. This is unrequited love. I understand. I love her, but she doesn't love me. Forcing myself on her will only cause me pain. After tormenting myself like this a few times, I started making excuses not to go to Zhuang Yuan's house. I also lost interest in dealing with Cheng Mei. I told her I was busy with work, and it seems I really have become busy. I'm working overtime in the office at night. I was working on a manuscript, and when I finished, I had nothing to do, so I tidied up my things and realized that a lot of my work was incomplete, half-finished. So I tidied up what needed to be tidied up, and started what needed to be done even though it wasn't due yet. Cheng Mei came to see me once, but I wasn't in the dormitory, so she called. She knew I was in the office, but she still managed to find me and we did it secretly, on and off. We would separate when there was any noise in the hallway, and reconnect when it was quiet. The exciting climaxes were all achieved under the pressure of suppression, and according to her, there were many more. She even wanted to find an opportunity to come to my office at night to do it, but I tried to stop her, afraid that something would go wrong and we would be discovered.
After finishing all the work, I still spent my days in the office, playing games. It wasn't as engaging as working on documents. Then I started thinking about Xiaoman again—her small, crouching body, her breath on my ear, her soft, yielding vulva, her inexplicable running and happy smile… Thinking back, even the way she looked at me directly, the way she resisted my touch, seemed so cute and alluring. Zhuang Yuan was away on a business trip, studying in another city. Cheng Mei invited me to her house to watch TV, chat, and make love. I stayed one night, thinking she'd be satisfied for a few days and wouldn't bother me anymore. But a few days later, she called again. I wanted to refuse, but thinking of her kindness, I went anyway. Xiaoman was there too. I had a vengeful thought; thinking she was slutty and no one was around, it was my turn to show off. So I deliberately teased Cheng Mei, making her embarrassed. Then Xiaoman got interested and insisted on watching us make love.
Fine, I'll do it, even if you don't ask. I dragged Cheng Mei into the bedroom and stripped her naked. Then, using all my sexual skills, I licked, touched, teased, and penetrated her, bringing Cheng Mei to multiple orgasms, making her unable to control herself. And I achieved my goal. Xiao Man seemed very unhappy; I could see the forced smile hidden beneath. She left halfway through and didn't come back in. Cheng Mei was satisfied, so she started her old habit of coaxing Xiao Man in and persuading her to have sex with me again. At first, Xiao Man was still smiling, whether she was faking it or not, at least Cheng Mei couldn't tell. But under Cheng Mei's persuasion, she really became unhappy. I know that if you love someone and can't see their feelings, do you still have the right to say you love them?
So she pretended to be serious and started taking off her clothes. Once she was completely naked, she tilted her head and smiled disdainfully, saying, "You really want to sleep with me that badly? Here, I'll give you this once."
What kind of talk is that? My love for you is my business, and your lack of love for me is your business. Why should I need your pity? I was furious, but I couldn't say anything. Cheng Mei pulled me and insisted I sleep with her. I said I didn't want to, but she told me not to be shy. So I pointed to my penis and said, "It's not even hard. Do you think I want to?"
This got Xiao Man excited. She bent over and moved closer, insisting I do it, and wouldn't let her refuse. Cheng Mei grabbed my penis, but it wasn't hard. She gave me oral sex a few times, but it still wouldn't get hard. Xiao Man was more interested, saying I was impotent and offering to cure me. She even mounted me and pressed down on my limp penis, vigorously rubbing it, but it still wouldn't get erect. Finally, Cheng Mei became worried. I said it was nothing, maybe Xiao Man had scared me, and I'd be fine after some rest. So the three of us lay there chatting. Xiao Man seemed fine, as if her identity as a young girl really needed to be concealed; whenever it came to her affairs, she refused to listen, citing reasons like not wanting to pry. So Cheng Mei and I chatted idly. She played with my penis out of boredom, examining it carefully, turning it over and over, until she unconsciously got hard. She carefully mounted me, slowly sliding her penis inside. It was hot and tight. Cheng Mei started kissing me, and I got even harder, thrusting upwards to meet her. It got hotter and slipperier inside, but the opening remained so tight, which felt incredibly pleasurable. Suddenly, she jumped up, and because of the quick movement, I could hear a "bang" as my penis was pulled out. She just stared at me standing there, looking down at me, and said sarcastically, "You think you're so great? This is all the charity I got." Then she turned and went to the bathroom without looking back. I watched as my erect penis slumped down, curling into a ball, while Cheng Mei laughed so hard she could barely breathe. (X) Pause
That was the last time I saw Xiaoman at Cheng Mei's house. After Zhuang Yuan returned, we had a get-together, but Xiaoman didn't come. Later, Zhuang Yuan and his wife told me that Xiaoman didn't want to play this game anymore, worried that she would become addicted if it continued, and she didn't want any of us to bother her anymore. I wondered if I was involved in this "addiction," if she had feelings for me. My heart started pounding, and I felt incredibly disappointed. I kept agreeing, saying that she had a point, that it was just a game, and that we shouldn't disturb other people's lives. Then I felt relieved and thought Xiaoman did the right thing. She shouldn't continue playing like this; her remaining purity would disappear. After all, she was still a girl; she shouldn't be doing this so early. So I felt a sense of relief, and suddenly became happy. I went back and started thinking about contacting Xiaoman, but I was worried that I would be presumptuous and really disturb her. Although we didn't have much of a relationship, we had been together in that lewd place, and there had even been some physical contact. With these concerns, I kept picking up the phone and putting it down, thinking of reasons every day. Finally, I couldn't help but dial, but the number was not in service. I dialed it again, entered the numbers again, and later I simply wrote them down on a piece of paper and dialed each number one by one, checking and verifying them carefully. It was always the same answer: the number was not in service. She really didn't want anyone to disturb her. Cheng Mei secretly told me that she had also tried calling Xiaoman. I didn't despair. I thought I knew her workplace and the approximate location of her home, so I went to the place where I dropped her off that night. There were many residential areas there, but when I inquired, none of them belonged to the Construction Engineering Bureau, not even a unit with the word "construction engineering" in their name. I figured she might be renting a place there, so after get off work I would go there, sometimes with colleagues, sometimes with friends, thinking that if I bumped into her, I would pretend it wasn't intentional and was just a coincidence. As a result, my colleagues and friends noticed my absent-mindedness. Taking walks, looking for restaurants—these excuses couldn't hide my distracted state. I started to get anxious and decided to risk going to her workplace and try my luck around the XX Construction Engineering Bureau. For almost two weeks, I was there almost every day at the entrance, my eyes fixed on the departing crowds. When I noticed many people looking at me with pity, I realized I was too focused, exhibiting some neurotic traits. But I wasn't willing to give up. I comforted myself, telling myself I wouldn't say I loved her, wouldn't say I missed her, but I couldn't just let someone suddenly disappear. Driven by curiosity, by wanting to find answers, I discovered there was a street behind the XX Construction Engineering Bureau. After everyone had left in the twilight, I had to leave, so I wandered aimlessly until I reached the back—a place I'd never been before. I thought I'd take a look and walk back.
And so, I bumped into Xiaoman. We passed each other without me noticing. As I continued walking, I felt a pair of eyes behind me. Had I dropped something? I turned around and saw Xiaoman standing far away, staring at me without blinking. She was as beautiful as a sculpture. I was so happy! I walked towards her, getting closer and closer. Her nose was a little red, and her eyes seemed a little red too. When I got to her, I wanted to say that I had just wandered around and bumped into her, but before I could say anything, she spoke first: "I didn't let you play with me, are you not satisfied?" Her tone was very light and indifferent. I felt that she wasn't talking to me. "If I let you play with me once, would you let me go?" After that sentence, I came to my senses. I stammered, not knowing how to express myself, and managed to squeeze out three words: "I'm... sorry..." Then I quickly turned around and walked away until my legs were sore. I was exhausted and barely caught the bus before I had to take a day off. I had caught a really bad cold. My colleagues came to see me and took me to the hospital for an IV drip. Cheng Mei also came twice. The first time, I wanted to say something but couldn't. The second time, I didn't need to go to the hospital for an IV drip anymore and was resting in my dorm. She then spoke up, saying that she and Zhuang Yuan had argued. They had never argued before. Later, she thought that they had gone too far this past year, and if they didn't stop, their families might have problems. Besides, Zhuang Yuan felt that continuing would ruin me, so they should break it off. I told him that he was the person I admired most. He could control his emotions and, more importantly, he could control things. Without him, we would be in chaos. So I listened to him, and sure enough, two months later, Cheng Mei came to see me again. Unfortunately, I wasn't there; my roommate told me. I miss her terribly, a longing that feels like familial love, devoid of any physical desire. I regret going out that day, the day before I changed my phone number. (November 11th)
I'm not one to easily forget the past, so I'm good at summarizing. I realized that last time I was in a bad mood, I could distract myself with busyness, but this time it seemed even worse. So I tried the same trick again. But this is just a company, a local office; how much work can there be? Doing other people's work isn't popular these days; it'll make people resentful. Later, I thought of a busy place: a grassroots factory. When I made my request, it wasn't approved, so I called the headquarters in the south, earnestly pleading repeatedly. Finally, I was transferred to a remote county in my province, where our factory was located. Now I had work to do, starting everything from scratch. Just learning and adapting kept me busy. I worked there for over three years, rising from a technician to a workshop director, always very busy. Later, I took over logistics, and the automated management was very rigorous, so I had some free time. I also started traveling between the provincial capital and the factory, with accommodations in both places. When I moved to a city I used to know, I started unconsciously revisiting places I'd been before, wanting to see what had changed. One late summer day, I unexpectedly ran into Cheng Mei far from her house. She was standing with a strange man, carrying a bunch of things, chatting and laughing, waiting for a taxi. I was in the taxi that was about to stop; I only stopped there because I saw her. She didn't see me. When I got out, she had already taken her things to the trunk, forcing me to slowly take out my fare to pay. Then she saw me. She was surprised and happy, introducing the man beside her as her boyfriend, saying they were getting married in October. She then introduced me to her boyfriend as her adopted younger brother. After this surprise, I was practically invited to her house. It was the same house, but it had just been renovated, and all the furniture had been changed. I felt very unfamiliar. After dinner, when I was about to leave, she saw me out. We walked and talked along the same path we used to take with Xiao Man, just like we used to. She said that after we broke off contact that year, she felt very uncomfortable. Later, she couldn't help but reconnect with someone she met online, and Zhuang Yuan soon found out. He cared a lot about her, becoming a completely different person. They eventually divorced, and she didn't get custody of the child. Fortunately, he left her an apartment. She smiled as she spoke, as if comforting me, then sighed, saying it was all in the past. I could see how difficult it had been for her afterward. I asked about Zhuang Yuan, afraid of upsetting her, and only tentatively inquired, but she had already adjusted and spoke of it easily, leaving me speechless with surprise. It turned out that Zhuang Yuan later got together with Xiaoman, soon quit his job, and started his own engineering design and budgeting company, making some money. Later, I never heard of him getting married; he just disappeared, taking his parents and child with him. I heard they went to the south. I was completely confused, unable to figure it out. Cheng Mei, missing her child, remained silent. When I reached the alley where I had applied medicine to Xiaoman, I came to my senses. I stopped, looked at Chengmei, and wanted to hug her, but I tried to restrain myself. She looked up and asked if I wanted to do it again. I asked her if she wanted to, and she said no, but I wanted to do it, so she came with me. I finally couldn't help myself and pulled her into my arms. I hugged her and said, "Forget it, just treat me like your real sister."
She hugged me tightly and we stayed close for a while. (12) Heart's Waves
When I saw Chengmei again, my heart began to stir. I don't know if it was because I heard about Xiaoman and Zhuangyuan, or because Chengmei's tight hug reawakened my desire. Anyway, I was very impulsive. I almost forgot about my sexual needs and started masturbating again. Chengmei's body was once again brought to mind from the depths of my mind, stimulating only memories and fantasies.
I also started to enjoy surfing the internet, looking for pictures and reading pornographic articles. But the internet is not what it used to be; pornographic things seem to have disappeared. I couldn't find them even if I wanted to. Actually, I'm an old hand; I know I'm blocked, but others do. I just couldn't find netizens to connect with. Finally, one day, a netizen gave me a website address. I went in, registered as a member, and started searching for things that could solve my problem. At first, I looked at pictures directly. After looking at them, I couldn't wait for updates, so I looked for articles to read. Pornographic articles are all fake; you can tell. But when you need to, you have to treat them as real so you can immerse yourself in them and naturally enjoy the thrill. I spent a whole night in the factory, feeling even more lonely. So I went through the articles one by one and found one titled "A Record of Being a Sugar Daddy." The more I read, the more horrified I became. By the end, I was in tears and couldn't continue reading.
The story describes a woman who studied architecture in college. Near graduation, she found an internship at a construction company. During an accident at the construction site, a man was trapped under a descending hoisting mechanism. She was passing by and, seeing no one around, tried to help. She reached for the switch, but in her haste, pressed the descent button, crushing the man's leg and causing a comminuted fracture. A man who happened to be passing by witnessed this. He knocked over a metal bucket, cut the wire behind the switch, and instructed her to simply say she had pressed the stop button. Afterwards, she was very grateful, and he frequently asked her out, so she willingly became his mistress. However, when she finished her studies and wanted to return home, he refused. He found her a job and bought her a house, then began using the accident as leverage. He sent the proceeds from secretly selling blueprints to her laid-off parents back home in her name to buy a house, agreeing to support her for three years under a contract. She began working and living in that city. She initially thought three years would be easy, but this man was complex and cunning. He loved her like a madman, forbidding her from touching other men. Yet, to avoid upsetting his wife, he went so far as to find her a lover. Not only that, he wanted her to integrate into his family life, so he manipulated his open-minded wife into agreeing to a threesome. During this process, she met his wife's lover. She liked him very much, but dared not confess, fearing public scorn and being exposed by her lover. So she ended this emotionally charged, promiscuous relationship, wanting to leave. But as long as she knew he was there, she couldn't bear to part with him. Unable to leave, after the man she loved disappeared from the city, everything became meaningless. Before the three-year term was up, she proactively found the man with the broken leg and told him everything. He didn't blame her; instead, he went after her lover, extorted money from him, and wrote an anonymous letter to his workplace. He was too ashamed to stay and wanted to leave to develop his own career. Even after all this, he still wouldn't let her go, so she had no choice but to secretly leave, leaving behind her scarred past. I know I'm part of this story. She described in detail my lovemaking with Cheng Mei, her feelings, and even wrote two long paragraphs about the few seconds we had sex. She specifically mentioned the scene of applying medicine in the darkness of the alley that night—it was so vivid in my mind. She was me, and I was her; I couldn't control myself. (Thirteen) I know Ye Xiaoman
, the girl I love, the girl who loves me. I will find you, even if you are at the ends of the earth.
I copied the article, but it didn't work. Why can I see the IP address, but the other person can't?
I searched the website and finally realized that the website had covered the address to protect the poster. So I found the moderator and told him over and over that I was the person in the story, that I wanted her IP, that I begged him, and even asked him to name a price. Just when I was about to be banned and kicked out, I said I would post here, that I would post at least two articles every week, and that they would definitely be attractive. If the articles weren't good, then it wouldn't be too late to kick me out. So I started writing pornographic articles all night long, which gave me a headache, but my hard work paid off. The number of views increased, and my popularity rose, all in just half a month. While I was contributing, I also moved the moderator, who gave me Xiaoman's IP address. Her address was a dynamic number in a residential area in a city in Sichuan. After I found out, I wanted to leave immediately, but it was almost National Day, and I had to take care of something else: attending Cheng Mei's wedding. I had only met her once before, and we hadn't exchanged phone numbers. I figured that National Day was an auspicious day, so I went to her house and knocked on the door. There was no wedding going on; she was home alone. She told me the wedding date was set for tomorrow, and they hadn't invited many people; it would just be a small gathering with her and a few of her closest friends. Seeing the size of their bags last time, I thought her life might not be as good as before. Regardless of what kind of man Zhuang Yuan was, he was definitely a good earner. So I took out a red envelope with 10,000 yuan in it and placed it on the table. Because it was a credit card, she couldn't tell, so she didn't refuse or look at it. We chatted for a while, and when I wanted to leave, she whispered that she wanted to do it one last time. We only took off our pants and sat on the sofa. Since our clothes were neat, I felt like I was only hugging and kissing her, and I had the thought that she was my older sister. She rode me slowly, her eyes looking at me as if she had never seen me before, or perhaps searching for some memory. I thought about the past, about Zhuang Yuan, and felt that she was happy now, and I was truly happy for her. I hugged her even tighter, and she started to hug me back tightly. Finally, we were so tightly bound that we couldn't move, and the sex couldn't continue.
The climax was no longer important to either of us. We just held each other, our bodies enveloped in each other, until the thing we had merged with softened before we separated. I wished her well, and she wished me well. The next day, I took a train to Sichuan. Finding the place was so easy. In that neighborhood, I asked fewer than four people before I knew where Ye Xiaoman's house was. There was a "double happiness" character on her door. Worried I had gone to the wrong place, I ran downstairs to count the units before coming back up and knocking on the door. A smart-looking man opened the door and asked who I was looking for. I said I was looking for Ye Xiaoman, and he called out inside.
With that familiar voice, Xiaoman appeared in the doorway. She stood there, speechless.
Xiaoman got married; the wedding was held on the second day of the National Day holiday. I used all my skills in pretending to be relaxed, offered my congratulations, and secretly counted the money in my pocket, weaving the thoughts of my friends there and the monetary gifts I was given. Once all this was done smoothly, I couldn't wait to say goodbye. After leaving, tears started flowing. I wanted to turn back and look at her, but I couldn't control the tears. I couldn't turn back. I felt like I had left Chengmei's house. I turned out of the community gate and walked along the road I had walked before, walking and walking, but I couldn't see any alley. I wanted to see which alley, and I didn't feel tired at all. As I walked, someone called my name from behind. I heard it, turned around, and saw Xiaoman standing far away, tears streaming down her face. Her figure, like the one on the street behind that construction bureau, seemed distant and lonely. I wanted to approach her, but she was backing away, so I stopped and looked at her, but I couldn't see her clearly. Then I heard her shout, "I know!"
I didn't understand her words, so I shouted, "What?"
She replied, "Your love!"
So I shouted back, "I know too—your love!"
The snowflakes
were still falling. I thought Xiaoman must be standing by the window now. Is it snowing in Sichuan? Can she feel my longing?
Perhaps her lover is beside her, able to lean on her. If I shouted again, and they heard, I would be even more heartbroken. I hoped the snow would fall heavily, heavy enough to block my view and muffle my voice, so they wouldn't hear me when I shouted. But things don't always go as planned. The sky ahead was beginning to brighten. These snowflakes were just a final farewell to the earth, telling people that they were about to leave.

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