Occasionally indulging in pleasure: Reminiscences of a primary school teacher (Part 3)

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After registering on the dating website, I was very enthusiastic for a while, but then I calmed down. I would occasionally log on to check, especially for newly registered users. I would quickly look at their profiles, and if I liked someone, I would send them a private message to say hello. If they responded, I would say hello again; if not, I would just leave it at that.
She seemed to be relatively new to the internet, around 25 years old and unmarried according to her profile. She had a rather quirky and artistic name, and her signature explicitly stated the meaning of "healthy interests and cultivation, enriching and promoting each other's lives." She lived in a coastal city about three or four hours' drive from Hangzhou. After sending her a message, I received a response, so I looked up her number and added her as a friend.
The conversation went smoothly, and she responded positively. She was a recent college graduate and elementary school teacher on an island, with a narrow social circle, only returning to the city on weekends. Her conversation was very lively and engaging; she was simple and honest, yet possessed strong opinions and keen intuition. She frequently read and wrote, having read extensively and continuing to read, even publishing hundreds of thousands of words of online fiction. I obtained the link and read it, quite impressed by her writing talent. Of course, the most frequent topic of conversation was her romantic troubles. She lamented the narrowness of her social circle and the lack of quality men, having gone on countless blind dates during holidays and weekends without finding anyone she liked, leading her to the sudden idea of searching online. She was only communicating with me as a temporary measure; there were many eager men online but few to discuss, so she treated it as a social survey to understand men's psychology. She had never seriously dated a man, though she had had a few fleeting crushes, but when she tried to express them openly, they felt uninteresting and ended the relationship. During the six months we chatted, she seemed to have a crush on a boy and even tried to pursue him, but ultimately, nothing came of it. I have always encouraged her to help her analyze the boy's psychology, but unfortunately the boy lacks the patience to appreciate her talent and kindness. Her appearance is average, not a beauty at first glance, but rather delicate and slightly thin.
Frequent conversations led to a mutual attraction, evolving from initial jokes to a deeper connection. The obstacle was objective: I was married with a family, while she had never had a boyfriend, causing us both considerable anxiety and turmoil. She was kind-hearted, unwilling to interfere even if she liked someone, and ashamed of being a third party. I was quite conflicted about whether I should "go all the way" and take her virginity. Naturally, the topic of sex came up. Her knowledge from books and her best friend's advice was rather superficial; she was both curious and afraid, including towards someone like me. The lack of photos added to the mystery and intrigue, as she had never truly experienced a man's advances. We discussed our confusion and longing at length. Later, we decided to meet in person first, letting things unfold naturally. We've been communicating deeply for over half a year now, a truly rare and precious connection.
The first time we met, I was on a business trip to her city. That evening, she took me for a walk in the seaside park for over an hour. With a little persistence, I gradually took her hand, then pulled her into my arms, kissing and caressing her. I even forcefully pulled her hand to my erection, letting her experience the joy of intimacy. She went from being shy about holding my hand to lying limply in my arms, panting softly. I was captivated by her shy and passionate beauty. Of course, since it was our first meeting in a park, and we still had some reservations, this intimacy exceeded my expectations (I thought it would be fine if we didn't contact each other again). On the way home, she became much more shy, adorable, and affectionate, naturally holding hands and embracing and kissing as needed.
We continued our online chats, though we were in different cities. The conversation gradually centered on our relationship, and my conflicted feelings became increasingly complex and volatile. At one point, things stalled, and I even considered ending it all. Three or four months later, I was in a city near hers and tried to meet her. She hesitated for a long time, but unexpectedly, she came. We had previously discussed the meaning and process of going on another date, and this time it happened. We spent two nights and a half days together, and I fully felt her initial confusion, pain, and attachment. I still especially miss the warm and sweet moments we shared the next day, strolling in the park and basking in the sun. We lingered until noon on the third day before we went our separate ways. She resolutely got into her car and later told me that she had come with the intention of experiencing this once and then cutting off all contact.
Because of the long distance and her conflicted feelings, it took another two or three months before we met again in a nearby city and spent two nights and a day together. The dates were sweet and intimate, but parting was heartbreaking. She told me she watched the snowflakes dance outside the car window and silently shed tears; I listened silently too. In our daily conversations, she continued working and dating, and I sincerely encouraged and advised her. Two or three months later, I went to her city and spent two weekend nights together. Two or three months later, she took a vacation to Hangzhou, and I accompanied her to see the lotus flowers and climb the top of Baoshi Mountain to see the Hangzhou night view. Two or three months after that, I took a vacation to camp at the beach in her city for two nights. She sneaked out to stay with me during the day until very late. Her parents, of course, kept our relationship a secret. She said that every date with me was a process of going from complete unfamiliarity to familiarity and sweetness, and then to the sadness of parting.
Conversely, she found her blind dates dull and uninteresting; many couldn't sit still for even a moment, let alone exchange more than a few words before wanting to leave. I tried to stop her from talking to Yunlu, but she didn't respond. Thankfully, I could find her school online and see that her teaching and classes were excellent, with numerous awards, which made me quite happy.

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