Occasionally indulging in pleasure, part 4: A Chinese woman's past.

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Looking back on my relationship with her, I feel only one word: "tired"! The process was exhausting and difficult, and even now, thinking about it still makes me feel tired!
Her profile on the dating website was brief but elegant and thoughtful. Although she was 34, the oldest person I'd ever dated, her figure was great. After exchanging messages, we immediately added each other. She must have carefully read my profile, perhaps because it matched her current requirements for a partner. We chatted on QQ for a few days, taking time out of our busy schedules, and learned about each other's situations. She was from a well-known overseas Chinese hometown in the province, had studied abroad during her university years, and married a Chinese man after graduation. After marriage, she started a successful business in that country and, in recent years, seeing the potential of the domestic market, tried starting a business in China. Her parents lived in China. Her QQ profile showed a photo of her—a capable and alluring woman in flowing white clothes. She possessed the kindness of a traditional Chinese woman, was usually very sincere and warm-hearted, and was very understanding of my privacy concerns in online dating (she quickly gave me her name, but I insisted on using my online name and not sending photos), always saying she was absolutely harmless.
She went on dating websites because she was so lonely. Her excellent husband was doing research in another country and was having an affair with another woman. She had actually found the woman's home and work address in China, but ultimately decided against going to her house to make a scene, as that wouldn't be in line with her kind nature and style. In fact, her husband had already had another affair before, and she had almost divorced him, but she endured it for the sake of her children. Unfortunately, her youthful beauty was wasted on long-term suspicion and pain, leading to depression. She often posts on WeChat late at night, sometimes with poems she wrote herself, a few words, shared articles, photos of her night runs, or work photos. She has many suitors; one university professor even writes poems for her frequently.
Meeting and getting to know her was naturally a stroke of luck. She was genuinely delighted, calling me her Hangzhou lover. We relaxed and unwinded together, taking walks and strolls at night, visiting West Lake, Xixi Wetland, and Baoshi Mountain. Most of our dates took place late at night, involving walks, strolls, and occasional intimate moments, lingering for long periods, reluctant to part. I, involuntarily, became a night owl. In the early stages of our relationship, we dreamed of our beautiful future together, seeking opportunities to admire her tea ceremony, Western cuisine, and her soon-to-be-opened studio and showroom. Her home was filled with countless books, including an autobiographical work she had been writing for many years. Occasionally, we would travel together to other cities, even abroad…
After chatting for a few days, we arranged to meet at the park, which felt like an interview. We seemed to admire each other. Her years of living and working both domestically and internationally, and her experience in the business world, had given her a refined and cultured air, reminiscent of a well-bred lady. We met again the next day at her home. She had prepared noodles for lunch and was waiting for me. After lunch, she sat with me on the sofa and watched a movie. She often watched movies on the sofa alone at night before falling asleep. We naturally embraced and kissed, becoming intimate. She was shy yet passionate, even shedding tears, saying it had been so long since we'd been intimate. She kept asking me if she had become a bad person, since she had insisted on keeping her virginity until her wedding night, and now she had found a lover online and brought him to her home! Her face and body possessed the elegant charm of a mature woman, and I genuinely cherished and passionately loved her! The day after our first date, she went on a business trip to investigate the market. We met again several days later, around 11 pm. I went to her house. Her child was still awake, excitedly playing with his uncle, and it was quite late before he finally went to sleep. After our intimacy, we cuddled and went to sleep, then, fearing the children would find out, we slipped away early the next morning. Of course, we also had several late-night dates before and after, where we exercised and chatted together. She was both alluring and resilient during her workouts. Although she often suffered from insomnia due to late nights, she maintained her morning run habit, occasionally participating in night runs around West Lake, and also participating in 10km marathons in Hangzhou, Beijing, and Xiamen. However, she was mostly busy launching new products, setting up showrooms, meeting clients, and expanding the market, often working overtime until the early hours or even all night. Our WeChat communication was infrequent, only occasionally checking each other's WeChat updates for brief interaction. From her updates, one could sense her fluctuating emotions.
We were planning a date the day before a traditional Chinese festival, but on the day of the festival, she told me that her husband had suddenly flown back from abroad to spend the holiday with her, so the date had to be canceled. I guessed that her husband noticed her unusual mood on WeChat and came to check on her. Her husband stayed in Hangzhou for over a month, and she posted affectionate photos of him on WeChat. In between, she occasionally made excuses to come over and go for walks and dates with me by West Lake.
They discussed going on vacation abroad together. When they returned after more than a month, she seemed to have changed emotionally, and her career was also progressing well. I asked her out a few times, but she rarely responded positively, saying she would contact me again once her career was more stable. From our brief exchanges and the occasional late-night walks we took, her emotions were consistently unstable. Although she and her husband were polite when together, their affection was limited, and the rift between them remained. She was conflicted and her emotions fluctuated. I didn't know how to advise her to reconcile or separate; I just felt sorry for her and listened to her complaints. She continued to work tirelessly on marketing products, and gradually, we lost contact. For a while, I was also busy dealing with unexpected family matters and became exhausted. She sensed something was wrong with me. We would occasionally exchange greetings online, but rarely had serious conversations. Much later, we had a late-night date and walked together for a very long time. After that, she deleted me from QQ and WeChat, and I never heard from her again.

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