Sharing my dating experience

page views:1 Publication date:2017-12-02

Those who genuinely connect with their spouses are driven by genuine sincerity. However, this sincerity is often exploited by unscrupulous individuals, causing many couples to be heartbroken and leave the community—a truly regrettable situation. While we deeply abhor these pathetic and despicable individuals, we must also protect ourselves. Below are some examples of such individuals I've encountered. If you encounter them, the best course of action is to immediately blacklist them without hesitation.
1. No time during leisure time. On non-holidays, 8 PM to midnight is often the best time for couples to chat, but some people deliberately avoid this time. They might be online during the day while at work, appearing very sincere and earnest, claiming they can chat about a lot of things while alone in the office. If you ask if you can video chat in the evening, they'll either say the kids are there and it's inconvenient, or they have too much to do—in short, they'll never be online with all four of you present at night. However, these people have one major characteristic: they usually reappear on QQ after midnight. If you ask why they're so late, they'll definitely say they just finished something. The most significant characteristic of these people is that they will never go online when all four of you are available.
This type of person can be categorized as follows: single men, men who cheat on their wives and try to take advantage of others (remember, even in real life, you should never befriend this type of person, because their behavior is extremely selfish).
2. They usually go online during their leisure time in the evening. When you request video verification, they will have several possible responses:
Let me find out more first, no rush into a video call. If someone says the same thing two or three times in a row, block them immediately. In my opinion, this kind of person is either a single man or someone satisfying their curiosity behind their wife's back.
b. When you request video verification, the other person immediately becomes agitated and throws out swearing and insults, such as saying things like, "Couples should be honest with each other. Don't you trust me at all?" In my judgment, this person is definitely a single man with a low level of education, using the habits of a scoundrel in his attempts to make friends with his spouse.
c. You requested video verification, and the other party agreed. However, when you turned on the video, either no one was in the video or the video was not turned on at all. This happened repeatedly. I don't need to say more; this is a low-level scam.
d. You request video verification, and the other party agrees. Both of you turn on the video, but the other party keeps pointing the camera at themselves. You ask to see their wife, and they point the camera at her for a few seconds before immediately turning it back to themselves, or simply showing only one of their wife's arms. If you encounter this kind of couple, I advise you not to get involved, because they have extremely strong male chauvinism and an inflated ego. Even if you do get involved, it won't end well.
If you request a video call, and the other person claims they don't have a camera at home, sends you a few photos, tries to convince you to "believe" them, and asks to meet in person to become friends, in this situation, the other person is most likely a couple, and it depends on your personal preference.
3. During the chat, the other person keeps asking you endless questions about your feelings on this topic, but never gets to the point. This type of person is mostly a single man trying to satisfy his curiosity. I won't say more; you know what to do.
4. The video verification shows that they are a couple, but they don't talk much about marital matters during the chat. Instead, they keep asking about other things about you, such as your education, job, and even your specific workplace and financial situation. I'm not sure what their purpose is, but after chatting like this once or twice, I will block them.
Meet
After chatting a few times and verifying each other via video at least twice (it must be at least twice), and arranging a time to meet, in my experience, the following situations generally occur:
1. The age difference between the couple and their stated age is extremely large. To date, of all the couples I've met, only one couple's ages match their stated ages. The most outrageous couple was where the man looked well into his early 50s, but his partner claimed to be 36. In such cases, it's up to you personally; if you think it's suitable, then it's suitable, if you don't, then it's not. However, I should clarify that this is a unique characteristic of Lanzhou. The out-of-town couples I've met, despite geographical limitations preventing them from truly connecting, are generally honest about their age.
2. When you meet them in person, they are completely different from how you saw them in the video. They were handsome and beautiful in the video, but in person, you are disappointed. The man is thin and small, and the woman, apart from her face being passable, is so small she's almost invisible standing next to you. In this situation, my approach is to still politely have a meal together, because after all, they are sincere. Of course, for couples who don't care about appearances, it doesn't matter.
Let me clarify here: never trust any videos or photos from the other party. The person you see in a video or photo is generally very different from the real person. Some people might even pull some underhanded tricks, leaving you even more confused.
Meeting in person is essential. Let me give you an example. In a video, you only see the face. Some people are photogenic, others aren't. With those photogenic people, you can't see their whole picture. You'll be greatly disappointed when you meet them in person. Anyone who's married and has a little experience will definitely value their overall appearance, not just their face, especially since there's a difference between a face on video and a photo on screen. And those who aren't photogenic will be the ones you miss out on.
Regarding meeting, I still advise couples to first understand their own worth and not have overly high expectations of each other. Couples like Tong Dawei would never meet with you; they just casually show their faces and who knows how much money they've pocketed.
Our principle is that a person should have regular facial features, nothing strange, and their body proportions shouldn't be too outrageous. More importantly, they should be reliable and have good judgment.

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