Advice from couples

page views:1 Publication date:2019-03-14

I'm not very good at writing, but seeing the inner struggles of many couples on the forum, I couldn't help but write down our experiences. Everyone is welcome to share their opposing or other opinions for discussion.

Let me first tell you about my husband and me. My husband and I are very loving. We've been married for over four years, and we still often joke with each other, saying, "I feel like I'm still dating you." Our love seems irrevocably strong; we both feel like we want to cherish each other every single day. Four years have passed, and we haven't experienced the seven-year itch that people often talk about. Whenever we're together, reminiscing about our early days, the happiness we feel is indescribable.

My husband is very attentive to my feelings during sex, and I know he wants me to enjoy it. However, the physiological differences between men and women are predetermined. I've suddenly entered my prime, and my husband, due to work, life, and other pressures, sometimes worries that I'm not satisfied. No matter how I explain that being with him is the most fulfilling thing, I can't dispel his concerns. Earlier this year, after the Nanjing incident was reported in the newspaper, he excitedly showed me the paper (the local newspapers reported on this matter in a relatively positive and objective way). He told me he also wanted to have a partner and hoped I would satisfy him. Like most women, my first reaction was resistance and opposition. My husband pleaded and begged, and finally I reluctantly agreed to learn more about this (provided I knew he loved me, and I had no doubt about his love). I went online to look at relevant websites and forums, read many articles by netizens, and gradually changed my views on this matter.

Couples who do this fall into two categories: 1) Couples who have been together for many years and know each other's bodies too well and are too familiar with each other's bodies, so they lose the passion they had in their sex life and seek new stimulation by swapping partners.

2 is the situation of my husband and me: one of us is always worried that our partner is not satisfied, so we try to satisfy our partner.

In fact, couples who propose swapping partners generally have a very good relationship. At the very least, they haven't betrayed each other, but rather are seeking change in a relatively fair way. So when your partner makes such a request, never doubt their feelings.

In addition, most wives share the same concerns: 1. They worry their husbands will change their minds because of this; 2. They worry their husbands will become addicted to it; 3. They worry about the affair being exposed and their safety; 4. They feel aversion towards strange men. My opinion is as follows:

The fact that your husband brought this up already proves his love and his unwillingness to betray you. If you still object, aren't you afraid that one day he might not be able to resist and betray you? Wouldn't that be even more painful? On this issue, the couple must first reach a consensus: this is just a game, to be discarded after it's over, and not to dwell on it. The ugliest analogy is: it's like you've shared a live toy once. Actually, once both partners have this understanding, what is there to worry about? Some couples we've dated suggested getting to know each other better, relying on feelings and attraction. I think this viewpoint is the most dangerous and wrong. If you approach the exchange with feelings and attraction, the consequence might indeed be infidelity. As long as you're sure the other person is a sincere, genuine, healthy, and well-mannered partner, that's enough. I also have another opinion: in the exchange, the psychological stimulation is actually greater than the physical stimulation. When you see your loved one embracing someone else, the feeling is indescribable. As for the physical aspect, although there is some stimulation, it's actually better to do it with your loved one. After all, you're already familiar with each other, know each other's preferences, and can please each other. Especially for women, it's rare to have such strong physical stimulation with a stranger on the first time.

I'm worried that my husband will become addicted to this game, but I don't think there's any need to worry. Let things take their natural course. Maybe you'll be the one who gets addicted in the end?

To avoid leaks, it's necessary to address this issue. Couples entering this game should be aware of potential risks. Ideally, neither party should show their face during the video call. Only after confirming the other is also a couple should they simultaneously adjust the video angle. This can effectively prevent unnecessary harassment. Furthermore, during communication, do not reveal your personal information; your work and address should not be disclosed. It's best to obtain a temporary phone card and not give your usual number to the other party to prevent subsequent harassment. Also, it's best to avoid local couples and choose couples from other areas, and avoid meeting in the same city. This will minimize safety issues. For accommodation, it's best to stay in a relatively good hotel. Remember, neither party should check in first; both should check in simultaneously. Once in the room, agree that both partners should put their personal belongings in the closet, not leave them out unattended. The reasons for this are self-evident.

The aversion to strange men can be resolved during the initial contact stage. Video chats should be done several times. As long as you are not averse to the other person's appearance, there shouldn't be any major problems after you actually meet in person.

After meeting, couples shouldn't immediately go to a hotel. My suggestion is to chat first, have tea, karaoke, or a meal—these are all good options. However, don't leave halfway through unless you discover your partner's poor character. Also, pay attention to your health; it's best to use a condom or bring disinfectant and wash thoroughly in the shower. The woman should also bring topical medication; inserting one after intercourse can prevent many problems. Bring lubricant as well. If there's any lubrication, it can cause discomfort and make things worse. Otherwise, it can lead to problems and make things difficult to maintain. Jun,  蠹疑瞪档淖耪庋角贾潞苻限蔚某：妗W苤嬷昂故且谐浞值慕涣骱妥急福灰﹄侵换嵩诮煌墓讨性黾用挥斜匾穆趴场?/DIV>

My husband and I have had this experience several times now, but our relationship hasn't changed; in fact, it's better than before. My husband asks me about my experience, and we feel more passionate together. All I want to say is that swapping isn't scary; as long as couples are honest with each other, their relationship will reach new heights.

I wish all couples a happy life.
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