Developing a Good Family Wife 4 - Meeting her again was already...

page views:1 Publication date:2020-05-17

Using the word "development" now seems inappropriate. The concept of "who's attacking whom" has disappeared; we're simply friends, and we consider each other friends—friends I can see, the kind of friends I'd drive hundreds of kilometers to visit.
I had previously told her about my annual trip to Dongguan to see friends, so when I suggested visiting her specifically, she felt my sincerity, but also considered it a waste of money for me to drive all the way, so she politely declined. Instead, she suggested we meet during a business trip.
She's a virtuous, traditional, and conservative wife, not good at expressing herself. Even in this materialistic society, she's a breath of fresh air, not talking about sex, not engaging in video chats or nude conversations. If I hadn't pressed her last night, she wouldn't have discussed sex either. But not discussing sex doesn't mean she doesn't need it, nor does it mean she rejects it. Undoubtedly, what she needs most isn't sex, but heartfelt friendship.
She's a stay-at-home mom accompanying her child to school, not working, and finding a job locally that allows her to care for her child and earn money isn't easy. I've tried to help her, but so far, I haven't been able to. She didn't have a stable income, so she said she was embarrassed to invite me to visit her. Undoubtedly, she's a very polite friend; she needed money, but wouldn't accept a red envelope (a monetary gift), knowing that money should be earned ethically. She has excellent lathe skills, but in this small county, she can't find suitable work because working in a factory would prevent her from taking care of her child. Without a factory job, she has no stable income, only odd jobs, and is financially constrained; anything beyond food, clothing, and shelter is a luxury for her.
Actually, a few days ago, during a conversation with her, we had a big conflict. She wanted to find a lover, and I said that as a friend, I didn't recommend it, as it would involve too much emotion and would eventually lead to hurt. I told her I didn't want a lover with emotional ties; I only wanted friends I could talk to, who respected and understood me, and with shared needs (sexual needs)—relatively stable friends. She said it wasn't exciting without emotional involvement, and I said that with emotional involvement, she would get hurt (to be precise, she would get hurt), while without emotional involvement, there would be mutual respect, no debt, and the ability to leave at any time without harming each other.
She disagreed with my approach to friendship. I told her I would respect her thoughts and choices, but I wasn't suitable for her, not suitable as a lover. I was only suitable as a friend—a friend I could communicate with, a friend I could have sex with, a friend who could care for me when appropriate. We needed to clarify these things before meeting and having sex, instead of letting her get hurt or feel manipulated after I'd had my way with her. I would be aggressive, aggressive, and proactive, but not every opportunity would be beneficial; some opportunities would cause trouble for both of us. Therefore, we needed to communicate honestly, even openly, without avoiding problems or conflicts. If we found it was still possible and worthwhile to meet, then we would proceed.
Next time I come over, I'll invite her. I know she won't accept anything, even money from friends, but I think I'll bring her some local specialties and give her a red envelope after we meet, explaining that I want to buy something for her child, but I don't know what the child likes, so I'm giving her the red envelope to ask her to buy it for me. This avoids any suspicion of buying and selling, and also saves her face. All of this isn't because I'm rich and powerful, but because in this materialistic society, focusing solely on friendship without any material involvement is undoubtedly hypocritical and opportunistic.
I will refuse any woman whose primary motivation is material possessions and money, because I'm just a working-class person and can't afford to play that game. However, I still need to have feelings for her, otherwise it's not very manly.
I'm a womanizer, even a scumbag, but I always aim to make friends (not for casual sex). I have a clear understanding of the appropriate level of interaction with different women. Some women are only suitable for chatting and being confidantes, not for sleeping with; sleeping with them completely changes the dynamic. Some women get upset if you don't (in words or actions). Some women are open to emotional connection and don't refuse to meet; others don't need emotional connection or even friendship, just physical intimacy (this is the type I dislike the most, but it has the lowest operating costs, and I need their "hole," so it's also under consideration). I only interact with her and don't consider finding new women in the area. To ensure mutual sincerity and diligence,
I'm currently suspending any new "developing married women" tasks, as it's not suitable for me to participate in activities as a single man. If we become a relatively stable, spontaneous friendship, at least in her city (where I regularly travel for work), I won't pursue any other women or engage in conversations with other women in the area. It's not that I'm particularly special, but I want her to see me as someone I value as a friend, not someone I'm merely using.

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