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My name is Roujia, I'm 26 years old, and I'm a department manager at a shopping mall. I have a good lifestyle; before marriage, I only
had sex with a few boyfriends, and I haven't cheated on my wife since. Although many people pursue me
, I may seem arrogant, but I have a gentle personality, get along well with my colleagues, and have a good reputation at work. My husband and I don't have children yet.
My husband loves me very much, and I'm wholeheartedly devoted to our family. Life went on peacefully, day after day, until
one day , something shattered this tranquility.
It was last month when someone added me as a QQ friend. I accepted, even though I didn't know him or him from any group chat
. He claimed to know me, that he knew me in real life. I asked him how he knew my QQ number, since
no one in real life except close friends and family knows it. He didn't say.
I didn't believe he knew me; I thought he was joking. He gave me my phone number, and then I realized he really did know me.
I still didn't believe it; I wondered if he had stolen my phone number or found it by chance. He said
he'd met me, and I'd met him too. He told me about my family, things I'd never shared with anyone before. It seemed
he wasn't just an online friend; he was someone I knew in real life. But why did he know
so ? Who was he to me? Was it my husband impersonating someone else? That didn't seem likely.
Then he said something even more unexpected: he said my husband and mother had slept together, and my father-in-law and
mother-in-law slept together. He said my husband and sister had a secret agreement. I was skeptical. If I didn't believe him, he
knew everything about my family—where we ate, where we celebrated birthdays, where we went out. If I did believe him, my husband was a womanizer,
but how could he have slept with my mother? I'd never doubted that my husband was after my sister. But
how did this person know all this? Who told him?
I asked him how he knew, but he wouldn't say. I started analyzing. This person, knowing so much, must
be very close to my family—maybe a friend of my husband, my mother, my father-
in-law, or my sister. If my mother and father-in-law had slept together, it's possible she
told this person. My father-in-law wouldn't have told my husband or my sister,
so my father-in-law's brother can be ruled out. If my husband and mother had slept together, given his character and personality, he would never tell anyone. It must have been my mother
who told this mysterious person, making my mother the prime suspect. My husband wanted to sleep with my sister, but he would never tell anyone.
How did this
mysterious mysterious person. Therefore, my mother is the prime suspect. The fact that she would dare tell him such private matters suggests their relationship
is unusual; he might be my mother's lover.
I asked him who he was, but he wouldn't say. I asked for his phone number, hoping to get it and see if I knew him
, but he still wouldn't tell me. He said he would tell me later. I'm confused. What's the
point of him telling me all this? It's my family's business, not mine. What's his purpose in saying this? There's always a reason. I asked him
why was telling me all this, what his purpose was. He mysteriously said he'd explain later.
Did my mother really have sex with my husband and father-in-law? What kind of agreement did my sister and husband make? I want to know
if the answers are true. He doesn't dare call me, probably afraid of exposing himself, so he chats with me on QQ.
If I'm invisible and ignore him, he can't communicate with me. But I'm curious, I still want to know
what and his mysterious identity. Is what he said about my family true? I have no evidence, so I
can't believe everything he says. I've asked my husband, my mother, and my father-in-law, but I can't ask them. They won't say anything even if I do. If they really are like this,
keeping it from me for so long, they must be very cunning. Only my sister is innocent. If she and my husband have any secrets,
I can get her to tell me, but I'll take it slowly and find the right opportunity. I'm not in a hurry, I'll take it slowly.
I believe about 70-80% of what he said. If there are such messy things in my family, I'm afraid people will find out,
and I'm even more afraid that he knows so much about our family and might pose a danger to us. I'm afraid he's an enemy of my family in business or some
other way , seeking revenge. I asked him what his purpose was, and he said that he told me these things not for revenge
, but because he had a purpose. He's keeping his motives secret, acting all mysterious. Why won't he
tell my husband? If he has a purpose, he should only tell me. His aim must be me, but he says he'll tell me
later , which only makes me more curious and worried. I can't figure out his motives.
I'm afraid he'll find out my secrets and use them to blackmail me, but he hasn't mentioned them. Maybe my mother
doesn't know about my situation, so he doesn't know either. He knows everything through my mother; that must be it.
If it's not revenge, what other motive could it be? First, money; second, sex. I really can't think of anything else that would
interest a man like me. I manage my husband's and my money, so it's very possible he'd ask for it. Secondly, there's sex.
He wants to have sex with me. If I do, he'll keep my family's situation a secret. If he threatens me into having sex, I absolutely won't
agree. I don't know what his purpose is. If I knew, it would be easier to deal with him; not knowing makes me really worried. He has
n't said he has any motives towards me, and maybe his conditions aren't directly related to me, and he wants to achieve them through me.
If his purpose is to have sex with me, I won't agree to anything without boundaries. I'm gentle, but
not weak. I've been married for several years and know my husband is a womanizer. He wants to sleep with other men's wives, and he also wants
to .
It's hard to say if he even enjoys having sex with my mother. My husband doesn't seem to have a specific type of woman he likes. A mysterious person said my husband had sex with my mother before we got married. We married shortly after we met, and I don't know how he had sex with her—was it out of love
or a transaction? The mysterious person didn't say.
My husband loves me and doesn't allow other men to touch me. He gets jealous if I talk to other men.
I'm not afraid of the mysterious person's threats, not because I'm afraid he has ulterior motives, but because I'm worried. He's someone in my real life; I'm in the open,
he's in the shadows. He knows my life and will see me, but I don't know who he is. Even
if
we met in person, I wouldn't know who he is. Living in this situation is stressful and worrying. I'll try to get information out of my sister. I'll think about it and see what he says next. What he said doesn't seem
fake. I'm depressed. How could something like this happen in my family? I thought it only happened in novels or in
other people's homes. I've lost interest in sex with my husband; I'm just forcing it. I need to calm down and investigate further.
Roujia's Diary: A Female M's Experience, Chapter Two: At the
end of July, my dad and I went back to our hometown and returned on August 3rd. Our hometown is in the countryside, and the cell phone signal is poor.
I can't take a bath because of land surveying and visiting graves. I also have land, though my household registration isn't there;
it will be gone when it's redistributed. I've never
farmed before and don't know how. He knew my whereabouts. Before I went back to my hometown, he chatted with me, asking how many days I'd be back. I hadn't
told him before I went home, but he knew I was going back, so he must have asked my family or spoken to them.
My mom, my sister, my father-in-law, my brother-in-law, and my husband all know I went back to my hometown. It's unlikely my sister, father-in-law, and
brother-in-law told him; this person has a lot to do with my mom and husband.
He said he's close to my mom, and my mom and husband have complicated relationships. I also suspect my mom
told this mysterious person. For her to tell him something like this, her relationship with him must be unusual, but unfortunately, I don't know
the people my mom associates with.
My mom told him that my husband and I, my father-in-law and my mom, and my husband and sister have secrets. Of course, my mom also told him
that this is possible; they all know, but they're only hiding it from me. But
what does ? My mom definitely won't let him tell anyone.
He said he'd seen me, but I didn't recognize him. He didn't dare reveal his identity first, meaning he didn't tell me his purpose, and I
didn't know my reaction or his intentions. I sensed he was quite old; he seemed very calm,
chatting with me slowly and steadily, as if he had everything under control.
He knew about my family's incestuous relationship and might want to drag me into it or coerce me into having sex. I know I'm sexy and alluring,
and every man would want me and wouldn't let the opportunity pass. I had a feeling he had a controlling streak. My husband sleeps with me every day but
acts like that with my mother. If it's true, I'm quite upset and want to find out. No one does things without a reason; he told me he
definitely had an ulterior motive and couldn't possibly be letting me know out of kindness. He said he wouldn't tell me why yet, which only fueled my
curiosity. I felt his intentions towards me were unusual, and I couldn't figure it out. It's okay if he doesn't tell me; he'll be the one who loses patience
eventually I don't ask, he'll eventually reveal his purpose.
He's my mother's lover. I wonder if he'd harm us. It's hard to say. I control a lot of my husband's money,
so he might be after money, but that's unlikely. Another possibility is that he wants to sleep with me. But he knows
my family and me so well; he should have asked my mother about my personality and then asked my husband through her. He should
know my character. I'm not a promiscuous person. If he wanted to sleep with me, I would never agree. He should know
my integrity. But I feel he's not in a hurry to tell me his purpose, as if he's already certain of success. I'm increasingly confused about
his true motives.
I wasn't born there; I was born in a very remote, ordinary rural area. There must be a lot between my mother and me. My husband wants to sleep with
my sister. My husband and mother must be very close, and my mother told the mysterious man. That makes it easier to understand
why the mysterious man knows. Maybe that's it. (From Roujia's Diary: A Female M's Experience, Chapter 3: Purpose)
I wasn't born there; I was born in a very remote, ordinary rural area. There must be quite a few things going on with my mother. My husband wants to sleep
with my sister. He and my mother probably talk about everything, and my mother also told the mysterious person
. That makes it easy to understand why the mysterious person knows. Maybe that's how it is.
That person must be interested in me. He mentioned me to my mother, and she definitely didn't object. On August
4th, my husband and I had sex, just like usual. I remained calm so my husband wouldn't sense my
unusual .
That person already knew about my family's affairs. Why did he only tell me now? Maybe it's inconvenient for him to tell me. He only just
found out about my QQ account. I don't know why. Maybe he only found out about my QQ account recently. My husband is
bisexual and wants to sleep with both mother and daughter. I feel like my sister won't easily agree to it. My mother is naturally promiscuous, but my
sister are not like her. I don't understand what kind of agreement it is. Maybe he'll tell me after we get to know each other better
.
That man said my mom listens to him, so she told him everything. He said he was interested in me, and that
one sentence revealed his true intentions. A man's interest in a woman isn't necessarily about sex; it turns out he
wasn't after money. He was really after something when he talked to me about these things.
He said he likes to make women psychologically submissive. Isn't that implying that my mom is willing
to let him have sex with her, and he wants me to be psychologically willing to let him have sex with me too?
I don't think he's trying to threaten me; he seems very confident. He should
know about me from my mom and my husband, that I'm not promiscuous. I don't know who he is, and I don't like him. He
should know I won't let anyone have sex with me easily, so how can he be so confident?
He said I'm like my mom, with masochistic tendencies that most people can't tell, and even the person themselves might not
know . He called it SM, and he said it's what my mom and I have. So, his secret weapon for making my mom psychologically submissive is SM.
I've heard of SM, but I don't understand it. My impression of it is that it's perverted; S is sadism, and M
is masochism. What do you mean by "M-like tendencies"? I don't even know I'm like that. How did he know me? He must
have asked my mom about everything, but even my mom doesn't fully understand me unless my husband has spoken to her. But my
husband isn't a pervert, he's not a SM.
I used to like men calling me a slut, which most women have probably done. Maybe that's what M-
like tendencies are, I
can't .
I like being conquered by men in bed. During sex, I'll fulfill all their demands. I like men
to fuck me until I'm completely submissive, to play with me until I'm completely obedient. I don't crave masochism, but simple humiliation is
acceptable —calling me a slut, having sex with me, it's all fine. He understands me, but he doesn't force himself on me. He knows
I won't sleep with just anyone, and he wants to psychologically mold me into the way my mother does in bed.
This mysterious man is pretty much aiming for that. He gradually revealed it, even without me asking, so I
knew he had an ulterior motive. Knowing his motive made me feel relieved; he'd be easier to deal with. He might
have gotten information about my body from my mother, and then from my husband. It's uncertain.
My mother is no simple woman. My father is a good man in my eyes, and even he couldn't control her
. This mysterious person making her obey is certainly not simple; at least they share the same interests
. Is SM really that magical, capable of controlling a woman's mind?
Does my husband want me to have sex with my mother? I feel unlikely; I know my husband's personality. But...
What secret agreement do my father-in-law and my sister have? Could it be that he and my mother made my husband sleep with my sister on the condition that this
mysterious man sleep with me? I don't think it's that serious. My husband loves me; he gets angry if I talk to other men. He wouldn't
use me as a bargaining chip. This mysterious man might not even know my husband. He's using my mother to listen to him, and my mother asked my
husband to understand me, so it must be something like that.
He said my mother rarely slept with my father-in-law after she married him, saying my father-in-law has a big penis and knows how to fuck,
but my mother doesn't psychologically submit to him. The mysterious man said my mother and my husband haven't had a relationship for a long time either.
Is SM really that magical, making my mother seem like she's been given a love potion? Or is it because my mother is too promiscuous, casual about
family relationships , and doesn't care about incest? Maybe. I'm not like my mother. This mysterious man wants me
to willingly let him sleep with me; how could I agree?
He didn't say how he knew I was a submissive, only that he understood my inner self. Am I really a submissive at heart? How did he figure that out
? Can a professional dominant discover the inner self of a submissive that ordinary people can't
see only a skilled horse connoisseur can spot? I can't quite explain it. He seems to have some insight into my inner self, but not a complete understanding
. Perhaps he thinks it's unnecessary to know my entire inner self; just knowing I'm a submissive and taking me as his bitch is
enough for him.
He said my mother enjoys being controlled by him, that this psychological enjoyment is transcendent, implying that I should also
enjoy his control. He's probably not a mild dominant; he's a standard, true dominant. He's never
talked to me about this before, so I don't know what I'm thinking or how he figured out my submissive tendencies. I'll ask him more questions later.
He doesn't say much; he's a real expert, seemingly reading my mind, deliberately keeping quiet to give me time
to think about his words.
Even if I enjoy being conquered and disciplined, it has to be based on genuine affection. If I were to have sex with someone I liked, and he
bound me, humiliated me, and made me his submissive, I'd probably be willing. But none of my boyfriends
have had a penchant for BDSM. If he doesn't force me but slowly works his way up psychologically, would I gradually submit to him? No way, that would
violate my principles. My principle is not to do things with people I don't like. Perhaps most women have a submissive streak
, but some have it developed. Even if I were a submissive, if I didn't meet a dominant, I wouldn't let it develop.
Maybe I don't fully understand BDSM. It's not just about having a man you like; even without emotional
attraction, there can be transcendence and emotional submission.
The mysterious person chatted with me again today. I asked him, "How did you know I have masochistic tendencies?"
He said, "I can't be wrong about you; you just haven't fully let go of your inner self. I'll ask you a few questions;
you can . Do you like being controlled during sex? Do you like kneeling
and licking a penis? Do you like crawling like a bitch and being fucked? Do you like being spanked? Do you like being called a slut?" He
even added a wicked smiley emoji at the end.
I didn't answer. He had been chatting with me in a gentlemanly manner, and this was the first time he'd said such lewd things, talking about penises, fucking
, and calling me a slut. I felt shy for a while. He's a real person, not someone I don't know online;
he's seen me before.
I guess I've had all those kinds of women, but I especially like them. Maybe that's because I'm a latent masochist. "Like being controlled
during sex means I like being conquered during sex, right? "Like kneeling and licking a penis"
—I really like oral sex, I especially like kneeling and licking a man's penis; it feels like being conquered by a man. Now
I understand, could this be the surface manifestation of my subconscious masochistic tendencies? I can accept all of this. My favorite
sex position is when a man fucks me from behind, including lying face down with my ass sticking up—that position really makes me look like a female dog.
I like doggy style; I used to feel that it penetrates deeply, making it more comfortable, and at the same time, there's an indescribable psychological
enjoyment. Now that he's pointed it out, I realize it's a masochistic tendency. That inexplicable feeling is probably what I
like that feeling of being fucked like a female dog. My ass is firm and perky, very sexy
, and I can accept light slapping during sex. He's seen me in person, so he probably observes my figure very closely.
During sex, some people call me a slut, and I don't mind it; in fact, I like it. This might be an
important manifestation of my masochistic tendencies. I was suddenly struck by his words, and I didn't answer him. He's never talked to me about this before
; it's my private sex life. How does he know so much? Maybe he's testing me, or maybe
he's a professional sadist and knows that's how masochists are. If it were an online friend, I wouldn't mind saying this, but he knows
me in real life, so I can't answer. If I say yes, wouldn't that be admitting I'm a masochist? But what he said
does apply to me; I do have masochistic tendencies.
He's been talking so lewdly, his purpose is very clear: it's not for money, he just wants to have sex with me, not just sex
, he wants to play with me, play with my mind and body, a perverted SM.
When he saw I didn't answer his question, he seemed to have expected it, knowing that I wouldn't
answer now given my personality. He also knew that my silence wasn't because I didn't like it, but because I was shy, so he didn't press me and continued
chatting calmly.
He said he has a very mature relationship with my mother, it's like kneeling as a slave, rising as a friend, and he really enjoys the process. He keeps
mentioning my mother, meaning he wants me to be his slave too, to enjoy the process. Then he's the master, his SM
psychology is different from ordinary people, he just wants to take me as his slave. I got my period on the 4th, right after we had sex.
But now, after listening to him talk, I feel desire down there. Is he right? Am I not fully satisfied?
I can't say for sure.
He said that being a submissive, always pursued, respected, high above, and well-off, actually lacks the desire to be
humiliated . I watched him talk silently, without feeling any aversion. I felt that what he said resonated with my
situation and psychology. He's very cultured and refined, probably related to his work. I asked him what he did, but he wouldn't say.
He said that the formation of a submissive is related to their personality and experiences, which makes a lot of sense. I have a docile personality, and while he doesn't
know my past experiences, I do, so it's related. I asked him if he, as the master, wanted to be humiliated and trampled on. He said of course not. He
was talking about submissives; the roles of master and slave are usually fixed and rarely interchangeable.
He only revealed his purpose now, which I never expected. I only thought he wanted to have sex with me; I never
imagined he was this kind of person. He doesn't just want sex; he wants to train me. I've had many suitors throughout my life,
but no one has ever pursued me this way before. Others have pursued me with affection or lust, sending flowers or saying words of love.
This mysterious man is different, yet his methods deeply captivated me.
He said that truly suitable slaves are rare, especially men, citing my sister's personality as an example, completely unsuitable for him.
He even observed my sister; if she were suitable, he would probably train her too. My husband loves my
sister so much because he wants to have sex with her. This mysterious man, however, has absolutely no interest in my sister. He's very fond of me, not
for sex, not for affection, but simply to subdue me and make me his bitch.
If he can find me and I don't want to, will he force me, beat me, or rape me? I asked him
if he engaged in forced training, and he said it had to be completely voluntary; threatening or forcing is illegal and pseudo-SM. It seems he's a true sadist,
his thinking already like a jihadist. My previous impression of SM was sadism; it seems I didn't understand. I
still have normal thoughts. Will he gradually turn me into a submissive? At least I don't feel repulsed by his conversations.
August 6, 2016, is the day he truly revealed his purpose, which may have a significant impact on my sexual experiences.

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