Recalling the things I "secretly" did

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Recalling the things I "secretly" did

(6200 words)

In 2001, I was a sophomore in a big city in the Pearl River Delta. All my buddies had found their sweethearts, while I was all alone. Every weekend I felt lonely because none of my friends were there to play cards or sports; they were all out on dates. Even the pretty girls in school were out having fun, and I didn't even have a chance to drool over them. The only thing that could give me a little excitement was the girl from the countryside who served food in the cafeteria. For countless weekends, she became the object of my fantasies. Thinking about it, how pathetic it is to be reduced to such a state! Later, even the girl was taken away by someone else and stopped working at the school. An older woman replaced her in the cafeteria, and I completely broke down. Back then, the school didn't have broadband. Using a 200-card and a 56kbps telecom card to access pornographic websites often took forever, and downloading a short clip took half a day—it was incredibly slow! My sexual interest was worn away by the waiting and the torment! No, I had to find a way to kill time on the weekend, and it had to be something exciting. But after racking my brains, I couldn't come up with anything.

Then one day, I got a phone call from an old classmate. He was also studying at a university in this city, though not at the same one as me. He told me he had a girlfriend, a local, and they were living together in some urban village. Wow, they were actually living together, and with a steady partner! Wasn't he trying to provoke me? He invited me to come over for the weekend, and being bored, I agreed. On Saturday morning, I arrived at the place he mentioned on time. He led me upstairs. It was a typical urban village, with buildings so close together that the distance between two buildings was less than a meter. If someone committed murder or rape in the apartment across the street, they could see everything. I followed him to the fifth floor, a two-bedroom, one-living-room apartment. Their room was a mess, like a doghouse. The other room was used to dry clothes, and there was also a kitchen. Seeing the bucket full of empty lunchboxes, I knew they hadn't cooked a single meal. There was even a condom on top of one of the lunchboxes. Damn! It was filthy! His girlfriend was there too, skinny, with a pale complexion, not pretty, no breasts or butt, just fair-skinned—and fair skin hides a hundred flaws, anyway. Seeing her in hot pants, her two snow-white thighs, actually made me a little dazed with lust. After all, I've been a vegetarian for a long time, and anything female has some attraction for me. My classmate said he'd take his girlfriend home first and come back later, telling me to watch TV or play on the computer for a bit before leaving. Bored, I looked around and saw their bedroom was a mess. I knew this guy must have been up to no good last night; there were several curly hairs on the sheets, I couldn't tell if they were my buddy's or his girlfriend's. I went to the bathroom to pee and saw clothes still soaking in their bucket, probably thrown in that morning, the detergent foam still lingering. On top was his girlfriend's small bra. Suddenly, a wicked thought popped into my head: masturbating to her bra, imagining myself touching her thighs and her genitals. Oh, and where were her panties? I carefully rummaged through the clothes in the bucket, but found nothing. Instead, I found my classmate's big pair of shorts. Damn, my interest vanished instantly. Just as I was dejectedly about to go back to the computer to play games, a thought struck me: weren't there lots of clothes hanging to dry in the other bedroom? I quickened my pace to check, and sure enough, there was a pair of freshly washed white underwear hanging on the clothes rack. I quickly went over and took the underwear down. It was still damp from washing, and there were some urine stains on the perineum area, a bit yellowish. I couldn't tell if it was feces or urine accumulated over the years; it looked like it had been there for quite some time! Young girls are so clean; they don't wash other clothes, but they wash this one. And young girls don't know how to wash things properly either; something so intimate is practically unwashed. I held the panties in my hand like a precious treasure, waving them in front of my eyes, sniffing them repeatedly. They smelled so good! Even though I knew it was the scent of laundry detergent, I forced myself to imagine it was the smell of her vaginal discharge. At that moment, my penis swelled up with excitement. I couldn't resist anymore. I went back to the bathroom, grabbed her bra, and clutched it tightly. Then I pulled down my pants, pulled her panties over my penis, and used the urine-stained part to cover the head of my penis. I slowly started masturbating, one hand on her bra, imagining grabbing her small, soft breasts, imagining spreading her long, slender white legs and fucking her. Even though we'd only met less than ten minutes ago, every expression she made was now imagined as the blissful state of sex. Soon, a wave of pleasure washed over me, and I ejaculated a lot. It was the first time I'd ever masturbated so intensely, especially using my best friend's woman's most intimate clothing. It felt a little sinful, but I was so satisfied! Sorry, buddy!! Next, I arranged the bras back to their original positions, then took the underwear, which was covered in my semen, and rubbed it in my hands, spreading it evenly. At this point, unless you picked it up, you couldn't tell there was anything on it. Then I hung it back on the clothes hanger, carefully hung it up, and left satisfied to continue my game. I knew in my heart that, given my buddy's slovenly appearance, he wouldn't think about collecting the laundry for the next couple of days. Sure enough, when he picked up his girlfriend on Sunday night, she went to collect the laundry and washed the clothes in the bucket. While collecting the laundry, she was telling my classmate that she probably hadn't washed the underwear properly, because it looked like there was a layer of eggplant or something on it. My classmate replied that it must be because she hadn't washed it properly, and that she should wash it thoroughly before hanging it up next time. I was squatting in the toilet next door taking a dump at the time, and I heard everything clearly. My heart was pounding with fear! After that, every Saturday I went there, following the same schedule to do what I liked to do, but two or three times I returned empty-handed.

While hanging out with my buddy, besides setting my sights on his girlfriend, I also secretly explored the area around his residence for anything new to discover. One afternoon, feeling bored, I went up to the sixth-floor rooftop to smoke and enjoy the view. Suddenly, I noticed an open window on the fifth floor diagonally below. Looking inside, oh! It was the restroom! This was a golden opportunity, and I couldn't let it slip by. Unfortunately, it was daytime, so there wasn't much to see. I stayed there for about ten minutes, nothing interesting, and just as I was about to leave, I saw a woman, around 40 years old, walk in. She wasn't particularly attractive, with short hair and dark skin. Most people from the south have darker skin, especially in this heavily polluted industrial city, where it's hard to find a patch of blue sky and a breath of fresh air. I crouched low, only peeking out, my eyes fixed on her like a sniper eyeing an enemy, observing her every move. She pulled down her pants, and I saw two rough thighs, the flesh somewhat loose, with dark pubic hair in the triangle between her legs. She squatted down, legs spread apart, and a large jet of water gushed out from between them. I was so excited! In all my life, I'd only ever seen little girls peeing on the street; I'd never seen anything like it. I watched her finish, bounce her buttocks, and without even wiping, pull up her pants, flush the toilet, and leave. My heart pounded as I thought, "This old woman is probably still taking a bath here tonight. I'll come back and observe her again." I waited excitedly until 8 pm. By then, most people had just finished dinner and were preparing to take a bath. I saw my buddy engrossed in his game, so I made an excuse to go downstairs for a walk because I was too full. He agreed without even looking at me. I tiptoed to the rooftop, and seeing that no one was around, I pretended to smoke. Noticing the bathroom light across the way was still off, I waited there without staring, thinking nothing would happen for a while. When I crouched down to look again, the light came on, but the curtains were drawn. Through the gap, I could see half a white buttock and waist facing me. My heart pounded. That woman's ass was so white! I wanted to fuck her! My mind kept flashing back to how she peed during the day. She never turned around; all I could see was her buttock and the water running down her skin. But seeing something was better than seeing nothing. I quickly unzipped my pants, masturbating as I watched. Just as my whole body went numb, she turned around. I felt a surge of excitement. Damn, I finally got to it! At that crucial moment, I ejaculated, and at the same time, I saw a man's penis. What? What? What? Why? It was a man?! I was completely disoriented. My penis was still dripping with semen, and I had actually masturbated in front of a man! I really wanted to jump off the sixth floor and die. I was speechless. I grabbed a shirt that was hanging on a rooftop somewhere nearby, wiped it haphazardly on my penis, threw it on the ground, pulled up my pants, and left. I was incredibly unlucky. For the next day and night, I was completely listless.
This incident has haunted me ever since. A month later, summer vacation was approaching. I came up to the rooftop on Friday night, as usual, just wanting to get some fresh air, but I didn't want to look at that annoying window anymore. But I noticed so many clothes hanging there, including women's underwear. I touched them and they were still wet, clearly recently hung out to dry. They must belong to my neighbor, right across from my friend's apartment, because I recognized one of the dresses. The woman wearing it was in her thirties. My friend had told me that the couple living across the street were migrant workers from out of town. I'd seen this woman twice. She was average-looking, not fat, fair-skinned, and had a certain charm. She wasn't particularly sexy, but judging by her bra size, she was probably a 36C. Her panties had lace detailing, which was quite alluring. I had some impure thoughts and was about to grab her and start rubbing her when my phone rang. Damn it, who's ruining the mood? It was my buddy. He wanted me to go out with him to buy something, so I went downstairs. But another thought kept popping into my head. The next morning, my buddy brought his girlfriend home as usual. I was lying on the sofa, ignoring it, but I heard him greeting someone across the hall as he left. Apparently, they were going out at the same time and met. Then I heard a man's voice; they were both gone. At that point, there was absolutely no one else on the fifth floor or the rooftop. I watched them walk away from the window, watching the woman across the hall sway her hips, thinking, "This time, I'm going to shoot my load into your panties!" I turned and ran up to the rooftop, picked up her lace panties. By then, the panties were dry and slick. I took off my pants and put her panties over my penis and started masturbating. I felt incredibly happy while masturbating, as if I were in paradise. I was thinking that she would wear these panties covered in my semen after she showered today, and I was so happy! After finishing a magazine, I didn't bother to clean them up, and there was no way to clean them up anyway. I just hung them up again, thinking that the two of them would probably be out until tonight, and by then, everything on my pants would be dry. Satisfied, I went back to the sofa and went back to sleep. A little while later, maybe ten minutes or so, my buddies came back, along with his girlfriend and the people from the opposite apartment. I vaguely heard them saying that they almost forgot the weather forecast said it would rain today, and they had to hurry back to collect the laundry. Then I remembered that my buddies had taken the sheets and other things to the rooftop to dry yesterday, and they were all back now. A while later, I heard the woman across the hall cursing at her boyfriend in the stairwell. She said some pervert had put this thing on my pants, and then launched into a tirade of vulgar insults that made my heart race. At that moment, I definitely didn't feel any of the smugness some friends have described; I was just terrified! My buddy and his girlfriend went over to comfort him. When they came back in, my buddy's girlfriend said, "Thank goodness I didn't hang my underwear on the rooftop." I was utterly stunned. My buddy told his girlfriend, "Thank goodness I went out with you this morning, and we ran into them right in front of us, otherwise I would definitely be suspected. I don't know which pervert did it." Throughout this whole ordeal, I pretended to be lying there like a dead pig, as if I couldn't hear a thing they were saying. I really admire my buddy; he completely forgot about me. He didn't mention me once until we left. That evening, when my buddy and I went out to dinner, he leaned over and said, "I have to tell you something secretly. This morning… thank goodness my girl…" I pretended not to understand and let it go. Later, no more underwear was hung out to dry upstairs, and my buddy's girlfriend became more wary. Although she never hung things out to dry, she started bringing the clothes home to wash every Saturday morning, saying there were too many thieves and she was afraid of them being stolen. My happy times were over. A year passed, and in my junior year, for some reason, my buddy and his girlfriend broke up after a fight, gave up their rented place, and moved in with another classmate and his girlfriend.

I'm not one to stand being alone, so I wasn't going to give up. I hung out with my buddy, he always invited me wherever he went, and we still keep in touch, going to saunas and stuff together. One weekend during my junior year, I went to my buddy's new place. There were two more people there: one of my classmates and his girlfriend, who was also kind of a classmate of mine, since we went to the same middle school. This woman was a bit of a flirt. She'd just walk around in her nightgown, and even when she sat, she had no manners, always sitting with her legs spread wide. I was tired of seeing her underwear. I think she'd probably been fucked a lot by my classmate; she exuded a seductive aura from head to toe. My old buddy told me that he and his wife often had sex at night, and the woman's moans were louder than thunder. I'd been woken up several times because I couldn't stand it and would often shoot out the window. Eighth floor! Those bullets might kill someone passing by. One night, two of their female classmates came over, making a group of six—three men and three women—including me, my buddy, and the couple! Don't worry, there was no group sex; we're not that depraved. But that night, we were all very happy. We talked late and drank a lot of alcohol—baijiu. The four of them downed over two jin (about 1 catties) of Kongfu liquor. I don't drink baijiu, so I only had a little. In the end, we were all drunk. And what did we do when we were drunk? Everyone was obviously looking for a place to sleep. Before bed, we took turns showering. The two female classmates even brought clothes to change into, clearly prepared to sleep there. But there weren't enough rooms, so I suggested I sleep in the living room while everyone else went back to their rooms. The two girls slept in the guest room, which was very basic—just a single bed, and that was it. They slept wherever they usually slept. I was the last to shower. They all went back to their rooms, sound asleep because they'd drunk too much. I went to the bathroom, and damn, it was a mess. Clothes weren't even wet; they were just thrown around. I muttered under my breath as I took clothes from the sink and put them in the bucket. Suddenly, my eyes lit up. Three bras, three pairs of panties—perfect for killing this boring night. I picked up a pair of panties, whose owner I didn't know, and sniffed them intensely. Hmm, unwashed, all the smells were inside, a pungent, fishy stench of urine. I stepped on another pair; it was wet with urine, so I put it on my penis. Just like that, I raped all three pairs of panties, then used one to wipe my penis, and another to wipe my anus. After showering, I went back to the living room and lay down on the sofa to sleep. In the middle of the night, I vaguely heard sounds of people having sex. I sat up abruptly. Yes, the legendary thunderous moaning was right here. I went to the balcony connected to the living room, listening to the sounds of sex, my hand constantly gripping my swollen penis, trying to peek out without seeing anything inside the room—it was a little difficult. A sudden inspiration struck me. I went back to the bathroom, took down the small mirror hanging on the wall—the kind that's 30 x 25 cm—and reflected it against the window. Damn, everything was crystal clear. The 8th floor is great, the top floor. We don't need to close the window or draw the curtains when we're having sex; nobody can see us anyway. I clearly saw my classmate on top of his girlfriend, thrusting hard and relentlessly. Her legs were kicking wildly, very sexy. My classmate was pressing down on her breasts as he thrust. I was genuinely worried he'd pierce her vagina. After a while, my classmate sat up and shoved his penis into her mouth. She sucked on it with relish, almost as if she wanted to devour it. Finally, my classmate ejaculated all over her face. After watching, my heart was racing. I wished I were the one on top of her; the long night was so lonely! Reluctantly, I hung the mirror back up and went back to the sofa to sleep, but my mind remained unsettled. A while later, the girl from the other room came out, probably also woken up by the earlier commotion. She went to the bathroom, and I could still hear her urinating while lying on the sofa, which was driving me crazy. After she finished, she came to the sofa to pour water. I squinted and vaguely saw her back to me, her butt sticking out as she poured the water. Because the coffee table was low and I was lying down, I could clearly see that she was wearing sexy panties. I pressed my head down hard, and for a moment, from behind, I could see her drooping breasts. From this angle, they were absolutely lethal. I really wanted to grab them and fuck them hard, but in the end, reason prevailed over lust, and I didn't do anything. I raised my head and made a little noise, which startled the girl. She turned around and asked me, "Aren't you asleep?" I said I was sleeping. She said, "Sorry to have disturbed you. I got up to get some water because I was thirsty." Actually, I was even thirstier than her and really wanted to drink her water. Then she hurriedly went back to her room.

I happily spent my junior year of college. Later, I realized that as long as it wasn't too outrageous, regularly going to the homes of couples would eventually lead to unexpected gains. I continued this practice throughout my senior year. But I always remembered the saying, "Everyone has different psychological quirks. If you don't know what abnormal behavior is, you're likely to fall into danger." I knew that constantly imagining sex while looking at underwear would eventually become abnormal, but sometimes people just can't save themselves. Finally, I experienced the beauty of sex during a serious sexual encounter and broke free from my previous strange behavior. It happened during the second semester of my senior year when I went back to pick up my graduation certificate. The location was still my classmate's place, and the person was another girl from that night. It started when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night to steal underwear to masturbate. Just after I finished, she discovered me while she was urinating. Her underwear was covered in semen. She asked me why I did that, and I was speechless, like a child who had made a mistake, not knowing what to do. She pulled me into the guest room, took my hand and pressed it against her breast, telling me she liked me the first time she saw me. Then a lot of didactic things came out of her mouth. Since I was still a virgin at the time, and she was the one who directed the act, she ruthlessly took my first time that night. I changed my identity, from boy to man. I won't go into the details, and I certainly won't describe my feelings—you know what I mean! What is the definition of tragedy? Here, tragedy is like putting a 0.5mm pencil lead into a 0.7mm pencil tube—it's so uncomfortable, so loose!! She was practically a den of iniquity!!

I left this girl somewhat dejectedly, carrying my weightless graduation certificate back to my hometown. Many girls developed relationships because I liked them a little, or because I liked them, including that travel buddy from before.

(The End)

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Recalling the things I "secretly" did

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