Winter Snow Memoirs 521

page views:1 Publication date:2023-05-08 08:16:07

Volume 5, The Beginning of Depravity, Chapter 21, A Shameless Performance.
After he left, I thought back to his words, feeling angry yet strangely expectant. I struggled to get up to take a shower, but the sweat and bodily fluids on my body made me feel ashamed. Looking down, I saw my breasts, which throbbed with pain. I saw several handprints, and on my right nipple, there were teeth marks—
perhaps from Pengpeng or Uncle Han. As soon as I sat up, my buttocks burned. Turning to the side, I saw several bloody handprints interspersed among my fair skin. Thinking of this, I felt angry again. My father had never hit me like this since I was a child. Why should I be bullied like this by an old man who had bullied me in front of a child?
Then I sat down and felt a chill. I was afraid. Thinking she'd been beaten and was bleeding, she reached down and touched her buttocks, rubbing them before raising her hand to look. It was a transparent, white substance, slippery like paste. Suddenly, she realized what it was, shook her hand vigorously, wiped it clean with a tissue, and lifted her buttocks away from that area. As soon as she sat down, a wave of intense heat and itching washed over her, almost causing her to fall to the ground.
Just as she regained her composure, another wave of intense itching spread throughout her body. She was now absolutely certain she was sick. How could it be so serious? She had been craving it all afternoon, desperately trying to satisfy herself so many times, but it still didn't work. Then she had abandoned all dignity, opened the door, and let him humiliate and torment her. Even so, after experiencing so many orgasms, why was her body still like a bottomless pit, still craving it like a madman?
What was wrong with her? Was she a wanton woman at heart? Thinking about it, another intense heat surged through her. She was becoming somewhat delirious, unable to concentrate, and obsessed with the feeling of him riding her, his brutality, and his scalding fluid. A sudden chill ran through me. That's it! I had to get rid of what he left inside me. I couldn't do this; getting pregnant would be terrible. I didn't want to have this pervert's child.
Taking advantage of a rare moment of clarity, I dug my fingers inside, trying to get rid of them. The instant I pulled my fingers out, I don't know if it was the pleasure from touching my vagina or the visual impact, but I almost ejaculated uncontrollably. I closed my eyes, waiting for it to come,
but suddenly it stopped. I felt a wave of disappointment, but my mind started to wander again. I stared blankly at the white semen mixed with my bodily fluids on my fingers. I remembered the intoxicating smell on my underwear, and realized this was its source. Trembling, I brought my hand to my nose. My heart raced. I lowered my head and tried to smell it. A fishy smell, not very pleasant. I wanted to take it away. But seeing the white substance swirling around my fingers, I couldn't resist tasting it.
I'd seen girls in movies enjoying eating it, and then I remembered the textbook called it sperm, which goes to the uterus. It's strange that it's in my stomach. I tried to remove my fingers, but my lower body trembled violently; another orgasm seemed imminent. I tried to bring my fingers closer, and the orgasm intensified. I took a deep sniff; the smell wasn't pleasant, but it brought me to my peak. I started convulsing uncontrollably, feeling the exquisite pleasure of the orgasm.
I intoxicatedly licked it with my tongue; it tasted salty, but not too bad. I couldn't resist licking it again; it was still salty with a slightly fishy taste. A strange feeling suddenly arose within me, following my orgasm. I thought about his life... Thinking of his violent beatings and scoldings, a surge of excitement welled up inside me. I could almost see him telling me he obeyed his orders. Without hesitation, I opened my mouth and shoved my semen-covered finger into it,
sucking on it passionately, as if afraid to miss a drop. I licked and savored the entire finger until the salty taste disappeared. Then, I couldn't resist reaching for my vagina, but the previous orgasm had washed away the semen. Frustrated, I dug several times without success. I searched intently, and suddenly noticed a large patch of semen on the sheet.
I scraped it up with my finger and licked it, as if it were a life-saving elixir. I loved the feeling, I loved the taste. Afraid of wasting it, I bent down and sniffed it for a while, then stuck out my tongue and licked the semen off the sheet. This posture… The position reminded me of his favorite position. As I licked the sheets, I unconsciously raised my buttocks high, as if anticipating that person's forceful entry into me from behind again. But I was so disappointed.
My body was already burning hot and my desire was unfulfilled. I couldn't bear it anymore and frantically rubbed my thighs against the corner of the bed. I felt like I was dying of pain. Just then, there was a knock on the door, followed by the words, "Open the door."
My face flushed red, and I ran to the door without wearing any clothes. I opened the door and stood there, not thinking about what would happen if there was someone else outside. I just wanted him to come in and satisfy me as soon as possible. He opened the door and stood there. Then, a boy who looked like an elementary school student from another room behind him came out of the room with a soccer ball. He saw me staring blankly, but he quickly went into the room, closed the door, and said to me, "You're getting more and more slutty now. Going out without clothes on?"
I couldn't hear his mockery; I just wanted him to fill me up quickly. I followed him weakly, watching him sit on the edge of the bed looking at me. Shamelessly, I sat down next to him and lay down, waiting for his teasing. I desperately needed someone to ravage me, but he didn't move. He said to me, "What are you doing? Do you want me to fuck you?"
I didn't speak, just waited for him. He asked me again, dissatisfied, "If you don't answer, I won't move." I couldn't help but reach out and grab his arm. He looked at me and still didn't move, instead saying, "I've been serving you these past few times. Shouldn't you serve me back?" I didn't understand what he meant by "serving." Did he mean torturing me like that every time? I shook my head, feeling confused and impatient. He kept looking at me. I was so upset and frustrated that I grabbed his hand again,
but he didn't move. I thought, "Serving...serving..." But what did "serving" mean? Suddenly, something occurred to me. Looking at his eyes, I reached out and hugged my legs, raising them so I could assume the position he used on me for the first time. I looked at him with a satisfied expression, anticipating his satisfaction, anticipating his reward. He seemed excited but still didn't move. I looked at him anxiously. He begged me to tell him.
Seeing my anxious look, he said, "You little slut, you've drained me dry. How can I satisfy you?" Seeing I didn't understand, he added, "Your little pussy has taken it all. Now my dick is too tired and wants to rest. I'm not in the mood." I felt his vulgar words were meant to humiliate me, but my body felt like it didn't belong to me. I only wanted a man to touch me and satisfy me.
I blankly lowered my legs and looked at him helplessly. Seeing me like this, he said again, "You have to work hard to stimulate him and please him, otherwise it won't work." I looked down at his shorts and unconsciously opened my mouth and said, "Please, please!" He chuckled, stood up, and took off his shorts. I thought he was going to come inside, so I quickly pulled my legs up again
, raising my buttocks to wait for him. But he just took off his shorts, then flicked his penis a couple of times and said to me, "See? You won't get it unless you stimulate it. Just act horny like that day, and maybe it'll get hard." He looked up at me, and I turned my head away in shame, closing my eyes, but still keeping my legs spread apart. Seeing that I wasn't cooperating, he said loudly, "Then I won't care anymore. I have to take my grandson to the park later." I was so afraid he would leave, so I forcefully controlled my vagina, contracting and opening it several times.
He reached over and put his hand inside, which quickly tightened. I was somewhat satisfied and wanted to tighten it even more, but he took his fingers away and said to me, "This is just a reward. If you want more, you have to work harder." Feeling the satisfaction of that moment, I couldn't care less about anything else. I lowered my legs, reached between them with one hand and started exploring, while the other hand pinched and rubbed my nipples. He turned the sofa chair around, seemingly interested, and sat down, watching me.
I felt his gaze and continued. Suddenly, he said, "If you touch me like that, I can't see anything." Helplessly, I lowered my body, getting closer to him. He said, "Don't block it with your hand, and continue your performance." I slid my hand from my breast to the side and used a few fingers to stimulate my areola and nipple, deliberately spreading my fingers apart so he could see my fingers pinching and squeezing my tender nipples. Then I raised one leg and placed it on the computer desk, wanting to raise the other leg but finding nowhere to put it. He reached out and grabbed my foot, playing with it in his hand. I felt a ticklish yet exciting sensation from his large hands stimulating the spaces between my toes and the soles of my feet.
I no longer cared about showing him my entire vulva. Originally, I covered it with one hand and inserted one finger, but now, to please him, I lifted the other four fingers and used only one to probe and rub. I felt so humiliated by this position that I almost cried, yet a strange pleasure surged within me, and my hands moved faster. I tried to look up to see if he was erect,
but after several attempts, I still couldn't see. He seemed to know, taking my feet down and placing them between his legs. Following the soles of my feet, I felt his large, hot penis trembling slightly, though not very hard. I fawned over him, rubbing myself even harder. Suddenly, he lowered my legs from the computer desk, placing both feet between his.
He gripped my legs, holding his penis between them, and began thrusting. I stood there, somewhat dazed, thinking… "What kind of game is this? Aren't your feet dirty?" he asked. "You still need to work harder," he said. Hearing his words, I diligently began to perform for him again. He enjoyed playing with my feet, suddenly lifting one and putting it in his mouth. He stuck out his tongue and licked my toes. I excitedly looked up, and he watched as I opened my mouth and put all five toes in, sucking on them. This stimulation was no less intense than nipple
stimulation; I was so excited I couldn't help but moan. He suddenly said to me, "Can you be this obedient from now on?" I didn't quite understand what he meant. Without waiting for my response, he said, "Hold your legs and wait." I excitedly lifted my feet, which he had released, and held them, waiting for him. I saw him guide his already somewhat erect penis towards my vagina, trying a few times, then saying, "I can't find where to insert it, tell me." I shyly looked down at his penis, which was randomly pressing against my thigh. I knew he was doing it on purpose. But I didn't want to cooperate with him; I
just swayed my hips to let him find the entrance. Twice, I was already at the entrance, and I looked at him expectantly, but he deliberately raised his hips, saying it was too slippery and he couldn't find it. I couldn't stand his stimulation any longer and anxiously begged him to come in. He still teased me like that. I anxiously raised myself up and grabbed his penis with my hand. This was the first time I had ever touched that thing. It was so hard, so soft, so bouncy, so hot, so comfortable. He looked at me with some pleasure, wanting me to continue stimulating him with my hand, but I anxiously pinched his penis against my entrance and then lowered it. I looked up at him, and he looked at me as he slowly moved forward. I let go and felt that feeling of fullness. I felt the thick penis, with its sharp edges, squeezing into my vagina. My vagina, which had been waiting for this for so long, greedily sucked on this thing. My
clitoris was already red and swollen. The flesh walls inside my vagina and The tiny buds clung tightly to his penis, but they were too fragile. The small buds tried to hold onto the thick penis, and he thrust in and out of me with a kind of arousal. Each powerful impact sent shivers down my spine. Suddenly, he slowed down. I looked up at him anxiously. He said he was out of energy and needed to rest. He pulled out his penis and lay back on the bed. I got up anxiously to look at him. He was lying there panting. I hoped he would rest soon,
but I saw his penis, which had gone from erect to slowly shrinking. Panicked, I couldn't help but reach out and grab it, afraid it would shrink further. He hissed with pleasure. Although I unconsciously held his penis, it was only to prevent it from shrinking. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to let go, but I was afraid it would shrink back. If I didn't let go, I didn't know what to do either. He reached out and grabbed my hand holding his penis, then guided me to... He kept moving me up and down, and after several attempts, he let go of me. I continued to imitate him, stroking him up and down for a
while. He told me to hurry up, to be faster, so I sped up a little more. But he wasn't satisfied and grabbed my hand, stroking it at a terrifying speed. Suddenly, he stopped, looked at me, and laughed. Then he said, "Lick it with your mouth." Even though I was in the throes of desire, I couldn't do something so degrading.
I refused. He said, "Try it. It feels good for me. You'll feel good if I feel good." I still ignored him. He then sat up, pulled me up, and pressed my head between his legs. I struggled, but he was so strong. I smelled that fishy, pungent odor, but it wasn't as strong as the first time in the bathroom. I dodged
his penis, which touched my cheek and neck several times. He kept pressing me down and making me smell it. The smell was intoxicating, reminding me of the smell of underwear and the way I'd secretly eaten the semen on the sheets. I couldn't resist taking a deep sniff. I looked at the glistening glans, noticing two holes from which flowed a fluid similar to mine. Thinking of trying it, I stuck out my tongue to lick it
when the phone rang. He impatiently picked it up and said he'd be there in five minutes. I looked up at him fearfully, not wanting him to leave. But he patted my cheek and said, "You did very well today. Go lie down on the edge of the bed." Like I'd won a grand prize, I quickly rolled over and went to the edge, raising my buttocks as high as possible.
He got off the bed, stood on the edge with one foot, and slid his penis into me. My aroused body was satisfied again. He was probably in a hurry; this time, his thrusts were more intense than ever before. I had never experienced such force and speed before. I couldn't hold back my climax for long, my body about to slip onto the bed. He stood up, holding my waist to prevent me from falling, and thrust violently again. I had no strength left to move, letting the storm pound against my tender little hole.
Then he suddenly pulled out his penis, ejaculating wave after wave onto my buttocks. He released my waist, and I slid onto the bed like a puppet, another wave of orgasm washing over me. In a short time, he had brought me to orgasm twice. I was so excited I almost cried. This feeling of satisfaction was amazing. I orgasmed about six or seven times that day. I knew tomorrow would be a painful day, because when I played by myself three times before, my whole body would ache the next day, and my little hole would be red and swollen in protest.
He got up, put on his clothes, and before leaving, he came over and kneaded my breasts for a while. Yes, then I opened the door and went out. I could only lie here, reliving the climax of the day, and then I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was already past nine o'clock at night. I lay on the bed thinking, my mind was much clearer
now. What exactly did I do when I was lost in desire? Was that still me? Was it a dream or reality? Why did I become like that? Thinking about it gave me a splitting headache. I got up to drink some water. I picked up the water glass and was about to drink when I saw that the water in the glass was a light green color, and there was some sediment at the bottom of the glass. I suddenly thought of a novel I had read before
. This must be an aphrodisiac. I thought that it described fainting or having no memory. Why am I like this? As I thought, I thought of the inexplicable palpitations and heat that started in the afternoon. I drank this glass of water later, but I had been craving it before. Why was that? Suddenly I thought of that bowl of chicken soup. Did the landlady also participate? But I can't let my husband go find young girls, that's not right either. But besides that, I couldn't have become so promiscuous for no reason.
I was a little scared, so I quickly packed my things and went back to
my dorm that night. After returning to my dorm, I thought about the crazy afternoon and realized it might be a side effect of the aphrodisiac. Everything was clear now, and my mind was much clearer. I remembered everything from beginning to end. I tried to concentrate on making myself angry and hateful, but my body was still the same as before. Whenever I thought about what happened that afternoon, I would smile sweetly, as if I wanted to go back to that dream,
even if it was a nightmare. I was also reminiscing about the intense pleasure I felt under the stimulation of that drug, listening to his scolding and humiliation. My brain feels aversion and resistance, yet my body completely submits to him, experiencing a strong sense of conquest. The word "conquest"
reminds me of that afternoon when he so fiercely took my virginity, leaving me nonchalantly as if my body was his. Now, after this near-severe torment, do I feel more hatred or affection for him? This is a question that shouldn't require much thought,
but at this moment, I feel lost and helpless. I'm afraid to think about the future, afraid to face Cheng-ge, and afraid to go home. I'm no longer that innocent girl. Lying in bed, lost in thought, I slowly drifted off to sleep. In my dream, I was back home, making dumplings with my parents.
Then, after graduation, I helped Cheng Ge decorate our new home. Then I dreamt I was heavily pregnant, waiting for Cheng Ge at home, excitedly anticipating our baby. Cheng Ge came home, talked to me, and cooked me delicious food. We lived happily ever after. When I got home from work, I saw Cheng Ge with his back to me, playing with our son. I smiled and said, "Honey, I'm home!"
Then Cheng Ge turned around, and I was horrified to find it wasn't Cheng Ge, but Grandpa Han. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came out. Grandpa Han, holding the baby, walked towards me and said, "Quickly feed our son, he's crying from hunger!" I couldn't believe it and pushed him away loudly, then turned to run away, but my legs felt like they were bound; I couldn't escape.
I cried out in fear, then suddenly woke up to find it was already daylight. I felt my pillow was wet, soaked with my tears. This dream, so beautiful, had become so terrifying. My heart ached terribly. Suddenly, I remembered something—the baby he was holding. I sat up abruptly, remembering how he had ejaculated inside me yesterday. I frantically tried to go to the bathroom to clean it up,
but a long time had passed. I was so terrified I was almost paralyzed with fear. I thought about how to make amends. What would I do if I was pregnant? Would my parents abandon me? Would Cheng-ge despise me? I thought about taking birth control pills, but I was too embarrassed to go to the pharmacy. I nervously washed up and went to class, but my mind was completely consumed by this terrible thought. What if I was pregnant? How could I buy birth control pills? I felt so helpless.
Night fell, and I lay in bed struggling. Finally, I mustered the courage to go to the pharmacy, but I was too scared to go near the school. I wore a small hat and took the bus to a pharmacy far from the school. I walked past that pharmacy many times that night, but there were always people inside. I didn't dare go in. Finally, when no one was around, I went in, pulled my hat down low
, and whispered that I wanted to buy birth control pills. The old lady seemed to be staring at me, so I didn't dare look up. She sighed and handed them to me. As I paid and was about to leave, she said to me, "Don't take this medicine too often, it's bad for your health and will mess up your periods. Tell your boyfriend to bring condoms
." I blushed, said thank you, and quickly ran out. When I got home, I took the pills according to the instructions and felt much more at ease. Before I knew it, summer vacation had started. I didn't go back to that rented apartment for the past few days and went straight back to my hometown. Seeing my parents calmed my anxiety. Cheng Ge was back too. I thought about him, but I was also afraid to face him. After all, my body had already betrayed him. When we met, we talked about all sorts of topics and experiences, describing the beautiful scenery of our respective cities.
Several times, when we passed by hotels or his house, he intentionally or unintentionally hinted at something, but I was afraid that he would find out I wasn't clean and would despise me. I always pretended to be stupid and avoided him. He didn't make things difficult for me, though. Every time he saw me run away, he would whisper that I was a little vixen, but he would wait until I was willing. Hearing his words, I felt like I was being pricked by needles. Should I continue to lie to him like this? Cheng-ge is so good to me, should I keep lying to him for two years and
make him wait for me, only to give him my dirty body two years later? I felt so regretful and heartbroken. I lay on the bed sobbing, thinking that I couldn't lie to him like this. He's so good to me, if I continue to lie to him, am I even human? I decided to tell him tomorrow, but I just couldn't bring myself to say it. Should I tell him I have a new boyfriend, or that I was bullied by an old man? My head was spinning.
The next day we went hiking. The cool breeze was blowing in the mountains, and the lush spring scenery made me incredibly happy. Walking on the cement steps, I suddenly wanted to walk barefoot. I took off my shoes and walked barefoot on the steps. Cheng-ge held my shoes for me and held my hand from behind. Like he was afraid I'd fall, I wanted to tell him several times that if there were nice girls at school, I should be with them, and he wouldn't be angry.
But the words wouldn't come out. People are selfish. Having such a good person who's so devoted to you, and yet you push him away—I believe many people couldn't do that. At the mountaintop, we shouted together, rang the bell together, and tied a love knot together. On the way back, Cheng chose a restaurant near his home. I knew what Cheng meant; he wanted me. Watching him remove the fish bones from my bones,
I didn't care about anything else. I'd give him everything he wanted, even if he found out I wasn't the pure, innocent girl he was, even if he scolded me for being shameless, or left me. I didn't care. I couldn't keep lying to him like this. Even if we broke up, I would still give myself to him. I even thought about how even if my parents scolded me, I would be willing to have a baby for him.
He smiled at me. After we finished eating, we walked down the street, and he took me to the bus stop. At the bus stop, he hesitated, wanting to invite me to his house. We'd been neighbors since childhood, only separating after our house was demolished. Our parents knew each other very well. At the bus stop, I saw his face flushed, as if he wanted to speak but hesitated. My heart softened, and I asked him, "Is Aunt Liu home? I haven't seen her in so long."
He excitedly looked up at me and said, "My mom went to play mahjong and won't be back until tonight." He drew out the "wonder." I knew Uncle Zhong was a truck driver, rarely home, so I didn't ask. Then I whispered, "I'd like to look at some books in your field." He excitedly said, "Great! Great!" and pulled me to his house. We went inside, closed the door, and saw no one was home. I stood at the door, looking up at him. He was already panting as he approached me and hugged me tightly. He lowered his head and kissed my forehead, then my eyes. When he reached my lips, I passionately reached out and hugged him back, kissing him deeply. Gradually, his hands slid down my clothes and onto my chest. Feeling his erection beneath me, I clung to him, slightly dazed, and whispered in his ear, "Shall we go to the bedroom?"
He released me and led me into his room. We began kissing passionately again. Several times he tried to take off my clothes, and I fearfully resisted. But with each more intense kiss, I knew nothing else mattered. I belonged to Cheng-ge. I closed my eyes, thinking that Cheng-ge would leave me if he discovered my infidelity, and tears streamed down my face.
Cheng-ge, somewhat frightened, asked what was wrong. He thought I was crying out of fear and comforted me, saying, "Don't cry, Dongxue. I won't hurt you. Don't worry." Seeing him like that, I felt so sorry for him. Thinking this, I reached up and took off my t-shirt, revealing a light green bra. He trembled slightly as he reached out and touched my softness. He tried several times to unbutton it from behind, but failed each time.
I reached out and unbuttoned it, letting him knead my breasts, then lowered my head... He licked and nibbled greedily, and I held his head, feeling a little intoxicated. I felt my lower body getting wet. Cheng Ge reached his hand inside my skirt, wanting to touch it. I flinched in fear, but then gave up. I sat down on the bed, waiting for him.
Suddenly, the door opened, followed by a loud shout, "Xiao Cheng, help Dad move things!" I hurriedly got up and dressed. After finally getting ready, I opened the door with Cheng Ge and went out. I greeted Uncle Zhong, who seemed to notice my strange behavior and his son. He said somewhat awkwardly, "I'm in Tianjin doing deliveries.
I just happened to be home to visit." I blushed, exchanged a few polite words, and said goodbye before going home. I was so embarrassed that I didn't dare to look people in the eye the whole way. When I was little, my parents weren't home, and I always played with Cheng Ge and ate at his house. Aunt Liu and Uncle Zhong were very kind to me. They often bought me treats when I was little and watched me grow up. But now, this embarrassing situation has been discovered. I feel so helpless.

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Winter Snow Memoirs 521

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