Cuckolding is a state of being, and those who don't understand it naturally don't know the pleasure it brings.

page views:1 Publication date:2024-03-30waw

My Wife Has 100 Lovers – A Real Case Sharing:
A-Jing Says
the Screenwriters of Life Are Often More Imaginative – Cuckoldry.

“My wife cheated on me… but I’m actually happy…”

“I know I’m perverted, I just love it when my wife has sex with other men!”

“I discussed with my wife about letting her find a lover, but she refused. How can I get her to agree?”

As a psychological counselor, I have accumulated over 2500 hours of case work. This might not seem like much to some very experienced counselors, but it’s enough for me to be unfazed by most of my clients’ problems.

Being a psychotherapist is perhaps one of the few professions that doesn't feel boring, because there are always clients whose experiences will make your heart clench, and there are always people whose experiences can break through your own experience and trigger deeper reflection...

Once, I received a client (hereinafter referred to as Mr. A) for psychotherapy. He had a very pleasant baritone voice. After a very polite greeting, he seemed a little hesitant and spent a long time building up his story before slowly beginning to speak...

Mr. A and his wife had been living apart for decades due to work, and he rarely came home. His wife was very virtuous and managed the household very well.

About twenty years ago, he first discovered that his wife was having an affair. Mr. A was in pain and struggled, but later he found that his wife was still as devoted to the family as ever. Thinking about the hardships his wife had endured while he was away all year, he decided not to confront her.

Years later, by chance, the two confronted each other about the affair. The husband expressed understanding, and the wife was deeply moved…

If this were merely a domestic drama, the screenwriter might cater to the psychological needs of most viewers, staging a prodigal son's return, a happy ending for everyone.

However, the screenwriters of life are often more imaginative.

During this conversation, the wife, moved, revealed the total number of her lovers—a staggering figure—and even detailed some of their rendezvous, giving Mr. A a thrill he had never experienced before.

Thus, the husband's understanding evolved into encouragement, and then into anticipation.

Later, Mr. A began to indirectly participate, discussing the details with his wife afterward and rehearsing, eventually developing even more outrageous ideas and plans…

Mr. A is now conflicted; he feels this is too perverse, but both he and his wife are very satisfied and enjoy it, so he has little motivation to change.

Later, I received several more similar cases:

some involved men actively encouraging their wives to cheat and creating favorable conditions for it;

others impersonated other men on WeChat accounts to seduce their wives, indulging in fantasies and pleasure;

some even considered hiring someone to seduce their wives, intending to record the videos as a keepsake for future reference.

However, we find that these behaviors largely violate the fundamental principle of "mate exclusivity" in humans and even other biological species.

In the animal kingdom, for example, the most important task for male animals throughout their lives is to compete for territory and mating rights. To ensure the continuation of their genes as much as possible, they engage in various battles, even at the cost of serious injury or death.

As higher animals, many of men's thoughts and behaviors are analogous to those of male animals. Their attitudes towards career and lovers are similar to those of male animals regarding territory and mating rights.

For most men, conquering the woman they love and protecting their partner are both animalistic instincts and a basic sense of dignity within their social role.

In the eyes of the public, other types of victims can gain sympathy, but only those who are cuckolded are despised by many men. You can see this by looking at the comments from netizens after Jia Nailiang was cheated on. So, "fear of being cuckolded" is probably the deepest fear in a man's heart.

Throughout history, both in China and abroad, countless examples exist of men risking everything for the sake of a beautiful woman.

Wu Sangui, seeking revenge for the abduction of Chen Yuanyuan, led the Qing army into China, rewriting Chinese history.

During the Trojan War, two tribes waged a ten-year war over Helen, resulting in hundreds of thousands of deaths.

Even more tragically, the renowned Russian poet Pushkin, to avenge the shame of being cuckolded, challenged his wife's lover, Dantes, to a brutal duel where the two fought only ten paces apart, shooting until one fell. Ultimately, the legendary poet Pushkin died at the young age of 38, leaving behind a tragic legacy.

This raises the question: why do such inhumane acts occur?

While I haven't found an official definition for this behavior in psychiatry and psychology (I would be very grateful if colleagues could provide relevant literature and sources), it has a commonly accepted name online: cuckoldry.

Let's emphasize this: cuckoldry, also known as wife-worshiping disorder, refers to men who desire or even encourage their wives to commit adultery.

This group has the following characteristics:

1. Family situation: The families are generally well-off, and the marital relationship is also good.

2. Personal situation: Among the characteristics of this group, there is no correlation with education level. Wives are often quite attractive, and husbands are generally very loving towards their wives.

3. Husband's mentality (a, b, c):

a. Show-off mentality:

Usually, the wife is beautiful and sexy, and the husband uses this to show off what he has, thereby gaining a sense of superiority.

For example, Russian billionaire Sergei Rodionov liked to show off his wife's nude photos and published a collection of erotic nude photos of her. As a result, his wife became the object of fantasies for men all over the world. For Sergei, however, he felt very proud, making himself the object of envy and jealousy for men all over the world, and he enjoyed it.

b. Sadomasochistic mentality:

This type of husband is often not very confident, but he loves his wife madly. He always feels that he is not good enough for his wife and that his wife is being wronged by him, but he absolutely cannot bear the consequences of losing his wife. Therefore, in order for his wife to be happier, he chooses to share the wife's happiness.

This approach consistently chooses to stand by the wife, strengthening their psychological bond. Furthermore, the more lovers the wife has, the better, because more lovers make it harder to focus on the extramarital affair, effectively reducing the pressure of divorce.

c. Abnormal Sexual Behavior.

These men often have voyeurism or sexual psychological disorders. Some experience this as children due to the intense stimulation of witnessing adult sexual activity, while others are influenced by pornographic literature and audiovisual materials during crucial developmental periods, leading to abnormal behavior.

From a social perspective, this behavior is indeed somewhat abnormal, but it is not included in the diagnostic criteria for psychology and mental illness. This is because it poses a low risk to society, and the individual's level of distress is not high. Therefore,

"cuckoldry" can only be considered a problem that is not a psychological issue.

This behavior may not be accepted by mainstream society, but because the individual generally does not intend to destroy the other party's family, the harm to society is low. Furthermore, the individual has a high level of satisfaction with their marriage, and although they may occasionally feel ashamed, it is not too painful, so there is little motivation to change.

Even so, couples with this preference should pay attention to reproductive health. If it's purely for marital enjoyment, it's perfectly acceptable, but they should try to avoid affecting the harmony of other families, as this could cause significant distress to all parties involved.

Finally, I wish all families happiness, harmony, and fulfillment!

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Cuckolding is a state of being, and those who don't understand it naturally don't know the pleasure it brings.

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