Youthful Memories

page views:1 Publication date:2023-04-05 09:27:26

Adolescent Memories (Part 1): The Development of Breasts For most boys, a girl's breasts are probably the easiest place to attract their attention. The full, soft flesh and rounded lines always immediately evoke thoughts of sex. However, for girls, breasts are also definitely a key part of the body. Most girls, when they first look at another girl, will look at her face first, and then her breasts. I remember my breasts starting to develop around fifth grade. At first, I didn't pay much attention to my breasts growing. It was only by chance that one time when I went swimming with classmates, I saw that everyone had developed breasts on their chests while changing clothes. Looking down, I realized that mine had started to grow too. I wasn't a precocious girl; my breasts were only slightly protruding at the time, but my nipples were noticeably larger than before, like two small beans. The first time I consciously touched my nipples, I wondered when they had become so big. Some girls in my class developed better; although they were the same age as us, they already had breasts like adults. Since our school uniform is predominantly blue, it's not very noticeable when wearing the skirt on ordinary days. However, it's a disaster during PE class. Wearing white tracksuits, the lines of the girls' breasts are practically laid bare, especially during activities like running and vaulting. The way the larger-breasted girls' breasts sway is quite exaggerated. Fortunately, we're just entering puberty, so the classmates don't have any overly lewd thoughts. I remember once during a sports meet, I overheard some boys whispering and staring at the girls' breasts. That's when I realized we weren't children anymore. As someone who didn't develop early, I didn't worry about my breasts during that time. But after one PE class, a classmate I was fairly close to told me, "Your nipples are so obvious." Looking down, I saw two small, bean-like nipples protruding from the flat tracksuit. Although they weren't visible through the fabric, their shape was very clear. Because of the need to save money on clothing, and the fact that PE classes only happen two days a week, most students don't buy new clothes every year, usually wearing the same clothes for one or two years before replacing them. However, during puberty, the body changes rapidly, leading to some clothes becoming ill-fitting. A closer look at other female classmates reveals that everyone is showing off their nipples; some, especially those who sweat a lot, even have two small, coin-like shadows showing after exercise. I imagine any girl with a penchant for cute girls would be thrilled. For girls still in elementary school, having well-developed breasts is definitely not something they want, as standing out often makes them the target of ridicule. There was a girl with large breasts who was teased by boys as "big-breasted," and she was so ashamed that she hid in the bathroom and cried. She even walked with her back hunched down to make her breasts appear smaller. At the time, I was glad my breasts weren't large. (Of course, in middle school, this relief turned into complaint.) Since breasts are getting bigger, why not wear a bra? Boys, you might not know this, but no elementary school student wants to wear a bra. It's like announcing to everyone, "I'm different from you," giving you a feeling of being categorized as an outsider. Besides, after four or five years at the same school, most classmates grow up together. If you suddenly find yourself wearing a bra, it only attracts more strange looks. So, everyone would rather have their nipples visible than wear a bra. For younger girls, being seen wearing a bra is even more embarrassing than having their nipples seen. I vividly remember a neighbor, a boy three years older than me. We'd known each other since childhood and were close. He often tutored me after school. One time, while I was studying, I noticed him staring intently at my chest. It turned out that my shirt had a low neckline, and I was leaning over, so my nipples were completely visible through the gap. I wondered, "What are you looking at?" He'd already seen me naked before when he took me to the pool; what else could he be looking at? So, I deliberately changed my position. But he kept staring, and I finally couldn't help but ask, "Are you peeking at me?" He didn't answer, just smiled awkwardly. I blushed instantly, realizing for the first time how embarrassing it was to have my nipples seen. At the same time, I also felt like I had become an attractive girl to the opposite sex, and I was happy for a while. This is my first memory of paying attention to breasts. (II) Growing Hair I have no memory of when my first pubic hair grew, or perhaps I simply don't know when it grew. One day in sixth grade, the teacher suddenly announced a separate health class for boys and girls. Later I learned that it was about the changes of puberty. The boys explained penile erection, and the girls learned about menstruation and breasts, among other physiological knowledge. After class, the boys asked us what we had learned with great interest, and naturally, not a single girl could answer such a question. The first time I learned that pubic hair grew was a rather unique experience. Before that, I had never seen an adult naked, so it was hard to imagine how hair could grow there on such a flat surface. At the time, a silly girl in my class asked the teacher if pubic hair only grew on girls, which made the whole class burst into laughter, although I didn't really know at the time either. After class, a close female classmate told me that she had known all along that pubic hair would grow when she grew up because her father had bought her pornographic magazines. This made me feel quite lost for a while, as if I was the only one who didn't know anything. Later, my classmate jokingly asked me if I had any hair yet, and I answered of course not. But when I took a shower that night, I discovered that my once smooth genitals were covered with a thin layer of soft hair, clearly different from body hair. It turned out I hadn't even realized it was growing. I was quite a naive girl. Unlike boys, girls don't get too excited when they grow pubic hair, and it's certainly not as exciting as the feeling of developing breasts or menstruation. It just happens without warning; one day while showering, you suddenly notice a dark patch there, as if it's grown a lot overnight (laughs). When I entered secondary school, my breasts were still small, but my pubic hair had grown incredibly thick (not that much compared to now, but it seemed like a lot at that young age), which looked very out of place and caused me a lot of distress. The most unforgettable experience was when a swimming pool was built at the community center near my house, and I went swimming with my mother. It was my first time swimming with her (before that, I always swam at school). But when it came time to change into my swimsuit, just as I was about to take off my underwear, I realized I was exposing my most embarrassing feature—my pubic hair—to my mother. I hesitated for a long time. Even though she was my mother and we were both women, it was still very uncomfortable to show that dark hair to someone for the first time. Fortunately, my mother noticed my predicament and generously undressed herself first, letting me know that I was no different from other girls. After I changed into my swimsuit, she smiled and said that her daughter had grown up and that she would take me to a department store to buy a bra. Although I was well aware that my breast size was far from suitable for wearing a bra, I was still very grateful for my mother's concern. After this experience, I became less afraid to show my pubic hair in front of others (of course, only to other girls). After class, I often went swimming with classmates at the public pool. When changing into our swimsuits, we would all look at each other's bodies to see if we were normal. Of course, no one had the courage to talk about other people's pubic hair, nor would we say who had more or less hair. The whole process was just casual, and everything was understood without words. In the changing room, you could see all kinds of different shapes of pubic hair, some were inverted triangles, some were round, and some were so sparse that they looked like there were only a few strands. Anyway, after seeing it so many times, it didn't seem like a big deal anymore. The first time I saw male pubic hair was on the beach with two female classmates. A man with a thick coat of hair approached us. Perhaps he was showing off, but his swim trunks were so short they barely covered his genitals, and curly hair cascaded from his chest down to his trunks. The three of us girls debated whether it was belly hair or pubic hair, and ultimately concluded that he was an exhibitionist who liked to show off his pubic hair (laughs). Most girls probably see a man's pubic hair along with his penis the first time they see it, right? Thinking about it, mine was quite a unique experience. For women, pubic hair doesn't really serve much purpose other than reducing skin friction during sex. But for men, this tuft of hair can be more exciting than directly seeing a woman's breasts and genitals. A friend once told me that the sales of a female celebrity's photobook can differ by several times depending on whether it shows pubic hair or not. In my second year of secondary school, I had my first relationship with a boy in my class. Shortly after we started dating, he asked me to touch his breasts. I refused, so he asked me to show him my pubic hair instead. In a fit of anger, I told him I would show it to him the next day. The very next day, I gave him a curly pubic hair, and that was the end of our relationship. That's how my first love ended. (III) Menarche My first period came during the summer vacation of my first year of secondary school. Because the health class in sixth grade taught basic physiological knowledge about menstruation, and many classmates had periods during the semester…My period had started, so I was mentally prepared for it. Unlike girls in ancient times who would panic at the sight of blood, I was actually quite calm. The first time was very light, and I didn't feel any discomfort. However, when I woke up in the morning, I noticed a little red blood on my underwear. I immediately took out my secret treasure box from the drawer, which contained sanitary napkins given out in my sixth-grade health class. I carefully placed them on my underwear, but for some reason, I didn't bleed at all for the next two days. I had wasted my 'treasure' that I had been saving for half a year. Was this my period? Or was it just the prelude? In any case, my first period made me feel quite good, even a little excited. On the one hand, I didn't experience the discomfort that my classmates mentioned, and on the other hand, I had just entered middle school, and it felt like I had grown from a little girl into an adult. That day, I even sneaked into my mother's room, put on bright red lipstick, and looked in the mirror. I looked like a graceful young girl! However, the situation completely changed the following month. My second period was excruciating, and the flow was very heavy. It was shortly after the start of the school year, and I spent all day sitting in my seat with terrible abdominal pain. My genitals felt constantly wet, but when I checked in the toilet, there was no bleeding. That feeling of anxiety and uncertainty made me regret being a girl. The worst part was that even though I was in excruciating pain, I had to pretend to be calm in front of my male classmates. I've always been afraid of people knowing I was menstruating; it felt like something dirty. Both are secondary sexual characteristics during puberty, so why do boys experience pleasurable ejaculation while girls suffer from painful menstruation? I think God must be a man. The thought of enduring this suffering every month for the next thirty years... I just wanted to die. Because I'm a rather shy person, I was too embarrassed to tell my mother when I had my period, and she never asked. Embarrassed, I didn't know how to buy sanitary products, so I secretly used my mother's when no one was home. About two or three months later, my mother found out. She didn't say anything, but one time when she took me to the supermarket, she casually picked up a pack of sanitary napkins and said, "Xiaoying, do you usually use these?" I blushed and nodded. Then she put the pack of sanitary napkins in the shopping cart and didn't mention anything else. After that, she would buy me a pack every time we went to the supermarket, and this continued until I left home. When I was 18, I entered the workforce for the first time, working part-time as a sales clerk during summer vacation. Perhaps due to the sudden change in my lifestyle, coupled with the physical labor of moving goods around, my period suddenly stopped that month. Since my periods were usually regular, and I had also had sex with my boyfriend during that time, I was really afraid of being pregnant. I even went to the pharmacy alone to buy a pregnancy test, constantly cursing my boyfriend who often refused to wear condoms. Fortunately, half a month later, my beloved friend, whom I both loved and hated, finally arrived. It was the longest I'd ever had a delayed period. I've been dealing with menstruation for 12 years, but I still haven't gotten used to it. Recently, in addition to abdominal pain, I've also had headaches. Sigh, why make things so hard for women? But thinking that all of this is for the sake of welcoming my future baby, I guess I'll just have to bear it. After saying all this, I think boys still won't understand at all, right? Okay, okay, I don't want to waste any more words. Anyway, for you guys, menstruation is just a time when you can't have sex! (IV) The Boy's Penis The first time I saw a boy's penis was in the second semester of my second year of middle school. My chest started growing, my pubic hair and menstruation started, and I even experienced my first love (although it ended badly). But at that time, I was still quite innocent. I only wanted a boyfriend to have a companion and never wanted to do anything unfaithful. However, one day when biology class taught about male and female genitalia, I was shocked to realize that I had never actually seen a boy's penis before. (Okay, okay, I admit I'm a slow learner.) After entering middle school, through constant exposure, I believe my sex education has improved dramatically. I'm no longer a clueless little girl; I know what sex is, and that boys get erections, but I've never actually seen one. There's only an older brother in my family, no younger brother, so I've never had the chance to see one. Nowadays, just typing "penis" into the internet will give you thousands of results, but ten years ago, when personal computers weren't common, it wasn't easy for a young girl to see a boy's penis. Textbooks would show a naked boy, but no close-ups of genitals, and certainly no pictures of erections. So, for girls, the male penis became a taboo subject. We could only imagine its appearance. Of course, the more we couldn't see it, the more interested we became, wanting to witness the allure of this organ we didn't have. At the time, I had an urge to ask other female classmates if they had seen it, but I just couldn't bring myself to say it. First, I was afraid of being seen as perverted; second, even if I asked, what if everyone's answer was, "Of course we've seen it, it's a very common thing~"? What would I do then? I was already a teenager and yet I seemed to have no experience; this feeling of being left behind was truly terrifying. (You might find this annoying, right? Early breast development is a source of distress, not having seen it is also a source of distress—that's just how girls are, just bear with it.) From then on, wanting to see what boys' private parts were like became a constant thought in my head. Of course, looking back now, it was probably just pure curiosity to avoid losing to others, and had nothing to do with sex, right? Later, I thought that boys all liked to watch porn, so I secretly went into my brother's room to search, but unfortunately, I found nothing. Why is it that only my brother doesn't watch this kind of thing? Or is his collection just too good? However, as curious as I was, I never considered asking any boy I knew to show me his penis (probably no girl would, right?). Anyway, if I hadn't seen it before, I hadn't seen it before. It was just a matter of time, I suppose. I'm not ugly, and I never believed I'd be a virgin forever. But as they say, what's meant to happen will happen, and if God wants you to see it, you can't escape it (laughs). In an unexpected situation, I finally saw a boy's penis for the first time, and it was a male classmate. It was Tuesday during recess. Since the previous period was PE, most students changed back into their school uniforms during recess, and I was with a few girls in the girls' restroom getting ready. Just as we were about to go back to the classroom, I suddenly saw a boy wearing glasses being lifted up by three other students and forcibly dragged in, pinning him to the ground in a spread-eagle position. I think this is an experience many of us have had, right? In school, there are always some classmates who like to bully others, and this guy named Qiang was a prime example. "Don't you know this is the women's restroom?" one of the female classmates scolded angrily when she saw them daring to barge into the women's restroom. But A-Qiang grinned and said to us, "I know, we're here to show you some good stuff." "Good stuff?" "Execute him!" Before we could understand what A-Qiang meant, he had already given the order to his two subordinates who were holding down the male classmate's calves. Without a word, the two men reached out and pulled down the male classmate's pants. Since the sweatpants had elastic waistbands, they were relatively easy to loosen. With a strong pull, the entire pair of pants, including the underwear, were pulled down to his calves, and a soft object was nakedly exposed in front of us young girls. "Wow!" We naturally covered our faces and screamed, but the image of the male classmate's white little brother was already deeply imprinted in our minds. In our memory, it looked like a small sausage, not long, but quite thick. Of course, the first time I saw it, I didn't know how to distinguish between the foreskin and the glans. I only remembered that there was a wrinkled pouch underneath. What surprised me most was the lack of pubic hair. Since my pubic hair was already quite thick at the time, I was quite surprised by this, thinking that boys' pubic hair was always sparse. "Haha, look, Anan's got a hard penis in front of the girls!" After completely pulling down his sweatpants, the guy named Qiang pointed at the boy whose pants had been pulled down and laughed. Hearing this, we couldn't help but open our eyes to look. Wow, how come the little brother that was soft just a minute ago suddenly became so hard, and it was also much longer than before. The tip was pinkish-red, like a hard popsicle, standing upright between his legs. So this is what it looks like when a boy gets hard. Perhaps none of us understood embarrassment, but several of us girls unconsciously stared at that spot. After succeeding, A-Qiang and his men released A-Nan, laughing as they ran back to the classroom, leaving the boy sobbing, covering his genitals. "A-Nan, don't cry..." Because the scene was so awkward, it took a while before one of the girls picked up the sweatpants from the ground and handed them to the still-crying boy. Seeing his pitiful state, we dared not laugh. Ugh~ We're the victims, why are we comforting him? (Do you think you're the beneficiaries? Watch your words!)He must have done something to offend Ah-Qiang, but this was really going too far. Later, when the news reached the class, the other students kept asking what we had seen—you know, that thing, and what else… In the end, the three bullies inevitably received major demerits, but that was commonplace for them. After all, expulsion from government schools was rare, so nobody was afraid. As for that boy, every time I saw him afterward, I would remember that white…little brother. And occasionally, when chatting with those girls, we would joke about it, even comparing lengths, because no matter how many biology classes were full of theory, it couldn't compare to seeing it in person. Looking back now, it was actually quite cute ︿︿

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