Fang Ye's Scars

page views:1 Publication date:2023-04-14 08:13:57

Time slips away like water through my fingers. For a long time, whenever I closed my eyes, I heard Zhao Na's soft call. Though her voice was barely audible, it struck me like a thunderbolt.

Unlike her usual affectionate and playful calls of "little darling" or "little lover," her call carried the deepest sincerity, piercing through the heavy constraints of my heart, bringing her tears and love into this world, only to reach my ears.

I began searching for information about Zhao Na's relationship with my father. Much later, by chance, I found a graduation photo of my father and his students in an album. The girl standing behind him—a girl with a youthful, radiant, and sunny smile—was Zhao Na.

There was something strange in the photo: behind my father was a row of boys, but Zhao Na stood very abruptly, or rather, with a forceful attitude, in the middle of the boys, behind my father.

Like a delicate flower blooming in the wind, knowing full well the distance between herself and the person before her, she still tries her best to get closer, spreading her fragrance around him.

I once doubted my father, but that doubt quickly dissipated. Because he was a traditional Chinese man, a gentleman who, despite his handsome and refined appearance, was honest and upright. Closing my eyes, I can imagine how the passionate Zhao Na clashed violently with my icy father; she must have left her school life with a wounded heart.

One day, a friend my father hadn't seen for many years came to visit. Upon seeing me, he couldn't help but loudly praise how much I resembled my father, especially my eyes—they were practically identical… I couldn't hear what he said after that, because I remembered Zhao Na's kisses. She had kissed my eyes countless times, her movements careful yet filled with a religious sanctity and fervor. I also remembered the words she always made me say before our "game"—"I beg you—Nana—I love you—please give it to me—" What was her expression then? Her eyes flickered with a mixture of sadness and happiness, disappointment and satisfaction, like diamonds on velvet, radiating a fiery light. I suddenly realized—this very phrase might have been Zhao Na's desperate plea back then, yet she could only find its response in me.

My heart began to ache sharply and clearly…

Duan Ming exhaled a puff of smoke, unusually quiet as he listened to my slow, heartfelt words. He stubbed out his cigarette, shook off the ash, and stood up. "And then?" I was taken aback. "And then?" I pondered for a moment, then looked up with a smile. "Then I realized I didn't want to be like my father, who would satisfy any girl who loved him. I didn't want to hurt those crystal-clear hearts." Duan Ming coughed up blood. "Damn it! When I'm picking up girls, you say it's like my penis is directing my brain, but you, picking up girls, are supposed to be carrying a sacred historical mission?" He spun around dejectedly, then suddenly grabbed my hand. "Fang Ye—I'm so moved! Your story is so poignant. You're not like me; you refuse to hurt girls' hearts. You're truly great, selfless, pure, and..." Then came the torrent of words.

But I knew that whenever Duan Ming acted strangely, it meant he was about to come up with something wicked. Sure enough, the next afternoon, Dong Yan stopped me in front of everyone. Her obese body was horribly constricted by a set of ladylike clothes. My face turned pale, and my stomach churned. She gave me a resentful glance, and her words made my teeth chatter: "Ye~ I'm a girl too, maybe not so beautiful and charming..." Seriously, lady, you're lucky you're not scary, charming?

"But I also have a pure, crystal-clear heart that loves you!" Her burning gaze was fixed on me, like a light bulb on velvet. I was drenched in cold sweat, almost collapsing.

Dong Yan suddenly pounced on me like a bear: "I beg you—Ye Ye—I love you—please give it to me—" I finally let out a heart-wrenching scream: "Duan Ming—you'll remember this—" and ran away as fast as I could!

"Ye Ye~~ Look at my heart~ Wait a minute~ Don't run~ You can't escape~ You little brat~ You're still running~ I've been practicing long-distance running all winter break~ I don't believe I can't catch you~" That frantic chase, filled with screams, shocked the entire campus. Countless girls who were head over heels for Fang Ye were astonished to see their idol in such a disheveled state. The boys' cheers and laughter echoed throughout the campus.

The lecherous headmaster, unaware of what was happening, ran out. He stretched out his arms in front of me: "Stop, why are you running!" I shoved him around: "Help! Don't block my way!" As soon as he turned around, he was met by Dong Yan's massive, menacing figure: "Ah--Those who block my way die!!!" After he got up from the ground, his eyes filled with stars, he was heartbroken to find a huge dinosaur-like footprint on his newly bought Goldlion suit—he couldn't do anything to Dong Yan; the main teaching building of the school was an investment by Dong's father.

Sometimes I have to admit that Dong Yan was brave, because she dared to shout out her love, even daring to pursue me so openly on campus. Even though this way of courting was almost like rape. If I had shown half her courage to pursue my angel, what would have happened?

Sister Xiao Ruo—the girl who always liked to wear white—came vividly back into my mind.

I still remember that stormy night, the dark clouds in the sky constantly being torn apart by huge lightning bolts, one after another thunderclap seemingly ringing in my ears. That day, the whole city was on alert. My father didn't come home from work; he was at school calming the students, while my mother was out performing with a troupe. I was alone at home, cold, hungry, and scared, huddled under the covers, shivering like a little mouse. At that time,

our house was still a single-story building, on the north side of a large, square courtyard. Xiao Ruo lived on the east side, and Duan Ming lived on the west side. Most of the adults in the courtyard had gone to the dike for flood control, and the whole courtyard was dimly lit, appearing deathly silent in the torrential rain. Around 7 p.m., the wind picked up dramatically, and rain slanted in through the windows, making the room as cold as an icebox. Shivering,

I struggled to pull the window shut, just about to bolt it, when a deafening clap of thunder exploded in the yard. I screamed, falling from the chair to the ground. The gale violently ripped the window open, slamming it against the wall with a piercing crash—a sharp, shrill sound mingled with the wind and rain, quickly fading into the darkness.

The panic, pain, and biting cold made my fragile nerves break down, and I cried helplessly. Just then, there was a knock at the door, and a soft voice pierced the wind and rain, like a spring breeze reaching my ears: "Xiao Ye—open the door—are you alright—" It was Sister Xiao Ru! A surge of strength welled up within me; I immediately scrambled to my feet, brushed the dust off my clothes, and, wiping away my tears, ran to open the door.

The door opened, and a fierce wind and torrential rain lashed my face like whips, yet I was no longer afraid.

For I saw an angel standing before me, gazing at me with boundless tenderness. She held an umbrella, but it was of little use in the rain, as half her body was soaked through.

She was like a lily, swaying in the storm. Her face, pale and translucent from the cold, seemed to radiate a holy light. "Come, come to my house," she said, extending a hand, her fingers long and slender, snow-white.

In the storm, I clung tightly to her, my white dress drenched and clinging to her smooth, delicate skin. My arms were around her waist, my head resting on her shoulder. Her warmth emanated from her soft, supple skin, comforting me. A delicate fragrance filled my nostrils. In

that instant, though the wind and rain raged around us, with incessant thunder and lightning, I felt an indescribable peace and joy. I wished I could stay close to her forever, unconcerned by even the fiercest storm.

So engrossed in the moment, I didn't notice the large hole beneath my feet. By the time I stepped into the void and she tried to pull me up, it was too late, and I tumbled into the water with a splash. Sister Xiaoru cried out and hurriedly pulled me up, perhaps using too much force, pulling me into her arms.

My lips touched her breasts—those already subtly rising, smooth as milk and soft as mutton fat. She was breathing heavily; the accident had clearly startled her, while my mind was blank, only feeling her pounding heart and the slight trembling of her skin.

She came to her senses and gently nudged me: "Are you alright? Let's go inside." The Fengs weren't home either. I learned they'd gone to the embankment. She led me into her room, a small space filled with the warmth of spring.

"Take off your wet clothes quickly, don't get cold!" she said, drying my wet hair with a large towel.

I obediently took off my clothes, and she, with her slender fingers, gently wiped my naked body with the towel. "Take off your underwear too, look how soaked you are." My face flushed, I mumbled an agreement, but refused to move.

She paused for a moment, then laughed happily, "Hehe, little rascal, are you shy? Okay, you can dry yourself off. I'll turn on the hot water for you so you can take a bath." She led me into the bathroom, turned on the hot water, and said, "Okay, you can wash now." Suddenly, a mischievous expression flashed across her face: "Do you want me to wash you?" I was taken aback, looking at her closely. Her eyes were curved, her eyelashes were long and curled, and her small mouth was as red as a freshly picked water chestnut. A faint smile playedfully hung at the slightly upturned corners of her mouth.

My heart fluttered, and the words "Okay!" almost burst out. But she couldn't help but laugh, "Hehe, why is your face so red? I was just kidding. Okay. Go wash now." Saying that, she closed the door.

I was stunned for a moment, then couldn't help but chuckle to myself. It's unreasonable for someone my age to still need to bathe me. I turned on the water, rinsed off, and then realized that I hadn't brought any change of clothes. There wasn't a large towel in the bathroom to cover myself, and I felt incredibly embarrassed. I hesitated under the running hot water, afraid to go out.

After a while, there was a soft knock on the bathroom door: "Xiao Ye? Why have you been taking so long?" I was as anxious as an ant on a hot pan, but I had to answer softly, "I...I didn't bring any dry clothes..." A chuckle came from outside the door. She thought for a moment and said softly, "Open the door." I trembled as I opened the door a crack, covering my private parts with my hands and tightly clamping my legs together. Sister Xiao Ru, wrapped in a towel, was standing outside the door. She was also preparing to take a shower. Her long, smooth, black hair was tied up in a bun, revealing her graceful neck. Her shoulders were smooth and somewhat slender, and her developing breasts were as white as snow, rising and falling slightly under the towel.

I didn't dare to look too closely and hurriedly lowered my head. What I saw was a pair of long, straight legs, and delicate feet that looked like they were sculpted from snow. I felt the change in her body and pressed my hand down tightly, my eyes looking away.

She seemed a little shy, slipping into the bathroom and saying to me, "Go out first. Wait for me outside." I hurriedly ran out the door, the bathroom door closed, followed by the rustling of clothes. The door creaked open, and a flawless, jade-like arm emerged from the narrow crack, handing me a bath towel: "Put this on quickly, then go get my pajamas and give them to me." The towel carried her faint, youthful scent, and the thought of how intimately it had just clung to her soft skin, her slightly rounded breasts, and… an indescribable feeling flowed through me, making my blood boil. It felt as if I were wrapped not in a bath towel, but in spring itself.

I took her pajamas and handed them to her through the crack in the door. She said, "Okay, go to my bed." Suddenly, my heart raced, and my throat went dry. I licked my lips with my tongue before cautiously asking, "And... what about you? Are you sleeping in your bed too?" Her answer was quick and natural: "Of course. You're so young, my bed is that big." That night, lightning flashed and thunder roared outside, and a torrential downpour raged. Inside, however, a warm fragrance filled the air, like a fairyland. Sister Xiaoru lay beside me, telling me stories and jokes. We were covered with two blankets, and although there was almost no skin-to-skin contact, I was already intoxicated by her fragrance.

After a long while, I softly called out, "Sister Xiaoru..." She was almost fast asleep, letting out a soft hum through her nose, her beautiful eyes, still closed with eyelashes, remained shut. Listening to my own heartbeat, I said, word by word, "When I grow up, I'll marry you. Okay?" She smiled slightly and mumbled, "You little rascal...don't talk nonsense..." I panicked, "I'm not talking nonsense! I really will marry you when I grow up!" She surrendered, "Okay...okay...wait until you grow up...go to sleep..." In the boundless darkness, beside me, I heard her steady, long breaths. I opened my bright eyes, looking at her serene face like moonlight, at her long, flowing hair, my heart filled with an inexplicable sense of happiness. I was excited and dreaming in this happiness until the deep night slowly pressed down on my eyelids, and I sank into that beautiful dream.

That year, I was 19, and she was 22. "The boy rode a bamboo horse, playing with green plums around the bed..." But the day I woke up was completely unexpected... Senior year of high school, weekend.

I was nervously reviewing for the high school entrance exam. The door was kicked open like a whirlwind; it was Duan Ming.

"Fang Ye! If you still consider me a friend, come with me!" His eyes were bloodshot, and veins bulged on his forehead.

I was startled: "What's wrong? Calm down!"

"Damn it! Someone's bullying Xiao Ruo! Are you coming or not!" He almost jumped up. My heart pounded: "Where?! Which bastard is it!" Duan Ming's angry voice was tinged with tears: "It's her boyfriend! Damn it! Bring your knife, I'll take you there!" Boyfriend? Those three words almost cleaved me in two. Xiao Ruo, the angel I saw every day, more familiar with than my own family, suddenly felt a strong sense of distance from me. Someone had stolen her from me!

This person was my mortal enemy!

Filled with intense jealousy and murderous intent, I saw Xiao Ruo and that man in the distance. Duan Ming shouted:

"Xiao Ruo!" Xiao Ruo turned around and saw us: "Xiao Ming, stop! Don't come any closer! Don't move!" Duan Ming stopped and grabbed me. I panicked: "What's wrong! Go over there!" He said in a muffled voice,

"Xiao Ruo won't let us go, so we'll wait here." Looking into his eyes, a strange feeling suddenly gripped my heart. I dared not imagine it, but the intense feeling kept reminding me, making my mind a mess.

Xiao Ruo seemed to be talking intensely with that boy, who kept pointing at Duan Ming. Duan Ming listened intently, but couldn't make out anything. He paced back and forth anxiously, completely lost. I looked at him, then at Xiao Ruo, repeatedly telling myself: No, no, they haven't gone that far... After a while, the boy beckoned, "Come here!" Before I could react, Duan Ming strode over. I hurriedly followed, but Duan Ming stopped: "Fang Ye, wait for me here!" He turned and continued walking without looking back.

A surge of anger—being deceived, isolated, and abandoned—overwhelmed me. I trembled, staring intently at the three of them.

Duan Ming had only said two words when the fuse was lit like a spark.

Like an enraged cheetah, Duan Ming charged at the boy's fist. I ran forward. "Fuck you!" A fist slammed into my face, my head buzzed, and I went berserk… Blood dripped into the dust. Xiao Ru stood quietly, the three men fighting for her standing on either side, panting heavily. The boy's eyes were swollen, his nose broken, but it couldn't hide his tall, handsome figure. He wiped the blood from his mouth and grinned almost menacingly: "Feng Xiao Ru. Quite a few pretty boys have their eyes on you! Heh." He suddenly roared at Duan Ming and me, "You're all fucking idiots! I've already fucked this woman! I deflowered her, almost made her die of pleasure! Haha, I'm almost sick of her, you can go eat the leftovers!" Blood almost spurted from my eyes, my hand gripping the knife handle. Xiao Ru remained silent, gritting her teeth, and swung her hand, trying to slap him. The beast was prepared and grabbed him, saying, "Want to hit me? You bitch..." Duan Ming pounced on him, yelling, "I'll fuck your mother!" and slammed him to the ground. He wasn't nearly as strong as he is now, so he was subdued in just one round. Just as the man was about to become arrogant, he felt a chilling sensation in his carotid artery.

I coldly held the knife to his neck, my heart filled with murderous intent. Duan Ming scrambled to his feet and kicked him hard. The man clutched his stomach in pain, but a vicious smile still lingered on his lips: "You cowards! How can you love Feng Xiaoruo?" Duan Ming was about to strike again when Xiaoruo stopped him: "Let him go...did you hear me? Let him go!!!

"

The setting sun was like blood, and the man left in a huff. Duan Ming and I stood stunned behind Xiaoruo. A gust of wind blew by, making her back appear so frail and thin. Her shoulders trembled, and her arms were crossed. Duan Ming took off his coat and draped it over her shoulders. She trembled slightly and turned around. I saw her tearful eyes, a desolate sorrow that could kill me a thousand times over.

She stared at Duan Ming, and Duan Ming stared back at her. Suddenly, she slapped Duan Ming hard across the face. That slap felt like it struck my heart, making that childhood dream tremble. Duan Ming didn't flinch, opening his arms to hug her tightly. Xiao Ru finally buried her face in his shoulder and cried out… Suddenly, I felt a sweet taste in my throat. Was it blood? I didn't know. As if in a dream, I staggered away from them and returned home. I felt I was sick.

Sure enough, I had a high fever for three days straight. In my daze, I smelled the hospital, as if many people had visited me: Duan Ming, Xiao Ru, my teachers, my classmates… In my delirium, I repeatedly entered that stormy night, entered that sweet and innocent dream. But the angel's wings were broken, and the dream shattered.

Unexpectedly, the first person I saw when I opened my eyes was Jia Wen.

Her eyes were red and swollen, as if she had just been crying. Seeing me open my eyes and look at her in surprise, her eyes shone with ecstatic joy. For a moment, our eyes met, and the ward was quiet; neither of us spoke.

I groaned, "What happened to you? Your eyes are as red as a rabbit's!" She jumped in fright, flustered, "Really? Really? Oh, you're still sick, get some rest!

I...I...I'm leaving...bye..." She really did run away like a startled rabbit, almost bumping into the nurse who was just coming in.

The pretty nurse was very talkative. While giving me the injection, she smiled and said, "You're finally awake. You've worried your girlfriend half to death!" "Girlfriend?" I immediately thought of Xiao Ruo. "Where is she? Has she come to see me?" "This person! Didn't she just leave?" "You mean Jia Wen?" "How would I know her name? She's the girl I almost bumped into just as I was leaving." I shook my head. "She's just my classmate, not my girlfriend." The nurse laughed, "Don't be shy! You kids these days..." "You're all so precocious, do you think I don't know? Your girlfriend cares about you a lot, she comes to see you every day, folds lucky stars and origami cranes for you, afraid you won't make it through the night, and repeatedly asks the head doctor to personally examine you. Kid, you're quite the ladies' man, don't let her down." She took a few steps with the medicine tray, then turned back to look at me, chuckling, "But you're quite handsome too, if I were younger, I'd definitely have you wrapped around my little finger!" I was already quite adept at being teased by a young woman, and just smiled slightly. Turning my head, I saw two large glass jars, one filled with lucky stars, the other filled with origami cranes.

Jia Wen...

Word count: 12966

[The End]

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