20 Tips to Make Sex More Environmentally Friendly

page views:1 Publication date:2023-04-19 08:14:38

The current emphasis on building a conservation-oriented society is indeed beneficial to our society in the long run. So let's put this slogan into practice and make our sex life more conservation-oriented as well.
1. Having sex in the dark
For most couples, intimacy at night far exceeds that during the day. But, control yourself—don't turn on the light! Be mindful of conserving electricity. A way to compensate is to make the most of natural conditions: if it's dark and windy, stop; if it's bright and starry, come on! Alternatively, having sex in the morning is another way to make up for it; the body in the morning light is natural and beautiful.
2. Discard petroleum-based lubricants.
Many lubricants sold on the market are byproducts of petroleum refining. Experts suggest using cream, jelly, or similar alternatives—they are environmentally friendly, add spice, and satisfy the appetite.
3. Do not use oysters.
There are many foods believed to have aphrodisiac properties, and oysters are a well-known example. Raw oysters with lemon juice and baked oysters with cheese are often considered "Viagra" in men's diets. However, eating fewer oysters is actually a way to protect the ocean.
4. The legendary Mandarin Duck Bath
Even Martians know that Earth's water resources are finite. But in the sweltering summer, showering before bed has become an integral part of intimacy. You shower, she showers, every hair is washed until it's shiny and beautiful, and the wasted water resources have already caused environmentalists great distress. So they appeal: for the sake of the Earth, please take a bath together. If you can seize the opportunity and have a double bath in the rain, you will also receive a "Water-Loving Model" red flower awarded by the Earth Residents' Committee.
5. Neither refuse nor promise.
Even environmentalists would say only a fool would refuse intimacy with a woman. But don't let her sway you in bed; learn from James Bond, who stays clear-headed at all times. That means don't rashly promise a diamond or a mink coat while having sex. Don't let a woman's materialism cause you to be abandoned by environmental warriors.
6. Double room with single bed
A pillow, a blanket, and a narrow single bed. Since couples never feel their bed is too small, why not give it a try? This trick works best in winter and can save the planet a lot of energy.
7. The Fate of Condoms
Is your trash can overflowing with condoms? Remember, some condoms are biodegradable, while others are not. Try to reuse them as often as possible; perhaps you can wash and dry them before reusing them.
8. Towels instead of paper towels
Paper towels are the biggest victims after every sexual encounter; they're used without any regard for consequences. Think about it—some trees are destined to clean up the mess after you've had your fun. Please use a towel instead. Keep a towel by your bed and make it a new habit.
9. Sexual fantasies and the 69 position
Sexual fantasies are a truly smokeless industry, with no contact between sexual organs and no wasted energy. If that alone isn't enough to satisfy you, then the 69 position is the most environmentally friendly sex position, requiring neither a condom nor a towel afterward.
10. The best cosmetics
Men can finally have a say in the cosmetics industry! Semen is a high-protein substance, and more and more people believe it has beauty benefits. A man's body is undoubtedly the most environmentally friendly source of cosmetics.
11. Lingerie, out.
Generally, two people in bed don't wear clothes. Using skin friction instead of fabric wear and tear is certainly environmentally friendly. But if you use sexy lingerie, that's a different story. So, let's just meet naked.
12. A match made in heaven
The invention of the bed has wasted an immense amount of wood. And if you get too engrossed in sex, you might even break the bed, like Stephen Chow did. This wastes even more wood. Therefore, banning beds and promoting outdoor activities is part of the environmental movement. However, the following points should be noted: do not use chemical pesticides when having sex in gardens or parks; encourage "hanging upside down" and "standing" positions, and avoid damaging wildflowers and plants.
13. Inflatable doll
The current standard price for an inflatable doll overseas is $795. Of course, this refers to high-quality dolls with a feel similar to real skin, resembling a real woman in every aspect. Custom-made dolls, however, cost around $3,000. The key issue isn't the price, but rather its environmental unfriendliness. Think about it: how environmentally friendly can a doll made of PVC really be?
14. The Era of Cold Weapons
Men's attitudes towards body hair are fickle. They like women with long, dark hair, yet they have a deep-seated shaving obsession with women's private parts. If you absolutely must do this, put down your electric razor; hand-held weapons are always more environmentally friendly, and Zhang Xiaoquan scissors are far superior to Philips razors.
15. Car enthusiasts' nonsense
Some men are fascinated by the swaying of a car during sex, especially when they reach orgasm. Eventually, they even drive out of town just for sex. Don't listen to their nonsense; cars are something environmentalists vehemently oppose. If you're going to choose a car, you'd better go back to bed.
16. Cold spring spa
It's said that having sex in a waterfall provides an extraordinary pleasure. Similarly, you can have a cold spring spa at home – simply put, it's two people taking a cold shower together. It's both environmentally friendly and cool.
17. Roses should stay on the branch.
A rose is a rose. Please don't use it to line your bed or bathtub. Enjoy a peaceful bath with your partner. Disrespecting a plant's life is already environmentally unfriendly. If you really want one, plant one yourself.
18. Noise pollution
Making a woman moan loudly is your ability, but if you make her moan too loudly, it becomes noise pollution. Environmentalists don't advocate excessive moaning; moderate, sweet, and noise-free moaning is also environmentally friendly.
19. Super Telescope
The ultimate goal of environmental protection is to reduce individual consumption of environmental resources, and reducing energy consumption is the source of environmental action. Since every sexual encounter results in a massive calorie expenditure, let's leave only one couple in the world having sex, while the remaining 4.999999 billion people can each hold a super telescope and spy on each other's sexual activity, forming a long dragon of telescopes on Earth.
20. Make love, not war.
Environmental Law: Any form of sex that is not environmentally friendly is better than the damage that the most environmentally friendly war does to the planet.

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20 Tips to Make Sex More Environmentally Friendly

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