The hard drive was to blame.

page views:1 Publication date:2023-04-25 08:13:37

That night, I don't know how much I drank, or how I left. The next morning, while I was still in a daze, I felt a burning pain in my lower body, as if something had torn me apart. I also realized I wasn't wearing anything! I woke up with a start, instinctively grabbing the blanket and sitting up, clutching my chest. There, I saw Mr. Zhu lying naked beside me, fast asleep! The floor was a mess—our coats, underwear, used tissues…

I immediately understood what had happened! I never imagined that Mr. Zhu, who always seemed so respectable, was actually a hypocrite, spouting platitudes while harboring a heart full of depravity! All my previous respect and gratitude for him vanished. I felt immense heartache and despair, followed by a frenzied urge to tear him to shreds! I screamed and cried, frantically lunging at him, tearing and biting.

Mr. Zhu woke up, wrapped me in the blanket, and kept saying, "Calm down! Calm down! If outsiders find out, it won't be good for either of us!" He held me tightly, making it impossible for me to move. Despair and helplessness made me bite my lip until it bled, tears streaming down my face and blood trickling down my neck.

I was stunned by his last words, "If this gets out, it won't be good for either of us!" If people found out, how could I face anyone? How could I face my family and friends?

Teacher Zhu seemed to sense my thoughts. Seeing that I wasn't struggling anymore, he released me, then knelt down and slapped himself hard across the face, saying it was all his fault. He said he had drunk too much last night and mistook me for his wife, begging for my forgiveness!

Then, with snot and tears streaming down his face, he talked about how hard it was for him to achieve what he had, how hard it was for him to build his family, and how if this got out, everything would be ruined! He also said that I had such a good reputation at school, and if this got out, it would affect me for the rest of my life! He hoped that I would consider our past relationship and settle this privately!

I was already a sobbing mess. He pulled out a sheet and draped it over me, who was at a loss for what to do. I ran off the bed to pick up my phone from the floor. Seeing this, he lunged at my phone like a madman, then knelt down in front of me with a thud, threateningly saying, "If you call the police, I'll die right here in front of you!" He then tried to slam his head against the wall. I sat down on the ground in despair. He immediately came over, coaxing and cajoling me, saying he'd do anything if I was willing to settle things privately! He promised me an outstanding graduate award and an excellent thesis…

To protect my reputation, I compromised and accepted his conditions…

After that, we never saw each other again until graduation, and I never finished my thesis. The day before my defense, he had a classmate bring back the revised thesis for me to take to the defense…

At the graduation defense, I received that humiliating "excellent" award, and my file now includes the humiliating title of "Outstanding University Graduate." Just like that, my nightmarish university life ended…

At this point, I was beyond angry and shocked—how could there be such a heartless scoundrel in the ranks of university teachers? Such scum should be purged from the teaching profession; he doesn't deserve the title of "People's Teacher"! But, wasn't I just the pot calling the kettle black? Did I not intend to take advantage of someone's misfortune? I feel utterly ashamed of my despicable shamelessness…

I must admit, my filthy soul has been shaken like never before. At the same time, I feel pathetic for people who generalize from superficial phenomena to substantive issues, their metaphysical way of thinking! If we want to accurately characterize someone, we have no right to speak before fully engaging with their life and completely understanding their inner world. Hasty characterizations are simply absurd and shameless—like the evaluations of Zhang Min by her colleagues!

To avoid similar mistakes, I decided to read everything she wrote below to fully understand and analyze her life. Ideally, I could do something for her—after all, I committed the shameful act of kicking someone when they're down! What I

'm facing is the bitterness of her job search after graduation and the distress she experiences after starting work. In one long article, she wrote:

"…

My job was still unsettled when everyone else left school—the companies I liked didn't want me, and the companies that liked me, I didn't want. My relationship with companies was like two parallel lines, never intersecting!" My parents had both arranged jobs for me through their connections, but I felt that relying on my parents' connections to find work was an insult to my self-esteem and a brilliant irony of university education—although our university's teaching and learning have serious problems, people seem unaccustomed to self-criticism—and so am I!

Before graduation, I meticulously crafted my resume and tried to get it printed at the best place available. The resume was packed with everything—awards, honors, certificates, transcripts, and various official stamps from the school…

Armed with this resume, which I thought would impress employers, my classmates and I tirelessly attended job fairs for graduating students from our own university and other schools. Only when we arrived did we realize what it meant to be outmatched

—some people had everything employers wanted except for marriage certificates and birth certificates! Everyone was comparing their certificates and honors, jostling and pushing around the company booths, some even throwing their resumes in to try and get an interview or written test… Of course, attending job fairs was just one way to find a job. We also bombarded our dream companies online, hoping to get a wide net, or even went directly to their offices to offer our services.

I tried every method, but very few were satisfactory to both sides. Later, I shifted my focus—to other cities… The familiar rejections and cold shoulders toughened me up—I could face even the most sarcastic and harsh words with equanimity! Later,

through my own efforts, I got a job at my current joint venture.

I will remember this job-hunting experience for the rest of my life. That day marked exactly one month since I arrived in this city, and it was also the fourth day I had lingered outside this company—I was there to offer my services. When the security guard asked who I was looking for, I could only answer that I was looking for the HR manager or a company leader. The security guard asked me if I had made an appointment with anyone or if anyone had made an appointment with me. I said no! The guard said then they couldn't let me in. I repeatedly explained that I was there to offer myself, but the guard consistently said they couldn't help. I asked them for their phone number, but they said that number couldn't be given out casually. They suggested I wait at the entrance, and if the person I wanted to see passed by, they could let me know; as for the outcome, that was up to fate—I wonder if they were bored standing at the gate all day and wanted someone to keep them company in their suffering! ~

I believed them. For the first three days, every morning and evening, I would appear at the entrance on time and force a smile to greet the guards…

Perhaps they couldn't bear to see me suffer, because that morning when I arrived, one of the guards said to me: "Ms. Zhang, you've really had a tough time. Today we'll definitely find a way to let you see our big boss—he's here from headquarters to inspect the work and will be visiting our staff later. You must seize this opportunity!" Upon hearing the news, I almost jumped for joy. I quickly thanked him several times, then slipped aside to meticulously touch up my makeup…

Soon, the security guard gave me a wink and gestured in a direction. I looked in the direction he indicated and saw a man being surrounded by a crowd of people walking towards the entrance. The security guards looked tense, and I tensed up too. The boss arrived at the gate, listening to the explanations while greeting the security guards, essentially saying how hard they worked. After he finished his business, I took a deep breath, walked towards the crowd, and said to the boss, “Sir, hello! I know you’re very busy, please allow me a minute of your time! I’ve been waiting here for you for three days just for that one minute…”

The boss was a very kind person; he didn’t interrupt me, but simply nodded to let me continue. So I gave him a concise introduction of my profession and abilities, and also explained my desire to work for the company and what had happened over the past few days.

He watched me with a smile, nodding occasionally. Finally, he turned to someone beside him and said, "Mr. Chen, could you please arrange for the HR department to assess her? This girl's courage is commendable and admirable! Try to keep her!" Then he kindly said to me, "Young lady, I am very grateful for your support and trust in the company! I also admire your courage and determination, and hope you can join our team! I have already made arrangements. If you pass the assessment, we will provide you with a platform to fully utilize your talents!"

All of this came so suddenly, it was an unimaginable result; I could hardly believe my ears! Was this real? I was so excited that my voice trembled as I thanked him…

After the kind old man left, one of the others stayed behind and led me inside for the assessment…

Perhaps it was the boss's words that gave me great encouragement and absolute confidence; I performed exceptionally well in my speech and other tests. They decided to put me in the planning department, and I could report for duty within a week!

…

The legendary story of Zhang Min joining our company had spread throughout the entire organization. I had heard about it before, but the versions varied. Some said she used her looks to attract the boss's attention and thus smoothly entered the company; others said she conspired with the security guards to persuade the boss to visit the lower levels… Of course, some said she earned it all herself.

However, regardless of what people said, everyone affirmed Zhang Min's work ability—within a year of joining the company, she became a key member of her department, and she was essentially in charge of the day-to-day operations.

Her subsequent diary entries were filled with her feelings and self-encouragement about her work. She felt that everyone in the company was watching her, so she worked exceptionally hard, hoping to prove her innocence. She wrote: "I didn't get here because the boss handpicked me; everything I have is earned through my own efforts. I am not, as rumored, the boss's favorite!" Another issue was her confusion about interpersonal relationships after joining the company. She said that every time she went to and from get off work, she would greet the security guards, but they seemed to deliberately avoid her, lacking the ease and confidence she had when waiting for people at the entrance. She read the inferiority complex in their eyes. Why was that? She wouldn't be where she was today without their help. Friendships don't discriminate based on status! She didn't have many friends at the company to begin with; didn't they also consider her a friend? She also sensed the opinions people at the company had about her behind her back. She said, "I know people at the company say I'm arrogant and aloof. My aloofness stems from my desperate need for friends—people who frequently wear makeup are often insecure about their appearance; similarly, acting aloof is a cover for loneliness and isolation!"… After reading all her thoughts and diary entries, I gained a completely new understanding of her, and I felt no disrespect or disrespect whatsoever. Recalling my despicable acts—staring at her breasts, my smug academic discussions in the bar, taking advantage of her after seducing her, and my lewd fantasies while watching porn—a wave of guilt washed over me, and I was overwhelmed with remorse.

My greatest wish and determination was to make amends, to help her, and to become her best friend.

After reading this, it was already 1 a.m. The effects of the alcohol had completely worn off. Logically, after drinking so much and going through so much, I should be exhausted, but I felt no drowsiness at all, and my mind was unusually clear. I had already finished cutting and pasting my files. I checked her disk again to make sure nothing was missing, then shut down the computer and got into bed.

Lying down, I tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. So I turned on the lamp and sat up to smoke, one cigarette after another, filling the room with thick smoke as if it were on fire. My mind kept wandering—how could I get along peacefully and amicably with Zhang Min in the future? Can we pretend nothing happened and act nonchalantly at work from now on? Will our meeting be awkward this morning? Thinking about it, I felt I should take the initiative and talk to her before work to try and eliminate any awkwardness. So, I picked up the phone, dialed her number, and pressed send. But then I immediately canceled—texting is better; some things are hard to say verbally.

I quickly typed a message: "Zhang Min, I don't know if you're asleep? Please allow me to sincerely say I'm sorry! I deeply regret and apologize for my actions! I truly hope to receive your forgiveness. I looked at the things on your hard drive and was very moved. I hope to become your closest friend. If you don't mind, you can treat me like an older brother; come to me if you need anything, and I'll be happy to help and be your closest friend. Please accept my apology, okay? I sincerely apologize and truly hope to become your friend! Looking forward to your reply!" I typed out this super long text message in one go and sent it, followed by a long and anxious wait. I hoped she wasn't asleep either, and even if she was, I hoped she wouldn't turn off her phone, and that she would reply to me immediately! Whether it was disdain or insults, at least I could know her thoughts and attitude at that moment...

I stared at the screen for a full half hour, but there was no response from her. I really wanted to call her to see if she hadn't received it because her phone was off, or if she had received it but wasn't replying to show her contempt and hatred for me? But I didn't dare to call, afraid it was the latter—calling her would only be self-humiliating!

In my room, I felt like a wild beast trapped in a cage, anxiously getting up and lying down, lying down and getting up again, turning the lamp on and off repeatedly... only the cigarette holder in my mouth remained lit as always...

Anxiety and bewilderment made the room, which I used to feel safe and could do whatever I wanted in, suddenly feel strange and terrifying—empty, silent, gloomy and scary!

I, who always thought I was fearless, suddenly became timid, and the instinct to escape and seek refuge devoured my entire being.

I quickly jumped out of bed, hastily dressed, and fled from this home that had once brought me relaxation but now suffocated me.

I reached the deserted street, where eerie illuminated advertisements and hazy neon signs lurked in the pre-dawn mist. Occasionally, a group of mysterious figures would appear, vanishing in a flash into corners or houses. Cars hurried by, quickly swallowed by the darkness…

My shadow followed me like a ghost. A gust of wind blew, and I shivered, pulling my coat tighter before heading towards a place marked "Bath/Massage"—the door was open, the light inside soft and warm, and the occasional cough could be heard. I wanted to go somewhere with people, to use their presence to ward off the eeriness of the street and my own fear.

As soon as I stepped inside, a warm breeze and a sense of warmth washed over me, the air filled with fragrance. I felt as if I had stepped from the underworld into the world of the living. In the lobby, a glamorous young woman and several stylishly dressed women sat languidly on the sofa.

Seeing me enter, the woman greeted me and asked, "Boss, bath or massage?" "

I'm a little tired, I'd like a bath and then a massage!" I said. "

No problem! Whatever you want, I guarantee you'll be comfortable, come with me!" the woman said ambiguously, turning and swaying her ample hips as she led the way.

She led me to the sofa and said to one of the girls, "Xiao Hong, take this boss in and arrange things for him!"

At this moment, a beautiful, voluptuous woman stood up, smiling, and said to me, "Boss, please come with me!" I quickly followed, explaining to her not to misunderstand, I really just wanted a bath and a massage to relax!

The woman turned back to me with a giggle and said, "Don't worry! Here you can have whatever you want, we won't force customers to do anything, everything is done according to the customer's request!"

From the moment I entered, my mood gradually calmed down, and I began to return to normal. The woman handed me a complete set of toiletries and asked if I wanted her to scrub me. I said no and went in by myself, but deep down I really wanted to—that woman's full yet slender body, her fair and delicate skin, her high, rounded breasts, her swaying buttocks as she walked, and her slightly protruding crotch—I took it all in. If such a beauty came to bathe with me, even a god couldn't remain unmoved, let alone me, who is hardly a gentleman! Because I always thought women were dirty and afraid of catching diseases, I could only restrain myself and say no!

I shower almost every day after work, so there wasn't much to wash. The water, neither too hot nor too cold, made all the blood vessels and pores in my body relax. The image of that woman's sexy face kept flashing before my eyes, and my penis unconsciously grew in the warm water. I felt my spirit and energy recover, even to the point of excess!

After a quick shower, I came out in my bathrobe. The woman had already changed into her work clothes—slippers and a bathrobe just like mine. She led me to another room—I secretly watched her swaying back, vaguely sensing she was only wearing three things underneath!

Once in the room, she gently closed the door, then skillfully removed my bathrobe and gestured for me to lie down on the snow-white bed. My body, covered only by my underwear, was completely exposed to her; she glanced at my tent-like underwear.

Under her guidance, I lay face down, constantly adjusting my position to avoid concentrating all my weight on one spot.

She skillfully kneaded and patted various acupoints on my head, then my neck, back of my shoulders, waist, thighs, behind my knees, calves, ankles, soles of my feet, and toes. The massage left me feeling incredibly comfortable and blissful…

After finishing the massage on my back, she had me turn over and began massaging my front—I don't know when she took off her bathrobe, leaving only her private parts exposed, and even those barely covered—her high, full breasts stretched her large bra taut, the two breasts pressing tightly together to form a deep cleavage. Her semi-sheer panties, barely larger than a thong, clung tightly to her private parts, making them appear even fuller and more rounded, with a fleshy cleavage visible through the fabric. The strong slit revealed a few pubic hairs peeking out from the edge…

My heart raced again, and the surge of blood pressure filled my corpus cavernosum. Although I told myself not to look, my mind couldn't control my actions. I intensified my gaze, burning as I looked at every part of her body—her perfect skin was as smooth and white as mutton fat, her face as red and tender as a peach, making my heart itch unbearably, and I wanted to gently bite it. Her shapely waist, her full and perky buttocks, and her arms and thighs like lotus roots… I stared blankly at this intoxicating woman before me, and primal sexual urges began to stir every nerve in my body.

After I rolled over and lay flat on my back, she took off her slippers and gently climbed on top of me—my bulge filled the space between her groin and thighs perfectly. She slightly squeezed her legs together and gently and evenly twisted her waist to match the movements of her hands—her hands kneaded and patted my chest and abdomen, and then she leaned down and rubbed my body with her breasts instead of her hands…

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The hard drive was to blame.

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