A single mother's true experience

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-16 08:12:36

Author: Unknown.

Disclaimer: In this article, "v" and "Xiao Z" are code names.

I am rather conservative

in my thinking. Having been single for so many years, I've been unbearably repressed. I've even resorted to eating eggplants and radishes to satisfy myself, but I dare not go out and find someone. The thought of having sex with a man is truly unbearable. The second year after my marriage to V, our son was born; I'll call him Xiao Z here.

V and I worked hard every day, then enjoyed family life at home. Then, tragedy struck

. Six years ago, late one night, V was driving on business in another city when there was a car accident ahead. V stopped the car at the scene, got out to check, and a heavy truck traveling in the same direction crashed into

us from behind, killing V tragically. This brought immense devastation to our family of three. With the comfort of family and friends, I managed to survive.

Xiao Z became my only focus. I was determined to raise him to adulthood, to make him as talented and upright as V.

I gave all the motherly love in the world to Xiao Z without reservation.

Xiao Z was spoiled from a young age and always had a mother complex. Even when my husband was still alive, he needed me to hold him while he slept, otherwise he would have trouble falling asleep.

Before leaving for school in the morning, instead of waving goodbye to the other children, he would kiss me and touch my breasts before happily going to school.

Even when bathing me at night, he wanted me to scrub his back, saying that his mother cleaned him well. This continued until Xiao Z graduated from junior high school.

Children without fathers are unfortunate and lonely. To prevent him from feeling lonely, I always slept in the same bed as Xiao Z.

He had his own bedroom, but he insisted on sleeping in the same room as me.

I once told Xiao Z that children need to learn to be independent as they grow up, starting with sleeping. Sometimes he could sleep in his own room, but most of the time he still slept with me.

Because of this habit he developed from a young age, even in junior high school, he still needed me to bathe him. When I bathed him in the bathroom, I was wearing very thin clothes, and the water soaked through my underwear, making my body outline clearly visible.

I vaguely saw that Xiao Z's genitals (little penis) were aroused.

Xiao Z even curiously pointed at my genitals and asked, "Mom, why don't you have this thing? What's this thing for?"

I found it difficult to answer and could only brush him off, saying, "You're still young, you'll know when you grow up."

Afterwards, I asked myself: What should I do in the future? I can't continue like this. My child is growing up, gradually maturing, and I need to let him live independently.

However, whenever my child asks me to scrub his back, whenever he wants to sleep in the same room with me, I hesitate and can't bear to refuse.

Countless nights, looking at my sleeping child, I can't help but think of my husband, and the feelings in my heart... Sigh! I think: Actually, it's nothing, I'm his mother.

Sometimes when I see Xiao Z sleeping soundly, his development is already quite mature, his Adam's apple, his erect penis, and I think, my child has finally grown up.

When I wash his underwear, I see white stuff on it; I think that's probably Xiao Z's nocturnal emission.

Because I lived with my child for a long time and was used to his usual behavior, I only wore very thin, semi-transparent underwear at night. Before going to bed, my husband would often suckle my breasts.

I am a 43-year-old woman, with a good figure, large and high breasts, which my husband found very interesting. He would climb on top of me and kiss me from time to time.

On a stormy summer day, my husband was a little scared by the thunder and asked me to hold him tightly. He seemed so comfortable and natural, and I felt very gratified.

Countless days and nights like this passed...

One night, I had a dream that my husband had returned from a business trip. We happily embraced each other and made love passionately. The feeling of being apart for a short time was more exciting than being newly married, and we experienced it to the

fullest.

Suddenly, someone touched me, and I woke up abruptly. It was just a dream. I was very disappointed, and my longing for my husband rose up, and my mood plummeted.

Then I looked again, and oh? It turned out that my husband had already taken off my underwear and was shining a flashlight on my genitals.

"Xiao Z, what are you doing? How could you do this? I'm your mother!" I yelled at Xiao Z for the first time in my life.

Xiao Z was devastated and probably scared. He clung to me and said, "Mom, I'm sorry, but I really missed you!"

My heart softened, and I comforted him, saying, "It's Mom's fault. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you. Go to sleep."

The next day, while tidying Xiao Z's room, I discovered his secret: he had been "watching me."

In his diary, there was a sentence: "Mom's body is amazing, with her full figure, firm breasts, and that mysterious 'garden of the soul.' I want to find

a woman like Mom when I grow up."

Oh my god, my head exploded! What was I going to do? I don't have a husband; who can I tell about this? Xiao Z is my flesh and blood, my hope!

Then I thought, maybe teenagers are just curious, and this will pass. And so, peace returned to our home.

From then on, I resolutely decided to sleep in a separate bed from Xiao Z, and I stopped bathing and scrubbing his back.

I would still occasionally check on him in his room at night to cover him with a blanket and keep him warm.

Once, during summer vacation, Xiao Z caught a cold and had a fever. After receiving an IV drip at the hospital, he recovered quickly at home thanks to my careful care.

That night, Xiao Z again asked to sleep in the same bed with me, and my heart softened again. I said, "Okay, Mom agrees to this one last time."

And so we were together again. We watched TV and chatted in bed, and I asked about his studies.

During the conversation, Xiao Z put his leg on my lower abdomen.

He often did this before, so I didn't pay much attention this time and continued chatting.

Then, Xiao Z deliberately stroked my thigh and lower abdomen with his hand. I glanced at him and said, "The child is older now, don't be naughty."

Xiao Z continued to touch downwards, until he reached my genitals.

Honestly, since my husband passed away, I haven't had a normal sex life. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and see Xiao Z beside me in the dim moonlight. I hug him tightly, still half-asleep, and

mistake him for my husband. You can imagine the intense hunger and desire that I've suppressed for so many years.

So when Xiao Z touched my genitals that time, I felt aroused, and I became very wet, quickly soaking my underwear.

At that moment, my heart was racing, and my face flushed. But I still wouldn't let Xiao Z touch me.

He found my underwear was wet and suddenly climbed on top of me, his erect penis pressing directly against my clitoris.

I was overflowing with lust. At that moment, the last vestiges of my reason wanted to resist, but my limbs were already weak. At the same time, another voice in my head seemed to be whispering: "Keep it behind closed doors, this is our private

matter! If we don't tell anyone, who will know?"

While my legs were weak, Xiao Z pulled down my underwear and thrust his big, hard thing inside me. He was breathing heavily and was very aroused, but he probably didn't know that I was even more excited than him.

I didn't dare make a sound, feeling utterly helpless. While fucking me, Xiao Z said, "Mom, forgive me! I couldn't control myself!"

I was frantic, my legs twitching from his ministrations, and I quickly reached orgasm.

A little while later, Xiao Z ejaculated inside me. Afterwards, he fell asleep quickly. But my heart pounded for a long time. My fingers involuntarily touched my genitals. There was a large patch of warm, sticky fluid there. My

fingers slowly slid in, excitedly exploring my wet, shameful cavity, which was full of our secretions.

That night I couldn't sleep. What had I done? Should I forgive us both? Having started this, could I ever stop?

In the morning, I didn't eat breakfast or cook for him; I went straight to work. I felt I couldn't face him.

All day, my mind was foggy, I was absent-minded, like I was seriously ill. After work, I lingered on the street for a long time, afraid to go home.

I wandered around, not knowing where to go. But I had nowhere else to go but home. That was my home, the place I should return to after struggling outside. Besides, I'd spoiled my son so much that

he didn't need to lift a finger. How could he survive if I didn't go back to take care of him?

I got home, steeled myself, and pushed open the door, only to find Xiao Z watching DVDs with a girl, the table a mess of leftovers. I'd never seen the girl before. Xiao Z said she was a classmate.

I was heartbroken. Sitting next to them, I couldn't eat a thing.

Watching him whisper with that girl, my heart ached. He wasn't worried about me coming home so late. He seemed perfectly content with me, as if nothing had happened between us

.

He didn't want me anymore! So last night he was using me as an experiment, and now he was on his own. That girl was so young, and prettier than me. I was already a haggard old woman

. My pent-up grievances had nowhere to go, so I could only swallow them down.

A short while later, the girl got up to leave. I forced a smile, saw her to the door, and told her, "Come visit often."

I've fallen so low! My son played me, fooled me, and I actually took it seriously, even getting jealous of his girlfriend.

The girl left. I closed the door and asked Xiao Z how long he'd been seeing that girl. He denied she was his girlfriend, saying he'd only seen her to vent, and now he realized it hadn't relieved his stress.

I said, "What else do you need to vent?" He said he was in immense pain, and felt his gaze towards women was "wrong." I said, "There's nothing wrong with relationships between men and women, that's all."

He said he thought he'd find peace after what happened with me last night, but today he realized he'd made a huge mistake; he'd insulted his own mother, and he couldn't forgive himself.

I said, "Mom can forgive you. What wrong has your son done that a mother can't forgive?"

He said even if he could be forgiven, carrying this enormous secret, unable to tell anyone, was too heavy a burden. He couldn't handle it. This was something he hadn't expected.

I said it was something I hadn't expected either. The pressure was suffocating me. I was on the verge of collapse.

My son said it had already happened, but he didn't know how to face it. I said we should sleep in separate beds from now on, and neither of us was allowed to mention last night. He agreed.

Peace and quiet? Was that even possible? I tossed and turned every night, my mind filled with strange thoughts, my fingers constantly wandering between my legs. I made myself incredibly excited, with a persistent high fever.

Just two days later, my son climbed into my bed again. I felt that he had come up naked. His body was as hot as mine.

He immediately cupped my face and kissed me. I let him kiss me without resisting. Being kissed by a young man is very, very comfortable. Yes, coincidentally, this young man was my son. What happened? We ended up

like this! We didn't harm anyone else. We were just helping each other reduce our fevers and relieve our pent-up desires.

What happened next was just a natural progression. Every evening after dinner, he would do his homework while I did the housework. Before bed, he would always come to my bed and have sex with me, then go back to his own bed. We

both felt relaxed and satisfied. No more struggle, no more hesitation.

To be honest, Xiao Z has really grown up; he's just as good as V in bed. Sometimes I let him ejaculate on my face, and I use it as face cream that night. I think it's good for my skin.

Days went by. This special relationship stirred up and disrupted the originally lifeless home. That special desire and "itch-relieving" made me a radiant, new woman.

My son even stirred up that desire within me. Sometimes, when he got really into it during sex, he would thrust into me hard while holding my face and calling me "old slut," saying

he wanted to fuck me to death. Whenever I heard him say such bold things to me, I was incredibly excited. I told him I loved hearing it. Sometimes he would even make me say it too. I would say, "Big-dicked son, come fuck Mommy

, Mommy loves you so much! Come on, big-dicked man..." He always got really excited, then he'd say a string of even more outrageous swear words while thrusting even harder, and then I'd orgasm...

His dad is clumsy with words and has never been so passionate with me. Now I know that "swear words" exchanged between partners in bed can indeed enhance physical pleasure.

For a while in the beginning, when Xiao Z was on top of me, pulling my hair with his left hand and pressing his fingers against my anus to "torture" me during those passionate moments, I always vaguely felt that the person doing me was V. Later, I

stopped deceiving myself like that. The person doing me was Xiao Z, my son.

Sometimes I felt like I was fucking my son, using him to satisfy my desires and needs, using him to fill my physical and emotional emptiness, using his fingers and penis to "relieve my itch." In this kind of thing between men and women, the younger ones always

put in the effort, while the older ones have the advantage.

I know I'm shameful. But I am who I am. Fuck behind closed doors is my greatest enjoyment. Who in the world can understand? Then again, why should I expect anyone else's understanding?

Of course I know this is blatant incest, but I can't stop. Every day I long for nightfall, because in the darkness, I can strip naked and revert to my most authentic self; because in the darkness

, I can become a harlot, a woman I barely recognize.

Is this a "tragedy"? I don't know.

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