LES Love and Desire

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-25 08:13:35

In the first chapter of LES's Love and Desire

, October arrived, like a rocket in the night, ending with a spectacular, boiling finish. The cicadas' chirping faded, and the transition between hot and cold brought the most ambiguous and awkward period.

"Oh my god, what's the difference between your office and a funeral home's morgue?"

Xiao Bo's curses filled the empty pathology room. A black spaghetti-strap tank top covered her slender body, but it couldn't hide her D-cup figure. Names never match physical characteristics; Xiao Bo wasn't just Xiao Bo. It's like someone named Handsome isn't necessarily good-looking.

Beams of light from the computer screen shone from her two hemispheres, revealing a section of fair skin at her waist. I knew how soft it felt, and I knew it was her most sensitive spot. Just lick it, and her sharp, unforgiving mouth would immediately utter a meek, cat-like moan.

"The air conditioning in the hospital is usually pretty strong, just bear with it a little longer, I'm almost done with the last pathology report."
I was typing up a dry, boring cervical smear report across from her. "I told you before, I'm on the weekend shift in the pathology department today, but you insisted on coming along."

"I couldn't help it, don't you know that weekends are the hardest two days for heartbroken people?"

Heartbroken people are like babies who need a babysitter. From Monday to Friday, they have a 'work/school' daycare to look after them, but on weekends they feel lost and helpless. Xiao Bo clicked her tongue a few times, clicking the left mouse button rapidly, browsing through all sorts of fancy websites, putting on a perfect show of boredom. "Ugh~ I wish I could get tickets to the Eve cruise. I'm so bored right now~ so bored~ so bored~"

The Eve cruise has been a hot topic in the community for the past few months. It's a three-day cruise organized by several large lesbian bars and lesbian groups across the country. The cruise ship has entertainment facilities such as large shows, casinos, and swimming pools. Because it is touted as a pure lesbian party, tickets are in high demand and sell out very quickly. There's no need for someone like me who is slow to follow trends to come and buy them.

Fearing that Xiaobo would continue complaining about not getting tickets to the Eve movie like a human mosquito buzzing, I quickly suggested something she loved: "Don't you love reading those lesbian novels on BBS? Go read them!"

"Escape is ridiculous!" Xiaobo retorted irritably, "I've told you so many times, but you never remember." "

Right, right, then go read them! Read from the first chapter to the last, and time will fly by." "
Her novels are never serialized in their entirety online! They have to be published as books and bought on Books.com.tw!" Xiaobo started lamenting again, "Ugh, there's no way to read them for free. Every time it's about to climax, it ends, and then I have to wait for her to finish the book. It's like having sex without reaching home base."

It seemed that none of my attempts to distract her from her lament, so I quickly typed the last letter, pressed the save button, and casually changed the subject again. "How many times have you broken up?"
"I'm not telling you," Xiaobo replied in her uniquely sweet and innocent voice.

Yes, she didn't need to tell me, just as I had no right to ask her.

My name is Fang Yunning, I'm 28 years old, and I'm a medical technologist in the pathology department of a hospital in Taipei. She is Huang Lingbo, nicknamed Xiaobo, 21 years old, a college student. We met on a BBS while looking for a one-night stand.

As the saying goes, a one-night stand means that after one night, you should go your separate ways. But I don't know who owed whom or who wronged whom in our past lives, so our fate seems to be more than just one night.

We agreed to have sex without any emotional involvement. After the pleasure, we chatted and found that our interests and preferences were quite similar, so we established a 'friendship'.

Yes, it really was just a pure friendship. My personality is like a new type of washing machine, dry and wet are separated, sex is separate. I make sure to make things clear beforehand so that there won't be any mess later, no accusations of who got involved or who was clinging to whom.

After our one-night stand, I never touched Xiaobo again, and she never asked to sleep with me again. Instead, we became friends, and occasionally she'd come to see me, and I'd go to see her. Perhaps it's because we were both straightforward enough that we've maintained contact.

"Tsk tsk tsk, tsk tsk tsk." Xiaobo's lips, adorned with glossy lipstick, kept making strange noises. I knew this was her signal, waiting for my question. I asked impatiently, "What now?"

'Jiong Girl' is a large lesbian BBS that has risen to prominence in the last six years. It's divided into categories like food, clothing, housing, transportation, education, and entertainment, ranging from the hymen to the Earth's atmosphere. If you're a lesbian with hands and a keyboard, you can talk about anything. Even 'Escape Flower,' which Xiaobo likes, started as a writer there.

As far as I know, 'Jiong Girl' has brought together many lesbian couples, not to mention those who ended up as unhappy couples. As long as there are emotional entanglements, there's never a peaceful day. There are too many painful precedents in this circle. Everyone wants a long-lasting relationship, but no one tells us that there are too many traps and unexpected bumps on the road to that ultimate goal. With emotions come financial entanglements; with financial entanglements come potential breakups.

That's why I remain single and only talk about sex.

Focusing on one thing and doing it well is my principle; my appearance also adds to my appeal. On lonely nights, some people want to use me as a lifeline, others want me as their dumping ground, and still others are eager for one-night stands. Everyone has lonely moments.

I'm open to all kinds of people, but I also have a clear sense of boundaries. Some I know I can't touch, so I'll just be friends who throw water balloons at them; some people love to talk, so I'll be a little ambiguous with them; some people are sexually indifferent, so they're part of my group, and I'll have my fun.

I categorize, I'm happy, this is the life I've chosen, and no one has the right to judge. I'm single, and I haven't hurt anyone; everything happened between mutual consent. There are too many painful things in the world, why make trouble for yourself? Why not have some fun and enjoy yourselves?

I quickly went to the "Leslove" section, a place specifically for lonely lesbians looking for one-night stands or partners. Sure enough, I found someone named "offer2008 (Clownfish)" who posted an extremely sensational article about swapping partners.

In this circle, even the slightest prominence or spark is enough to trigger a series of endless, recurring posts or heated discussions. I clicked in and read a series of replies, and indeed, it sparked a heated discussion. Everyone was talking about their past one-night stand experiences, and some were discussing how boring their relationships were. But from the later posts onward, people started discussing their one-night stand partners, and Clownfish's request completely went off-topic.

"How about we apply?"

Just then, Xiaobo uttered this astonishing statement.

"Why did you get involved in this mess? You're all alone!" I snapped, jumping away from the screen, ready to shut down the computer and leave the chillingly cold pathology room.

"Fang Yunning, who was it that needed someone to take care of them last year when they had an appendectomy?"

Xiao Bo stood up confidently, hands on her hips, perfectly mimicking my listless, weak state from last year. "Who was it that said back then, 'Xiao Bo, you're such a good friend, I owe you one…'?"

One of the reasons women are both lovable and infuriating is their tendency to hold grudges.

Back then, my appendicitis came on suddenly and suddenly. I had no one to help, my relatives were far away in the south, and my colleagues were all stuck in shifts. With no one to help me in my immediate situation, Xiao Bo selflessly came to take care of me for seven days, even making me a nourishing stewed sea bass soup. Sick people are easily moved, and in that moment of being moved, I impulsively wrote a check, leading to the bitter consequences I'm facing today.

"Anyway, I'm heartbroken and have no one to play with, and you're heartbroken too. We've known each other for a long time, we've had one-night stands, but we've never tried swapping partners. Isn't that exciting?"

When you want to play, you can always find an excuse. Xiaobo came up with a bunch of reasons that weren't really reasons. "Besides, you've never had a girlfriend before, right? This swapping partner game can be a learning experience! You can't always stay at the one-night stand stage, right? If you get old and your looks fade, at least you'll have someone to take care of you..."

Sigh, if I didn't say something, Xiaobo might make my life story even more tragic. I had no choice but to surrender: "Okay! Let's play! I'll play with you!"

Heartbroken people always do crazy things to distract themselves from their pain, and as a friend, I'm quite tolerant of that.

Xiaobo seemed quite invested in this "swap partner game." She handled almost everything herself, including the details of the meeting, time, and place. I was like a pawn in the game, waiting for Xiaobo to pick me up and move me to the destination.

That's why, three days later, I packed a few bags and drove to Keelung.

Strictly speaking, Keelung isn't a city I particularly like. A city I admire should be scenic, with distinct seasons, ideally with a warm sun and a gentle, refreshing breeze—like my type: a cheerful, slender, and fiery beauty. But Keelung is like a melancholy young woman burdened with too much sorrow and grief. Every now and then, she's gloomy, her brow furrowed, a light drizzle falling, then a sudden bout of bipolar disorder with thunder and lightning, a stormy sea—it's as gloomy as it gets.

But somehow, Xiaobo managed to negotiate with them, and the final result was that Xiaobo and the other person's girlfriend (T) went to Kenting for three days, while the other person's boyfriend (P) spent three days with me in Keelung. And the strangest thing is, they insisted I bring my passport. Although I found it odd, I did. One in the south, one in the north—it seems this couple is completely switching partners, going on a wild adventure.

"You're like a butterfly flying in the sky, flying around but never reaching my side..." Just as I was sitting in my car, waiting for the other person to arrive, my phone suddenly rang with Xiao Bo's special ringtone. I quickly picked up the phone: "Hello~?"

"Have you picked them up yet?"

Xiao Bo's extremely excited voice came from the other end of the line. Hearing her ask this, I replied irritably, "Not yet! You silly woman, how did you even arrange this meeting? I really hate Keelung, it rains so much here, it's so damp and uncomfortable, and it looks like it's starting to drizzle again... And why did I bring my passport? Are we going abroad for three days as a date? Why bring my passport..."

"Oh~ Is this the other person's condition? Just bear with it. If you really don't like them, we can end the meeting after dinner. They said if it doesn't feel right after meeting, we can leave without complaining."

Xiao Bo seemed to be beaming with joy. College students can't hide their emotions, so I couldn't help but ask, "What's wrong? Are you very satisfied with them?"

"She's alright, but she's really generous! She went to the bathroom, that's why I called you."
Xiao Bo launched into a torrent of words as soon as she was asked: "She's very humorous, she's just as good as you!"

"Hmph, what do you mean 'just as good as me'!" Comparisons are odious, especially comments coming from P, which made me even more indignant.

"What's wrong? Are you jealous? Don't be like that, Ananda~" Xiao Bo deliberately put on a sweet voice, not forgetting to give a serious lecture: "Hey, don't forget that the fictional background you gave us has to be consistent. We've been dating for five years, and recently we've gotten a little tired of each other, so I thought of a partner-swapping game on your birthday..."

"Hey."

"What?"

"You mean P, what will she be wearing?"

"She'll be wearing a white cropped jacket and a black and white baseball cap with a dinosaur on it, you can tell..."

A white figure appeared in the distance on the slightly rainy windshield; as the figure got closer, I could hear Xiao Bo's words less and less.

At three in the afternoon, the sky over Keelung was a hazy gray, overcast. However, the falling drizzle wasn't enough to obscure my vision; I clearly saw the figure in the distance.

A white cropped jacket—matched.

A black and white baseball cap with a dinosaur on it—matched.

It was a girl holding a large bouquet of red roses.

Then, I saw waist-length wavy hair, billowing in the sea breeze, accompanied by fluttering red rose petals, and a face with distinct features, speckled with raindrops—without hesitation, I quickly opened the small drawer next to me, took out Gatsby hair wax, rubbed it into my palms, and then tousled my hair. The rearview mirror became my makeshift emergency light, and I sprayed a few drops of Burberry

toffee on my wrists—

I looked like an alien in human skin.

Normally, in the conservative and traditional hospital, I try my best to look like an ordinary working woman, but in this situation where I'm meeting people in my circle, especially when meeting a beautiful woman, I naturally have to shed my human skin and reveal my true nature.

The stereotypical image of a tomboy in the industry: plaid shirt, trousers, Dr. Martens, a stylish short haircut, and unisex cologne—all the essentials.

The light rain in Keelung did nothing to diminish the girl's beauty and striking presence. As she approached the car window, our eyes met, and I saw a pair of beautiful, watery eyes.

"Are you Sea?" she spoke first, calling me by my BBS code name, her voice soft and gentle, like a pure white feather caressing my face.

"Yes, you are…" I stammered for the first time, and in the blink of an eye, a silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'm Clownfish,"

she said, uttering her BBS code name, wiping away that tear? Or was it raindrops? I couldn't tell. In any case, she quickly replaced it with a faint, captivating smile, even her beautiful eyes curving into perfect arcs. "Sorry, the rain in Keelung is a bit unpredictable. You don't mind giving someone a

ride if they get a little wet, do you?" I'd mind giving a ride to someone who's soaked, especially if I'm a car enthusiast; but giving a ride to a beautiful woman who's soaked is no problem for a chivalrous man.
As she got in the car and I started the engine, suddenly a large bouquet of roses was thrust in front of me.
"Happy Birthday."

It's a bit abrupt, yet also a bit novel, for a tomboy to receive flowers from a girlfriend; especially since this clownfish lady has an inexplicably charming aura, it's really hard to refuse.

"Um...don't you like roses?" Perhaps because I'd been in a daze for too long, the clownfish lady asked timidly, "I'm really sorry, because this is my first time meeting someone I met online, so I don't know how to express myself...I only heard from your girlfriend that it's your birthday today, so..."

"No, it's okay, I like roses." I reached out and placed the flowers on the back seat. Although it was a fake birthday, my acting skills made the whole scene go smoothly. "But more than flowers, I'm interested in where we're going later."

"Where do you want to go?" the clownfish asked.

"I don't know, this place seems to be your choice, isn't it?" I raised an eyebrow, indicating that the decision was up to her. "I'm not familiar with Keelung, besides seafood, do you have any good ideas?"

"I always thought no one would officially respond to my article about swapping partners." The clownfish chuckled, "You two are the first couple, so I think you must be quite adventurous, right?"

"What do you think?" Playing hard to get, I threw the question at her again.

"It's still early, so... I'll take you somewhere."

The clownfish smiled mysteriously, with a beauty by my side, I'd be willing to go even to a garbage dump.

As we arrived at Xiandongyan, the sun peeked out from behind the clouds again. The gray-toned cement buildings paired with yellow-tiled roofs possessed a rustic and sacred charm. The oppressive heat made me long for the air conditioning in the car; the autumn heat was raging, indiscriminately scorching everyone.

In contrast to my aversion to the heat, Clownfish seemed completely unfazed, beckoning me inside.

"It's cooler inside, you won't feel hot once you're in," Clownfish greeted me, then, like a seasoned tour guide, began to describe the surroundings: "This place is called Xiandongyan because immortals cultivated themselves here and attained immortality. Hence the name 'Immortal Cave.' It's divided into a main cave, a left cave, and a right cave. The main cave is dedicated to Guanyin and the Eighteen Arhats, the right cave has stone Buddha sculptures, and the left cave is rather narrow..."

The environment was indeed quite pleasant, extremely tranquil, and since it wasn't a holiday, there weren't many worshippers disturbing the peace. However, it was still damp. Although I listened to Clownfish's explanation, I mostly ignored it. What left cave, right cave? For me, hooking up with girls is always a matter of being proactive or passive. Oh, my apologies.

This clownfish is quite busy in front of me, pulling me around to introduce herself. Her bright red lips move up and down, occasionally revealing her little red tongue and pearly teeth; her big eyes sometimes squint, sometimes widen. She's completely the opposite of the one-night stands I've always

sought. Usually, my one-night stand partners are like me—experts, players. We both understand what we should and shouldn't do.

A one-night stand is just that—one night. Anything can happen with a lover in one night: seduction, sex, flirting. It's like dancing; dance in sync, stay in tune, don't get in the way, don't be suspicious, don't step on their sore spots.

Experts can understand each other with just a glance.

But with this clownfish, I can't figure her out.

She said it's her first time meeting someone she met online? That's so bold! Posting a message on a forum asking for a partner was bold enough, but meeting her completely changed my impression of the author. The clownfish was as pure as a white flower.
We didn't seem like a partner-swapping relationship; rather, we were like friends meeting for the first time, with a clear boundary.
"Come and see, I bet you haven't tried this before!"

The clownfish beckoned to me, gesturing for me to come over to the narrow cave entrance. "This temple is integrated with the mountain wall. You can come and see this entrance that only one person can pass through..."

I walked over and entered the narrow cave. It was indeed cramped; I suddenly had a strange feeling of falling into another dimension. The cave could only accommodate one person at a time. The clownfish followed behind me. This trivial yet overly wholesome form of matchmaking suddenly made me anxious.

Since I couldn't decipher her tactics, I decided to test her limits. So, as the passage widened, I turned around and kissed her lips—I had caught her.

Her lips carried a hint of minty fragrance, the moisturizing lipstick seeping from her lips onto mine, soft and slightly cool, but the touch of our lips was wonderful. Kissing is the gentlest form of lovemaking, and it's my go-to method for testing the waters.

"Huff... Ugh...!"

What should have been a blissful experience with my eyes closed was suddenly interrupted by a painful sound. I opened my eyes and saw the clownfish's face contorted in pain. I immediately stopped. "Are you alright?"

"I... cough cough cough... cough cough cough..."

In the dim light, I saw the clownfish's face quickly turn red, her rapid coughing echoing in the narrow passage. As she coughed, she pointed behind her and turned to leave. Because her coughing was quite intense, and with other pilgrims entering, we quickly left the Fairy Cave.

Once outside, the clownfish quickly took out a medicine box from her bag, swallowed two pills, and after a few seconds, her complexion returned to normal.

"Are you...are you alright?" I looked at her with some concern.

"I'm fine, I just choked." She glared at me, then said in a low, somewhat aggrieved voice, "I had a mint in my mouth, and you suddenly kissed me, making me choke."

"Choke...choke?" This reason stunned me for a moment. After years of seducing countless women, everyone praised my kissing skills, and this was the first time someone had told me she choked on my kiss. "Sorry, I just wanted to say that since we've switched partners, we should do things that couples do..."

"Never mind." She sighed, a hint of melancholy welling up in her eyes, but it vanished in the blink of an eye. "You're right, I was overreacting."

"So what was that pill you just took...?"

"I won't tell you." She stuck out her tongue, looking mischievous again, and with the distant coastal scenery outside, she really looked like a mermaid who had stolen from the sea to land. "You don't like me bringing you to tourist attractions like this, right?"

Bingo.

I've long been accustomed to the fast pace and scientific efficiency of city life. This kind of life of quiet contemplation is too distant. Although her words hit the nail on the head, I still pretended to be polite for a while: "No... not really. I actually prefer nighttime activities. This place is quite nice too. I haven't been to a temple for many years, I..."

"It's alright, later tonight's activities..." She smiled, as if confidently saying, "I think I can satisfy you."

Instantly, my fish gracefully flicked its tail and slipped away from the hook, but it aroused an even stronger desire to conquer it.
The rain stopped at night; a black curtain covered Keelung Harbor. The dense darkness couldn't contain a single star, but the streetlights and the illumination from passing cars and ships were more moving than the stars. The artificial light strung together, illuminating one end of the sky with a bright yellow light. The light reflected in the water, forming pillars of light. A gentle breeze blew, and the light and shadow twisted and swayed gracefully.

"What are you standing there for? Come on up!"

As the clownfish waved to me from the boarding ramp, I remained rooted to the spot, mouth agape, staring like a fool at the massive white cruise ship before me.

I finally understood why I'd insisted on bringing my passport—it was for a cruise on the high seas.

"Hurry, hurry! Luckily I timed it right; five minutes later and we'd miss the ship!" The clownfish scurried ashore and pulled me aboard.

"How do you have a ticket for the Eve?" I asked in a shrill voice, like a country bumpkin. "Tickets for the Eve should have been sold out three weeks ago! How…how did you manage to get one?"
"I did manage to get one," she smiled, the sea breeze gently ruffling her long, curly hair, her bright eyes filled with an inexplicable sorrow. Though she smiled, it seemed forced. "Come on, you must be hungry too. Let's see if there's anything good to eat."

The 'Eve' truly lived up to its name. I'd never seen so many rainbow flags, nor so many of its kind.

It was an exceptionally beautiful cruise ship. To create a theme for this trip, from small details like wine glasses and coasters to large items like curtains, beds, and coffee tables, black and white lace decorations perfectly matched the ship's hull. The mast was even adorned with vibrant six-colored rainbow flags, giving the illusion that only females existed in the world.
Stepping inside, the faint smell of newly renovated wood and paint filled the air. The cabins were impeccably tidy, with luxurious double beds taking up a lot of space. The wooden furniture and decorations were softened by the warm yellow lighting, and next to them were glass windows overlooking the azure sea.

After putting away my luggage, stepping out of the room brought even more visual stimulation, even more captivating than before.
This was an extremely feminine realm.

As night fell, the Eve restaurant exuded a deep, alluring thrill, a sensation that seeped into the very bones. The numerous delicacies of the European-style buffet steamed with enticing aromas, mingling with the diverse scents emanating from the many female patrons as they entered to collect their food. Cigarettes, food, fine wine, song and dance, beautiful female bodies, and smiling faces of girls strung together a tightly packed, stimulating symphony. Sorrow and pain seemed to be barred from entering; every corner of the restaurant was filled with a joyful atmosphere.

Unexpectedly, during the meal, the organizers hired foreign dancers to perform a topless show. Tall, fair-skinned, and alluring girls, dressed in beautiful, voluminous skirts, danced passionately in circles as the music blazed from the speakers. They flirted with every woman present, whether T or P, or neither; the smoke swirled around me, and I felt as if I were in a dreamlike illusion, a dream filled only with females and their joyful, ambiguous allure.
Just as the song and dance show came to an end, a magic show with audience interaction and fun began. During this break, I noticed the clownfish next to me was missing. I immediately got up to look for her.

Several faces brushed past me as I searched; each glance I met held a mix of scrutiny, probing, and amazement.

"Clownfish?"

As I returned to my cabin, I saw a sight that surprised me .

"Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday..."

The flickering firelight illuminated the clownfish's smiling face. She held a small Black Forest cake covered in cream and chocolate shavings in her hands, slowly approaching me. "Happy~ ... For me, a birthday was just another excuse to party with a strange woman, a way to while away the holiday with food and drinks. But… this birthday was fake; this companionship was fake too. Yet, the clownfish before me, her smile, her expression, the way she held the cake, was strangely earnest. “Quick, make a wish, blow it out.” The clownfish’s sweet smile made it hard to refuse. I obeyed, closed my eyes, made a wish, and blew out the candles. The cabin, now extinguished, was filled with the distinctive scent of candles. When the lights came back on, the clownfish playfully smeared some cream on my nose. “Happy birthday.” The cool touch of the cream combined with the aroma of Black Forest chocolate chips, and the clownfish’s smile, left me speechless. This girl was as pure as white cream, her innocence reaching a level I could never attain. Her earnestness made my carefree, irresponsible self feel ashamed, while I was like the wicked dark chocolate. The gentler her smile, the deeper my self-loathing grew. "Are you...aren't you happy? Was I being too nosy?" Perhaps seeing my silence, the clownfish's expression froze. She quickly put down the cake, picked up a tissue, and wiped the cream off my face. "I'm sorry, because I thought you didn't seem very happy when I gave you flowers when we met, so I went to the ship's restaurant and bought a small cake. I thought celebrating a birthday with cake would be more in line with the usual holiday routine..." "Why do you care so much about whether I'm happy or not?" I took her hand, looking into her eyes, which held an unfathomable depth. "Aren't we...aren't we a couple?" she murmured, lowering her eyelashes to avoid my gaze. "I just wanted to try celebrating my birthday with my lover." "Haven't your partner ever celebrated your birthday with you?" Her answer was so unexpected that I couldn't help but ask again. "That post of yours asking for a partner, wasn't it..." Before I could finish speaking, the clownfish stuck out her pink tongue and licked away all the remaining cream from the tip of my nose. My heart suddenly raced when her moist, warm tongue touched the tip of my nose. "I'm your companion now," she breathed, her words like those of a bewitching mermaid from the ocean. "Just remember, we're lovers." Like a greedy fisherman, I wrapped my arms around her slender waist; embracing her fragrant body was my only desire. Her eyes were closed, her head tilted back, still incredibly alluring. The contact of our lips felt natural. The sweetness and delicate texture of chocolate and cream spread between our lips, chocolate chips swirling between us, the gentle caresses making the cake even more delicious. Her kisses were sweet, knowing when to lick and when to suck; her soft, skillful kisses were mesmerizing. Her clownfish-like kissing technique was so adept, it surprised me. But the doubt didn't last long, because the ensuing sensual stimulation made me forget all other thoughts, focusing only on the woman before me. We both collapsed onto the bed, only then realizing that the sheets were covered in scattered rose petals. The red petals, scattered across the white mattress, clung to our bodies. The clownfish's thoughtful gesture of celebrating my birthday touched me. Our kissing left us both with marks on our bodies. The bright red marks stood out starkly against her skin, and desire drove us both wild. The facade of politeness crumbled, revealing the sweet juices of love. We stripped away each other's clothes until our raw body heat mingled. We kissed endlessly, countless breaths escaping our lips. I removed her pink bra, grasping her firm breasts, feeling their fullness and richness. I licked her nipples with my fingertips and tongue; the small nipples, unable to withstand the provocation, immediately stood erect and red. Her half-undone jeans revealed her fair thighs and pink lace-trimmed panties. Although they weren't the seductive thongs I was used to, they had a unique charm. Her wavy hair, lying on the messy bed, created a romantic atmosphere. Her rosy lips and blushing cheeks were incredibly alluring. Her hazy eyes held an innocent helplessness. I felt like I was touching an angel, yet there was a different kind of pleasure in it all. "What's wrong?" she asked, panting. After pausing from the passionate kiss, her breasts parted naturally, her nipples still covered in my saliva and teeth marks. "You're wet." I touched the edge of her panties, watching the wet patch gradually grow larger. My mouth went dry, yet I couldn't bear to leave this beautiful sight. "Because you make my heart flutter so much." Her voice still retained the gentleness of when we first met, but now it sounded alluring. The clownfish even proactively circled his hand near her panties, each circle deeper and more seductive than the last. Under the pressure of his fingers, the curly hair peeked out, like tentacles of desire, eagerly awaiting my entry. "How...do you make love with girls?" Her soft voice resonated in my ears, her hand continuing its circling motions on her panties. "Make love the way you like." I pounced on her, impatiently pulling off her panties, exposing her beautiful triangle to me. As the panties fell away, I saw the beautiful entrance glistening with fluid. I eagerly parted her thighs, letting my tongue taste her nectar directly. "No..." she said shyly, pushing me away. "Let me lick it."

My semi-forceful insistence stemmed from the irresistible allure of her unique scent. Like a taut bowstring, poised to be released, fueled by a surge of pheromones stimulating my desire, how could I possibly back down? I pulled her hand away, determined to lick the juices from her narrow crevice. Her scent mingled with the fragrance of laundry detergent on her clothes, damp and with a faint, slightly fishy smell, yet this very scent only intensified my stimulation, arousing every nerve in my body.

Licking the juices made my breathing rapid, and my movements quickened. My tongue teased her clitoris like a hummingbird seeking honey, relentlessly squeezing and sucking. The movements of my fingers and tongue were like a perfectly synchronized metronome, constantly heating up the atmosphere. Her soft moans and gasps were the best encouragement.

My tongue licked her soft, thick lips, deliberately making sucking and licking sounds to intensify her reaction.

"Hoo...hoo...mmm...!"

I left her honey pot, licking upwards with my tongue, which was covered in her love juice and my saliva. I licked over her thick, frizzy hair, extending down to her flat stomach, circling her cute little navel, and then moving to her nipples. The glistening, transparent liquid flaunted its possession on her nipples. The clownfish arched her back to me, shyly uttering seductive words: "Don't do this...it's too torturous..."

"How to torturous? Like this?"

I pressed against her back, extending my middle finger to suddenly attack her love-drenched cave. She trembled at first, then let out a cute, cat-like cry.

"Mmm...ah!"

Kissing her smooth, silky back, my other hand grasped the full breast I had just been licking. Her lower body was like a greedy spider's hole, constantly sucking on my other hand's fingers.

"Faster..."

"What do you want? Faster what?" I asked playfully.

"Faster...not enough..."

A glistening bead of sweat slid down her forehead. Her red lips and hazy eyes, as she turned away, were like a bewitching charmer. In that instant, I suddenly understood that death and sex were so similar in essence that some could die beneath a peony, and even as a ghost, they would be romantic.

My fingers inside her gently hooked, and the moist, tight walls of her flesh immediately clung to me, like a gluttonous demon trying to hold onto a passerby in the most dazzling and decadent way.

We remained in the rear-entry position, with her sitting on my lap. I increased the speed of my fingers' movements, then inserted them shallowly, pressing my thumb against her purplish-red clitoris. The clownfish, unable to withstand the stimulation from both inside and outside, cried out louder, and her breathing became more rapid.

"Ah...ah! Ahh...um..."

Sweat dripped from our bodies, mingling together. The wet sounds of our fingers moving in and out echoed her cries. She responded to the piston-like movements of my fingers, her tight opening flowing with even more nectar, almost soaking my entire palm. We had cast aside reason and politeness, leaving only the most primal cries and desires.

"Ah—"

Until her climax, she breathed out the last breath like silk, collapsing limply in my arms. I could still feel the pleasure of her vagina contracting... Chapter

Two:

After the passionate lovemaking, I woke up to find the bed beside me cold.

"Clownfish?"

I called her by her code name, but apart from a slight swaying, there was no echo in the cabin.
I got out of bed, changed into my outer clothes, and pushed open the door. I saw several figures passing by in the corridor. Everyone's smiling mask was fake, the smell of alcohol and perfume mingling, only the loneliness in their eyes was real.

The deafening cheers and sound effects from the lobby filled my ears. While it wasn't quite the kind of nightly revelry and decadent lifestyle, the entertainment on this ship was definitely beyond imagination. The moment you stepped out of your room, a dazzling array of entertainment awaited you. Endless song and dance shows, magic shows, activities, indoor gym equipment, casinos, KTV…

Were people paying for happiness? No, they were paying for a chance to encounter love. Happiness comes in many forms, but love is so hard to find. Some people have everything in life, except for love; love becomes a luxury, a drug.
Observing the women coming and going on the ship, I could almost always see a searching, curious gaze in their eyes, searching for love. Unable to find

the clownfish anywhere, I pushed open the door to the deck and saw her standing by the railing, gently looking up, her left hand putting a pill into her mouth, her right hand tightly gripping her phone. Her waist-length wavy hair billowed high in the sea breeze with her movements, like another mysterious and unpredictable wave.

Although she was extremely cooperative in bed, completely immersed in the moment, I suddenly noticed that when they weren't making love, her watery eyes would involuntarily gaze into the distance, like a doll with its soul detached from its body.

Who was she calling on her phone? Why couldn't she make the call in the room? For some reason, I didn't like that expression on her face.

"Do you prefer curry that tastes like poop, or curry that tastes like poop?"

When I approached her and asked this, she finally snapped out of her reverie and gave a somewhat embarrassed smile: "Why would you ask such a question?"

"Because your expression right now is as ugly as if you'd eaten curry that tastes like poop," I replied with a laugh. Good, at least I said something useful to get her attention.

"Why force yourself to live a real and miserable life? It's like eating curry that tastes like poop. If it were me, I'd rather choose curry-flavored poop. Since I'm going to eat it anyway, I might as well choose something more comfortable."
"Nonsense." Clownfish couldn't help but punch me, and we laughed and joked around.

"Tell me, what's bothering you? It'll feel better to talk about it." I asked with concern, "Are you okay? Why have you been taking medicine? Are you feeling unwell?"

"I've been feeling unwell for a long time." She smiled sweetly and pointed to her chest. "But you just made me feel very comfortable."
You know, in love, the hardest people to deal with aren't experts, but novices.

Experts understand the game of love, the rules of love. They know when to move on to step two after step one, or when there's an unexpected situation and they need a backup plan. Novices, on the other hand, have absolutely no rules. Even if you try to create the atmosphere of step one, you might just break the game, or something unexpected might suddenly happen.

Clownfish completely belongs to the latter.

Based on my personal rules, I would never pry into someone's past private life or their relationship with a partner. But now I don't know whether I should ask Clownfish if her "uncomfort" is truly "physical discomfort" or "psychological discomfort."

The recent economic downturn has affected small circles, with some people suffering from depression or mental illness, requiring medication. I wonder if Clownfish is like that too? I just know that when our eyes meet, I'm involuntarily drawn to this girl with her watery eyes.

The sea and sky are dark, the ship's lighting being the only source of light; the overlapping and separating artificial lights make our figures overlap and separate. The performance in the cabin seems to have ended, and some soft dance music drifts from inside the ship.

"How did you and your girlfriend come up with the idea of swapping partners?" I boldly asked.

Clownfish stared at the sea for a long time before saying softly, "It was her idea."

"Don't you want to swap?"

"I always go along with her." Clownfish gave a wry smile. "In love, the one who gives the most becomes the other person's slave."

"I..."

"Shh." She interrupted me, like a docile cat, nestled on my shoulder. Oblivious to our surroundings, we were like a pair of lovebirds, our hair swaying in the sea breeze, carrying a soft fragrance that masked the fishy smell and all my questions.

"This is my favorite song," her voice whispered in my ear, warm and gentle, like a feather brushing against my face, intoxicating. "Just like this... just like this for now..." We

were lovers.

We were playing the role of lovers. Loving each other, loving each other, for these three days only. Whether the music was long or short, whether our steps were right or wrong, sometimes silence spoke louder than words, and an embrace was more powerful than coldness. When

the song ended, even with a white short jacket over her, her body was still chilled by the sea breeze. I held her close, warming the clownfish with my own body heat.

"Are you shivering? Are you cold?" I touched the thigh of her jeans, teasingly testing her comfort.
"Then you'll be responsible for warming me..."

She leaned her lips towards me, and I accepted her initiative, once again unleashing my desire for the female body.
Nothing on the Eve could compare to the allure of the clownfish before me.

We kissed and embraced, oblivious to everyone else, laughing like children, ignoring the stares of others, before returning to our cabin.

The cruise ship was remarkably stable, with minimal rocking, though we could hear the conversations and footsteps of passersby in the corridor; however, these sounds did not hinder our passion, but rather added to the excitement. I showered her face, earlobes, and even her snow-white neck beneath her white cropped sports jacket with the gentlest kisses. She embraced my head, saying earnestly, "This time, it's my turn to make you happy."

The clownfish held an indescribable, magical allure for me.

It was like a seemingly simple magic trick, yet just when I thought I understood it, it unleashed a clever and incomprehensible feat. I thought I had her in my trap, only to discover in the next second that she had already escaped.
"Aren't you tired?" I asked.

"You were tired just now, weren't you?" The clownfish chuckled, two red clouds rising on her cheeks. "I also...
want you to experience it..."

I've always been skeptical of P's 'skills'.

They're alluring, youthful, and sweet, and I enjoy seeing women experience orgasm in my arms, but I have doubts about finding a P who can also bring me pleasure.

Yes, I've never found a comfortable sense of conquest or visual pleasure in these one-night stands, but no woman who can truly bring me to orgasm.

I wonder if that's why I keep seeking one-night stands? To me, "orgasm"
is like a mythical treasure; I keep searching, just to glimpse the true face of "orgasm."
The clownfish pulled something that surprised me from her bag—

a flesh-colored wearable phallus.

"You... you wouldn't want to use something like this to bring me 'pleasure,' would you?" I can imagine how stiff my smile was.

"You've never used something like this before?" The clownfish smiled brightly as she began unpacking the wearable dildo. "This is my 'birthday present' for you."

"No...no need to bother." For a moment, I was a little scared of this toy, which was thicker than my finger. Although I've been playing with ONS for so long, I've never encountered a dildo being inserted into my anus.

"How about trying it?" The clownfish frowned, then pleaded in a pitiful tone, "If you're really uncomfortable, I'll stop."

Who can refuse a beautiful woman's pleading? I could only nod in agreement.

Her kisses were as cute as a bird pecking at rice, the speed of her kisses and her soft lips were full of charm, and occasionally her pink tongue would stick out and lick my earlobe, and her snow-white breasts would rub against my body through my clothes. The memory of our recent lovemaking resurfaced, and I remembered how alluringly white her breasts were. I pulled down her collar, and I could see my teeth marks on it.

"No no no no~" She shook her head and said no several times, while backing away. "Now it's my turn to take the initiative, and you're the passive one."

I was amused by her playful gesture, so I grabbed two pillows to use as cushions and lay on the bed to watch what the clownfish was going to do.

I saw her lips slightly part, her pink tongue touching her upper lip, and she picked up her phone from the table and pressed a button. The music of "Buttons" by Wildcats immediately filled the cabin.

She began to sway her hips to the music, her hands roaming over her body. The strong beat, with a touch of Middle Eastern flair, spread out. She tossed her hair, swayed, and was perfectly in sync with the rhythm. She stylishly threw off her shoes, and the movement of her bare feet and unbuttoning her jeans was incredibly seductive.

The music ended, and the clownfish's clothes became less and less. Finally, when she climbed onto the bed, she was only wearing a pair of panties. She took a can of white stuff and a condom to the bed. I asked curiously, "What's this?"

"It's lubricant." She put a condom on the wearable dildo and then poured out the white can of lubricant to apply. "I promise I won't hurt you. If you feel uncomfortable, I'll stop immediately."

Her repeated assurances reassured me a lot. I saw her first put the prepared toys aside, then spread my legs and began licking my genitals.

The clownfish was really serious; she didn't rush things but did plenty of foreplay. I could feel the stimulation of her tongue sliding over my clitoris before entering my opening. Soon, it became very wet.
My heart raced, like the arduous climb before riding a roller coaster. My clothes were stripped off with her movements, and soon we were naked. She held my buttocks, first putting on the wearable dildo, then gently pressing the other end against my opening, playfully circling around it. The wet, sticky lubricant, combined with her body heat, made it impossible to distinguish what the fluid was for a moment. My opening felt intensely empty and painful from this teasing...

"Want some?" The clownfish held the wearable dildo and kept circling it around my opening.
"Mmm." Honestly facing my desires has always been my principle.

"Good job, good boy." The clownfish whispered ambiguously and hoarsely, suddenly thrusting its end into my wet opening. "I'll satisfy you—"

A feeling completely different from oral sex filled my insides, slippery, wet, and the steady thrusting speed made me extremely reassured, while also relieving the pain of emptiness I had just felt.

"Do you like it? Do you want to look down and see how wet you are?" The clownfish deliberately gave me a live broadcast while shaking her waist, the 'splashing' sounds of water echoing with each thrust. "You're cooperating very well, it's really great down there, swallowing such a big toy, hmm, is this your first time?"

"Mmm..." With this thrusting, I felt a surge of heat, almost unable to see the clownfish in front of me, only wave after wave of pleasure overwhelming me.

"Wow, that's amazing! So good on your first time. You're so wet down there, and your expression is so cute..."
She kept stroking my B-cup breasts, and the way she played with my light brown nipples made me extremely shy; I wished there was a hole I could crawl into.

"You really like sung sex?" I panted, trying to interrupt her live sex broadcast.
"No," she said in a tingling voice, licking my earlobe again, "I just like seeing you blush."

Before I could respond, her previously steady, slow thrusting suddenly accelerated, and the sudden pleasure intensified. I could barely withstand the explosive, overwhelming joy—at the moment of climax, she gently massaged my aroused clitoris. I felt like I was flying; the roller coaster I was riding suddenly veered off the tracks, soaring through a blank sky. I didn't want to think, I didn't want to do anything. I knew the thrusting was still inside me, but the feeling was as if time had stopped, everything was frozen, only the pleasure spreading and growing like opium smoke.

So, this is what an orgasm is…

When she slowly removed the wearable dildo from inside me, I noticed
bloodstains on it from the intense movements—

"Am I… your first time?" The clownfish seemed surprised, looking at the bloodstains.

"Sort of." I was still panting, my heart still pounding, still thinking about that almost intoxicating orgasm. "The first time... I felt an orgasm."

"Should I give you a red envelope?"

Clownfish's serious expression made me laugh, completely ruining the atmosphere. However, she always gets serious when she shouldn't, and continued to ask, "I'm serious, isn't it customary to give a red envelope for deflowering... um... ooh..."

Her seriousness made me unable to resist giving her a kiss.

At this moment, silence spoke louder than words; saying nothing made it even more perfect.

Orgasm, like love, is a drug.

Once you've tasted it, you'll want to try it again.

So, the entertainment on the ship can't compare to the pleasure in bed. Clownfish and I almost never left our cabin. We were like playful children, exploring and discovering each other's areas of excitement and stimulation. Apart from the occasional interruption from room service, there was more and more laughter, more and more pursuit of desire, which always brought me the greatest sensory enjoyment.

Clownfish's appearance and her bedroom skills were almost a perfect match. I had never seen such a great sexual partner. She was daring and capable. Her suitcase was like Doraemon's magic pocket, containing not only toys but also costumes. Sometimes she's the nurse and I'm the doctor, sometimes it's a student and a teacher, sometimes a policewoman and a criminal…

Cross-dressing adds to the spice of sex. I don't know if I'm the one who captured the clownfish, or the clownfish captured me? Between the two of us, who is the prey? Who is the hunter? But I only know one thing: I love this carnal pleasure. The joy and excitement the clownfish brings is something no one else has ever given me.
But if I had to point out a small drawback, it would be the clownfish's drugs and her elusive expressions.

Like I said before, I don't know why, but I really dislike when she suddenly shows that expression.
That expression is completely elusive to me. Her body is there, but her soul and thoughts are beyond my grasp.

I'm afraid to ask her if she's thinking about her girlfriend when she makes that expression. This is the first time I've felt afraid to ask someone a question, and I'm also a little angry at myself for not being able to capture the clownfish who is completely devoted to me.
"You're amazing."

After a recent climax, I sighed and said this. The clownfish kissed me happily. "How amazing?"

"You make me so happy..." I stroked her face; the soft, warm feeling was captivating. "Even though it's the same person, it feels like she's done it with many people..." "

She loves playing dress-up games."

For some reason, the clownfish's answer chilled my previously cheerful mood. But the clownfish, unaware of my thoughts, continued, "Right now, it's just limited to bedroom activities, which is child's play. Sometimes she even asks me to go out on the street and play completely different roles, like..."

"I'm hungry. I'd like to order room service. Would you like something to eat?"

I abruptly interrupted the clownfish, surprised by my own rudeness, but the rest of her words made me bury my head in the sand like an ostrich, selectively refusing to listen. I was afraid that after hearing those details, all the pleasure in this space would be shattered. I didn't know where this fear came from. But the clownfish didn't seem to care and changed the subject, "Okay, I'd like to order a combo sandwich."

What's wrong with me?

After playing this game of Ones so many times, this is just a three-day companion-swapping game, like making three cups of concentrated cola from one cup of ingredients, drinking them three times, there's no difference, the taste is pungent, and there's no trace after drinking.

But no matter how tender and affectionate, time is ruthless, and in the end, there will still be a merciless farewell.
The three-day trip passed quickly, and the Eve returned to Keelung Port, and it was time to part ways. I politely drove her to the train station.

"Ah!"

Just as I was trying to find some reasons to keep her on the train a little longer, the clownfish suddenly exclaimed. I quickly asked, "What's wrong?"

"I almost forgot to give you a birthday present." The clownfish opened her purse, rummaged around, and immediately took out a long, rectangular box about the size of a palm, wrapped in light blue with gold trim, and gave it to me. "Happy birthday."
"Thank you." Since someone gave me a gift, I naturally had to return the favor. It was a good excuse, especially for reconnecting after a breakup. "I was thinking..."

But before I could finish, her phone rang inconveniently.

"Hello? It's me." Her soft voice echoed in the car, her lips forming an "excuse me" sound. I caught a glimpse of her profile as she spoke on her phone, her gentle smile and voice immediately suggesting she was calling her significant other. "Um...yes, good. I need to catch my ride now. Yes, okay~ I understand. I'll call you when I'm almost there, and you can come out to pick me up? Okay. Bye-bye."

Suddenly, I felt like I'd eaten a sour plum drizzled with century-old vinegar, so sour it made my ears itch. I wanted to snatch the phone from the clownfish's hand, throw it out of the car, and keep the clownfish locked in my car forever, even if it took a hundred years.

After three days of frenzied sex, instead of feeling refreshed, I was filled with a series of questions, like a frog laying eggs.

Where does the clownfish work? What's her birthday? What's her real name? What's the status of her relationship with her girlfriend? Where does she live? Does she live with her girlfriend? Or with her family? Or rent a place? What does she like? What doesn't she like? She said the partner swapping was her girlfriend's suggestion, so what about herself? What are her feelings about this partner swapping? I remember she wrote in her partner swapping article that she and her partner had been together for seven years, and for those seven years she had lived a life of being manipulated. Why? Does her partner have such magic that she willingly submits? What is her impression of me? Isn't my charm enough to extend a one-night stand into a multi-night affair?

The car slowly pulled into the lane in front of Keelung Railway Station, and I stopped. Keelung, as if echoing my utter helplessness, began to drizzle again.

"Thank you," she smiled politely.

"You're welcome. Would you like something to drink before we go inside to wait for the train?"

This was the first time I'd ever asked my date to spend a little more time with her. I couldn't quite put my finger on what was making me feel awkward and want to hold on, but I knew I really, really wanted to spend more time with the clownfish.
The clownfish seemed a little surprised by my suggestion, but immediately shook her head. "No, thank you. I think the train will be here soon."

"Is it because of her?"

"Hmm?"

"Is it because of your girlfriend? Are you really that afraid of making your girlfriend angry? Do you really love someone who enslaves you that much? Even if she wants to change partners, you'll still give in to her?"

I regretted my words as soon as I finished speaking. The clownfish's expression changed from a smile to astonishment. Her rapid-fire questions broke the rules of a conquest, stirring up trouble and leaving everyone confused.

"I...I'm sorry." I apologized immediately, but my mind was in turmoil, and any further explanation seemed inadequate. "I just think...it's too pathetic for you to continue like this. Always being led by the nose by your girlfriend...
"

*Snap!* The clownfish immediately opened the car door, grabbed her luggage, and headed towards the station. I quickly threw the gifts into the drawer next to the car, got out, and called out to her, "Wait! I'm sorry! I was wrong, I shouldn't...I shouldn't have interfered so much—"

"You're right." The clownfish's slightly nasal voice made me feel a little sorry for her. "But I just can't leave her."

"I'll help you leave her!" I blurted out, like a reckless young man experiencing first love, both confident and naive. "I can replace her and give you happiness!"

"You don't understand. Sea, you're so lucky." The clownfish's tearful appearance in the rain made me realize that there is a kind of smile that is both laughter and tears, and that such a smile is far more poignant than any dramatic display of pain.

"Don't try to understand love, because understanding love is like being addicted to drugs—you can't escape it. The pain outweighs the pleasure, yet you can't stop taking the drug." Her voice trembled, and she said in a nasal tone, "Didn't you ask me before, would you rather eat curry-flavored poop or poop-flavored curry? Now I can tell you, I'd rather eat curry-flavored poop, because I can't leave the person I love—" "

You—" I wanted to say something, but the clownfish kissed my cheek, a warm tear instantly staining my cheek, her fragrance still lingering in my nose. But in a flash, she had already run into the station ticket gates, running away without looking back. She'd rather eat curry-flavored poop because she was afraid of getting hurt.

If people must eat, then choose a kind that is delicious and appealing.

If people must fall in love, then choose a way that minimizes the risk of being hurt.

During these three days together, the clownfish didn't want to talk much about her other half. I had no way of asking;
however, from her farewell words and that tearful smile, I understood only one thing.
She wasn't happy in this relationship.

In a loving relationship, who wants to be the fool who gives more? Very few. Almost everyone hopes that their partner loves and pampers them more, but when they actually enter a romantic relationship, they find themselves on an unequal scale, unable to escape.

So, the result of continuing to give and invest is nothing more than hoping that one day the other person will reciprocate with equal love.

Because the process of investing is so painful, they unconsciously weave things to deceive themselves, to keep themselves motivated to continue.

The clownfish couldn't escape his girlfriend, and I, too, understood something.

I realized I had fallen in love with the clownfish.

Questions arise, jealousy arises—all because I'm already deeply involved, unable to extricate myself, and unaware that I've fallen into the clownfish's net.

I am the prey of love.

What an ironic outcome! The moment I discovered I had fallen in love for the first time was also the moment I experienced my first heartbreak.

Love, like death, is unpredictable, coming and going as it pleases.

Chapter Three,

a month later.

As slide after slide under the microscope changed, I was like a numb robot, buried in one pathology report after another, only occasionally lifting my head to move my aching neck, which was almost too heavy to lift.

But apart from work, when had I ever looked up at love?

The clownfish's image, her words, her every smile and frown, played like a slideshow in my mind, scene after scene. She had been so real, whispering sweet nothings in my ear, yet I had let her go, without leaving a trace, not even a hair, not a drop of honey. Like a marshmallow held in my hand, slowly melting in my mouth, soft and sweet, yet impossible to bite into. To pause these scenes even slightly, I would have to suppress myself with even more pathology reports.

After parting ways at Keelung Train Station, I frantically browsed the "囧女孩" (Jiong Girl) BBBS, for no other reason than hoping to find Clownfish again.

However, I discovered this method was completely ineffective. The ID "offer2008" never logged in again, and the only post was about exchanging partners, with the date frozen precisely the day before the date of their meeting. I wrote her several eloquent letters, but no matter how many times I checked, Clownfish's online activity seemed to have stopped, like Sleeping Beauty.

This connection was broken. I had hoped to start with Xiaobo; if I couldn't find Clownfish herself, I could at least learn from Xiaobo what kind of person Clownfish's girlfriend was, but…

"The number you dialed is not in service. Please check and dial again—"

Xiaobo had also vanished into thin air, not logging in, not using MSN, and her phone number was no longer in service, disappearing from the internet and my life.

Those three days on the Eve ship completely changed my life.

The feeling was like being used to watching color movies with sound, and then suddenly everything turned into a black and white silent film, so terribly dull that even the sound disappeared. I tried to repair my past life, went to T-bar, and went back to the Lonely forum to look for one-night stands, but apart from eating and watching movies, I couldn't even be bothered to kiss or hold hands.

It turns out that having someone in your heart, but not being able to keep them, and not being able to find them, is such a painful thing. In an instant, I understood why those who were on drugs were in so much pain, why they were like walking corpses, simply because they could no longer see that supreme and beautiful pleasure, and I could no longer see that beautiful and pitiful face...

"Xiao Ning! Stop and rest for a while!"

Just as I was agonizing over love, the director suddenly pushed open the door and handed me a paper bag, which smelled wonderful.
Looking up, I met the smiling face of the director. "I just went out for a meeting, and when I came back, I saw a new wheel cake stall that opened at the alley across from the hospital. It looked pretty good, with many flavors! So I bought a few for everyone to share! Come on, everyone, stop for a moment!" "

Thank you, Director."

I touched the steaming paper bag, pushed out the round, yellow cakes, took a bite, and the red bean filling eagerly revealed itself in large chunks.

"Ah! Mine is peanut!" My colleague sitting opposite me couldn't help but look surprised after taking a bite. "They actually have peanut-filled wheel cakes!" "

You're so ignorant. There are so many different kinds of snacks now, and the competition is fierce. I saw on the news last time that there are many different kinds of wheel cakes with different fillings!" Another colleague shook her head. I glanced at her and saw that her wheel cake, which had several bites missing, actually contained cabbage.

Compared to my colleagues' lively chatter, the sweet red bean filling melted in my mouth. The cake was baked to perfection, with a crispy outer crust and a soft interior that accentuated the sweetness of the filling. The aroma of red beans lingered on my lips and teeth. For a moment, I couldn't even smell the stench of formaldehyde from the pathology specimens soaking next to me.

Were those three days a dream? Or were those clownfish figures conjured in my imagination?

Beauty doesn't linger for me, yet I'm haunted by it, unable to eat or sleep.

Love, so bitter. Red beans, so full of longing.

After finishing the last pathology report, I found my head aching so badly I couldn't speak. Looking at the clock, I realized I was once again the most dedicated overtime worker. I took off my work coat, grabbed my bag, and prepared to go home; but was suddenly struck by a chilly gust of wind from the increasingly dark and gloomy weather. My stomach protested slightly, but I didn't want to eat those greasy bento box dishes. Remembering the wheel cakes the director bought today, I decided to walk across the alley to see what delicious flavors I could try.

As I walked into the alley, before even finding the wheel cake stall, I was greeted by a rich aroma. Looking closer, I saw a long queue of people. This newly opened wheel cake shop was unlike the usual simple vendor carts; it was specially designed. A medium-sized cart, a mix of dark green and pure white, held three large iron trays, each topped with steaming wheel cakes. Cute cartoon wheel cake characters and the words "If you're hungry, eat up!" in red popsicles were prominently displayed.

I couldn't help but smile at the owner's ingenuity. These days, giving your business a unique name is trendy without being vulgar, and it always brings a smile. Having already enjoyed some delicious red bean wheel cakes, and wanting to try something new, I started anticipating what to choose.
Finally, my hunger pangs interrupted my clownfish reverie, but the moment I stood before the stall, I froze.

"Welcome! What flavor of wheel cake would you like?"

The voice was all too familiar.

The face, no doubt.

For a split second, an old proverb came to mind: "I searched for him a thousand times in the crowd, then suddenly, turning around, I found him where the lights were dim."

Just as I was frantically searching the "囧女孩bbs" (a popular Chinese online forum), going through countless hardships and trying every subtle way to contact Clownfish, she appeared at the alleyway opposite the hospital where I work.

Although I desperately wanted to greet her immediately, with a million questions in my head, her attire, tone, and behavior reminded me of something she said on the Eve.

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