The author of the "Indulgent Youth" series is suspected to be Frost on the Ground.

page views:1 Publication date:2023-06-12 02:43:22

Memories linger, emotions run deep. This piece is dedicated to the first woman in my life.

It happened more than ten years ago, but for some reason, it feels like it just happened yesterday; everything is so clear. People say that beautiful things are fleeting, and it's true. There are many explanations for not dwelling on the past—a hero doesn't reminisce about past glories, things are in the past, why bring them up again? All are true, but I think everyone has a first love in their heart, because it truly happened and left a deep imprint on the long river of life's memories, so sweet, tinged with a touch of shyness.

"17 Years Old"—I love listening to Andy Lau's songs, especially at night, because they evoke many beautiful memories of that year. It was a pivotal turning point in my life, because that year I became a man.

17 years old, the prime of life, full of youthful vigor; 17 years old, the innocence of playing games like dropping handkerchiefs and jumping rope is gone, it's an age bordering on adulthood, an age of indulgence.

Have you ever skipped class to go to the arcade? Have you ever been punished by the teacher for not finishing your homework? Have you ever proudly and loudly told the teacher in class, "I don't know how to do this problem"? Have you ever beaten up your so-called enemy with a group of friends on the way home from school? Have you ever guessed that a girl had her first period today? Have you ever stared at the girl in front of you, thinking, "She's started wearing a bra now"? Have you ever secretly passed a note of affection to the girl you liked? Have you ever had an erection the moment you touched a girl's hand?... If not, you've definitely left many regrets on your life's trajectory.

Seventeen is the age when boys and girls dream of friendship and love, yearn for sincerity and ideals, and have a budding desire for the opposite sex's body—a turning point where they slowly move from immaturity to maturity.

If growing up means indifference and worldliness, I would rather time stand still, forever holding onto bold passion and romance.

At 17, I took the high school entrance exam. Parents considered dating at that age an unforgivable crime, a death sentence. But I couldn't control my feelings and youthful desires for the opposite sex.

Her name was Fangfang, our class's art and literature representative. In my memory, she was an innocent, cheerful, and beautiful girl, kind to everyone in the class, and always showing her clean, white teeth when she spoke. If you asked me now if I still loved her, I honestly wouldn't know how to answer. I don't even have the courage to see her now. Not for any other reason than that I want to forever remember her every smile and gesture, to etch it into my heart.

Two months before the exam, we started dating. The tense atmosphere of studying didn't interfere with our relationship. Our relationship was limited to changing seats to sit next to her and chatting, and after school, we would walk hand-in-hand along the riverbank, occasionally kissing her forehead and cheek when no one was around. Even so, whenever I was with her, I was incredibly happy. The sky was so blue, the water so clear, it felt like the world only consisted of the two of us.

After the middle school entrance exam, everything became more relaxed. We often went out on dates, and I enjoyed being with her. I remember she once asked me, "Xiaoyu, if one day I get old and ugly, will you still like me? Will you still be with me?" I don't remember how I answered her then, I really don't remember. Maybe I just don't have the courage to recall it.

Ten days after the exam, I remember it was July 3rd, I asked her to go hiking, and she was very happy. Since we didn't live in the city, we got up very early that day, brought plenty of food, and set off together.

The weather was beautiful that day, a gentle morning breeze was blowing on our faces, cool and refreshing. The clouds in the sky were quite considerate, occasionally shielding us from the sun. That day, she wore a white t-shirt, jeans, and white sneakers, and a thick black ponytail swayed back and forth, looking elegant and poised, perfectly embodying the purity of a young girl.

Carefree, we chased each other towards the summit, enjoying the tranquility of life. By the time we reached the top, it was almost noon. We were exhausted and hungry, so we sat down in a small hall to rest and eat something.

July weather is like a child's face, changing in an instant. At that moment, the sky darkened, dark clouds gathered from the northwest, and the wind blew thick clouds in. Seeing the change in weather, we lost our appetite and quickly packed up, shouldered our backpacks, and took the cable car down the mountain.

Fangfang was a little disappointed with the trip, saying unhappily, "Why did the weather change? We should have checked the forecast yesterday."

I immediately comforted her, "It's okay, we can come again another time, don't be upset."

When we reached the foot of the mountain, raindrops began to fall. While cursing the weather, I said to Fangfang, "Let's stay here tonight; we didn't bring umbrellas, we'll get soaked."

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