"My Wife is Y" reflects a wait-and-see attitude.

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(This chapter contains approximately 2140 words and will take about 3 minutes to read.)
During our casual conversation, Chen Dong repeatedly described his feelings about his first partner-swapping activity to me. However, he seemed to have no clue what to say, which precisely demonstrated his state of mind: contradictory, complex, and clueless.
In my opinion, contemporary society is an open society, and living in this society inevitably involves the impact of various ideologies. As an international metropolis, Shanghai is also subject to international influences in terms of ideology. Western sexual liberalism has had a significant impact on Shanghainese people. Chen Dong and his wife were obviously among the first to be exposed to this ideology. Of course, Awei and her boyfriend Axing were among the earliest to be exposed to it.
Objectively speaking, I am a conservative person, but I don't consider myself rigid. I always maintain a wait-and-see attitude towards social issues; I won't blindly follow, but I also won't simply deny them.
Regarding the game Chen Dong mentioned, based on my understanding back then, I thought it was a legal gray area in our country. They didn't commit bigamy, nor did they engage in any transaction, so it certainly didn't constitute prostitution. Their actions were consensual, and there was no rape.
It can be said that everything happened in a private place and was a voluntary act by the parties involved. No one forced them, and no one else was affected. I once naively thought that the law could not regulate such activities.
Of course, I now know that having sexual relations in a room with two or more people constitutes group sex, which is also a crime. A crime is a crime, and whether or not someone discovers it is not a basis for judgment.
However, if such a thing happens in a hotel, there is still a possibility of investigation. But if it happens at home and is kept strictly confidential, how can the law and the authorities possibly supervise it?
Some argue that morality exists beyond the law, but moral standards change. Just like foot binding in feudal society, what was once considered normal is now seen as an outdated custom. In the past, men and women were distinct; premarital cohabitation was out of the question, and even engagements often didn't involve meeting before marriage. Now, cohabitation before marriage is commonplace, not only socially accepted but also legally recognized as de facto marriage. There's even a new term, "non-marital community," which I've heard exists.
Having witnessed societal changes and experienced the process of moving from the unreasonable to the reasonable, I dare not say whether what exists now is reasonable, because it is very possible that as soon as I say it is unreasonable, society will accept it in the near future.
Therefore, I did not dismiss Chen Dong's words outright. I listened to what he said, and he could seek excitement according to his lifestyle, while I would continue to uphold my yearning for love according to my own.
There's no need for people to criticize others; it's good enough if you manage your own affairs well. I remember a friend saying he wasn't very capable, just trying to make ends meet. But honestly, I think a man who can say that and actually live by it is a successful man.
A man who can support his family, ensuring his parents, wife, and children are well-fed and clothed, I think that's success. But even just these things involve so much hardship; I believe every man knows.
Chen Dong is just that kind of man. He has his own company, though it's not very big. He owns a house and a car in Shanghai, but he still has to work hard to maintain this seemingly glamorous daily life.
Chen Dong told me, "Actually, I'm also very tired. I'm busy with work all day long. People are often hard to let go of what they've got. Once my standard of living goes up, it's hard to come down. But money isn't easy to earn. To maintain my current lifestyle, I have to withstand the pressure. To be honest, don't be fooled by my big house and car. To maintain these things, I've worked much harder than you. They say that you reap what you sow, but the greater the reward, the greater the effort. In fact, people are constantly driven by their own greed, constantly pursuing things. But even if you succeed, what then? So now I've come to terms with it. I'll make money when I need to, and enjoy life to the fullest when I need to. As for morality and ethics, as long as it's not illegal, I don't care about anything."
I think there are quite a few people who share Chen Dong's mentality, and their situation is indeed a challenge to marriage. It is said that marriage has a seven-year itch, and they have long passed the seven-year itch era. However, it can be seen that their relationship is very harmonious. I don't want to attribute this harmony to that game, because although I try my best to remain objective, I still subconsciously oppose that kind of lifestyle.
I think I can't accept this lifestyle. Actually, Chen Dong was also very conflicted at first. When the couple was together, he was always the one in charge, but when his wife was actually lying under another man, he could feel the pain. This pain was constant, from the initial hesitation, pain, and fear, to being overshadowed by the stimulation after it started, and after the passion faded, jealousy, guilt, and pain took over again, as well as the later slight regret. These emotions are all difficult to express clearly in words.
Chen Dong had also felt lost, wondering what he was pursuing. Was it thrills? Thrills are fleeting, but what about pain? If so, why bother? Perhaps what he was seeking was the unique and exciting emotions brought about by this complex psychological struggle? Chen Dong didn't explain this clearly, and I couldn't truly understand it either.
Chen Dong's first partner-swapping activity can be considered a success. Despite the many complex feelings he had that no one else knew about, the physical stimulation was something Chen Dong could not forget. As the saying goes, everything is difficult at the beginning, and Chen Dong had already started, so the rest would not be difficult.
Furthermore, after the first activity, Chen Dong quickly confessed to Yao Jia that he had played a threesome with Awei and Axing behind her back. As a result, Yao Jia's guilt was greatly reduced, and she became more open.
In Chen Dong's words, "It was after that incident that I realized that although my wife usually looks very ladylike, she is actually quite lewd at heart. Ever since we started playing this game, she has been completely uncontrollable."
However, Chen Dong seemed quite happy to have such a wife, and told me that he had always deeply loved her, which was truly hard to understand. Perhaps this is just the new way of thinking of urbanites.
Of course, looking back at these words many years later, I have a new understanding of making friends. I say this for two reasons. First, my mind has gradually matured, and I have a more comprehensive and rational way of thinking and judging many things. Second, as an observer, I have indeed witnessed many positive and negative cases of couples making friends over the years. Some couples have overcome the difficulties of the seven-year itch through making friends, while others have developed estrangement and suspicion because of making friends, which has even affected family stability and ultimately led to divorce.
There's no right or wrong in couples making friends; the key is how the individuals involved view and handle it. As for me personally, my attitude remains the same: I'll observe and wait.
For matters that are unfamiliar to you or beyond your control, it is wise to observe and wait.

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