Looking back on the past is unbearable.

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Some people question the authenticity of my diary, saying that these videotapes didn't exist in 1978. Actually, these videotapes existed long before, but in China, only high-ranking officials or those with overseas connections had them; they weren't commonplace. I was sent to the countryside at a state-run farm north of the Nenjiang River. At the end of 1978, I returned to my hometown of Harbin with the large influx of educated youth returning to the cities. At that time, I didn't have them; it wasn't until 1979 that I started frequently interacting with my classmates. By the autumn of 1979, some of my classmates already had these videotapes. After 1980, people selling these videotapes appeared at the entrances or in the passageways of shopping malls. They would approach you, asking if you wanted a videotape. If you did, they would take you to a secluded corner and pull a videotape from someone else's pocket to sell to you. In reality, they didn't have any videotapes on them when they approached you. That's how I bought my videotapes.

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Looking back on the past is unbearable.

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