A woman's mole - (12)

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"What would you like to drink?" Gu Xuan asked. After taking off her down jacket, she was wearing a black sweater, the kind that fit her body very well, outlining the rounded curves of her chest.
"casual."
"You always say 'whatever,' but am I really that casual?" She smiled, pursing her lips. She was still the same person she always was, and the mole on her chin was so familiar.
I rolled my eyes at her and said, "Coffee, you should have some coffee too. It's too cold, don't drink anything cold."
"Okay, then wait a moment!"
Snowflakes were falling outside the window, which made the shop quiet and not crowded. The warm air from the central air conditioning made me feel a little dizzy in the afternoon.
She returned quickly with two cups of coffee, gently pushed one towards me, rested her chin on her hand, and looked at me with a grin, saying, "I've noticed you've gained weight..."
"Oh? Really?" I touched my face and felt no change.
"Yeah, you probably can't tell by yourself."
The two cups of coffee placed between us, steaming gently, created a beautiful atmosphere on this winter afternoon.
The aroma of coffee mingled with her familiar scent, constantly assaulting my senses. The rising steam obscured my view of her, but her bright eyes, like stars at dawn, still captivated me.
"What are you looking at!" she pouted and scolded.
"Ah..." I lowered my head and took a sip of coffee, trying to hide my embarrassment. "You've lost weight..."
"My mom said the same thing," she said softly, sounding a little downcast.
After a moment of silence, I felt extremely uncomfortable, unsure of what to say. Finally, I spoke up: "Would you like to hear a story?"
"Great!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands in delight.
"A long time ago..."
"Hehe, it was a long time ago..." she said, resting her chin on her hands with a smile on her face.
I ignored him and continued, "There was a person who had parents, but from a very young age, probably since he could remember, he rarely had anyone to care for or look after him. At that time, he only knew that his parents were doing business outside, leaving early and returning late, and sometimes they were often away on business trips. For many days of the year, he was left alone at home."
"Later, I heard from my aunt that he didn't start speaking until he was three years old, and before that, he was always considered mute. Haha... When he was very young, he would play alone at home. He quickly got tired of the toys at home, and soon after, he accidentally entered his father's storage room, which was full of fun things. Hammers, chisels, screwdrivers, electric meters, copper wires, pulleys, and even a gasoline generator. He was very happy, and these things kept him entertained for a long time."
"Although his parents would sometimes stay home with him, it was very infrequent. He still remembers when he was in elementary school, his father patiently teaching him to play the violin and erhu, which were covered in dust on the wall. That period was one of the few happy memories of his childhood. Unfortunately, it seems that his father's factory went bankrupt later, leaving him with a lot of debt, and then his parents came home even less often. When he was in junior high school, he cooked his own three meals a day and slept in the deserted house at night..."
He hated strangers because he was insecure; he preferred to do things he enjoyed alone. He had few friends, and no girl even wanted to talk to him because his clothes were always dirty… Sometime later, he developed a nasal congestion, forcing him to breathe through his mouth and causing frequent nosebleeds. It wasn't until before the high school entrance exam that his condition became so severe that his teachers were alerted, and his parents took him to the hospital for a checkup. After visiting several hospitals, they discovered he had a tumor. After the exam, the tumor was removed at a hospital in Beijing. The attending physician, looking at his thin and short frame, told his parents that any further delay would have been disastrous! The tumor had been growing, constantly compressing his brain and inhibiting the secretion of growth hormone; otherwise, he wouldn't be so short at his age…
"From then on, he harbored a deep resentment towards his parents. Even before entering the operating room, he stubbornly pushed away his father who was helping him, looking at him with a cold smile... After starting high school, he boarded at his aunt's house near the school. His aunt had a beautiful cousin, and the two quickly became inseparable. He felt that his cousin was very approachable, unlike other girls who always looked down on him, so he liked to tell her many things. His aunt treated him very well, taking care of him like a mother. He no longer had to cook for himself every day, no longer had to wear dirty clothes, and no longer had to be ridiculed by his classmates."
"However, he couldn't change his inferiority complex. He became increasingly withdrawn at school, and even with the girl he had a crush on, he only dared to secretly watch her from behind, let alone confess his feelings. After the college entrance exam, he secretly applied for a student loan and found a work-study job at school. To earn money, he tutored and handed out flyers every week. In college, he met a girl, and that girl was very, very beautiful..."
I paused, feeling a bit thirsty, took a sip of coffee, and continued, head bowed, "That girl helped him hand out flyers. Knowing he rarely ate meat, she always made sure to get extra food, saying she couldn't eat that much. He wanted to refuse this concern because he's actually a very proud person, and often felt it was a form of charity. But in the end, he couldn't refuse because he felt the warmth of home. He couldn't even remember the last time his mother had served him food. The reserved and introverted boy could only keep all of this to himself, not even daring to tell the girl, 'I like you!' Until one night, a sudden downpour occurred, and he and the girl took shelter under the eaves. The girl's clothes were soaked, and she shivered. Finally, at her request, he hugged her for warmth. He was overjoyed; he felt that from that moment on, the girl was his girlfriend because they hugged. Downstairs in the dormitory, the girl waited in vain for him to say 'I like you.' Only afterward did he realize how foolish he had been..."
"Stop talking!" Gu Xuan across from me seemed to be crying, and I looked up at her.
The coffee on the table had lost its heat, and there was only a thin, transparent air between us. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and her beautiful eyes were filled with tears.
I ignored her, stirring my coffee as I continued, "During his freshman year of college, he went out with a girl and they stayed together that night. They kissed passionately, and when he was about to go inside, he suddenly became afraid and backed away. He was terrified that the warm feelings he had shared with the girl would suddenly shatter, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to protect and care for her, and he was even more afraid of something called responsibility, because he had lacked that kind of responsibility since childhood… He stupidly told the girl that he wasn't good enough for her. And so the girl left him…"
"Waaah, please stop talking!" She grabbed my hand, knocking over the cup and spilling coffee all over the table.
"I don't know, I really don't know it's like this, sob sob..." She cried so hard that curious glances came from afar.
"Don't cry, don't cry!" I patted the back of her hand and kept wiping away her tears across the coffee-covered table.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so stubborn, I shouldn't have been so angry, I... sob sob..." She kept shaking her head and biting her lower lip.
"Okay, it's all in the past. I've said everything I wanted to say, and you know everything you wanted to know. It's okay now, don't cry, it's not good if others see you crying."
"Waaah, I don't care, I just want to cry, I hate myself..." She turned her tear-streaked face to the window, frantically wiping away her tears.
After an unknown amount of time, she calmed down, her eyes red, and said, "Why didn't you tell me these things back then? Why didn't you say anything that day on the playground?"
"Which day?" I asked, puzzled.
"On the day the military training ended..." she said, lowering her head awkwardly.
"Oh, that day..." I remembered the boy who called her "Xuanxuan" and her hand that was in his.
"I don't know what to say. Seeing you holding hands with someone else hurts me... Although I have so much to say to you, in the end I can't say anything. You know I'm bad with words."
She chuckled and said, "You're really bad with words?" A moment later, she immediately pouted and said, "Yeah, I really am. Sometimes I just want to kick you a few times to vent my anger. I'm such a blockhead!"
Her tear-streaked face did not diminish her sneer in the slightest; instead, it made her look even more charming and beautiful, like a peach blossom after a downpour.
"Where...where is your girlfriend?" she suddenly asked, feigning nonchalance.
I paused for a moment, looked into her eyes, and didn't know how to answer.
"She went home too," I said, touching my nose.
"How is she?"
"Yeah, it's fine," I replied casually, then immediately asked, afraid she would bring up the topic again, "Have you guys had any get-togethers lately?"
"Yes, in a couple of days. There are still a few who haven't gone home yet. What about you?"
"Hehe, they also notified me to go, but I think I'll pass. I didn't have many friends in those years, and I would feel very uncomfortable if I went."
Her eyes welled up with tears again, as if she had remembered the story I had just told her.
I checked the time and said, "Let's go for a walk; it's too stuffy inside."
The snow was likely to fall heavily, and in a short time, a thin layer was spread on the ground that had already melted.
"It's rare to see this much snow in NJ..." Gu Xuan said, her scarf wrapped around her neck. Her black boots crunched on the snow.
"Well, it's in the South. Maybe it snowed there after we left yesterday."
"Ouch!" She slipped and grabbed my arm in a panic, almost making me fall.
After finally managing to steady themselves by holding onto a lamppost, the two looked at each other's disheveled appearance and burst into unrestrained laughter.
She didn't let go of my arm. As I walked forward, she tugged at my cotton coat sleeve like a little follower.
I stopped and said helplessly, "Aren't your hands cold? Besides, it wouldn't look good if someone saw them!"
"I don't care, I'm willing!" she pouted, then rolled her eyes and smiled sweetly, "You're right, my hands are cold, feel them if you don't believe me..."
After saying that, he took my hand, and the icy touch made me shiver involuntarily.
"Your hands are still warmer..." she said, pursing her lips.
Amidst the swirling snowflakes, I held her hand, tightening my grip, and our bodies drew closer and closer until she gently nestled into my arms, murmuring, "So warm, such a familiar scent..."

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