A woman's mole - (30)

page views:1 Publication date:2023-05-26 08:12:51

After Yan Ji left, I stood by Xuanwu Lake smoking. The noise from the train station square behind me made it impossible for me to calm down. Even so, I still didn't want to leave; I just wanted to stand there, looking at the tranquil lake. I didn't know what was wrong with me; my heart was filled with anxiety.
As desire gradually faded after Yan Ji left, all that remained was physical exhaustion, inner emptiness, and a deep sense of guilt—therefore, rather than saying that men are animals that think with their lower bodies, it is more accurate to say that men are contradictory animals.
I suddenly realized that I seemed to be back in the state I was in two years ago when I broke up with Gu Xuan. I really wanted to call her, but I hung up hurriedly when I dialed her number—I knew I was scared, I was terrified.
I realized it was because I couldn't face Gu Xuan. Even just hearing her voice made me feel ashamed and utterly humiliated.
...
"Why didn't you call me, you blockhead!" I received a call from Gu Xuan while I was reading in the library.
"Oh..." I was panicking, and I could feel my voice trembling.
"What's wrong?" she asked with concern.
"It's nothing, it's nothing. The library has air conditioning on, I might have caught a bit of a cold..." I sniffed hard, pretending to have snot.
"Okay, take good care of yourself, don't overwork yourself. By the way, you should look into schools lately, I've been looking myself..."
...
After hanging up Gu Xuan's call, I sat blankly in my chair. Gu Xuan had told me a long time ago that she wanted to study abroad and had been preparing for it.
During sex, looking into her expectant eyes, I readily agreed to go abroad with her. At her urging, I took the GRE and TOEFL in my junior year of college.
However, when that day was finally approaching, just like when I first heard she was pregnant, I was completely unprepared.
I kept telling myself, "You can do it, you still have time, you still have time! Don't you want to be with Gu Xuan forever? Then hurry up and make the most of your time."
Gu Xuan was like a mountain, pressing down on me and making it hard for me to breathe.
I had no idea how to choose a major or college, so I could only ask Professor Zeng for help. She was quite surprised by my decision, but she still gave me a lot of help and helped me figure things out.
She told me not to worry, and to ask her if I had any questions, and to look into it slowly when I got back.
...
"I met someone online during summer vacation...!" the eldest brother told me.
"Hmm?" I looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate. I knew he always liked to keep people in suspense, so I wasn't in a hurry.
"Why don't you ask if it's a man or a woman?" Sure enough, he took a puff of his cigarette and, before I could even ask him, he asked impatiently.
"..." I rolled my eyes at him and said, "Speak!"
"She's a girl, quite pretty, with a pointed chin and sexy lips!" His face was dignified and serious, so serious that I felt a little unfamiliar with him, to the point that I wanted to slap him.
"Sexy? You probably just have a big mouth. I don't know you at all!" I scoffed.
"Damn, she's naturally sexy! Just like my dream girl Angelina Jolie, those full lips, I just want to hold them and take a bite..."
Well, since his breakup before summer vacation, the eldest brother has fallen in love again. Oh, in his words, he has fallen in love again and fallen deeply in love with a girl once more.
"I have to go pick up Gu Xuan, I can't listen to your rambling anymore!" I checked the time and quickly interrupted his daydreaming.
"Are you coming back tonight? Do you need me to leave the door open for you? Hehe!" he asked with a lewd grin.
"No!"
I saw that mole on my chin again.
Like rain after a long drought, or thunder from the heavens igniting fire on the earth.
Gu Xuan and I made love endlessly in the hotel room, without ever getting tired. It seemed like we had endless sweet words to say, endless longing to express, and an insatiable desire.
During halftime, she stroked my sweaty back and said, "I want to go to America..."
"Okay, I'll go too."
"Let's work together!" she said happily.
"Okay!" I lowered my head and kissed her lips.
Senior year is a busy time for everyone. Some are busy preparing for graduate school entrance exams, some are busy looking for jobs, some are busy going abroad, and of course, everyone is busy writing their graduation thesis.
That day, I went to Professor Zeng's office to discuss my graduation thesis. When I came out of her office, I saw Yan Ji standing at the bottom of the stairs.
"You're here?" she asked with a smile.
"Yes, she's here..." I looked her over carefully and nodded.
She seemed to have lost a lot of weight, making her already slender face appear even longer.
"Want to go for a walk?" she asked, tilting her head slightly.
"Okay," I nodded.
The weather was already a bit cold in late October. A gust of wind swept up the red leaves on the ground, and one of them landed on Yan Ji's long skirt, where it was blown tightly against her by the wind.
She stretched out her slender fingers, picked up the maple leaf, held it to her eyes, and said, "So beautiful!"
I turned to look at her serious expression. The wind blew through her long hair, which danced in the air. She stood amidst the fallen red leaves, quietly gazing at the maple leaf in her hand, which trembled slightly in the wind.
There is a kind of beauty called tranquility, and tranquility to the extreme is breathtakingly beautiful.
The slender fingers loosened their grip, and the maple leaves drifted away on the wind, mingling with the fallen red leaves on the ground, indistinguishable from the rest.
"I heard you're going abroad?" she asked, looking up at me.
"Hmm, applying..." I really wanted to gather her long hair that was fluttering in the wind, but after hesitating for a moment, I gave up.
"With your girlfriend?" she asked with a smile, her red lips slightly upturned.
"Well, I don't have much hope for myself, I guess it's unlikely..." she said honestly.
"You did your best! What do you think?" She grinned, revealing two small tiger teeth.
"And you? How's your job search going?"
"We're looking for it too, but there's no news yet," she said, pursing her lips.
"Shanghai?" I asked.
"Well, he wants to stay in Shanghai..." she said with a wry smile.
"Shanghai is great..." That's all I can say.
"Let's have lunch together," I asked her.
She gave me a deep look, then lowered her gaze and said softly, "No, I have plans with someone else..."
"Well..." I felt a little disappointed, but also a little relieved. "Then I'm leaving."
"Goodbye..." She waved her left hand.
A glint of light flashed between her palms.
"A ring?" I asked, staring at her left hand.
"Yes, we just got engaged..." she said with a smile, but I could see a bitterness in her smile.
"Yes, I wish you happiness!"
...
The wind rustled the treetops overhead, and the red maple leaves swayed in the air, performing the final melody of life.
I think this should be the final piece played for Yan Ji and me—she's already married…

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A woman's mole - (30)

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