My Sexual Journey

page views:1 Publication date:2023-06-11 11:15:12

I graduated from an art academy and work at a design company. Perhaps because of my work, I've become numb to stories about men and women. I originally thought I could transcend these things, but it wasn't until I found myself deeply involved that I realized I had no ability to transcend sex at all.

She was a colleague of mine. We didn't have much interaction before; we usually just got together during lunch breaks to play cards and joke around. She was actually older than me and had a huge card addiction. Because I joined the company later, I always respectfully called her Sister Fen. She had a good figure, well-proportioned, with very full and firm breasts that were hard to look away from, especially when she lost points while playing cards. Her face, flushed from arguing, looked particularly attractive. She seemed particularly concerned about the points she lost. We were just playing casually, but she seemed so serious, always arguing with people, which was quite interesting.

Perhaps because we often played cards together, even though we weren't in the same department, I frequently received text messages from her, mostly funny ones. I would reply to her, until one time when I ran out of funny messages to reply to, so I sent her a dirty joke. Since it was the first time I'd sent her such a message, I was quite nervous, afraid she'd be angry, yet hoping she'd accept it. Maybe it was some kind of wishful thinking or flirting... I waited anxiously all afternoon, but she didn't reply, which made me very disappointed. I started to worry that I'd left a bad impression on her. It wasn't until the next day at noon when we played cards together and she was still chatting and laughing with me as usual that I finally felt relieved... During that period, I was busy with wedding preparations and had informed the company, so I was always rushing around and rarely played cards with them anymore. We saw each other much less often, and she started replying to my texts less promptly, and we began to contact each other less.

One weekend morning, I went to the company to copy some documents and happened to run into her coming out. "Sister Fen, are you on duty today?" I greeted her with a smile. "No, I just happened to be free today, so I'm taking your brother and child swimming in the sea. I haven't seen you around lately," she asked with a smile. Our company is very close to the beach, only a five-minute walk away, so the company has become our shower and changing room. "Busy with the wedding," she said, as her husband and child came out of the room after changing. Her husband was tall and strong. "This is a colleague of ours, and this is my husband," Sister Fen introduced them to us. I smiled and nodded to him. "Have a good time!"

Her child was growing up, and his beautiful big eyes easily reminded me of Sister Fen when she was young. "I really envy you two, enjoying family life like this, haha," I said with a smile. "You too? Soon you'll be like us," Sister Fen joked, but a fleeting, almost imperceptible, thoughtful look crossed her face... "Then you all have to come to my wedding!" "Definitely, definitely!" I couldn't continue chatting with them; I hurriedly copied my files, preparing for my increasingly imminent wedding... My wedding took place as scheduled. Walking hand-in-hand down the aisle with my girlfriend of many years was her wish, and also the wish of both our parents. On the shimmering beach, everyone witnessed our wedding. Filled with the joy of newlyweds, my wife and I went to Hainan for our honeymoon. Because of the tight schedule, we rushed from one tourist attraction to another like a revolving door, unable to feel any real happiness, just being swept along by the tide of people every day... It was in a hotel at the ends of the earth. My wife was taking a shower, and I was idly scrolling through my phone's text messages when I suddenly found one from her: You know what? I actually cried at your wedding that day... Cried? Did I? I tried hard to recall the scene of our wedding day, but I couldn't remember what she looked like or where she was. Why was she crying? I quickly texted her back and asked. "Nothing, I was just moved by your romantic wedding and it reminded me of my own." Aren't all weddings the same? The procedures are largely the same, only the supporting characters and content change. I wanted to ask her again what was wrong, but my wife came out of the bathroom and told me to go take a shower. I deleted all the text messages on my phone, turned it off, and went to take a shower. I was worried that she might text me again while I was showering and my wife would see it and become suspicious... With these questions in mind, we ended our short honeymoon, and everything returned to normal, settling into a routine life. My wife worked a night shift every three days, and besides my regular work, I brought home any unfinished designs to work on. For some reason, after I went back to work, I rarely saw her, and she wouldn't reply to my texts. I thought I had done something to upset her, and she was distancing herself from me. Time flies, and I gradually forgot about it while immersed in my work. Then one day, I suddenly received a text from her saying she'd been accompanying her child to an exam and hadn't had time to reply. She said it was finally over, and I asked if the exams were finished. She said not quite, because the last exam went late, so she came back first. Her husband was accompanying their child to the exam. For some reason, I suddenly had a strong urge to see her, and it felt like this was a perfect opportunity. I wondered if she felt the same way, so I tentatively asked, "Sister Fen, you've been traveling all over the world! It must be tiring. You should treat yourself." She said, "Yes, I haven't been eating or sleeping well while I'm away. I need to make it up to you when I get home." "What delicious food did you cook, sister? Maybe you could treat me too?" I said with a smile. "No problem, I'm pretty good at cooking meat. Want to come over and eat?" "Isn't it inconvenient? What if my brother comes back? How will I explain?" "He can't come back. Besides, it's just a meal. Have your wife come over too." Hearing her serious expression, I was actually tempted to go. After all, it was the first time I'd been alone with her, and I didn't know what might happen. To be on the safe side, I decided not to go yet. I sent her a text message: "She's working the night shift today. Maybe another day. Do you have a QQ number, sister? I'm bored at home alone tonight. If you're not sleepy, we can chat." I deliberately told her about my current situation to see if she would react further. Even if she didn't come, giving me her QQ number would be a significant step forward. Not long after, she sent me her QQ number via text message. I quickly added her on QQ, but she didn't come online.

Time flew by, and we still kept in touch via text message. Occasionally, we'd play cards together at lunchtime. Because of the backlog of manuscripts from our wedding, we had to work overtime, often until the wee hours of the morning – it was exhausting. That day, I sat down at my computer as usual and started working. The midnight hours were long; my wife couldn't stay up late and went to bed early. I, being a night owl, was working on my manuscript in the study when suddenly, a profile picture on my QQ lit up… I clicked on it and saw it was hers.

"Why aren't you asleep yet?"

"I'm working on a manuscript. You haven't rested either, have you?"

"Nothing to do at home, so I'm just chatting online."

"Hehe, you have a lot of friends, sister. It's so late and someone's still chatting with you. Aren't you angry, brother?"

"Him? He's often away on business trips. When he's home, he won't let me go online. He often scolds me for hiding secrets from him."

"Hehe, that shows he cares about you. Oh, by the way, sister said you cried at my wedding. Why?"

"I can't really say. Maybe it was because of the scene. Seeing your romantic wedding, I thought about my own..."

"Wasn't it similar back then? Your wedding, of course."

"It was raining when I got married, and my mother-in-law was giving me trouble."

"Really? A mother-in-law should be happy when her son gets married."

"She doesn't seem to like me very much. She always feels like I stole her son."

"Won't he stand up for you? After all, you're his wife."

"Pshaw, he listens to his mother completely and never cares about my feelings."

"Is it better now? I'll see you two being all lovey-dovey."

"Him? He's having an affair."

"Really? How did you know?"

"He left his phone at home that day, and the kid was playing with it when he found out."

"Oh dear, how could he be so careless? Haha."

"He knew I wouldn't use his phone, but he didn't expect the child to. I was so angry I was shaking, and the child felt sorry for me."

"Come on, sister, don't be angry. These things are normal now. Don't you have a lover, sister?" I asked tentatively. "No."

"Why don't you find one?" Although I felt like I was inciting her, I still asked.

"No suitable one." After a long while, she typed a line, as if she was thinking about something.

"Then what kind of person do you think would be suitable, sister?" I pressed further.

"I don't know, let's see how fate brings us together."

We both seemed to be pondering this question, and remained silent for a long time. The night seemed to freeze, so quiet you could hear each other's heartbeats… Perhaps because of the chat, the distance between us suddenly closed, and there was no longer any barrier between us. We texted each other without restraint. Afraid my wife would become suspicious if she checked the messages, I changed her name to something more masculine. My wife is quite tolerant of dirty jokes between men; after all, she's seen the moral standards of us men since we got married.

Later, I met another woman.

She was an accounting clerk at a trading company, with a very ordinary name, Hong Hong, 25 years old, 166cm tall, and 56kg. I met her in a local chat room on Sina Weibo; she had just broken up with her boyfriend a few months prior. Back then, I spent all my time at work chatting with people, both men and women. If you frequented the chat room, you'd be more familiar with the people there, and many would greet you. I also had quite a few "close" relationships with girls (close means we were very close, not necessarily sexually involved; you're probably thinking about that, right? You're all so lewd, haha).

One afternoon, near the end of the workday, I was chatting animatedly with someone in the public chat area when a girl named "A Cloud" greeted me cautiously, shyly, or at least that's what she told me later. I immediately started paying close attention to her. You have to pay close attention to newcomers, carefully choose your words, and show politeness and good manners, because maybe she's the girl for your purposes. After chatting for a while, she said she saw I was having a good time chatting with everyone, thought I was humorous and easygoing, so she greeted me. (You can use this method to pick up girls in chat rooms too! Show off what you say to others, highlight your strengths to attract attention, and maybe you'll have a romantic encounter like mine, a girl just happened to be in the right spot, haha.) She's usually quite busy, only having some free time before leaving work. She accidentally joined a Sina chat room, haha, she was a visitor. We chatted for about half an hour, which was crucial for first impressions. I fully embodied politeness, gentlemanliness, and humor (I'm so ashamed of myself, haha).

After we got to know each other, she would chat with me every afternoon before leaving work, from our initial work and impressions of the city to our later discussions about love and life. At first, I only considered her a friend, vaguely hoping something would happen between us, which is why I made an effort. They say opportunities belong to those who wait, haha. After chatting for a few months, we became close friends who could talk about anything. Of course, I would also subtly and indirectly ask her about sex, testing her trust in me and her level of sexual decency. After chatting for a while, she would confide in me like a child about everything, her joys and sorrows. I was mostly a listener, occasionally offering words of agreement and guidance. I could clearly sense her growing dependence on me and her developing feelings for me. I would also subtly express my affection for her, often showering her with slightly exaggerated compliments… In this way, we became like confidants, with a slightly ambiguous feeling… This was my goal: to prevent her from falling in love with me (because she knew I was married, and if she did, it would bring me trouble, and once she did, it would be difficult to get rid of her; I hoped for a friendly, intimate relationship, which, of course, was difficult for a conservative girl like her).

So, I remained her older brother-like friend, always the one confiding in me, while I always presented a cheerful and strong image (I guess it was an act, haha). We chatted online frequently and texted each other constantly, and I could feel the relationship heating up. One day, I had a very serious accident at work; in severe cases, I might be fired, or even face legal consequences. My usually strong self finally crumbled. I didn't contact her for several days, turning off my phone and staying offline. When the accident investigation concluded, I was finally relieved—the responsibility lay with me. After the results came out, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I wanted to share my happiness with her, so I turned on my phone and saw several text messages from her, all expressing concern. I could feel her longing in her words. Suddenly, my heart was touched…

It was a little after 8 pm. I called her directly and briefly told her I'd had an accident. She was very concerned and asked for details. I suggested we talk in person, so we arranged to meet at her apartment in the South Campus. From a distance, I couldn't see her clearly; under the streetlights, I could only make out a tall, well-proportioned figure. Up close, I could say she had a beautiful figure, but her looks were average—maybe a 75 out of 100 by my standards. Her features weren't particularly striking, but they were pleasing to the eye. What attracted me were her eyes—an indescribable feeling, a mixture of shyness, nervousness, and hidden happiness…

Because I wasn't at fault in the accident, and in my relief, I did have the despicable thought of having something happen between us. So I went to her apartment. Under her questioning, I explained the seriousness of the accident, pretending to be injured, pitiful, and dejected… gaining her sympathy and comfort. Her soft voice, her gentle reassurance, and her concern... Sitting on her single bed, I was suddenly deeply moved and wanted to hold her in my arms. Without thinking, I pulled her close, thanking her profusely for her tenderness. She seemed moved and enjoyed this warmth. She struggled a little at first, but couldn't break free, so she let me hold her, expressing gratitude, praise, and sweet words. She gave up resistance, simply nestled in my arms, saying she liked my humor, my care, and so on. Later, I

changed the subject, saying I shouldn't have acted this way, that as a married person, I shouldn't have, but we were friends, confidants, etc… In my words, I subtly reinforced the definition of our relationship: not lovers, not partners, just confidants—a kind of brainwashing, I suppose. It sounds despicable, but I was afraid that if we slept together, I wouldn't be able to shake her off.

We chatted intimately until 11 pm. I said I had to go home, thanked her, but without waiting for a reply, I cupped her face and gently kissed her forehead. Seeing no resistance, I pressed my lips against her delicate, rain-drop-like lips. She resisted and pushed me away, but not forcefully. After a few minutes, I released her from the deep kiss, watching her almost limp, her eyes brimming with tears, a truly blissful feeling welled up inside me. I stammered, "I'm sorry. Thank you." I took a deep breath, as if to calm myself, and looked deeply into her eyes, saying, "I really couldn't control myself. I'm sorry, I like you." Then, without waiting for her to speak, I slipped out the door and ran away.

Ten minutes later, I arrived home, and the text message was still the same: "I like you… I couldn't control myself… I'm sorry." Only the order was different; I believed she would understand the meaning. There was no reply from her… The next day, I didn't send a single message or go online. That evening, I sent a message: “Please forgive me, okay? I miss you. I wanted to control myself, but I couldn’t.”

The reply: “I don’t blame you… Me too…” seemed incoherent, but I knew she meant she wasn’t blaming me for my recklessness and was thinking of me too. (PS: Think about how important my initial actions were! Even a pervert can be categorized as either eager or reasonable.)

I arrived at her place, knocked on the door, and she opened it without a word. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her tenderly. I caressed her through her clothes, and although she resisted (but in the heat of passion, how much resistance can one have?), I slipped my hand inside her clothes and unhooked her bra in five seconds. When I grasped her breasts, she completely softened. Though she resisted, she couldn't stop my determination. I hadn't expected her to be so sensitive. In my excitement, I felt like I'd struck gold. Since she was sensitive, things would be easier. As my lewd hand transitioned from kneading to slowly twisting her nipples with two fingers, her hand gripped mine tightly through her clothes. She almost couldn't stand, panting and moaning: "Mmm...no, no." I pulled my hand away, wrapped it around her waist, moved her to the bedside, and pushed her onto the bed. I pressed my head against her chest, wrapped one arm around her neck, and used the other to unbutton her blouse from top to bottom. After unbuttoning the top two buttons, I took her nipple into my mouth. At that moment, I finally heard her let out a soft "ah," and her whole body tensed up and arched. As I licked and sucked her nipple, my arms tightened around her. Under the roaming of my hands and mouth, she finally couldn't withstand the burning flames of desire and let me do as I pleased...

When we were naked together, I saw her flushed cheeks, her eyes closed, her small mouth slightly open as she breathed heavily. Her breasts, which I could just grasp with one hand, were already engorged and erect. The small forest below her flat stomach wasn't lush, but the bulge of her mons pubis below the inverted triangle made my already boiling blood feel like it was on fire. Without looking closely, I pounced on her, pressing down on her lightly. My hands slipped under her armpits and wrapped around her shoulders, kissing her nose, mouth, and neck. I discovered her neck was another sensitive spot, so I didn't tease her further. I just breathed heavily and kissed her neck in her ear. My penis parted the sparse pubic hair covering her lower abdomen, teasing her full labia like digging for treasure. Her eyes were moist with passion under the light, and her legs curled and opened and closed in response to my teasing. My hard, hot penis moved up and down her wet vulva. Her closed labia made it hard for me to pinpoint the entrance; each time it seemed to reach the entrance, it would slip open. So, I said in a hoarse voice in her ear, "Baby, help me."

She was shy and nervous and refused. Helpless, I gripped my penis with one hand and vigorously moved it up and down, from her clitoris to her perineum. Soon, her breathing became interspersed with several uncontrollable moans. Her legs were tightly wrapped around my waist, and she was soaking wet down there. Her buttocks twisted and thrust upwards when I reached the entrance, unconsciously yearning for my entry. Between breaths, she groaned with dissatisfaction, "Mmm... mmm..."

I said, "Then hold it and let it in."

At this point, she could no longer restrain herself. She reached down and guided my penis to the entrance. I gently pushed, and she tensed up again. But I only pushed slightly at the entrance, entering a little before withdrawing. She immediately relaxed and let out a long breath. Then I pretended to penetrate again, and she tensed up again. After several back and forth, she finally couldn't bear it anymore and moaned, "I want it, I want it."

I said, "I won't give it to you." My penis was still gently moving in and out at the entrance.

She said, "I'm so aroused by you."

Before she finished speaking, I asked, "Really?"

Taking advantage of her distraction and thinking I wouldn't enter, I suddenly thrust all the way in. She screamed and clung to me like an octopus. Her vagina gripped my penis tightly, and the tightness made me want to ejaculate immediately. I took a deep breath, held it still, and whispered in her ear, "Baby, you're so tight."

She could only gasp for breath, unable to say anything. Her hands gripped my arms tightly, and her expression was a mix of crying, anger, and coquettishness. Her once large eyes were now narrowed to slits, her small, straight nose wrinkled with fine lines, and her full, rounded lips parted slightly, occasionally revealing the tip of her tongue.

My penis rested inside for a moment before slowly withdrawing, saying, "Baby, I'm starting now." It plunged in to its limit, then slowly withdrew, then gently thrust in again, its movements rhythmic and varied, leaving her bewildered. Her hands gripped my arms, her nails digging deep into my muscles, trembling weakly. Her pink face flushed crimson with eagerness, like a sunset glow. She wrapped her legs tightly around my waist, my hands lifting her buttocks, rising and falling with me. My strong penis thrust harder with each stroke, each stroke bringing forth sticky, lustful fluid, making the sounds like fish munching on water. I used two fingers to pry open her labia, allowing it to penetrate even deeper and more tightly. With each pull of the glans, her labia fluttered. As I thrust deeply, her labia tightened, gripping the base of my penis tightly.

My sensitive glans could feel the molten heat inside, and her vagina spasmed and twitched intermittently. I knew she was about to climax. I gripped her slender waist tightly with both hands, my eyes fixed on her smooth, creamy breasts, and thrust harder and faster. My penis, like a robber, ravaged her wet flower. She couldn't take it anymore. Finally, she shook her head, her moans growing shorter and louder, causing her body to tremble. The spasmodic contractions inside made my thrusts feel sluggish. Suddenly, her whole body hung up... She rose up, clinging tightly to me, as if she wanted to embed herself into my body…

After she calmed down a bit, I slowly started thrusting again. She gasped and moaned incessantly. At first, she could cooperate by thrusting her hips, and she climaxed again. Later, she was too weak and could only mechanically let out a soft moan from time to time. Her face, which was originally flushed, gradually turned pale and bluish. Her beautiful eyes rolled back and stared blankly. Her limbs hung limply. I was terrified and didn't know what to do. In my panic, I didn't dare to move my penis. I could only press it tightly inside her and pat her cheeks. She said weakly, "Are you stupid? Just cum."

My heart relaxed, and I felt incredibly satisfied. Then I started thrusting quickly. Suddenly, I felt a burning heat on my glans. A thick fluid gushed out from her depths like a spring, quickly wetting my glans. I held my penis firmly in place, and with a burst of energy, my semen gushed out like a fountain. Her mouth was wide open, as if she was about to shout something, but she suddenly stopped. Her hands gripped my arm tightly, her sharp nails digging deep into my muscle…

I don't know how much time passed before we recovered from our dreamlike excitement. She said in a hoarse voice, "You've really worn me out. I've never been like this before." I replied, "That's because you're sensitive. You've had three orgasms in less than half an hour." She shyly slapped me, but it wasn't very strong. She reached out and hugged me tightly again… (Later I learned that she had only had sex twice before, and from her awkwardness, I knew it was true).

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