You are my lover

page views:1 Publication date:2023-06-11 11:02:10

Let me introduce myself first. I don't need to mention my name; you can use any of them, like Zhang San or Li Si. My name isn't
important, and I'm too lazy to choose one myself anyway, and I haven't found one I like. First, let me clarify that I'm a woman
, and I don't want to reveal my age—you know, age is a private matter for women like me. I'll just tell
you that my daughter is in the third grade of elementary school; my husband works in the power sector, and I'm
an accountant at a company.

Life is generally quite ordinary. My child is older now, so I don't have to worry about her; she goes to her maternal grandparents' house after school. My husband
is almost never around; he drinks and gambles after work. I'm too lazy to control him, and I can't control him anyway. As long as he
gives me money every month, at least enough for me and my daughter. My job is relatively easy; when a few women
get together , it's mostly shopping, buying clothes, getting beauty treatments, dieting, and eating out. Since my daughter got a little older, and my husband
developed a leg problem, I'm often alone at home. It's a bit lonely, but after a while, I don't really care anymore.

Until that day, my husband bought a computer, and my life completely changed. When he first brought it home
, I scolded him, asking why he bought it when I didn't know how to use it. But once I started, I was hooked. After work, I
'd skip immediately turn on the computer and log onto QQ. I didn't know anything else, just a little typing I'd learned from a friend
. Once I learned, I couldn't put it down; I became more and more addicted each day. If I didn't go online and chat with my online friends, I felt like
something was missing. When my husband saw me chatting online at home, he'd laugh at me, saying, "You type so slowly, who's going to chat with you
?" But I knew he was more at ease because whenever he called, I was online at home, putting aside all my social interactions, which
made him feel reassured.

I was already immersed in this enjoyment, chatting with a few online friends about random things. I have a rather
stubborn personality, even a bit feisty. Since people say I type slowly, I practiced typing every day. It turns out that when you're interested,
you learn really fast. Gradually, I was able to chat with several online friends simultaneously. I even learned how to download songs, and
we chatted aimlessly while listening to them. Then, a netizen entered my field of vision. "Are you really that gentle?"
Unlike other netizens who would ask my age right after meeting me, he asked directly. Oh, because my
online name is "Gentle as Water."

We chatted casually, but his words gave me a novel feeling; I sensed he was special.
He didn't say much, but he always conveyed his thoughts in unexpected ways. I looked at his profile: a 23-year-old
student. His online name was an English name, which I couldn't understand—a long string of characters whose meaning I had no idea. I usually
don't like chatting with netizens who have English names, but tonight we chatted until midnight.

I see him online every day, which is strange and surprising. When I asked, I learned he was cramming English and
Japanese at home, things completely new and incomprehensible to me. He had just graduated from university but hadn't looked for
a job; instead, he was studying foreign languages and taking some kind of certification exam. He spends all his time online, sometimes chatting with foreigners
to practice his listening skills, sometimes downloading foreign language materials. I don't understand any of this, but I really admire him. He calls
me "sister" very affectionately. Once, we had a voice chat, and his magnetic voice, full of youthful energy,
immediately captivated me. He sent me his photo—a handsome young man with long, flowing hair
, a high nose bridge, and thin, resolute lips. He called me affectionately and showed me great concern; I felt
a warmth I'd never felt before.

Online, I'm very gentle, not just pretending. Although in real life I'm more outspoken
. Having this little brother online makes me feel less lonely. He makes a point of spending time with me every night,
saying things to make me laugh and sending me some of my favorite songs. That day he said he'd taken some new photos, and I immediately
said I wanted to see them. He hesitated, "They're not online? Then send them to me." We live in cities
very close to each other, and I received the photos just three days later. He looked radiant and handsome in the pictures, like a sun-kissed man. He
asked me what I thought, and I said he was very handsome. "But I haven't seen you yet," he said, a hint of grievance in his voice. "But I don't have any photos online
," I said, "then send me some too." I searched through my photo album but
couldn't find any I liked, so I kept putting it off. He gave me his phone number, saying I could call him if he wasn't online. I wanted to call him several times, but I held back
. I just memorized the number.

That day, my work unit had business in that city, and I was asked to go. I got there in just over ten minutes
, finished my business, and wandered around the streets. Suddenly, I wanted to call him. I dialed and heard a series of beeps,
but no one answered . Just as I was about to hang up, that familiar voice came through. "Hello, big sister." "You knew it was me?" "There
's caller ID on the screen. Why did you think of calling me?" "I'm in B City. I had some work to do at the office
." "Where are you? Can I come see you?" His voice was warm and cheerful.

"I...I'm at the Bank of China Tower." "Okay. I'll be right there."

As the person in the photo walked closer to me, my heart pounded . I felt
a mix of excitement and unease. "Is...is it big sister?" "Yes, you came so fast." I looked into his eyes,
which made me feel very uncomfortable. I brushed my hair with my hand.

"Big sister, you're so beautiful." He was flattering me. "Are you making fun of me?" I thought to myself, feeling secretly pleased.
Standing on the street, I felt like everyone was staring at me. I saw a restaurant not far ahead. "Let's
go there." It was almost noon. Eating something there would help me avoid the crowds. Although not many people
knew me here, I still didn't want to be exposed on the street.

He was as attentive and caring as he was online, diligently pouring me water and telling me to order my favorite dishes. He ordered
a bottle of wine and poured it into my drink without asking my opinion. I quickly stopped him, saying, "I don't drink , I
've never drunk anything before." "It's beer, how about a bottle of red wine?" I didn't know what he was thinking. Did he want to get me
drunk, but it didn't seem like it. While eating, I fiddled with my glass, barely touching my food. "Cheers!" He raised his glass,
looking me intently. I panicked under his gaze… "I... I don't want to drink." "Just a little bit, okay?" Reluctantly , I
raised my glass and, under his watchful gaze, frowned as I drank it down. The beer was cool, neither spicy nor bitter.
I wondered when I'd started drinking.

His eyes remained fixed on me. I checked my clothes, wondering if something was wrong. That day…
I was wearing a light blue dress with red flowers, and brown sandals. Nothing
seemed wrong, but he still stared at me like that. "What are you looking at? Eat up." "Where to go after you finish?" I hesitated
. Where could I go? I didn't want to stay outside, but where was a suitable place?
"It's so hot outside, come to my house with me." His house? I wouldn't go.
What would I say if I ran into one of his people?

After he finished eating and stood up, I was still lingering in my chair. He slid his hand off my shoulder and
wrapped it around my waist. What was he doing? I gently pushed his hand away, not wanting him to think I was a frivolous woman. But
the warmth of his large hand lingered on my body. His hand reached out again and grabbed
my small hand. "Come home with me." "I don't… what would I do at your house?"

His eyes were fixed on me, full of passion, and I even felt a surge of desire. I quickly lowered my head.

"Come on, I'll take you somewhere, but you have to treat." Before I could say anything, he lifted me up
, and I felt his hand touch my breast. A jolt of electricity made my face flush. Outside
, I pushed away his hands that tried to wrap around me, and quickly paid the bill. He tried to pay, but I stopped him. He didn't have
a job or income; it was better for me to pay.

I hailed a taxi, "Dihao." I didn't know where Dihao was, so I just followed him. Before
I could even get a good look at the place, I was led into a private room. It turned out to be a KTV bar,
luxuriously decorated with soft lighting, pale yellow accents, and a red carpet, giving me an ambiguous and seductive
feeling. But I was already there, so I figured I might as well check it out.

I ordered some snacks and a few beers, and the door was tightly closed. He turned on the stereo, and his cheerful
voice filled the air. As the song "I Dedicate This Lover to My Dear Sister" played, his voice sounded mature and
powerful. He asked me to sing, but I had absolutely no courage. Luckily, he didn't force me, and one popular
song after another flowed from his lips. "Little Waves, Silk Cat, Blossoming Branches..." these were all songs I had told him I loved to listen to.
He held a wine glass in one hand and a microphone in the other with effortless grace. All I could do was keep refilling his glass and listen sweetly to
his songs. As he sang, his eyes betrayed a burning passion and desire. Under his gaze,
even the cool breeze from the air conditioner couldn't dispel the heat within me.

He sat down beside me, singing, his thigh pressed against mine. I shifted slightly, and he leaned
closer, singing, "Loving you is like a mouse loving rice..." This close contact made me very
uneasy. Watching his lips move as he sang, I felt like rice being stared at by a mouse. Yet, my heart was
filled with sweetness. Suddenly, his lips pressed against mine. I tried to dodge, but I was already at the edge of the sofa, my body
leaning back, and his lips caught me. This position made my chest stand even higher, pressed against his chest.
Warm? Comfortable? I was already a little dizzy. His lips were fiery and wild, his tongue relentlessly attacking my
teeth. Finally, I couldn't resist and he slipped inside me. How many years had it been since we
last kissed? Probably since we had our daughter; my husband hadn't visited me even once. The kiss felt so wonderful, just like so many years ago.
I was immediately overwhelmed by this breathless kiss, my head spinning. My mind wandered off somewhere, suddenly...
Suddenly , I lightly bit his tongue. He cried out softly as I bit him, pulling away from my face. I could
see him clearly again, and I saw his eyes filled with burning desire. His sudden attack left me unsure
whether to feel pleasure, excitement, or panic. Although he had jokingly kissed me online, making my heart flutter, I still felt
a surge of excitement.

"I love you." "Loving you..." he continued the song. I panicked, at a loss. Before I knew it,
he had tightly embraced me. He was no longer rough; his gentle hands caressed my body, from my back to
my waist, even... I dared not meet his eyes. I knew he was staring at me intently, afraid of being
melted by the heat in his eyes, but hadn't I already melted? An untimely itch
and a wetness came from below. His mouth no longer attacked my lips, but moved towards my eyes, nose, face, and even my ears,
making me feel a cool wetness wherever he touched. My earlobes were tickled by his mouth,
and I couldn't help but twist my body, letting out soft moans.

My breasts were covered by his palms, and his fingers began to knead them restlessly. It felt so uncomfortable
yet so good. I tried to resist him, but he held me tightly, and the more I moved, the itchier I felt.
His hands easily slipped under my clothes. His hands were so big and magical, caressing my breasts alternately.
His touch sent waves of desire through my body. I felt incredibly thirsty, but my womanly reserve forced me
to verbally refuse him. "No... ah, don't..." I writhed, trying to
stop his advances, but all my strength vanished, replaced by an overwhelming surge of desire.

His hands were so brazen, not only touching me but also trying to remove my clothes. I struggled helplessly,
my full breasts suddenly exposed to the air. The cool sensation of the air was immediately covered by his face
. He took my nipple in his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and sucking on it. How had my nipples become so sensitive?
He quickly
even more, my skirt slipped down to my lower body, revealing my lace panties. I couldn't
withstand his onslaught; his relentless stimulation made me grab his shoulders. I bit my lip lightly,
letting out suppressed moans. My breasts were being ravaged by him, my nipples being brutally trampled. His hands and mouth
continued to attack my soft spots, and I felt my whole body go limp.

Sighing inwardly, my body was enjoying the pleasure. He had already taken off his shirt, and
glistening beads of sweat seeped from his full skin. My hands touched it, the intense sensation making me unwilling to give up,
and I even began to slowly caress it. My uncontrollable moans amplified his desire even more. He pulled down my last piece of
clothing, which barely covered my private parts. I became frightened, "No...no...don't..." My legs
struggled forcefully, but they seemed so useless in his hands. I straightened my upper body to stop him, though the fire of desire burned within me.
I was ignited, but a sliver of clarity within me prevented me from continuing. I wasn't prepared for this.

I faced him, my full breasts prominently displayed, my eyes filled with unwavering resolve. "No...don't
do this, " I finally uttered the most useless words, "Okay?" His lips moved but he didn't speak
, instead sealing my mouth with a kiss. I wanted to speak, but the words wouldn't come out. My chest
pressed against his broad chest, the intimate physical contact overwhelming me. My breasts were flattened by his
embrace, my nipples rubbed. I was dazed, my mouth involuntarily responding to his kisses. Standing
there, my skirt slipped down to the floor, leaving me only in a narrow pair of panties, which
were even transparent.

His mouth was on my lips, but his hands began to attack my sensitive body. At that moment, my entire body seemed to
become sensitive again, melting wherever he touched. His hand slipped inside my panties, across my pubic area
, until it reached that secret place. Ah. I cried out from deep in my throat as his fingers roamed over my already
soaked area, one already penetrating inside, a finger inserted into my body.
It was so itchy down there; the entry of his finger undoubtedly brought me much comfort. But as his fingers teased, the itchy spots felt good
, while the areas that weren't itchy became itchy, even spreading throughout my entire body. I felt that finger thrusting in and out of my wet
hole , gentle yet arousing. But the fingers outside were rubbing against my clitoris, a deadly stimulation.
I moaned continuously, my heart racing, my breasts aching, my whole body becoming uncontrollably wanton.

I closed my eyes, enduring his assault, or rather, enjoying a stimulation I had never experienced before.
Comfort, unease, suppression, panic, and orgasms came one after another… Did I have an orgasm? I really couldn't say, but that feeling
had completely surrendered my body to him; I didn't even know when my underwear had left my body. He
pressed me down on the sofa; damn it, how could this sofa be so wide?

Something incredibly hard pressed against my vagina, like a steel spear. My opening,
empty from the lack of stimulation from my fingers, was now incredibly tempting. I wanted to welcome him in, yet I
was also afraid. But I was powerless to control anything. His body thrust downwards,
instantly filling my wet, slippery vagina completely. It felt so good, so satisfying. I forgot everything; my mind was filled with
the swelling of desire. Waves of lust crashed against my heart with each thrust of his body.
"Ah...ah..." I couldn't help but cry out, devoid of restraint, pretense, and shyness, only boundless desire
and frenzied indulgence.

I don't know how long that feeling lasted, it just felt like an eternity. My mind was blank;
only the fullness in my lower body and the kneading of my breasts made me aware of my own physical existence. I don't know if this feeling was something I'd longed for
or something that only came with having it. His movements and caresses stirred my emotions
, and finally, in a series of rapid thrusts, I erupted. A surge of heat washed over me,
so hot and intense, and I couldn't help but hold him tightly in my arms.

After getting dressed, the disappointment that followed the passion immediately followed. Although my face was still flushed, my heart
was filled with a mix of inexplicable emotions.

Back home, I showered for an hour. The water washed
away all my guilt and shame, and I finally rinsed myself with cold water before lying down in bed, feeling groggy.
I stroked his smooth skin, the intense stimulation taking me back to that frenzied moment until I slowly drifted off to
sleep.

I didn't go online for several days, but I couldn't resist any longer. He had left many messages, and after I finished reading them, his avatar
started flashing again. He didn't apologize, but he said many caring things, thinking I was sick and worried sick about
not seeing me. My emotions finally calmed down, and I refused to talk about that day, but I couldn't
stop thinking about it. What's wrong with me?

He kept saying when we'd see each other again. I knew what the outcome would be. But my mind was racing
. After he said it countless times, I finally met him again. This time we stayed in a hotel. In that quiet
environment, I ignited the fire of desire amidst the guilt and panic, until I was completely immersed in it. That day I indulged
myself a lot; being with him was joyful, although I didn't know how long the joy would last. He was still so gentle
and considerate, yet so fierce and wild. I was completely overwhelmed by his various attacks, and he brought me
to the peak of desire time and time again. He no longer cared, saying all sorts of explicit things. Oh God, I'm completely defeated
. I never knew I could be so wanton in front of him. I gave my whole heart to a
guy several years younger than me, and yet he makes me so promiscuous.

I don't know why, but I just can't resist him. I waver between desire and despair. I've woken up from nightmares many times
. I don't know how I'll face this. Desire is so hard to satisfy. Just when it seems to subside, a new
desire arises. I love my home, I love my husband, my children, and him. What should I do? I constantly
ask myself this question, burning myself out in the face of new desires.

You are my lover, but you can't be my lover. You are my lover, only
a lover who appears in my dreams. I'd rather keep this as a dream until I wake up.

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