After having sex in the car, we became strangers.

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

Three years ago, after graduating from a university in Hainan, I worked as a clerk in a company in Haikou. The company was located in a 20-story office building on Binhai Avenue, where smartly dressed white-collar men and women came and went every day. Among these people, I felt like an ugly duckling, earning a meager salary and doing mundane tasks like organizing documents and fetching water.

The company dormitory was in the Haijingwan Garden community in Haikou. At that time, the person who influenced me the most was my roommate, Cheng Yan—a Sichuan girl seven years older than me, beautiful, feisty, and capable.

She excelled at her job and had a rich and colorful life outside of work. Every night, men would ask her out for dinner and dancing. Sometimes, she would openly flirt with men in front of me on the phone.

I was introverted and had almost no social circle of my own. Sometimes, before going out at night, Cheng Yan would joke with me, saying, "Xiaolei, what are you always doing staying at home? Go out and find a man to date, don't waste your precious youth!" I would blush at her words, but over time, a longing began to grow in my heart.

My encounter with Zhou Feng was purely accidental. That morning, on my way to work, Cheng Yan, another female colleague, and I had just stepped into the elevator when he caught up from behind. Cheng Yan, as a prank, pressed the close button, but luckily I reacted quickly and pressed the button to open it just as it was about to close. He walked in, glanced at us, and the three of us lowered our heads, trying not to laugh. He, however, remained silent, his expression calm.

He stood beside me, less than 30 centimeters away, wearing a sharp suit, tall and with clean, sharp features—a man of imposing stature.

As he stepped out of the elevator, he suddenly turned around, smiled slightly, and said to me, "You pressed that button, didn't you, little girl!" My face flushed instantly.

That's how I met Zhou Feng. Later, I learned from colleagues that he was the vice president of an advertising company. 35 years old, from Beijing. Everyone in that building knew him except me. He drove a white Honda, and I knew he had a family and a mistress…

For some reason, even knowing that a man like Zhou Feng wouldn't care about an ordinary girl like me, I still felt a strange sense of anticipation every time I went up in the elevator—a hope of running into him again.

I even considered going to his company to find him, but I couldn't find a reasonable excuse. Looking back now, if I fell in love with him, it started from that day. Several months passed in this strange anticipation and lingering pain.

By then, I had become Cheng Yan's sidekick. Like her, I wore light makeup and business attire to work every day, and in the evenings, I would occasionally wear a sundress and leisurely visit cafes and bars.

Our favorite bar was the Yaweixi Bar on Haidian Island, where the bar girls would affectionately call me "Jiangxi Girl" (my hometown is in Jiangxi).

I never imagined that one night, I would actually run into Zhou Feng at that bar. That night, around 10 o'clock, Cheng Yan had another appointment, leaving me alone at the bar. Just as I was about to leave, a man sat down next to me. "Little girl, do you remember me?" In the dim light, I saw the face I had silently studied for half a year.

I felt a surge of joy, but also an inexplicable nervousness. So, I drank with him, unsure of what to say. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't the one who played the prank that day.

But was it necessary? Perhaps I should let him misunderstand. Whether it was the person or the alcohol, my vision gradually became blurry. Later, I heard him lean close to my ear and say, "Little girl, let me take you home." I nodded, feeling a little intoxicated.

I obediently got into his white Honda. Then, the car drove through the night, eventually stopping at the entrance of the residential area. I hesitated for a moment, just about to get out, when Zhou Feng suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me into his arms.

Everything happened silently. He first kissed my lips very carefully, and then his actions became passionate.
He almost put one arm around me while restarting the car, which slowly drove away from the neighborhood.

A dozen minutes later, the car stopped by the sea, and I could faintly hear the sea breeze whistling past my ears. Zhou Feng frantically pulled me into the back seat. His hands slid down my smooth back, and the sensations that followed were a mixture of hunger and apprehension.

My body gradually grew hot… Even now, recalling that night still feels unreal.

That cramped space, the hurried and passionate embrace, the stinging, the burning—everything was completely different from the physical intimacy I had imagined with the man I loved. That night, his effortless skill made me feel like a lamb, completely under his control, unable to escape from the very beginning.

I didn't get back to my dorm until the early hours of the morning. Because it was the first time I'd been late, Cheng Yan jokingly asked if I'd gone on a date. She said, "If you know there's no future, don't take it seriously. Taking it will only hurt you." I understood what she meant. But a sliver of hope remained:
I didn't want to be just a passerby in his dark night.

A few days later, on my way to work, I ran into Zhou Feng. His car stopped near my side of the road, and across the green belt, he waved to me from the window: "Little girl, want a ride?" His expression was relaxed and natural, as if nothing had happened. I froze, shaking my head at him. His car

drove quite a distance, but my expression remained frozen. At that moment, I was very clear-headed. Between him and me, regardless of our status or background, there was no possibility of anything more.

And everything that happened between us that night, in his eyes, could only be defined as a one-night stand, with neither of us having to take responsibility.

But things turned out completely unexpectedly. More than a month later, I noticed a change in my appetite, and my period was also long overdue. I began to feel restless.

After a hospital checkup, I confirmed that I was pregnant. On the way home, I was distraught, a fear I had never felt before filling my heart. Finally, I called him in tears and told him.

Zhou Feng's first reaction was surprise. Then, amidst my intermittent sobs, he gradually calmed down. He said, "Little girl, don't be afraid, I'll take you to the hospital."

To avoid running into acquaintances, Zhou Feng took me to a secluded private clinic in the prefecture. Because the abortion was past its expiration date, I went into the operating room. Lying in that simple, gloomy room, I felt excruciating pain… This terrifying experience haunted my dreams countless times afterward. Each time, it sent chills down my spine.

Leaving the hospital and getting into Zhou Feng's white Honda, my tears flowed uncontrollably. I couldn't explain the meaning of those tears—were they for love, for him, or for the little life that had died?

Perhaps none of them. I was just pitying myself; those tears were only for self-comfort.
On the way back, Zhou Feng remained silent. The sun wasn't bright, but he wore sunglasses, so I couldn't see his expression. As we were getting out of the car, he took my hand and said, "Little girl, take a day off and rest for a couple of days!"
We were practically strangers

that night. I collapsed into Cheng Yan's arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Cheng Yan sighed and said to me, "Xiao Lei, don't be sad... let it all pass."

Yes, let it all pass. For Zhou Feng, everything was in the past. But for me, only time had passed; what remained was the eternal pain in my heart and body.

A few weeks later, one day after work, I saw Zhou Feng's Honda downstairs at the company, and at the same time, I saw a young and charming woman sitting in the passenger seat.

I thought, that woman must be Zhou Feng's rumored lover. I turned my gaze away, pretending to be calm as I walked past his car, but a sharp pain pierced my heart.

More than two years passed, and I eventually left that company. I remember seeing Zhou Feng again downstairs in the building before I left, but this time he no longer called me "little girl." He just nodded indifferently and walked past me. We had become complete strangers.

[The End]

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After having sex in the car, we became strangers.

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