Old Man Mai's Romantic Fortune

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

Old Man Mai Xiande is almost fifty. Before retiring, he was a cadre in the township government and village office. In recent years, with constant personnel
changes and massive layoffs in government agencies, he retired early a year ago according to policy and moved to the city to live with his eldest son.
His eldest son, Mai Guozhong, works in a department of the municipal government as a civil servant. His wife, Liu Lan, is a
gynecologist at the city hospital. Old Man Mai helps with housework and takes his grandson to and from school every day, so he has a relatively leisurely life .
However, after a while, he feels uneasy. Although he is almost fifty, he is in good spirits and very healthy, after all, he
comes from a farming background. He told his son that he wanted to find some work, otherwise he would get bored. Guozhong is a filial son and couldn't refuse
his father, so he agreed to help him find something.
These past few days, he heard from a colleague that a district committee needed someone. Thinking that his father had worked in the township government
for many years, he thought it shouldn't be a problem. Sure enough, as soon as he contacted them, they agreed.
On his first day at work, Old Man Mai dressed exceptionally smartly. Having spent many years in the "political world," the
work was second nature to him, so he wasn't nervous at all. The district committee was small, with only a few offices and
about a dozen people. The district head, Huang Mingfu, was forty-five years old, a bit overweight, slightly balding, and
a cigarette maker. The branch secretary was a woman named Zhang Yuehe, in her thirties, slender and graceful, with
her hair styled in a bun, lightly made up, and dignified. Zhang Yuehe warmly and politely introduced Old Man Mai to the district committee
and his specific duties. Old Man Mai noticed that the female branch secretary was voluptuous, with high breasts that strained her white
suit , long, full legs encased in black stockings, and black high-heeled shoes.
Zhang Yuehe showed Old Man Mai around the various departments of the district committee and introduced him to his colleagues.
Old Mai followed behind her, listening to her introduction. He saw Zhang Yuehe's round, plump buttocks; her two fleshy buttocks swayed
with her walk, and he could vaguely see the outline of her thong under her skirt.
The alluring scent of the female Party Secretary wafted from ahead, and Old Mai felt his genitals involuntarily swell.
The district committee also had positions such as general affairs officer, cashier, clerk, and staff. Besides Zhang Yuehe, there were three or four other
women.
Old Mai was most impressed by two of them: Tao Jing, a thirty-year-old female cadre and secretary of the district committee,
looked like a fashionable white-collar woman with a model-like, alluring figure, clearly someone who paid attention to her diet and
exercise . The other was the accountant, Qin Yuzhen, a beautiful woman in her forties, mature and voluptuous, exuding charm.
Although she was over forty, she was very well-maintained, with fair and delicate skin without a single wrinkle. Looking at her watery almond-shaped eyes and full red lips,
Old knew she was a woman with a strong sex drive.
Since starting work at the district committee, Old Mai's life has become more fulfilling, and he's met more and more people. Actually, Old
Mai has never truly accepted his age. Although he's almost fifty, he still maintains a strong physique, with dark, well-
defined muscles. In the town's annual basketball tournament, he can play a full game against men in their twenties.
Physiologically, he knows he still has a strong sex drive, but unfortunately, he's
been essentially sexually inactive for several years. His wife passed away before him due to illness. During the day, he can
numb , but at night, those most primal human desires torment his mind and
body time and time again. Recalling the passion he shared with his wife in his youth intensifies his pain, and he can only helplessly extinguish the burning
desire through masturbation. His desires have been suppressed year after year, and he doesn't know how much longer he can endure it. Since starting work at
the district committee , the several glamorous and mature women in the unit have become the objects of his fantasies, especially the female Party branch secretary
, Zhang Yuehe. Beautiful, generous, dignified, and elegant, she possessed admirable work ability and leadership skills; in Lao Mai's
eyes was practically a perfect woman. Sometimes, he even felt inexplicably jealous of Zhang Yuehe's husband, He Kai.
What good deeds had he done in his past life to have such a beautiful woman as his wife, enjoying
her stunning beauty every night, while he himself could only suffer such torment? Why was the world so unfair? He
often imagined Zhang Yuehe and her husband making love—the noble and dignified Party branch secretary stripped naked, lying face down
like a female dog, her round buttocks raised, a man's penis thrusting in and out of her plump,
white buttocks, creating waves of flesh, the penis reaching her cervix, the beautiful Party branch secretary frowning and moaning incessantly—it was in such
fantasies that he released the desires pent up within him. Two months passed in the blink
of an eye. Old Mai had basically adapted to the environment and gained a better understanding
of everyone and the work of the district committee. That day, Old Mai went to work as usual. Upon entering, he found several offices empty. He then noticed everyone had crowded into the finance office. Curious, Old Mai went in to see what was going on. He learned it was payroll time, and everyone was excitedly checking their payroll with accountant Qin Yuzhen and bombarding her with questions. Old Mai noticed Qin Yuzhen's alluring appearance and her mature figure, which made the men's mouths water. Seeing the chaotic crowd, Old Mai thought he might as well take advantage of the situation and squeezed in as well. After finally squeezing his way to the back of Qin Yuzhen, Lao Mai pretended to want to look at the payroll and leaned forward, getting close enough to Qin Yuzhen 's ear to smell a woman's perfume-scented scent. He couldn't help but feel excited, deeply inhaling this long-unseen fragrance of the opposite sex while pressing his already swollen lower body against Qin Yuzhen's plump buttocks, feeling the softness of her buttocks. Because of the crowd and the chaos, Qin Yuzhen didn't notice anything, busy with more than ten people asking her questions. Lao Mai secretly unzipped his pants, his hard penis pressing against the woman's opening and closing buttocks through her flesh-colored stockings and underwear, rubbing back and forth. Qin Yuzhen's buttocks were plump and fleshy, very soft . Lao Mai enjoyed these exquisite buttocks, his breathing becoming a little rapid. Slowly, Qin Yuzhen felt the strangeness behind her; her woman's senses told her what was happening, but she didn't flinch, letting the lewdness from behind continue. She continued her work calmly, feeling the hardness of the man's penis below her, while trying to guess who this man who was sexually harassing her was. She had worked here for many years and knew everyone inside and out. Entering her prime, her sexual needs were growing stronger every day, but her husband, several years , had long since entered menopause and couldn't satisfy her sexually. Being sexually harassed in this setting was, in fact, a novel kind of excitement for her. She pretended to be looking for someone, turned around and called out, then recognized him.

It turned out to be the new guy, Old Mai. She couldn't help but curse inwardly, "That old geezer, always acting so serious, turns out
he's just a lecherous old man." Qin Yuzhen continued her work as if nothing had happened. Soon everyone dispersed,
and Old Mai left with them. Only then did Qin Yuzhen notice Old Mai, finding him to be a strong,
muscular man with a tanned, healthy glow. Thinking of the penis that had been pressed against her buttocks earlier, Qin Yuzhen
felt this man still had a lot of energy. Staring blankly at Old Mai's departing figure, she even fantasized about
what it would feel like to have it inside her, and the thought made her ears burn. Old Mai had left a good impression on her; at least he was
much better than her useless husband. In the district committee, there was another old man named Huang Xinmin, about the same age as Lao Mai. Everyone called him Uncle Huang. He was responsible for guarding the gate,
receiving and sending newspapers and mail, and doing some chores like cleaning. Perhaps because they were of similar age, Lao Mai quickly became familiar with him. Uncle Huang had worked in the district committee for a long time and knew a lot, so Lao Mai often chatted with him to learn about the situation. The two got along very well and gradually became confidants. But Lao Mai always felt that Uncle Huang was very shrewd and unfathomable . Uncle Huang had several close elderly friends, and Lao Mai often went for morning exercise with them. When they had free time, they would play cards, chat, play chess, and drink tea together . Men always talk about women when they get together, and these old guys nearing seventy were no exception. As time went on, they became more familiar with each other and gradually started telling dirty jokes. Since these old men generally had lost sexual interest in their spouses or, like Old Mai, were alone, their way of venting was mostly to gather together and talk about obscene topics. Some would watch pornography, some would secretly visit prostitutes, or they would comment on the beautiful women passing by on the street, talking about their romantic escapades and strange tales from their youth. One of them, a retired doctor in his sixties named Hu Jingxian, was a complete hypocrite. Once he started talking about he would become incredibly talkative. He was most proud of how much he had profited from women during his medical career. Hu Jingxian majored in internal medicine, so he could treat many illnesses. He mentioned that in the past, many companies required physical examinations for recruitment, and he often served as the examining doctor. Because it was a general physical examination and there were no gender restrictions, he could perform physical examinations on many young women who came to apply for jobs. The most routine examinations included listening to their heart rhythm and checking their liver, heart, and lungs. He would usually adopt a very serious and solemn demeanor, wearing a stethoscope. He would first have the young women who came to him lie on a table covered with a white sheet, casually telling them to relax and take deep breaths. Then he would insert the stethoscope into their shirts, slowly locating their heart, which was very close to their breasts. He would usually pretend not to hear clearly and tap their breasts with his hands. The women were all wearing bras, and after locating the location, he would insert the stethoscope into their bras. At this point, the women being examined would generally show expressions of tension and shame, some even blushing. Those ten seconds felt like an eternity to them. They waited anxiously, hoping it would end quickly. Most of the women were being examined by a man for the first time , which made them even more nervous. The doctor wearing a hat and mask actually reduced their shame. Hu Jingxian continued, saying that if they encountered a female worker who was prettier or had a fuller bust, they would first push up her bra, place the stethoscope against the base of her breast, listen to the left side, then the right, and then pull the bra down, giving them ample opportunity to touch her breasts. Crucially, the women felt even more ashamed at this point, and admiring their expressions gave them a sense of conquest and manipulation. Sometimes they would be asked to unbutton their blouses, and the stethoscope would be inserted through the neckline, allowing them to see the women's cleavage and various bras, and to observe the rise and fall of their chests as they breathed. Almost none of the examinees objected excessively, because most people rarely underwent such examinations , and they were unsure if others were examined in this manner. Hu Jingxian smiled and said to the group of dumbfounded old men, "As long as you're bold enough and don't go too far, those women will never resist. Because at this time, doctors have a lot of power. If the doctor says no, all hope is lost, so they can only endure it. If it's a good company like a bank, there will be more applicants for the physical examination, the competition will be fiercer, and the physical examination will be stricter. At this time, they can do whatever they want . Checking the liver is a common part of all physical examinations. Usually, they are made to lie down with their legs bent, their waistbands loosened, and take deep breaths. Because the liver area is very close to the pelvis, you can see the woman's bulging mound. Sometimes, in order to accurately locate the liver, you have to pull their waistbands down a little, so you can see all kinds of pantyhose, stockings, underwear, and sometimes even some pubic hair. It's really unbearable. While massaging the liver area, you can also admire the woman's fair abdomen and sexy navel." Hu Jingxian took a sip of tea and continued his story. Every year, schools and workplaces organize numerous physical examinations, especially for college entrance exams. He can examine many 18- or 19-year-old female students. These students are younger and less worldly than the young women recruited for jobs, so he can be a bit bolder with them. For example, he can pinch their newly developed breasts, claiming to check for lumps. When examining the liver, he can take the opportunity to press their already protruding pubic mounds. Some girls who develop quickly are not much different from adult women; their pubic mounds are swollen and protruding like small hills, except that their pubic hair is still soft. A man named Old Lu swallowed hard and couldn't help but ask Hu Jingxian, "Dr. Hu, which department in the hospital regularly performs examinations for women?" Hu Jingxian glared at him, clearly annoyed at being interrupted, and said, " Of course 's gynecology! Although I've never worked in gynecology, I know what's going on there. Women often go to gynecology first for many illnesses, and most of them request their husbands to perform the examinations. If it's a male doctor, some would rather not have the examination done and come back later. So, gynecology is usually staffed with female doctors. However, gynecology can only treat a few . There are many diseases that gynecology cannot treat; you have to go to a specialized outpatient clinic." " You have to see a doctor. For example, you wouldn't go to the gynecologist for the most common cold or fever." Hu Jingxian glanced smugly at the old men around him. "I used to work in the dermatology and venereology department, where you could meet a lot of women." He deliberately lowered his voice. "Because there are many skin diseases, and many people are prone to them. And many women get these diseases because they are related to their genitals, so they usually have to be examined." He pointed to his crotch and continued, "Back then, I would examine eight or ten women every day because I was a chief physician. At that time, there were only two chief physicians in the dermatology department, and I was charged at the specialist clinic rate. When I encountered some rare or..."

When it comes to difficult cases, general practitioners have to consult with the chief physician before prescribing medication. Actually, seeing a chief physician only
costs about ten yuan more, and most people wouldn't mind such a small amount. That's why I always have a huge stack of calendars with
appointment slips in front of me; people have to queue, sometimes not even getting an appointment in the morning, and have to come back in the afternoon. In fact,
doctors have absolute control over the patient's appointment; you can be more thorough and responsible, or you can be more lenient if you're in a bad mood.”
He noticed the old men around him were gradually losing interest in his boasting and quickly changed the subject.
“If it's a male patient, I'll see him faster. If it's a pretty young woman, I'll be more patient and
arrange for her to have a physical examination in addition to the initial consultation. Don't think that only physical examinations are fun; you know, observation, questioning,
auscultation, and palpation—each has its own unique pleasure.” Old
Mai mingled among the old men, silently listening to Hu Jingxian's endless stream of rambling thoughts . He was almost envious of this thin, frail doctor, even weaker than the patients. "I usually start by asking about their symptoms. Many women suspect they have a sexually transmitted disease because of some unusual symptoms . At this point, they usually become very anxious and keep talking. Some women are more reserved or shy and will feel embarrassed when asked some private questions. Most of the women who come to see me are urban white-collar workers; there are very few from the countryside. I guess it's because cities are more open-minded, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." Hu Jingxian glanced at Old Man Mai in the corner and actually sneered inwardly. He looked down on Old Man Mai; although he was physically strong, he had a rustic, earthy smell about him. Another man, Lao Peng, urged Hu Jingxian, "Tell me quickly how you examine those women, I can't wait any longer—" Hu Jingxian smiled and said, "Don't rush, I'll tell you slowly. The physical examination is done in a separate room , just the doctor and the patient. After asking about the symptoms, the doctor takes the patient there, closes the door, and draws a white screen. Once everything is ready, the doctor signals the female patient to undress. The women are a bit slow, but everything has to be done according to procedure. Watching these women undress is practically an art. With shy expressions, they slowly unbutton their clothes and slowly take them off in front of a strange man. The examination room is isolated from the outside world and very quiet ; you can hear the undressing." The rustling sounds and the two women's breathing created a peculiar atmosphere. At this moment, you could boldly observe the women's behavior and their various body parts, because they dared not look directly at the doctor, trying their best to avoid his blatant visual lewdness. After removing their tops and skirts and hanging them on the hooks of the screen, the women were left with only bras, panties, flesh-colored transparent stockings, and high-heeled shoes. Just thinking about that scene would be unbearable, wouldn't it, Lao Peng? Haha—" Lao Peng said, "Indeed, I can't stand it. I'm already hard, damn it!" Uncle Huang laughed from the side, "Back then, Lao Hu had to go to work with a hard-on all day long, didn't he? Haha—" His words caused a burst of laughter from the crowd. "That's true. I got hard the moment I entered the examination room and didn't come out until the end. If I wasn't wearing that baggy white coat, I'd be pitching a tent in front of everyone!" Hu Jingxian laughed, adding, "Women are most helpless at this time. They have to do whatever the doctor says. Most of the women who go in for examinations suspect they have a sexually transmitted disease and are very worried. If you exaggerate a bit during the consultation and scare them, creating a sense of vulnerability in their minds, their thinking and behavior will become irrational and controlled by the doctor. Plus, suddenly entering the examination room, a space completely isolated from the outside world, further increases..." This heightened their sense of helplessness. When they were left their underwear, bras, and stockings, their shame intensified their helplessness, leaving them completely disoriented. They would only move when the doctor touched them, utterly disoriented. "At this point, you can admire the women's plump buttocks encased in their narrow panties and the high, swollen mounds of flesh on their front. Some women's panties are almost completely transparent, revealing what's inside. Some women have particularly thick and abundant pubic hair, which will peek out from the edges of their panties, making your blood boil." Hu Jingxian gestured animatedly, as if those women were standing right in front of him, awaiting his examination. "At this point, the women become particularly awkward, unsure whether to stand or sit, fidgeting and instinctively covering their genitals with their hands , waiting for the doctor's next instructions. You can have her stand while you examine her, or you can have her lie down on the table; most of the time, you'll be examining her genitals. You can have her take off her underwear herself, or simply pull it off for her. Although the woman will likely resist, you should act very professional and meticulous, making her feel that you are simply doing your job and have no ulterior motives. If she resists, it will only make it seem like she's the one with impure thoughts and is immature." "Oh, I see!" Old Peng nodded in sudden understanding. "You doctors are really something!" Hu Jingxian continued, "If the woman is lying down, pull her underwear down to the back of her thighs. Usually, you don't need to take off her stockings. Then have her pull one leg out, and the underwear hangs on the back of the other leg. This is the most uncomfortable and shameful moment for a woman. Her two thighs are spread apart in a lewd manner, and the contrast between her snow-white thighs and thick black hair is striking. Coupled with the embellishment of flesh-colored transparent stockings, no one who sees this can resist!" The crowd listened attentively, and many old men made envious and admiring "tsk tsk" sounds. "Some women have exceptionally thick downy hair, which can extend to the inner thighs, and down to the anus, past the perineum . When they realize this physical characteristic, they are all filled with shame. Some women have very large vulvas and well-developed clitorises. When you touch them intentionally or unintentionally, they will tremble involuntarily. After touching them a few times, you can see vaginal fluid flowing out." More people began to nod, their faces flushed, imagining those flower petals flowing with honey-like fluid trembling lustfully before them. "Some people come for checkups because they have some unusual growths on their genitals that they have never seen before. They grow in clusters like cauliflower, and in severe cases, they have turned into ulcers. They look really scary. No wonder those women are so afraid when they talk about their symptoms. I saw one once and couldn't eat anything." Hu Jingxian had been practicing medicine for many years, and he didn't care whether others understood the symptoms he was talking about. He just kept talking. "Most of these diseases are sexually transmitted infections, contracted through contact with others, such as at public swimming pools or through unprotected sex. Therefore, during the examination, I also inquire about their daily habits, such as whether they have recently had sexual intercourse with unfamiliar men and whether they have used condoms. If I notice that their labia minora are everted and dark in color, I can conclude that this woman has been sexually active recently. At this point, I can ask her if she had intercourse last night; nine times out of ten, it's her..."

Blushing, he whispered that he had. He paused, "At this point, it's important to use medical terminology to make the examination seem more serious .
You can also ask her how many times a week she has sex, how many times a night, and how long each time lasts. Because many women are infected with STDs by their
husbands have been unfaithful,
so there's a theoretical basis for asking this. Of course, these women would be ashamed to confess their bedroom secrets to others, but they
still have to tell the truth in order to get better.
Of course, some will answer as tactfully and subtly as possible, while others will answer hesitantly."
"Have you ever encountered a woman who was menstruating?" Old Lu interjected.
"Rarely," Hu Jingxian laughed, "I've never encountered one. Most women avoid
coming for examinations during those days. Besides, you can't really figure out what's wrong with them then!"
"Then have you ever masturbated while getting your examination?" Old Peng asked with a smile.
"Of course, you can't neglect yourself when you meet a hot woman." Hu Jingxian grinned mischievously. "Once I
saw a young woman, beautiful, with a good temperament and big breasts. She was a civil servant in a government department.
This slut was quite knowledgeable; she probably went to the gynecologist often, unlike other women who would do whatever she was told.
I asked her to take off her clothes, but she said it was just a genital exam and there was no need to take off her top. Of course, I couldn't force her, so I didn't get to see her
big breasts. I asked her to take off her skirt, but she said it wasn't necessary, just to lift the hem. It seemed she came prepared
. I knew she was a troublesome one." Hu Jingxian swallowed, "But that slut was undeniably beautiful
; I only meet a few a month. I thought I had to get my hands on her to vent my frustration." "The old men around
got excited when they heard this, and a few even rubbed their hands together.
"That slut had vulvar itching, and because she scratched too much, she had varying degrees of
inflammation around her perineum and anus,"
Hu Jingxian gestured. "She said she didn't want to lie on the table and asked if she could be examined standing up. I immediately got angry and
said very rudely, 'If you don't want to see me, go back. Don't waste my time. There are
many !' Hearing me say that, she didn't dare to say anything more. She reluctantly took off
her high heels and climbed onto the long table, slowly pulling her skirt up to her waist. I saw that she was wearing a pair of high-quality
lace panties, and light gray sheer stockings wrapped around her full and slender thighs. The lace at the top of the stockings was embedded in her fleshy
groin. I waited for her to slowly take off her panties, then reached out and stroked her sheer stockings, gently
opening her tightly closed legs." The crowd held their breath, unusually quiet.
"I then reassured her, telling her not to be too nervous, that it was just a simple examination. After some
communication , she gradually relaxed. Her mons pubis was beautiful, with black, curly hair neatly distributed
on her plump petals. I began my examination, first using my hands to part her thick labia. I deliberately got very close,
and under the bright light, every fold of the young woman's mons pubis was clearly visible. I could also smell the
strong, fishy scent emanating from her petals. My cock was about to burst through my pants." Everyone burst into laughter.
"The young woman endured it helplessly. I parted her labia with my hands and immediately saw the tender, moist vaginal flesh
writhing. I dug out the fresh petals with my fingers, and the young woman immediately let out an annoying moan,
clearly her labia were very sensitive. Actually, her clitoris was perfectly normal and there was no disease; I was deliberately teasing her. I
repeatedly plucked at her labia minora, and thick nectar began to gush out, soon her vulva became
wet . The fresh pink mucous membrane, stained with vaginal fluid, glistened under the light, very sexy." Hu Jingxian
licked his dry lips.
"I knew her perineum and anus were the ailments, but it was difficult to examine them while she was lying down, so I had her turn over and
lie face down. Her face immediately turned bright red, clearly this position reminded her of something, but
at this point there was no room for negotiation. When she embarrassedly turned over and knelt on the platform, her plump,
snow-white buttocks were sticking out in front of me, and my penis instantly became extremely hard, the head of my penis even
hurting against my pants."
Hu Jingxian's eyes shot out a bewildered look, "I suppressed my extreme excitement and pretended to be
calm, gesturing for her to lower her upper body and raise her buttocks. This beautiful young woman had no choice but to stick out her round buttocks
even higher.
In the bright light, I could see the fleshy opening hidden deep in the cleft of her buttocks. I pressed my hand on the two plump, white flesh and
spread them apart.
The young woman twisted her buttocks slightly, her fleshy opening was dark brown, tightly closed, with some light downy
hair . It was so amazing to be able to admire this beautiful woman's fleshy opening so closely! I secretly put my penis..." I let my penis
out because the young woman had her back to me and couldn't see what I was doing. I rubbed her feet together for a while;
the soft, smooth feel of the stockings was really nice. Then I secretly took her panties, wrapped them around my penis, and
masturbated until I ejaculated on them. I quickly wiped away the semen with a white cloth from the table,
leaving a trace. You know, women's panties are often wet with their own secretions, so she wouldn't
notice what I left on them. "
Everyone couldn't stand it anymore. Old Lu said, "Old Hu, you're really lucky with women. If I had known, I would have
taken the doctor's exam when I was young and could have treated pretty women. And those nurses in the hospital are pretty slutty too; I want to fuck every
single one ."
Uncle Huang said, "Old Hu, you've worked in the hospital for so many years, have you ever slept with female doctors or nurses?"
Hu Jingxian took a sip of tea and said, "Of course I did when I was young, but these past few years I've gotten old and can only watch others do it,
hehe—" He gave a bitter smile and didn't say anything more.
"Let me tell you a story. I actually quite like those female doctors and nurses," Old Lu said.
"When I go to the hospital for my appointments and those pretty nurses give me injections, seeing them in their white nurse uniforms makes
my dick I deliberately show them my dick, making those young nurses so embarrassed,
hehe—" Everyone burst into laughter.
"But some of the older ones aren't shy, probably because they've seen it all before. Once I went to see a doctor for hemorrhoids, and there happened
to be a female doctor on duty, in her thirties. Although she wasn't very pretty, she had a great figure, and I just wanted to fuck her. Before, when
I went to see a doctor, it was always men who examined me. What woman would want to see an old bone like me, hehe—"
Everyone burst into laughter again. Hu Jingxian actually started listening to him with great interest.
"However, she happened to be the only one on duty that day, so she couldn't refuse even if she wanted to. The thought of having a female doctor
give me a rectal exam was fucking exciting, my dick even got hard. The female doctor looked very reluctant,
but she had no choice but to do it. She put on a mask and rubber gloves, and as soon as I took off my pants, my
dick was already unruly standing up, a towering pillar pressed against my stomach. I was so fucking embarrassed." The crowd
finally burst into laughter.

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