foreign friends

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

After graduation, my boyfriend and I came to Shenzhen. I work at a car company as an advertising designer, belonging to the marketing department. Friends in Shenzhen might remember the 7th China Hi-Tech Fair Auto Show last year. As a member of the company's marketing department, I naturally had to attend. There were many foreigners at that auto show. To be honest, my English is only at the CET-4 level, not very good, but I can manage daily conversations. There, I met Max. That day, I was at the booth as usual, and he came over to ask me about the cars. I explained them to him enthusiastically, and he gave me his business card and then asked for my phone number.

About a week after the auto show, I received a call from him. He asked for my email address, which I gave him, and then asked for our company address. After that, he visited us a few more times to look at cars. That's how we became acquainted. One Saturday, he called to ask if I wanted to visit him teaching (he is a teacher who sometimes teaches in Shenzhen and sometimes at a primary school). My initial thought was: having a foreigner as a friend is actually quite nice; I can also learn more English, build up my confidence, and maybe it will make changing jobs easier in the future (because I had only graduated for half a year at that time). (I admit I was really vain back then; I even bragged about meeting a foreigner to my college classmates on QQ for quite a while). So I went to his class at Shenzhen University, which was quite good, and it made me even more impressed with him. The students were all very nice to him, and they would surround him with questions after class.

He took me out for coffee, and after that, I went home. Throughout the whole process, I felt he was a very nice person, and when we were together speaking English, the people around us would look at me with envy. I believe everyone has seen American movies, and his image is similar to that of the black people in them. However, in my eyes, all black people look the same.

In December, due to a job transfer, I left the car company. I was in a bad mood during that time and didn't really want to look for a job because it was almost Chinese New Year, and jobs weren't easy to find. So, under these circumstances, I would go out whenever Max asked me out. He was always very nice to me. We would go to Sea World in Nanshan to listen to people sing and see the sea view. I had a boyfriend at the time, and he knew I had a Black friend. He didn't object to us going out together. He probably thought I would be bored and in a bad mood if I stayed home alone, so he wanted me to go out and relax (my boyfriend is really good to me; he would rush home to see me as soon as he got off work, and I would stay home whenever he was home). They had also met and had coffee together. Everyone got along well.

Once, we (and other friends) went to Shekou, and since his home was there, we all went too. This time, nothing happened.

The second time, I was looking for a job. I didn't have a computer at home, but he did. After he found out I was submitting resumes online, he told me he had a computer at home and I could submit my resume there. Looking back, it was just submitting a few resumes; there was no need to go to his house. But I did go.

He cooked for me, taught me some English, showed me some DV videos he filmed at his home in the US, and I submitted some resumes. Everything went smoothly, and everyone was happy. When I left, he even gave me a hug and a kiss. He even said, "(You will always be my best friend) You are my best friend forever!" Although I felt awkward at first, I thought that the differences between our two countries might not seem like much to others, so I didn't think much of it.

I've been looking for a job for almost a month, but I have no clue what to do. I'm not in a good mood, and I haven't contacted Max for a long time. That day, I was having an interview in Shekou. After the interview was almost over, Max called me and said he made some kind of fried rice from his hometown and asked if I wanted to come over and try it. Since I hadn't had anything good at his house before, and I hadn't seen him in a long time, I went over. He was very welcoming. After we ate, we sat on the sofa and chatted, looking up unfamiliar words in the dictionary. Suddenly, he took out his phone and said he wanted to show me a picture. I looked at it for a long time but couldn't figure out what it was. Then I realized it was his penis. I felt very awkward and my face burned. He said he took the picture that morning and asked me if it was big or not. My stomach started hurting again at that moment. I felt terrible and said I had to go back. He said, "Why are you leaving so soon? We haven't seen each other in so long."

He left so quickly; we hadn't seen each other in so long. He even asked me about work. I stood up, grabbed my shirt, and was about to leave when he suddenly grabbed me and frantically pressed his mouth against my face. At that moment, my stomach was really hurting, and I felt like vomiting. He was much taller than me; holding me was as easy as holding a doll.

In my memory, if a woman resists and refuses to submit, the man rarely succeeds in raping her. So, that was my belief at the time, especially since I was wearing jeans.

I struggled desperately with my hands and feet, but he couldn't hurt me at all. He carried me to the bedroom—or rather, threw me onto the bed—and I immediately got up. Although I screamed for help, no one knocked on the door. This is probably a tragedy of Shenzhen; everyone is only concerned with self-preservation, and no one will stand up for what's right.

Believing that he couldn't do anything to me if I refused to submit, I struggled desperately, but I was wrong.
Perhaps seeing how hard I struggled... He pinned my hands to the bed with both of his. My legs were tightly pressed together so he couldn't take off my pants. Unexpectedly, he forcibly spread my legs, pressing one leg against the other with his knee! You can imagine how much pain my legs were in. The pain made me involuntarily open my legs. His knees were pressing on my calves, it hurt so much. I didn't feel anything else at the time, just the pain in my legs and hands!

I kept shouting for him to stop, or I would call the police, but he seemed not to understand. After he stripped me naked, I was covered in bruises, my legs felt like they were about to break. He hugged me and kissed me. By then, I had no strength left to resist, and my voice was hoarse. At first, he couldn't penetrate me, maybe because I was too small and his was too big, or maybe something else. Also, my stomach felt like it was cramping, it was very uncomfortable.

I tried to tell him not to press down on my hands and feet, I said I wouldn't move, and he slowly released me. I noticed a large area of bruises and red marks on my hands.

Later, I was much more obedient because I didn't want to suffer any more harm, because I knew he wouldn't let me go no matter what. I just let him do whatever he wanted while crying. When he couldn't penetrate me, he licked me with his mouth for a while, probably trying to wet me so it would be easier to go in. I was fully conscious when it was done; I was very obedient, I didn't move or resist, but it still caused my vagina to tear! After it was over, I couldn't get up and could only lie down. My hands were fine, but my legs were the main problem. You can try having someone gently press down on your legs with their knees to see how badly my legs were injured in that situation. Although my legs hurt, my hands hurt, and my lower body hurt, I still tried my best to get dressed. He was lying next to me with his eyes closed. After I got dressed, he got up, carried me to the bathroom, and took off all my clothes.

At that point, I was beyond despair and felt like I was at his mercy, so I let him do whatever he wanted. He put my clothes aside, washed my whole body with water, and then carried me to the bed in the bedroom and started cleaning the bed. I stared at him intently, only thinking about calling the police as soon as possible to arrest him and put him in jail for life!

I don't know if he was a repeat offender or what, but he even washed my things, including my clothes (I think he put them in the washing machine). I couldn't find my phone (my bag was in the living room, and going out was impossible at that time), and I couldn't leave, so I had to stay there. That period was really, really hard. Every minute felt like a year. From morning (around 11 a.m.) to night, it must have been about ten hours. He wouldn't let me leave, and he ignored my injuries. I told him several times that I wanted to go home, but he wouldn't let me, saying I should rest first. At night (I don't remember what time), he came close again, but this time he didn't do anything. He just kept saying he liked me, asking me to be his girlfriend, and saying that having sex with me was very exciting. Then he started hitting me. When he tried to go back in, he seemed to notice a lot of blood, so he stopped. Then he helped me get dressed and carried me to the hospital. His house was very close to Nanshan Hospital.

After the rape, I went home and stayed there for six months. During that time, I frantically researched and read books, trying to find a way to escape, while simultaneously telling my family I was preparing for graduate school entrance exams and asking them not to disturb me. However, after six months, the feeling of being unable to speak out or confide in them made me run away from home. I decided to get back up where I fell, and so I came to Shenzhen. I didn't see a psychologist, but I read many books on psychology. Almost a year has passed, and if I still don't have the courage to face it, then I'll never be able to. During my time in Shenzhen, I retraced my steps, but I never confronted the people and events of the past. There was a period when I felt like my heart was about to explode. I knew I shouldn't bury these feelings inside; only by speaking out could I find some relief.

[The End]

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