Never again be a crowded bus driver!

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The location is a bus stop in the High-tech Zone, and the time is 6:15 PM. Exhausted, I often take the bus here, but I've never actually gotten on (referencing Fan Yichen's "Releasing Animals").
Looking back, for over two years, I've almost never taken a single bus to or from work. The worst part is, it's like a scorpion dropping its droppings—unique and unpredictable. Every time a bus arrives, it's packed to the brim, while two other buses of people stand waiting anxiously at the bus stop. So, I've sighed countless times, and the result is that my leg muscles have become quite developed.
But then, being a bit of a jerk, I suddenly decided, "I refuse to believe I can't take a bus even once!" I secretly vowed, "If I don't get on, I won't go back!" Finally, a "black" (a large, crowded) bus arrived, and then I realized, damn it, everyone here is like Liu Xiang (a famous Chinese hurdler)! The sheer number of passengers was like tigers descending a mountain, or a tidal wave! I wouldn't give up either; after all, I served in the military, so let's go! Thankfully, this beat-up ticket landed me in the last seat, but I was immediately plunged into utter embarrassment! One foot on the ground, the other dangling in the air, left hand on the beam, right hand gripping the door handle, back pressed tightly against the door – I looked like Hou Yi shooting down the sun! Oh well, I guess I'll have to make do! Just as I was internally lamenting the traffic situation, the bus suddenly braked sharply, and I heard the driver curse in authentic Shaanxi dialect: "You motherfucker, you don't want to live anymore!" Before I could even process the rich expression and emotions conveyed by those few words, I suddenly felt a dark shadow in front of me, followed by two soft lumps rushing towards me! Yes, that's right, due to the inertia of the sudden braking, they rushed towards me! I was so embarrassed; my face instantly turned as red as a monkey's butt! But the worst part was that those two lumps showed no sign of receding, and I didn't have much room to turn my head... I was thinking: to remain so full under such intense pressure for so long, what kind of n-shaped breasts must they be (so wicked!)? I remained anxiously waiting until the next stop. Finally, someone got off, and I quickly and swiftly took two steps, making a graceful turn, turning from a horizontal bar to a parallel bar. Oh my god, it felt so good to be on solid ground! In front of me was a rather pretty woman, and I was about to admire her when I immediately had a problem: two people got off, and six got on! So the tragedy continued. The girl in front of me was pushed back, and I had nowhere to retreat (my butt was almost touching the person behind her)! This case is already quite close, and finally, my certain part was pressed against by the woman's certain part, growing stronger day by day (to be honest, I'm the kind of person who has the desire but not the courage; today I was truly forced into it!).

The driver must have watched too many racing movies; he was driving like a dragon and a phoenix, the people on the bus were sometimes in a line, sometimes in a figure eight, and I helplessly began to be subjected to "car sex" (number of times omitted). I kept thinking, "I can't do this, I can't do this," but I just couldn't move. I tried to pull myself back a bit, but I've never practiced the Nine Yin Manual (a martial arts technique for martial arts), yet the feeling was getting better and better—it was so frustrating! Who can understand this feeling? I'm such a bad guy! But I've been educated by the Party for many years and have seen a lot, so I quickly scanned the other people on the bus to try and distract them! Look at their expressions—some were full of worry, some were glaring angrily, some had furrowed brows, some were expressionless, and oh my, there was even a girl who was being jostled around but was actually laughing? I really couldn't understand it. Had she eaten some kind of legendary bee droppings? This sudden change was surprisingly effective; it made things much easier, and my initial excitement quietly faded. I had to admire my own courage! Hahaha~~ Time passed in my self-admiration, and I finally arrived at my destination, "safely." Only then did I realize how sore my arms and legs were. I couldn't help but look up to the sky and exclaim: "Damn, these days, even taking the bus is physically demanding!" I secretly resolved: "I'll ruin my legs and never be a bus addict again!" Over!

[The End]

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Never again be a crowded bus driver!

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