A true love experience from over a decade ago, filled with infatuation and confusion.

page views:1 Publication date:2022-01-16

This post was last edited by mwangi on 2018-02-27 at 03:41.
This is a true story from over a decade ago, one of the happiest and most unforgettable memories of my life, yet also one of lifelong regrets. I've recorded these memories, and the parts involving sex are the most profound. It's precisely this part that I cannot share with anyone who knows me. Therefore, I'm posting this record online; I truly don't want such beautiful things to fade away with time. This article is dedicated to my fleeting love and to all the girls who have had intimate encounters in my life.
This is a story from over a decade ago. The female protagonist is named Ling Shuang, my colleague. Four months after I joined that company, Shuang'er and I first crossed paths due to work. Unfortunately, when I met her, she was already married and had just returned from her honeymoon. At that time, I also had a girlfriend of five years, who is now my wife. From the first time I saw Shuang'er, I started paying attention to her. Although I knew she was married, I still decided to give it a try. One time, a few of us colleagues went out together, and Shuang'er happened to be sitting next to me. When no one was looking, I secretly grabbed Shuang'er's hand. Shuang'er tried to shake me off, but I held on tightly. Because there were colleagues on the bus, she couldn't be too forceful, and she was worried about being seen, so she had no choice but to let me lead her by the hand to our destination. That day was the 16th day since I met Shuang'er, and we started dating that night. Shuang'er also liked me, but she was worried that I was just playing around with her. Therefore, when she was with me, she allowed me to do anything for her, but she never let me touch her breasts, and of course, she refused to sleep with me. Initially, I only wanted her body, but as we spent more time together, our relationship grew increasingly intimate. We always had so much to talk about, and I gradually realized I had fallen completely in love with her and couldn't live without her. Looking back, my relationship with Shuang'er was essentially one where I desperately wanted her body, and Shuang'er desperately wanted my heart. In the end, we both got what we wanted, gaining pleasure but also a lifetime of pain. It took me almost seven months for Shuang'er to agree to have sex with me.
The story begins on the day Shuang'er and I officially went from being best friends to lovers.
The hotel doorbell rang, and I quickly opened the door. It was Shuang'er who entered. She was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and a silk scarf. Although her attire was simple, she looked beautiful and charming. As soon as Shuang'er entered the room, I hugged her tightly and pressed my lips to her face. Shuang'er smiled sweetly and naturally met my kiss, and we kissed deeply. We didn't say a word, nor did we hesitate at all. I immediately started to unbutton Shuang'er's shirt. She didn't resist at all; instead, she cooperated by taking off her outer garment herself. Of course, I quickly unhooked her bra from behind. This was the first time Shuang'er's breasts were fully exposed to my eyes. They were two round, full breasts, slightly larger than I had imagined, with a firm and natural shape. Combined with her slender and graceful figure, they perfectly showcased the beautiful curves of a woman. I had spent more than half a year waiting, and now I could finally enjoy these treasures to my heart's content. They were so soft and smooth, so irresistible. My hands lingered on Shuang'er's chest, unwilling to let go. However, my lower body was already engorged and throbbing, and I couldn't wait a moment longer to enter Shuang'er's body. So I quickly took off my clothes, and Shuang'er cooperated by taking off the only pair of trousers and underwear she was wearing. It was truly the most beautiful body I had ever seen in my life. Below her full breasts was a flat and smooth abdomen, without an ounce of fat. Her waist was slender, her hips were small but pert, and her legs were straight and long, with just the right thickness. Her whole body looked very well-proportioned. Shuang'er then told me that she was going to take a shower first and asked me to wait for her. I immediately said, "Then let's shower together." Shuang'er said no. I said again, "Then let's not shower, let's shower after we're done." Shuang'er laughed and said, "Look how impatient you are." I kept insisting on showering with her, so Shuang'er pretended to be a little serious and said, "No, you just wait for me to come out, and don't sneak in, or I'll get angry." Seeing that she was so determined, I couldn't force her, so I just lay on the bed and waited for her.
After taking a bath, Shuang'er emerged wrapped in a towel. Her skin was fair, and the towel draped just above her breasts, partially revealing them—a natural beauty, like a lotus emerging from clear water, unadorned. Seeing my goddess so alluring, my desire ignited instantly. I pushed Shuang'er down onto the bed, ripped off the towel, and eagerly pounced on her sexy body. Shuang'er's skin was delicate and smooth, a thin layer covering her soft flesh. Because of her small frame, although she appeared slender, she felt incredibly soft and smooth to the touch; no part of her body had any jarring bone structure. What I loved most were her breasts; their texture was as soft as water, easily changing shape with a gentle squeeze. Because her breasts were constantly protected by a bra, the skin on them was thinner and more delicate than the rest of her body. I couldn't resist repeatedly kneading them with my hands and burying my face in them to nibble. Yet, their extremely delicate beauty also made me incredibly tender and reluctant to be too rough. I savored every inch of Shuang'er's body, from her slender shoulders, over her full breasts, down to her smooth abdomen, and finally to her genitals. Shuang'er's pubic hair wasn't sparse, forming a thin triangle that covered her mons pubis, soft and neat. Her labia majora were very thin, their color similar to the surrounding skin, only slightly darker. I pried them apart with my thumb, revealing labia minora of the same color. The slightly parted vaginal opening revealed a pale pink interior—Shuang'er's vaginal walls, lighter in color than other girls'. My most beloved woman's private parts were so close, the place I longed to enter day and night. I leaned in, wanting to taste the goddess's flower bud, but Shuang'er seemed to sense my plan. She shyly pushed my head away, playfully calling out, "Piggy, come in." I was eager to continue savoring her private parts, but I was already burning with desire, my lower body painfully swollen, so I abandoned the idea. Because of this decision, I never properly admired Shuang'er's genitals again, leaving a regret.
这时我返回到霜儿的脸旁，吻了吻她的脸，用轻柔的语气赞美道：霜儿，你好美啊。接着，我一手扶住自己坚硬的肉棒，令一只手的大拇指把霜儿的一边阴唇掰开，把龟头对准中间的缝隙，准备往里面插了。这时霜儿问了我一句，猪猪，你是真的爱我吗我回答道，宝贝，难道你到现在还怀疑我对你的爱吗霜儿没再说话，接下来一切都水到渠成。我稍一用力，就把龟头塞进了两片大阴唇之间，霜儿的阴道被我撑开了。霜儿激动地叫唤了一声，我忙关切地问，宝贝，是不是我弄疼你了。霜儿摇了摇头，我这才发觉霜儿脸上呈现的是一种享受的表情，原来是我进入的时候那种舒服的感觉刺激到她了，没想到霜儿的身体如此敏感。我继续前进，整个阴茎顺利地进入了她的身体。和我交往过的其他女孩相比，霜儿的阴道同样紧致，不同之处在于，霜儿的肉壁却格外柔软，在紧致的同时完全没有任何束缚感，从四周往中间收缩的力度使得她的阴道壁严密地包围在我整根阴茎周围，没有丝毫缝隙。霜儿阴道壁上的肉褶纹理也比其他女孩细腻，每当我抽送的时候，从龟头直到阴茎根部，都能感受到她的肉褶带来的舒适摩擦感，就有如霜儿在用她的阴道温柔地抚摸我的小弟弟。而且不知道霜儿是天生感觉灵敏，还是因为她爱我的缘故，从我进入那一刻开始，她的阴道里已经充分湿润，似乎完全不受我那敷衍了事的前戏影响。在大量水分的作用下，她的肉壁将我的阴茎贴得更紧了，宛如有吸力一般黏着我的整根东西，再加上她暖热的体温，那份无与伦比的呵护感，是我从未在其他女孩身上体验过的，也许这就是爱情的魔力，霜儿在用爱情滋润我的小弟弟。
我的下身享受着霜儿的阴道的同时，上身紧压着霜儿的身体，抓紧一切机会感受她那温暖而娇柔的身体。但我的抽送动作极其缓慢，而且每动一下都歇一阵子，一方面是想仔细体会霜儿完美的身体，一方面是太久不做爱了，我怕一下就射了，给霜儿留下不好的印象。但即使这样，只那么两三分钟，我仍然感觉自己举步维艰，好像随时都要失守。我由于过于激动，从脸到脖子，都通红发热。一般我喜欢以正面体位开始，然后换成后进体位，但这次我不想中途离开霜儿的身体，我担心抽出来时一不小心就射了，这是我和女神第一次做爱，意义重大，我要确保把精液都射进她的身体，这样完美，才不会留下遗憾。因此到了换体位的时候，我把霜儿抱起来，采用男下女上式，这样在更换姿势时仍然可以留在霜儿的身体里，而且这种体位能依靠重力让我插得更深，有机会让我的龟头触碰到霜儿的子宫颈，同时霜儿的胸部正好贴在我的脸上，让我可以尽情品尝她身体这个最柔软最美丽的部位。我最喜欢把头埋在她的双乳中间，闻她身上的那股特有的芳香。每个女人都有体香，味道很淡，不容易闻出来，但在她们乳房附近就容易闻得到，尤其是当很久没做爱，欲望强烈的时候，男人会对这种味道很敏感，很容易能闻出来。我抱着霜儿上下抽动了几下，阴茎在她身体里挺进得更深了，但我觉得这种体位过于刺激，加快了我缴枪的速度，于是不得不重新又把霜儿放下来。我不敢再前后移动，只是任由阴茎停留在霜儿体内，然后深深地吻她。这是灵与肉的结合。我对霜儿说，宝贝，我们终于都融为一体了，相爱的人就应该这样。但无论我怎么拖时间，最终都抑制不住射精的冲动，没多久我便感觉尿道口有股液体冉冉流出，那是前列腺素，是射精的前奏，我知道即使我再不做任何动作，也无法再坚持了，因此抓住最后的一点时间，以最快的速度在霜儿的阴道里往返摩擦，顷刻间我也到达了极限。我压在霜儿的身上，全身肌肉在极度兴奋的刺激下收缩，环抱着霜儿的手臂将她的乳房紧贴在我的胸前，而我的阴茎也被腰力顶到了尽头，在霜儿体内深处欢快地跳动起来。伴随着每一次发射，我都能清楚感觉到精液喷出来时，滑过尿道口时那份有力的冲击。这是从肉体到精神上的最高享受，对男人来说，最满足的事情莫过于能在女神的子宫里注入自己的精液。霜儿两眼紧闭，表情陶醉而满足，她的身体处于完全放松的状态，绵软无力的躯体被我牢牢锁在怀中，任由我尽情释放着体内积存已久的情欲。直到我射完精，仍然深吻着霜儿，我和她的舌头缠绕在一起，久久不舍放开。
我们完成了第一次鱼水之欢，霜儿充满弹性的阴道逐渐把我软下来的阴茎挤了出来。我当时意犹未尽，退到她的身下，想用嘴巴再次品尝一下她的阴道，那个带给我无限喜悦的地方，没想到我的精液已经从她的阴道口流了好多出来，白白的混浊液体在她大腿上挂了好长一串。于是我只好在她的屁股和没有精液的另一条大腿上亲吻了几遍。这时霜儿很温柔地说，猪猪，过来让我抱一抱你。我就在她身旁躺下，单手搂着她，霜儿偎在我肩膀上，说，猪猪，你终于都得到了梦寐以求的东西。我回应道：霜儿，你对我真好，谢谢你对我这么好。然后停了一下，我接着说，但这次只能算是热身，因为太久没做过了，所以持续时间短，这可不是我的真正实力。霜儿扑哧一下笑了出来，说，你们男人都在乎这点，其实，对女生来说，能和自己爱的人在一起就足够了，时间长短根本不重要。我又问她，你的胸部好丰满，肯定不止b杯吧霜儿笑着回答说，那时和你刚开始不久，你就问人家胸围大小，我只是随便乱说敷衍你的，我其实是c罩杯。我说，想不到你还骗我。霜儿说，谁叫你这么好色。
过了一会，霜儿说要去洗个澡，我又提出一起洗，但霜儿还是不同意。她似乎比较害羞，不愿意让我看到她如何清洗自己的身体，我没有坚持，正好趁机休息一下恢复体力，准备再战。不过霜儿洗完澡出来后，出了一点小插曲。不知道是不是霜儿洗澡时看到了浴室里酒店摆卖的安全套，她突然发起了脾气，说我一点都不爱惜她，不做安全措施，要是她怀孕了怎么办。我不知道是怎么回事，刚才还好好的，于是我就辩解说我不是不爱惜她，我只是根本没考虑过这个问题。没想到霜儿更气了，说什么叫没考虑过，你一点都不老实，你也明知道自己曾害得gf意外怀孕，做过流产，现在还不知悔改，把同样的错误犯在我身上。说完就开始穿衣服，说走吧，吃饭去。我当时急坏了，这不还指望着再好好享受一次的嘛。我连忙道歉说对不起霜儿，是我不好。当时霜儿坐在床边，我单膝跪在她面前，拉着她的手，说对不起，都是因为我太爱你了，我不想戴套，不想和你之间还有任何的阻隔。我等下去买毓婷，原谅我好吗霜儿渐渐消了气，但还是拒绝和我再做，非要先去吃饭。我心情失落极了，只好也穿了衣服，准备要走。
走到门口的时候，我实在心有不甘，都已经这样了，哪还有啥心情吃饭啊，于是我突然把她拦腰抱起来。霜儿被我吓了一跳，惊叫了一声，却没有任何不悦的意思。我抱着她走到床前，霜儿问我是不是很重啊，要把一个人抱起来可不容易。我说还好，把你抱起来还是可以的。我把霜儿放在另一张床上，重新脱光她的衣服。原本我还担心她会要求我使用浴室里的安全套，结果她根本没再提这事，女人的心思就是这么难猜透。经过刚才的翻云覆雨，这次我从容了许多，耐心地反复亲吻和抚摸她的身体。霜儿乖乖地躺着，一动不动地任我欣赏把玩。霜儿一直都是这样，她给我的印象是她在性方面很保守，懂的也非常少，她总是很害羞，不敢主动触碰我的生殖器，我拿起她的手放在自己勃起的阴茎上，跟她说，这东西我送给你好不好，随便你拿来怎么玩都行。霜儿只是羞涩地笑，没有回答。每次我吮吸她的乳头，或尝试把手指伸入她的阴道的时候，她也会不自然地推开我，我问她怎么了，她只是摇摇头不说话。也许是她觉得自己的乳头会因为快感而突起来，自己的阴道在我的触摸下会分泌玉液，在我面前展示这些让她感到不好意思吧。霜儿就是这样一个傻姑娘，这些都是女孩子的特有性征，只会让人觉得她更有魅力。但看得出来她很喜欢我对她做的任何事情，当我抚摸她，亲吻她的时候，她总是闭起双眼，陶醉在快乐之中，那表情煞是可爱。我抽插她的时候，她表现得放松又投入，每当我往里挺进，她会快乐地喊：“妈妈”。无论什么时候和霜儿做爱，她的阴道里永远是水灵灵的，温暖且湿润，更妙的是她会一直保持这最好的湿度，即使高潮来时也不会因为水分过多而感觉不到她的肉褶。不像其他有些姑娘往往是开始的时候水分不够，到兴致来的时候又太湿，让人感觉仿佛插在润滑液里一般。霜儿既能让我轻易进入她的身体，又能在我抽送期间一直享受着她阴道的轻柔爱抚，那感觉真是欲罢不能。因此我一直都非常嫉妒她的老公，能娶到这样的人间尤物。
和前一次相比，我的状态有了质的改变，即使在霜儿这么完美的阴道里也能游刃有余地控制节奏，时深时浅，时快时慢，时而改抽插为旋转，偶尔还故意贴着她的上壁，用龟头触碰敏感的g点，努力为我的女神带来肉体上的愉悦。到了一定程度，我把阴茎缓缓抽离，对霜儿说，宝贝，我们换个姿势。然后我把霜儿反过来，从后面重新插入。又抽送了一阵，我再次离开她的身体，回到原来的体位。我问霜儿，在我们尝试过的体位中，你最喜欢哪种她回答说，我就喜欢这种，因为这样我可以抱着你。于是我继续使用这种传统体位，由于这次我的龟头没有前一次如此敏感了，我得以放开顾忌大胆抽送，动作幅度和频率都大大提升，看着怀抱里的霜儿女神被我插得高潮迭起，放肆地叫唤着妈妈，亢奋之下自然流露的表情是如此性感迷人，我的心里非常满足。我边干着她，边带着挑逗的口吻对她说，霜儿，我爱你，我和你做爱不想戴套，因为我想毫无保留地接触你的身体，完完全全地占有你，不但如此，我还要把精液都射进你的身体里面，那都是我的爱液。霜儿没有回答，只是闭着眼醉心于快感之中，她已经被我征服，放任我对她做任何的事。在最后关头来临前，我轻声对霜儿说，霜儿，我爱你。然后吻住她，第二次把精液射进了她的身体里。
我还想继续做第三次，但霜儿说太晚了她一定要回去，不然老公要起疑心了。我很不情愿地抱着她，求她再留一会，霜儿安慰我说，明天晚上她找了个借口，可以在外面过夜，可以陪我整个晚上，让我好好养精蓄锐留着明天使用。我说我这不用留，还多得用不完呢，霜儿忍不住笑了，但还是坚决要走。我虽然失望，但至少还有明晚。我和霜儿虽然是同事，但因为这公司很大，我们不在一个部门，其实见面的机会并不多，加上她已婚，我虽然那时没结婚，但和gf已经住在一起5年了，和结婚也没什么区别，所以每次见面都弥足珍贵。
第二天中午我们一起吃中饭，那天我休了一天假，但霜儿还要上班。我便一个人在酒店里玩游戏，命令与征服-将军。我的心情格外好，一边玩着游戏，一边等着晚上女神来和自己做爱，感觉人生简直已经完美了。
晚上，霜儿来了，我提出一起洗澡，开始霜儿有点犹豫，后来还是答应了，但她说她买了件比基尼泳装，要自己先试一下，要我在浴室外面等，试完了再喊我进去。我以为她又不同意，就缠着说要和她一起进浴室，她说，你乖乖在外面等，既然我答应了你就一定会叫你进去的。我等了一会，她果然开了浴室门，我赶紧脱光衣服跑了进去，霜儿刚试完泳装，身上一丝不挂，我们抱在一起，浴室的镜子很大，从镜子里能清楚看到我们赤身裸体相拥的情形。我特别喜欢男女共浴，为对方清洁身体，可以仔细欣赏对方的身体的每个部位，温热的水让人放松惬意，水分让女孩的肌肤变得更滑更嫩，湿润的脸则更显娇羞迷人。我用双手肆意触摸着霜儿迷人的身体，除了霜儿的下体，那里似乎是个禁地，每次我试图把手伸向她的双腿之间，霜儿都会阻挡我。我很奇怪，问她，为什么不让我摸啊，插都插过了。霜儿只是笑着说，你这人说话真恶心。我的小弟弟很快高高翘起了头，霜儿见状，就非要赶我出去，让我在外面等她洗完。她是因为昨晚吃了毓婷，不能再不做安全措施，所以格外小心，担心我冲动之下强行进入她的身体。
霜儿跟我说，那件比基尼穿起来不好看，在电视上看模特穿得很漂亮，结果自己穿才知道，那效果和想象中的魔鬼般的身材差的好远。我说怎么会呢，你是标准的天使般的面孔，魔鬼般的身材啊，要不你再穿上我评判一下。霜儿不肯，还说我说话总是那么夸张。其实我说的都是我的真实看法，霜儿的确没有模特那样的魔鬼身材，但她有她的特点，她是小巧玲珑型，体形匀称优美，皮肤白皙细致，加上她的声音温柔悦耳，娇俏中带着一丝柔弱，总让我有种想要蹂躏她的冲动，却又格外怜惜，生怕会伤害到她。这也使我无可救药地爱上她，反倒是那些身材高挑的美女，虽然我也喜欢，却没有她对我那种致命的吸引力。也许就是这类女孩，特别能吸引我，我生命中有过亲密关系的女孩，基本都是这种类型。
因为订的是标双，我们把两张床拼在一起，这样我们就有了一张大床。唯一的遗憾是那晚霜儿一定要我戴上安全套，才允许我进入她的身体。但那样也有好处，那就是我更加持久了。我很轻易地就把霜儿女神送入高潮，欣赏着她在我胯下放肆呻吟。做到一半的时候，我想更换体位，没想到霜儿轻声哀求道，猪猪，不要离开我的身体。我问她，你不想换个姿势吗她摇摇头，说不想，不要中途拔出来，突然一下子变得空空，那感觉我不喜欢。我答应了她，从那开始我和霜儿做爱只用一种传统姿势。这对我来说是好事，我的性爱技巧不多，和其他男性的技术比起来也许根本不及格，难得霜儿就喜欢我这种单一做法，正中我的下怀。
做完一次，霜儿穿上衣服，说我唱首歌给你听吧。我还开玩笑说想不到你还会唱歌，我可以点歌吗她说你怎么这么多废话，你到底还听不听我说听，然后就不说话安静听她唱。她打开手机，播起了一首歌曲，是邓丽君的《月亮代表我的心》，她就一直跟着唱。霜儿的声线本来就格外温柔，加上她唱得情深款款，听得我非常感动。我很爱霜儿，也曾求过霜儿离婚嫁给我，但我的态度不是非常坚决，可能霜儿也感觉得出来我的摇摆，所以一直拒绝我。但她是有点犹豫的，如果当时我能下定决心一心一意娶她，可能我们的结局会有所不同。
那个时候，我27岁，霜儿和我同龄，这个年龄对女人来说，正是希望感情能安定下来的时候，而对我来说，心理上还没有结婚的准备。在和霜儿交往的同时，我又和另一个女同事好上了。那是一次去江南某城出差，在那里认识了一个叫小雨的同事。她是当地人，比我小4岁，也是小巧玲珑型的女孩，个头和霜儿一样，皮肤很白，戴着眼镜，样子很斯文恬静。认识小雨一段时间后，我感觉小雨对我有点好感，就在周末约了她外出，过马路时牵住了她的手。和小雨的关系不像霜儿那么顺利，她一开始便问我，在她之前，我还有没有和其他女同事交往过。我回答说有，但她已经结婚了，所以我和她是不会有结果的。小雨很快就表现得对我很不信任。我跟她说，我完全可以骗你说没有，我这么坦白，是因为我喜欢你，所以不想骗你。小雨很不屑地说，你是怕以后被我发现而已，这些事情传得很快，你想瞒也瞒不住。于是从一开始，我和小雨的关系便蒙上了一层阴影。
我和小雨一直保持来往，但她始终不信任我，当然也不同意和我发生关系。我那时和霜儿的感情也很煎熬，因此也就对小雨没抱多大希望。没想到有一天我和小雨去游泳，她因为水性不好，在深水区出现了险情，我见她在水中挣扎，赶紧游过去把她带上岸来。事后小雨很感动地说，当看到我向她游过来那一刻，她就一点都不害怕了，她知道我一定会救她。这次英雄救美消除了小雨对我的戒心，她终于答应和我出来开房。那天我坐在床边，小雨站在我面前，我抱着她，脱去她的外衣和内衣，把脸贴在她的胸前亲吻。她的乳房不如霜儿的丰满，只有a罩杯，但同样稚嫩柔软，乳头的颜色也很好看，我的嘴巴反复在两边吮吸，小雨很快进入了状态，她的两颗乳头高高突了起来，我能听见她娇嗔的喘息声。于是我把她的裤子全脱掉，让她平躺在床上，自己也脱光衣服，准备把早已坚挺的阳具插入小雨的身体。小雨之前一定要让我买安全套，才肯出来开房，所以我有安全套，但却不想使用，小雨坚决不许，她把安全套包装拆了，看着我戴上，才允许我进入。我双手各抓着小雨一边乳房，插入了小雨的身体。和乳房小的女孩做爱，一手就能完全掌握一只。我一边揉着小雨的胸部，一边前后移动着下体，小雨便开始呻吟。小雨是留学生，她也有bf，对于做爱似乎比霜儿更熟悉一点，但不如霜儿那么投入，可能是因为小雨对我始终有所保留，不像霜儿那么爱我。小雨是江南妹子，皮肤很白很嫩，她的肤色比霜儿更白，霜儿则是白里透红，仿佛是由于皮肤太薄无法完全遮盖住血管，两个妹子各有千秋。小雨的阴毛比霜儿浓密，她的阴道似乎更短一点，同样紧窄，不过感觉不如霜儿那么贴合。
在我的抽插之下，小雨越来越兴奋，从她的表情可以看出她已沉浸在快乐之中，她的阴道也因为快感变得十分湿润。我始终不死心，偎下头对她说，宝贝，我想把安全套脱掉可以吗小雨说，不要，我怕会怀孕。我说我会小心的，只脱掉一会，到射精的时候我重新戴上，好吗小雨还是很犹豫，但在我的纠缠下还是很勉强地答应了。我马上退出来脱掉了套子重新插入，我的小弟弟总算可以直接触碰到阴道内的肉褶了，配合着小雨身体里丰富的润滑液，那感觉有了质的提升。我很满足，移动的幅度也逐渐加大起来。但小雨却越来越拘谨，很担心我会射在她体内，不断地问我是不是要出来了什么时候再戴啊。我跟她说我等下拿出来射就可以了，不会有事的，但小雨不同意，说你还是出来戴上套吧。我有点不耐烦了，就说宝贝，你放心，我不会让你怀孕的，我们别讨论这个了好吗小雨还是不肯，她有点生气，想要推开我，那个时候我实在太兴奋了，小雨越是抗拒我越是要这样做，竟然不顾她的挣扎，把她压在身下勐干。我左手搂着她的上身，右手托着她的腰部，把她的下体迎向我的阳具，每一次都插到小雨身体的最深处，然后退到最外面阴道口处，再下一次反复。弱小的小雨根本无从摆脱。我抽插的频率逐渐加快，小雨也更担心了，不断地哀求我。不管怎么样我还是有理智的，在最后一瞬间，我把阴茎抽离小雨的身体，夹在她的大腿中间，把精液喷在她胸前。
但是做完之后小雨却很不开心，说我一点都不在乎她，要是意外怀孕了怎么办。我有点心烦，为啥总为这个问题交缠呢，我便安慰她不会的，反问她你又没试过怎么知道，谁知道小雨突然伤心地哭起来，说，我试过。我这时才知道自己犯了大错，连忙抱着她，连说对不起，都是我不好。
之后小雨又和我发生了几次关系，但都不是特别和谐，没有和霜儿那种水乳交融的感觉。渐渐地小雨就不再答应和我开房了，她说我只顾自己舒服，根本不在乎她的感受。小雨还提出过跟我分手，她说她本来是很喜欢我的，很希望能为我做点事情，但感觉我要的只是性，没有其他东西，让她感觉很害怕。而且她知道我和霜儿的事，说不希望自己成为另一个女人的影子。后来，我和小雨没有再上床，但我们俩人还是保持着亲密的关系，直到我离开这个公司。
其实当时我也是很喜欢小雨的，小雨总是批评我只喜欢性，但其实男人对女人的欣赏都是从好色开始的，包括霜儿，以及其他交往过的女孩，如果小雨不是一直对我有戒心，也许我们的发展会有所不同。但小雨也给了我启示，她说和我在一起，觉得我要求的只是性，让她没有安全感。也许霜儿也有同样的感觉，只是霜儿没有告诉我。
那时霜儿并不知道小雨的存在，我也不敢让她知道，因为霜儿很在乎忠诚，她曾说过如果知道我和她和gf以外还有第三个女人，会立刻离开我。霜儿还说过，她是不会接受我和她各自有了自己家庭，还继续来往的。但后来这种局面后来真的出现了。
我那时很爱霜儿，考虑再三，我把和霜儿的事告诉了gf，原想着就此分手算了。没想到gf听了我说的话，既没有发脾气，也没有闹，只是流着眼泪说，这种事情没有对错，我不怪你。但只要你一天不结婚，我都不会放弃你，你就把我当作一个一直追你的女孩就好了。gf的态度让我非常心疼，我和她在一起5年了，期间我们相处融洽，从没吵过嘴。我一下心软了，就没有和gf分成手。
但经过这次以后，gf就想尽办法劝我结婚，也许她也知道女人要下决心离婚不容易，霜儿可能也在犹豫，因此她一直想把和我的关系确定下来。我经不住gf的软磨硬泡，加上霜儿又下不了决心，我觉得这样下去不是办法，就答应了gf去领结婚证。我去领证的前一天，还特地去找过霜儿，希望最后努力一次。可是霜儿还是没有答应，她流着眼泪说，猪猪，我的心好疼啊，我一直跟你说我不会离婚，但其实我心里还抱着一点点的幻想，希望我们之间会出现奇迹，但是现在我连这点最后的幻想也破灭了，我们以后真的不可能会在一起了。霜儿那晚哭得肝肠寸断，现在回想起这些事，隔着十几年的时空，我仍然感受得到她的心疼。
我还是和gf结了婚，那时我唯一担心的是霜儿会像她说的那样，我结婚之后就离开我。幸亏这没有发生，霜儿还是继续和我在一起，我那时有点侥幸心理，认为霜儿已经离不开我了，没想到以后我们会天各一方，也没想到我对她的爱有这么深，一直都忘不了。
Once, Shuang'er was sent on a business trip by her company, which happened to be to her hometown. I lied to my wife, saying I was going on a business trip, but actually I was on vacation to be with Shuang'er. On my first day at Shuang'er's hotel, she happened to be wearing the same clothes I wore on our first date. We were both away from our families, feeling carefree, and I was especially excited. At first, I pushed Shuang'er down on the bed and pounced on her, thrusting hard, so much so that my groin slapped against her vulva, making a slapping sound. After a few times, Shuang'er had to beg, "Baby, be gentle." I then realized I had been too rough and quickly apologized, saying, "Shuang'er, I'm sorry, I got too excited." Shuang'er comforted me, saying, "It's okay, just be gentle." Shuang'er also let go of her usual inhibitions and moaned freely beneath me. As the climax approached, Shuang'er held me tightly and suddenly whispered tenderly in my ear, "Baby, I want to have a child for you." Her voice was soft and delicate, tinged with a slight panting, the most beautiful words of love I had ever heard. I supported her upper back with my left hand, pressing her soft breasts against my chest, and with my right hand, I pressed her waist, guiding her vagina towards my lower body—a position I loved, allowing for maximum contact with her body. Shuang'er cooperated by hooking her legs behind my waist, making it easier for me to penetrate deeper. Finally, I once again perfectly released my passion inside Shuang'er. Shuang'er opened her legs, joyfully welcoming my love juices as they shot into her womb.
My penis gradually softened and slipped out of her vagina, but Shuang'er clung to me, refusing to let go. After a while, she suddenly burst into tears, repeatedly crying, "Piggy, what should we do? What should we do?" She cried helplessly, tears streaming down her face, her body limp and powerless. I knelt on the bed, lifted her up tightly, brushed her silky hair aside, kissed away her tears, and then kissed her mouth to mouth. Our naked bodies pressed tightly together; her body was warm and soft, an unusually unique and comfortable feeling that intensely stimulated me. My penis, which had just softened, actually became erect again because of this—something that had never happened before. After making love, I always needed to rest for a while before I could get an erection again. Shuang'er's body had such magic.
But at the time, I wasn't too moved by Shuang'er's tears. Instead, I felt that I could have both a wife and Shuang'er, the best of both worlds. More than ten years later, I finally understood Shuang'er's heart, but it was too late. I didn't even have the chance to apologize to her.
Later, I still bought Shuang'er emergency contraception. Looking back now, if I had actually gotten her pregnant and forced us both to make a decision, maybe things could have changed. I spent an unforgettable week with Shuang'er there; we were like a real couple. But I also felt very sorry for her that time because we did it too many times. Afterwards, she had some uterine bleeding, and she didn't tell me until much later, afraid of worrying me.
After I got married, I stayed with Shuang'er for almost a year. I was always worried that Shuang'er would leave me. I knew she valued marriage and fidelity very much, and these were my Achilles' heel. Shuang'er once told me that her heart was already dead, that she had no hope for me, and that she could easily leave me. But she didn't want to see me sad, so she would stay with me until I got tired of her and could leave. She also said, "You'll understand in the future; you'll never find another girl who loves you like that." At the time, I didn't take her words seriously. I always thought I had won her over, that she couldn't live without me. It wasn't until we separated that I realized Shuang'er was speaking from the heart, and I deeply regretted not cherishing her and that love more. This is probably a common problem for most men: they don't appreciate what they have until they lose it. Because of this, I've always cherished my wife after marriage. But I can never let go of Shuang'er. Whenever I recall those sweet memories, my heart aches.
The root cause of my separation from Shuang'er wasn't my marriage, but my failed business venture. I quit my job to try and start my own business, only to lose everything. The pressure made me sick; I became incredibly thin and looked like a ghost. For a while, I was unemployed, had no savings, and lived with my wife in a cramped 10-square-meter rented room, supported by her meager salary. The fatal blow was when my wife discovered my week-long affair with Shuang'er. That was the only time she ever got so angry. She cried and said, "Since you chose to marry me, why did you go to see her?" I was speechless. I worried that if things continued like this, even my wife would leave me with nothing, so I chose to say goodbye to Shuang'er. The last time I saw her, she wore a sexy sundress—a dress she had said she would only wear for me. With a slightly sad yet forced smile, she told me, "It's okay, as long as you take care of yourself, I'm relieved." My life and Shuang'er's took completely different paths from that moment on. I've always wanted to tell Shuang'er that I left her back then not because I was tired of being with her, but because I was defeated by the hardships of life, and I bowed to fate. By the time I recovered, everything had changed, and there was no going back.
But Shuang'er remained in my heart. Two years later, I climbed out of the depths of despair. My wife and I moved to another city, found jobs, and recovered our health. I wanted to contact Shuang'er again, but she refused and blocked me. More than ten years later, I was immigrating abroad and longed to see her before leaving. By then, we were both parents of two children. I thought that since I was leaving and we had both grown old over the years, we should let go of all grudges and just meet once. But she remained the same, resolute in her rejection of me, and blocked me again. She had once said that if we separated in the future, it would be a complete break, a permanent estrangement, because she loved me too much. Perhaps that's why she doesn't see me now, or perhaps she resents my lack of courage to marry her back then, or perhaps she knows about my affair with Xiaoyu and still can't forgive me. Whatever the reason, I may never know until I die. I can only live on with this pain. Back then, Shuang'er often cried in front of me, saying she had never cried so much in her entire life when she was with me. My current pain and regret are repayment for the debt of love I owed her back then.

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A true love experience from over a decade ago, filled with infatuation and confusion.

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