Did you wear underwear today? (11 questions)

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-14

1. I treated a girl to drinks last night, thinking of getting her drunk and doing *that*, haha.
I grabbed a bottle of 56-proof baijiu (Chinese liquor), split it in half, and finished it. Seeing she was still sober, I ordered four bottles of beer, which I also finished. She was still sober, but I was drunk. This morning, after waking up, I'll add this:
The most painful thing when a guy invites a girl for drinks is when the drinks run out but he's not drunk yet. The most painful thing of all is when the girl is still sober while the guy is already drunk.
Comment: It seems that once a girl dares to pick up a glass of wine, she's no ordinary drinker!
2. Me: I've had a crush on you for a long time.
The other person: I've harbored resentment towards you for a long time.
My heart is wounded...
Comment: A too direct answer could lead to long-term erectile dysfunction!
3. I was playing cards with a couple of colleagues. The woman got a winning hand several times in a row, which frustrated us. I accidentally said, "Awesome! Absolutely awesome!" and then asked the woman, "Do you know what 'awesome' means?" It was very awkward, and everyone pretended not to hear.
Comment: The author's playing style is clearly terrible; is he trying to provoke us?
4. After graduation, I brought my computer home. One day, with nothing to do, I casually looked through the files on the computer and found a hidden folder. Opening it, I discovered it contained videos. Of course, I watched them alone. Unexpectedly, I fell asleep. When I woke up, my dad was sitting next to me, saying earnestly, "You're all grown up now, we can understand that, but I'm curious, the female lead is your girlfriend, why isn't the male lead you?" (The female lead in that video really looked a lot like my girlfriend.) I was incredibly embarrassed; I wanted to bang my head against the wall. I didn't know if my dad was genuinely confused or just pretending.
Comment: My dad's been eyeing her for ages, letting others have her but not me. Unfilial!
5. Eating chicken wings with friends again
I was going to ask the waiter to bring me gloves.
It turned out to be about the waiter's trick.
I didn't think much of it.
But the looks from those around me told me, kid, you're really embarrassed...
Comment: The waiter might take it seriously, but that's not a big deal.
6. Once, I used the toilet at a classmate's house, and after I finished, I found that the toilet was broken and I couldn't flush it no matter what I did. In the end, I had to call the host for help, and there were several other people watching. Sigh, there's nothing more embarrassing than this...
Comment: The author must be a woman. I remember when I was little, I would deliberately poop at a classmate's house and not flush!
7. One day, a friend was driving, and I got bored in the car, so I started swaying back and forth, and the car swayed along with me. Later, everyone got bored, so all four of us started swaying the car really hard. As a result, when we stopped at a red light, the cars behind us all looked into our car (thinking we were... **...).
Comment: The social impact of Sun Yue's car sex scandal is exceptionally strong.
8. My little sister is so lazy. After dinner, she just watched TV. After giving her countless reasons to do the dishes, she finally agreed. But as soon as she got to the kitchen, she ran out again, saying the dishes were too greasy and she didn't want to wash them. I was furious and yelled at her: "Can't you just use sanitary napkins (dish soap) to wash them?!"... Ugh. The whole family was staring at me with wide eyes... Sigh (I got so worked up).
Comment: This might be a great way to remove grease! It's not that you can't do it, it's that you can't think of it.
9. Once, I was walking down the street without my glasses when I saw a very handsome and familiar person. So I went closer to take a look, only to find out that it was just a mirror.
Comment: What a huge mirror! It's a bit narcissistic!
10. At work, two female colleagues were chatting about learning to drive and taking driving tests. One of them asked, "What kind of driver's license do you need to drive a car?" I casually interjected, "A C license, of course (bra size)." I felt like jumping off a building.
Comment: Homophones, but different meanings. It wasn't my intention, but rather yours!
11. Once, my girlfriend and I had a small argument because she said I didn't care about her enough. After we made up, I asked her to go see a movie. To show that I actually cared about her (it was a cold day), I wanted to ask her if she was wearing long underwear, but then I thought asking if she was wearing a bra would be more polite. In my nervousness, I blurted out, "Are you wearing underwear today?"
Comment: If your relationship wasn't close enough to the point of sex before, now's a good time; maybe you can take it to the next level. Your girlfriend should be overjoyed!

URL 1:https://www.sexlove5.com/htmlBlog/217466.html

URL 2:/Blog.aspx?id=217466&aspx=1

Last access time:

Previous Page : A compilation of classic jokes and anecdotes that will make you laugh until you vomit blood. Which one haven't you seen before?

Next Page : Have you ever seen toothpaste in a hotel?

增加

comment Open a new window to view comments

Contact Information

Did you wear underwear today? (11 questions)

comment Open a new window to view comments