Cold jokes - 20151106-3

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1. In Chinese class today, the teacher was going to give a dictation test. When it came to the part about wolves and jackals working together, I didn't know how to write the character for "jackal," so I glanced at my deskmate's. Turns out, he wrote "wolves being surrounded and raped"... [Mr. Three-Nothing]
2. A classmate was shopping, playing on his phone, when a deaf-mute man approached him, holding up a disability certificate and asking for money. The classmate, not looking closely, assumed he was handing out flyers, took the certificate, and walked away. The deaf-mute man yelled after him, "Damn it, don't go!" [Refrigerator Fan]
3. Ah-Dai borrowed a movie from his roommate, too shy to ask directly, so he said: "Just two simple characters, same setting, the kind that's really enjoyable to watch!" His roommate understood, and brought the movie the next day. Upon seeing the cover, Ah-Dai burst into tears! "A Crosstalk Album!" 【A Man Like the Wind】
4. A screenwriter surnamed Yang was away writing a play. The other party treated him with excessive hospitality, calling him "Screenwriter Yang" in a very familiar way. The screenwriter felt uncomfortable and asked them to change their address. The next day, everyone started calling him "Playwright Yang," and Screenwriter Yang completely broke down! [Searching for Lost Beauty i]
5. I'm really unhappy today! I invited my junior colleague to dinner tonight, and her dad happened to call, so I said, "Uncle, come over and eat with us." He came over quickly, and after dinner, he told me to come over to his place for a bit, so I went. As soon as I sat down in the living room, he patted me on the shoulder: "Kid, you and my daughter watch TV for a while. I'm going out to run some errands and I'll come back and chat with you later." — I've been watching TV for an hour now, why isn't her dad back to chat with me?

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