11 classic jokes that will definitely help you

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11 Jokes to Enlighten Your Marital Relationship
(one)
Dayong was away on a business trip when he suddenly returned home and heard a man snoring at the door. Dayong silently walked away, sent his wife a text message: "Let's get a divorce!" Then he threw away his SIM card and left for another city. Three years later, they met again in a city. His wife asked, "Why did you leave without saying goodbye?" Dayong explained what had happened. His wife turned and left, saying calmly, "That was the little lion from Rising Antivirus."
Comment: The most indispensable thing between husband and wife is not passion and impulse, but trust. Even if you see or hear something, you should at least give your partner a chance to explain, because even what you hear and see may have other hidden stories.
(two)
The husband scolded, "What you cooked isn't green vegetables at all! It's all yellowish-brown."
The wife immediately replied, "You come home so late every day, of course you wouldn't know that they were once 'young' on my spatula."
Comment: When we start noticing the handsome men and beautiful women around us and feel that our partner has lost their former glory, please don't forget that the most beautiful years of their lives were spent with us.
(three)
A couple's long-standing harmonious marriage was the talk of the town. A local reporter asked them the secret to their happy marriage, and the husband explained: "Well, it all started with our honeymoon. We went to the Grand Canyon for our honeymoon. We were supposed to ride donkeys to the bottom of the canyon, but we hadn't gone far when my wife's donkey fell. My wife calmly said, 'The first time.' We continued on our way, and soon the donkey fell again. My wife calmly said, 'The second time.' We hadn't gone half a mile when the donkey fell again. This time, my wife pulled out her revolver and shot the donkey. I strongly disagreed with her behavior and started arguing with her. Then, my newlywed wife calmly said to me, 'The first time…'"
Comment: There must be some bottom lines in marriage that deserve respect. By testing each other, we can find out where the other person's bottom line is, consciously give way, and never let ourselves be reckless.
(Four)
Xiao Lin said to his wife, "You always compare your house to Xiao Yang's next door. When they renovated their house, you wanted me to renovate our house according to their style; when they bought a computer, you wanted me to buy the exact same computer. What are we going to do now?"
"Have they gotten anything new?" the wife asked anxiously.
“He married a young and beautiful wife yesterday,” the husband replied.
Comment: Don't always compare yourself to others, and don't blindly imitate a certain family. Every couple has their own circumstances, and it's impossible to completely copy someone else's happiness. Just live your own happy life.
(five)
Xiaolin's neighbor came home and saw Xiaolin standing outside the door, so he walked up to him curiously and asked, "Hey, Xiaolin, what's wrong? Can't you get in?"
Kobayashi smiled and said, "My brain isn't working properly, I forgot my keys!"
"Come sit at my house for a while," the neighbor said warmly.
Kobayashi declined, saying, "No, my wife will be back soon."
After the neighbors left, Xiaolin pleaded softly at the door, "Honey, please open the door. I admit my mistake, okay?"
Comment: People care about their image. Often, they would rather suffer in silence than lose face in front of others. Even if there is a huge conflict between husband and wife, it should be resolved at home. Under no circumstances should an iron door separate the two people.
(six)
Husband: "Darling, since you love me so much, why didn't you say yes immediately when you first proposed?"
Wife: "Because I want to see how you react after I refuse."
Husband: "Oh, but what would you have done if I had turned around and left then?"
Wife: "Don't worry, you can't get out, because I locked the door a long time ago."
Comment: Sometimes what couples say doesn't represent their true intentions, so don't take every word so seriously, especially during arguments. When things get heated, all sorts of vicious things can be said. But if you really want to separate, there's no need to argue. The initial purpose of arguing is more to vent anger and try to salvage the relationship.
(seven)
A couple was relaxing at the beach when the husband kept staring at every pretty girl passing by. His wife scolded him, "Show some respect, Robert! You're a married man!"
“So what? Just because I’m eating hospital food doesn’t mean I’m not entitled to look at the menu of a luxury restaurant!” the husband retorted.
Comment: Some small actions are out of human nature. Don't suppress them. As long as they don't cross the line, leaving a little space is not a bad thing. People really do get tired of seeing things.
(eight)
There was a couple. The husband was watching TV and eating sunflower seeds when suddenly the wife called out from the kitchen, "Honey, could you fix the light for me?"
My husband said impatiently, "I'm not a plumber!"
Not long after, his wife called out again, "Honey, can you fix the refrigerator for me?"
My husband said impatiently, "I'm not an appliance repairman!"
A little while later, the wife called out again, "Honey, could you help me fix the wine cabinet door?"
My husband was annoyed and angrily said, "I'm not a carpenter!"
Then he went outside to drink and relieve his boredom. An hour later, the husband felt guilty and decided to go home and fix those things. But when he got home, he found that everything was fixed, so he asked his wife, "Why are all the things fixed?"
My wife said, "After you left home, I sat sadly outside the door. A handsome young man happened to pass by, and after hearing what happened, he said with concern, 'I can fix it for you! But you can choose to bake me a cake or be intimate with me once!'"
My husband asked, "Then what kind of cake are you going to make for him?"
The wife replied, "I'm not a cake maker."
Comment: Once you take on the responsibilities of marriage, you should try to do all the housework. Even if you don't do it yourself, you should have a solution. You can't shirk your responsibilities by saying "I don't know how to do this".
(Nine)
A couple was fishing by the river. The wife kept nagging, and soon a fish took the bait.
The lady said, "This fish is so pitiful."
The husband said, "Yes, as long as we shut up, everything will be fine, right?"
Comment: In a marriage, it's crucial to consider each other's feelings and not act solely based on one's own preferences. Habits like nagging are generally not very effective and should be controlled.
(ten)
The wife complained to her husband: "You don't understand women's hearts at all, and you never say what I want to hear."
Mr.: "Okay, just remind me of what you want to hear."
Wife: "At least we need to change how we address each other. Don't always call me 'wife.' Use a three-character term, something more affectionate."
Mr.: "I understand, old woman."
Comment: When the other person is in high spirits, don't say or do anything that will dampen their enthusiasm. Understand that happiness and joy are something that is cultivated together.
(eleven)
A wealthy man finally married a beautiful movie star. On their wedding night, in their bridal chamber, they tenderly undressed each other.
The groom said, "Now that we're husband and wife, we should treat each other with honesty. I have a few little secrets to tell you, please don't be surprised." The bride smiled charmingly and said, "Everyone has a few little secrets. Since you're willing to share your private matters with me, I've decided to tell you mine too."
The groom pulled off his wig and said to the bride, "Actually, I'm already bald..." Unexpectedly, the bride casually took off her long hair as well, saying, "What's the big deal? I was born completely bald..."
Seeing the groom staring blankly at her bald head, the bride took the initiative to confess: "Do you think my double eyelids are pretty? Actually, they were surgically created..." The groom was not surprised at all: "That's nothing. Look at my left eye..." As he spoke, he took his left eyeball out of its socket. It turned out that his left eye was fake.
The groom continued, "Not only my left eye, but my teeth are fake too..." The bride dismissed it, "It doesn't matter, I've had my nose done five times..." The groom said, "To be honest, the wrinkles on my face are surgically created."
The bride hesitated for a moment before finally saying, "I won't lie to you anymore, actually, I've had eight plastic surgeries to get this pretty face..." The groom, while taking off his shirt, added, "My heart is kept beating by a pacemaker..." The bride also took off her bra: "I got this full figure after having breast augmentation surgery..."
The groom slowed down: "Since you're so frank, I'll tell you my biggest secret—I'm almost bankrupt because of the economic crisis..." The bride, as if making a huge decision, replied: "I didn't want anyone to know, but you've been so good to me, so I'll tell you—actually, I wasn't originally a woman; I had sex reassignment surgery..."
"Great!" the groom exclaimed excitedly, peeling off his skin to reveal dark fur underneath. He hugged his bride tightly, saying, "My dear, I'm actually a gorilla. Come live with me in the forest..."

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11 classic jokes that will definitely help you

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