I'm dying of laughter

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1. One day, an Aries and a Lion walked into a restaurant.
The owner asked, "What would you like?" The Aries said, "A set meal. Thank you."
The owner asked again, "Isn't your Lion hungry?"
The Aries said, "No. Thanks."
The owner, not giving up, asked again, "Really don't want it?"
The Aries said yes.
The owner, somewhat unwilling, asked, "Think about it again. Does it really not want it?"
The Aries impatiently roared, "If you think it's hungry, would I still be here?"

2. A woman disguised herself as a man to join the army. On the battlefield, she got her period. The company commander saw this and ordered her to be carried away on a stretcher. She said she was fine. The company commander got angry, pulled down her pants, and said, "What do you mean 'fine'? Your dick is blown up and you still say it's fine?!"

3. One night, a mother was coaxing her 10-year-old son to go to his room to sleep alone. The little guy insisted that his mother sleep with him. Helpless, the mother said, "Aren't you ashamed? You're so big and you still need your mother to sleep with you!"
"Isn't Dad even bigger and still needs you to sleep with him every day!" the son said confidently.

4. Seeing her blushing face and adorable expression, my heart fluttered, and I whispered, "Do you...do you really like me?" She lowered her head: "Guess!" "I like you~" Her face turned even redder, and she lowered her head even further, "Guess again!"

5. On the bus, a pregnant woman standing said to the man sitting next to her: Don't you know I'm pregnant? The man nervously replied: "The child isn't mine!!"

6. A man was about to jump off a building, and his wife shouted: Honey, don't be impulsive, we have a long road ahead of us! After hearing this, the man jumped off. The policeman said: "You really shouldn't have threatened him like that!!"

7. The child was pondering the question of "heredity and environment." The mother interjected: "That's a simple question. Everyone knows that if a child looks like the father, it's heredity; if they look like the neighbor, it's environment."

8. A couple went to register for marriage. "Have you had a premarital checkup?" "Yes, he has a house and a car." "I meant at the hospital." The young woman blushed and whispered, "Yes, it's a boy."

9. Xiao Di mm was having her first swimming lesson. After an hour, she said to the coach, "I think we should stop here for today." "Why?" "I really can't drink any more."

10. After Tang Sanzang banished Wukong, he encountered another monster. He had to recite the Tightening-Headband Mantra to call Wukong back to save him. Soon, a voice came from the sky: "Sorry, the user you are calling is not in service area. Please try again later. "

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