Hilariously funny, so funny it's blinding!

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-24

1. Today I asked a girl: Are you still a virgin?

The girl laughed and said: In this era of constant warfare, it's good enough to guarantee the first pregnancy!

2. Today a woman was arguing with a tough girl. The tough girl got more and more aggressive until the woman said: "Damn it, just because you've had a few abortions, you really think you've killed someone." The situation was immediately brought under control.

3. A girl bought a new iPhone 6. Her roommate asked enviously, "Where did you get the money?"

The girl proudly replied, "I sent a mass text to all the boys in my class saying: I'm pregnant, transfer the money to account number: ××××, I'll take care of it myself! I had enough the next day!"

Her roommate sighed with admiration, "Many hands make light work!"

4. Girl A: "What a coincidence! My two childhood friends are pregnant at the same time! Let's arrange a marriage between our children!"

Girl B: "Okay, if we both have boys, let them be gay; if they both have girls, let them be lesbians; if one is a boy and the other a girl... let them become siblings!" 5.

I'm a struggling migrant worker in Beijing. The housing prices in Beijing are shocking. I discussed it with my girlfriend: "How about this, we'll live in a four-square-meter room from now on, put a 2x2 bed in it, hang a TV on the wall, and make do, okay?"

My girlfriend glanced at me: "I don't care about the size of the room, I just want to know if you can handle going to bed as soon as you get home..."

6. I came home from a business trip and saw my wife sleeping with Old Wang from next door. I was furious and started fighting with Old Wang. My wife, seeing this, joined Old Wang in hitting me, which broke my heart. Suddenly, my son kicked open the door and shouted, "Dad! I'm here to help you!!" A warm feeling welled up in my heart, but before I could even say anything, my son knocked me unconscious. ...

7. My husband had just taken off his clothes and lay down when his wife snuggled up to him.

He laughed and said, "When I lie down, I feel like Sun Wukong."

His wife was taken aback: "And what about me?"

He laughed: "I'm either Sha Wujing or Zhu Bajie."

8. One afternoon, the bureau chief went out for fun, unusually without his female secretary.

The next day at work, as soon as the bureau chief entered his office, the female secretary walked in.

The female secretary said, "Your wife came to see you yesterday afternoon."

The bureau chief was taken aback and said, "I know."

After the female secretary left, the bureau chief muttered to himself, "My wife is away on a business trip, why would she come to see me?"

9. The wife is pregnant and has very severe morning sickness, vomiting frequently.

The husband asked her with concern, "Honey, please don't vomit, okay?"

The wife was unhappy to hear this, as she hadn't meant to vomit.

She angrily said, "I'm going to vomit."

The husband said worriedly, "If you vomit again, you'll vomit the baby out."

The wife laughed, "Don't worry, I won't. I'm not Princess Iron Fan, I can't vomit people out of my mouth."

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Hilariously funny, so funny it's blinding!

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