Classic joke!

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-24

1. Very male and female
A dialogue between a man and a woman who have known each other for a long time.
Woman: Gang! We've known each other for years, have you ever thought about this?
You have been divorced from your ex-wife for over a year and are still single.
Man: Being single is a realization, you know?
Woman: What about marriage?
Man: Getting married was a mistake.
Woman: So, why did you get a divorce...?
Man: Divorce is a wake-up call.
Woman: So you haven't thought about getting married again?
Man: Remarrying is a sign of stubbornness.
Woman: Then why did you still date me?
Man: Falling in love is a loss of understanding.
Woman: Let's break up!
Man: Breaking up is a sign of enlightenment.
Woman: Oh... so you don't see me as your lover.
Man: A person without a lover is a waste.
Woman: There are so many women in this vast world, they could all be your lovers!
Man: Having too many lovers is animalistic. I know you're feeling bad right now. Once you figure it out, you'll know I'm right.
Woman: ... (crying)
2. I hate this question the most.
Man: "Honey, how old are you?"
Woman: "I hate it when you ask that."
Man: "Why?"
Woman: "It's nothing! It's like asking you how much money you have in your wallet!"
3. The insignificant husband lay in bed; he had caught a cold.
"Darling, if I died, would you feel a little sad because you missed me?"
"Of course, darling, because you know: I care about even the smallest things."
I need to have a good cry.
4. The ghost stories I'm telling you are all based on my own experiences. Believe it or not?
When I was a child, I lived in an old house. One night, I suddenly woke up and heard a strange sound: someone was chopping vegetables and sharpening a knife in the kitchen. After a while, I heard a rhythmic sound of digging in the vegetable garden behind the house. I was so scared that I didn't dare to move. The next day, I went to check, and the whetstone was still there, looking like no one had used it in a long time, and the ground hadn't been disturbed at all. One night, I was half asleep when I suddenly touched a pair of cold feet.
Not long after my uncle passed away, I went back to the old house. It was almost 2 a.m. that night, and I was still knitting under the dim light. Suddenly, the coat I had placed at the other end of the sofa fluttered up and landed on my shoulder. I was so frightened that I quickly turned off the light and crawled under the covers. After a while, I heard my uncle coughing outside, and the sound of him weaving a basket...
One night, I was walking alone, feeling scared because of the thought of ghosts. Suddenly, I saw a woman in white ahead of me. I tried to catch up with her, hoping to keep her company. But I couldn't. Perhaps she was tired, because I saw her sitting by the roadside. I ran up to her, and lo and behold, there was only a bird standing there watching me…
When I was little, I went to cut grass on the barren hill near my home by myself. I saw a pile of grass that looked good, and I had just cut one blade when I saw two mud figures standing in the grass. I returned home feeling dizzy and fell seriously ill.

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Classic joke!

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