Funny and witty short jokes

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-26

No.
1 A: The weather is so nice today!
B: Yeah, it's great!
A: Look at that cloud, doesn't it look like the two hundred yuan I borrowed from you last month?
B:…
No. 2
In junior high, one of my roommates got into trouble and was surrounded by more than twenty people on the weekend. This guy rushed into the toilet and dragged out a stick covered in poop. That's right! The scene instantly reversed, and he chased after a group of people! He bragged about this for many years.
No. 3
In elementary school, I once had a handful of sour dates in my pocket. I didn't know back then that you couldn't eat in class. I was bored during class, so I ate some dates. The teacher walked up to me, didn't even look at me, and held out his hand in front of me. I thought the teacher was really nice to me, so I spat the date pits into the teacher's hand. And then…and then I was gloriously punished by standing in the corner…
No. 4
In middle school, there was a top class in our grade. Once, a teacher came to substitute teach, and the class was so noisy that it was out of control!
The teacher stood on the podium and yelled: Except for the top class, all of you are trash, useless, stupid, and scum.
A student slowly stood up and said: "Then teacher, why can't you teach the top class?" ...
Teacher...
No. 5
My uncle and grandfather separated their households and live separately. I went to my uncle's house for the New Year and made dumplings.
My mom said: "Go, take a bowl and send it to your grandfather?"
I said: "My uncle isn't going?"
My mom said: "I'm telling you to go!"
I said: "I mean, my uncle isn't going?"
My mom slapped me twice: "You're not going? Your grandfather has spoiled you for nothing!"
No. 6
My girlfriend sent me a message: "I'm on a business trip. The condoms are in the dressing table drawer. Take them yourself when you need them." That night, I was lying in bed watching videos and remembered my girlfriend's words. I was curious, so I opened the drawer and found a box full of condoms with a note underneath: "By the time you see this note, we will have broken up. Honestly, I was just looking..."
No. 7
Back then, my goddess asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend to appease her parents. We agreed on a fee of 300 yuan. When I went to her house, I saw a mansion and a sports car. Her parents were very satisfied with me and even arranged for my goddess to sleep in the same room with me that night.
That night, the goddess leaned on me shyly and said, "Why don't you just be my boyfriend?"

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Funny and witty short jokes

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